Sekirei? Is that some new species of little sister?
by Noodlehammer
Summary: Naruto was on a mission to get himself some little sisters and by his divine left testicle, he was going to get them. Xanna was content to let him do it and maybe corrupt one or two in the process for amusement. Third in series, advisable to read previous ones first.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: The cake is a lie. Also, I don't own anything except for the story itself.**

**IMPORTANT NOTICE:**** This is the third story in a series and it is ****_highly_**** advisable to read at least the first one so that you know what the hell is going on.**

**Feel free to disregard this, but ye shall be mightily confused if you do so.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Akitsu stared ahead morosely, her thoughts just going around in random circles. She was cold, dressed as she was in nothing but panties and a bloodied lab coat, but felt no particular impulse to go anywhere warmer. Her butt also felt sore from sitting on the hard park bench for so long, but she couldn't be bothered to move.

What was the point? She had escaped from the labs after the incompotent MBI adjustor had caused her to become incapable of winging, but for what? At the time she'd just run out of fear and instinct, but once that had passed she had lost the will to move.

Without the ability to have an Ashikabi, she had no purpose and no reason to go find food, shelter or warm clothing. So she kept on sitting the cold, hard bench as she had been doing for the past several hours despite the protests of her body. She didn't want to die, but as a scrapped number, she had no reason to exist. Nobody would want a broken Sekirei after all.

"What happened to you to make you so sad?" A deep voice with a distinct sub-vocal growl to it asked a lot more gently than you would expect such a voice to be capable of.

Akitsu blinked sleepily and looked towards the speaker that had somehow crept up on her without her noticing, though she hadn't really been paying attention either.

A big man, much bigger than her and full of muscle that was easily visible thanks to his open haori and lack of shirt. A mane of bright golden hair fell down to his waist and the hilt of a sword was visible over his shoulder, those were far from being his most distinct features though. No, that honor definitely belonged to the horns on his head and the fiery color of his slitted eyes, which were oddly compassionate in spite of their predatory look.

The people that were responsible for giving the Sekirei a basic education only made passing mentions of religion. Consequently, the demonic appearance of the man meant nothing to her.

Having no reason to refuse answering him, she spoke in her usual halting way. "Broken…scrapped number. I can't be winged."

Turning her eyes away, she expected that the odd man would leave now. She knew that most humans wouldn't know what that meant, but her limited exposure to the species had told her that they tended to be rather self absorbed. She'd never seen a human that looked like that, but didn't care enough to think too hard about it either. No matter if the man was human or not, her problem still stood.

"Well, that doesn't mean a damn thing to me." She heard him saying with some amusement in his voice. A brief flicker of irritation welled up in her before being drowned out by depression. She just didn't have it in her right now to muster any anger over being laughed at.

"Would you like to come with me? You look like you could use some food and a bath. I won't hurt you, I promise."

The sincere tone and offer caused her to look up at him again, though her depressed, sleepy expression still didn't change. "You…want me?" She asked quietly, just the faint tinge of disbelieving hope in the words.

"I'd like to take care of you." He answered honestly. Normally he might have made a joke about the suggestive sounding words, but even he could tell that this was a bad time. The depression that was practically rolling off the girl was enough of a clue on that count. "Do you want me to take you away from here?"

"Ah….yes." Akitsu agreed hesitantly, desperately hoping that she could find a place where she was wanted even if she couldn't be winged.

"Alright then, lets get you out of here."

She accepted the offered arm without hesitation and tried to stand, only for her legs to decided that they didn't want to cooperate now that she'd spent an unknown number of hours sitting on the cold and uncomfortable bench.

A strong hand caught her before she could stumble and she felt herself being lifted up into his arms before she managed to right herself.

"Easy there, looks like you won't be doing any walking just yet." Her still unnamed benefactor said soothingly and held her close to his chest.

A tinge of pink spread across her cheeks at how warm he was and how nice it felt to be held like that before a spike of fear welled up in her.

"Ah….sorry." She apologized shamefully, afraid that she would be abandoned already for being a burden.

"Don't be sorry, I was just looking for an excuse to carry you anyway." He teased gently.

Her cheeks pinked again and she settled against his chest more easily. She remembered some vague warning being told to her about not trusting suspicious looking men, especially at night, but she honestly couldn't care about that now.

A soft and warm blanket settled on her and was wrapped around her, causing her to blink in confusion. She didn't remember seeing any blankets being carried. Her thoughts on the puzzle were interrupted the rumble of her stomach.

"Sorry." She muttered again, trying to hide her face. She'd only had someone that wanted her for two minutes and she was being nothing but trouble.

His only response was a deep chuckle. "Don't worry sweetie, we'll get you something to eat soon."

"Ah….sweetie." She muttered to herself very quietly with her blush deepening slightly.

"I never got your name, I'm Uzumaki Naruto." He said, clearly more of a question than a statement.

Akitsu blinked slowly again before speaking. "Ah….Akitsu, Sekirei #07, now yours Naruto-sama." Privately, she relished speaking the words. So maybe she couldn't be winged, but this man wanted her and had been very kind, so she would do everything in her power to obey his orders and keep him safe. In this way, maybe she would find some purpose for herself.

"I have no idea what any of that means aside from the fact that your name is Akitsu," He commented with amusement. "but you would make me very happy if you called me 'onii-chan'."

Akitsu pressed her head into his chest before speaking again. "Onii-sama."

"Mou, so distant. I like onii-chan better."

She fidgeted nervously, uncomfortable adressing her self-chosen master in such a familiar manner. But he did say that it would make him happy…..

"Onii-chan."

"You're so cute when you say that, it just makes me want to hug you." Naruto said happily and squeezed her tighter, much to Akitsu's hidden pleasure.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto grinned to himself as he carried Akitsu back towards the stupidly expensive hotel where he and Xanna had situated themselves. They hadn't even bothered to hide their horns.

It turns out that you could get away with a _lot_ if you acted as if there was absolutely nothing strange about having horns, fangs, claws and slitted eyes. He'd definitely heard some people muttering about cosplay and how well he and Xanna were doing it. Seriously, people could convince themselves that anything was normal under the proper circumstances. Well that and if you happened to drop enough money to pay for six months use of the penthouse like it was nothing.

As soon as he and Xanna had entered this dimension they'd noticed the 108 strange chakra signatures, which had been rather startling. That there even were chakra signatures had been odd enough, even more so once they determined that these signatures were anything but normal.

But Naruto hadn't honestly cared about that too much. What he was interested in was seeing if any of those chakra signatures were girls in need of a big brother. With this in mind, he'd zeroed in on the one that was emanating the greatest amount of emotional pain.

Akitsu was quite something, that much he could tell already. She was clearly in a deep state of depression when he'd found her, but she seemed to be feeling a lot better already just because he'd come to talk to her and asked her to come with him. Actually it was rather worrying how easily she had agreed to go with a complete stranger, especially one that looked like him. What if some worthless scumbag had appproached her before he could?

Naruto had to admit that Akitsu was definitely a very beautiful woman. Not to mention that he hadn't seen a pair of natural breasts that big since Tsunade…or maybe Hinata…or Samui for that matter, and that marking on her forehead looked quite exotic. He'd need to ask her about that one later, as well as what the hell a Sekirei and Ashikabi was.

He could tell that it wasn't a tattoo, as it was somehow connected to the distinctly artificial feeling chakra core in her body. The very fact that all of her chakra seemed to be focused into some kind of orb inside her chest was strange enough, but he would discuss that with Xanna later.

Seeing that his passenger was about to fall asleep, Naruto took a shortcut and teleported up to the penthouse. He'd been enjoying the walk, but he didn't want her falling asleep before she got a bath and something to eat.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Found one already?"

The distinctly female voice woke Akitsu from her slight doze and she looked around with sleepy curiousity at where her new master had brought her.

It was a spacious bathroom that fairly oozed decadent wealth, with its dominant feature being the large jacuzzi style bathtub that already had an occupant. The woman was as distinctive as Naruto with her shining white hair, slitted red eyes and horns. No doubt she was the one that had spoken, as she was now scrutinizing Akitsu with her intense gaze.

The words themselves confused her though. Had her new master been looking for a Sekirei? That would make the most sense, if not for the fact that he didn't seem to know anything about Sekirei or the Sekirei plan.

"Yeah, she looked like she needed someone to take care of her." Naruto confirmed and used one claw to cut off Akitsu's panties without bothering to ask for permission. He'd get her some new ones tomorrow.

"Akitsu, this is my wife, Xanna." He told her while removing the lab coat she was wearing, still without a single protest being sounded by the girl in his arms, much to Naruto's confusion. Usually if he'd done something like that, the woman in question would be screaming bloody murder long before now.

"Hello." She said quietly, instantly classifying the white haired woman as someone to be obeyed right after Naruto.

Once she was completely naked, he lowered her towards the water and was much amused when she jerked away as soon as her feet touched the water.

"Ah….hot."

"Want me to cool it down a bit for you?" He asked with a grin.

Instead of answering, Akitsu dipped her toes into the water again and used her power over ice to cool the water down to a more manageable temperature.

"Oh? You have power over ice?" Xanna asked mostly rhetorically, having felt the distinct use of that element just now. These artificial chakra cores were quite the interesting things. Perhaps this would be more than just a universe where Naruto could get himself a few little sisters. Not much more, but she intended to investigate how this could possibly have come about.

"Yes, I am the Sekirei of ice." Akitsu said with a small nod of her head, now submerged in the water nearly up to her nose. She could already feel the water warming up as another power was used to heat it. She made no protest despite the small discomfort it brought her. It would pass once she got used to it anyway and it wasn't worth mentioning.

Xanna filed away that word for later. The girl was clearly exhausted and hungry and there was no need to badger her with that now. It wasn't as if there was any kind of rush.

Naruto entered the hot tub himself, paying no mind to the heat as he put an arm around his wife and another around his newly adopted little sister. "Feeling better Akitsu?

"Yes master."

The quiet response got an incredulous look from Naruto and a very amused one from Xanna.

"Husband, I thought you went out looking for a little sister, not a slave."

"I did." Naruto answered, trying to figure out how exactly this had happened. Had Akitsu seriously just been sitting there, waiting for someone to come along and take her with them with the expectation that she would become their slave?

Nah, it couldn't be. That was just too absurd.

"Akitsu, you aren't a slave, I brought you here because I wanted to help you. Do you understand?" He asked carefully.

"Yes." She replied with a short nod. It made her happy that he cared so much, but she still considered him her master. She didn't want to be told to leave after he was done helping her. She would have to do her very best so that she didn't get sent away.

"Well now that that's settled…..massage my feet while we wait for room service husband." Xanna said, moving away and plopping her feet on Naruto's lap.

Privately, she was rather amused by the situation Naruto had gotten himself into just now and she very much doubted that it had been settled just like that. This had all sorts of potential for some laughs.

"Yes dear." Naruto said in amusement, grinning as he started working on her feet. He knew that Xanna liked it when he massaged her feet and he certainly had no problem doing it.

Akitsu blinked slowly as she watched her self chosen master getting told to do something by his wife. Perhaps Xanna should be obeyed above all others if she could tell her master what to do? So confusing, she would need to watch carefully to figure this out.

Akitsu wasn't much of a talker, but she had always been very perceptive. She would figure it out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hours later, Naruto and Xanna were spooning in their ridiculously huge bed after the usual sex that they constantly engaged in. They'd blocked the sound to make sure they didn't wake up Akitsu, that girl needed her rest.

"I'm sure you've noticed that your new slave girl has an artificial chakra core." Xanna said conversationally.

"She's not my slave." Naruto said with an eyeroll. "But yes, I have noticed."

"I find myself curious as to how exactly someone managed that feat. The ability to do something like this is no small matter, even if it appears limited to a single power if Akitsu is any kind of measuring stick."

"She did say something about being broken, but I was going to wait until tomorrow to ask her about that." Naruto admitted.

"Not to mention this Sekirei thing that she claims to be." Xanna added.

"Yeah, that too." Naruto agreed. "She says it as if it's her race, but she seems human to me. A human with the energy of her body and spirit twisted very strangely, but human all the same."

"Well, time enough for that tomorrow." Xanna said carelessly and pressed herself back against him, just enjoying the feeling of being held. "Cuddle time now."

Naruto rumbled a wordless agreement into her ear and held tighter. He'd never say no to a cuddle.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Akitsu woke up just as the first light of dawn began to light up the day and jerked slightly in fright as she didn't recognize where she was for a moment.

Her memory cleared soon enough and she remembered being taken in by her kind new master. The thought brought a tiny little smile to her face before it smoothed back into its usual sleepy look.

She looked around the room she was in idle curiousity, having apparently fallen asleep soon after eating as her exhaustion caught up to her. It was a very big room, with obviously expensive furniture that was worlds better than what she was used to seeing in the MBI labs. The only thing she didn't like about the room was the fact that it obviously wasn't her master's. There had been a quiet hope in her mind that she would have been allowed to sleep next to him.

Looking down at herself, she discovered that she was wearing a set of white PJ's made of high quality silk. The way that it slid across her bare nipples was rather distractingly arousing actually and it made her cheeks go pink as she imagined her master touching them.

Still with that thought in mind, she very quietly padded over to what she guessed was the master bedroom and silently opened the door just a crack.

What she saw made her bite her lip in envy. Her master was tightly and lovingly spooning his wife. She wished with all her heart that she could be the one to be there or that she could join them. But she didn't know if either of them would mind if she just invited herself to their bed. It had not been hard to see that her master valued Xanna above all else and she him. She didn't want to do anything to make either of them angry at her.

In fact it would probably be for the best if she just considered Xanna her mistress as well. It would clear up confusion at least.

"Ah…lucky." She murmured to herself with a tiny smile. It would be almost like having two Ashikabi.

Feeling a bit more cheered up, she placed herself in front of the door and stood guard. She would show them that she was worth keeping!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Xanna opened a single crimson eye and assessed the situation.

Naruto was spooning her and she was feeling very comfortable. Another benefit of not needing to dispose of waste, you never needed to get up from a comfortable position in the morning because of something as silly as a full bladder!

Akitsu was standing in front of the door, radiating determination mixed with longing. Without a single thought as to the privacy of the girl's thoughts, she took a peek into her head and couldn't stop a smirk from forming on her face.

Not only had Akitsu almost completely disregarded Naruto's assurance that he was not her master, but she had also started thinking of Xanna herself as her mistress. She seemed to be under the impression that she would be cast aside if she didn't prove her worth to them.

The thought of it almost made her scoff. Naruto never abandoned those he took as his little sisters, they could abandon him though. Though it was blatantly obvious that Akitsu didn't want to be a little sister.

The longing was nothing more than the desire to join them in the bed. The ice user was starved for affection of any sort and wanted it desperately.

She also got some vague impressions of what this Sekirei business was about, but didn't pry too far into that. Akitsu could explain it herself once they woke up.

An idea started taking shape in her mind, an idea that might be worth quite a few laughs. Most of them at Naruto's expense.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Akitsu was still standing guard outside the master bedroom, ignorant of the fact that those within didn't need protecting, when her vigil was disturbed.

_Come into the room Akitsu._

Akitsu blinked to herself in puzzlement. While she was still somewhat tired, she hadn't thought it was bad enough that she would be hearing voices in her head. True, she really did want to join her master and mistress in the bed, but it would be foolish to risk their anger by doing so without invitation. This hallucination of her mistresses voice asking her to enter the room was just too good to be true, so she didn't listen to it.

Besides, despite the chance of enemy Ashikabi attacking here being small, it was not _zero_, so she would stay watchful.

_You are not hallucinating Akitsu and we are both much stronger than you. We don't need protecting._

This time, the voice in her head was full of exasperated amusement that made Akitsu's cheeks go pink.

"Ah….mistress?" She asked tentatively, wanting to confirm that she was indeed being spoken to by her mistress and not hallucinating.

_Yes Akitsu, I really am speaking to you and I note that you still haven't done as I told you._ Xanna replied pointedly.

Akitsu hastened to obey now that it was established that she was not in fact hallucinating, fearing that she had irritated her new mistress with the delay. Despite her haste, she still entered the room with her customary silence. She had never liked making noise when she moved or spoke, which naturally made all of her actions silent and deliberate.

Once she was inside the room she shuffled uncertainly, not knowing what to do next. They both seemed to be sleeping, though it was obvious that Xanna at least was awake.

_Join me on the bed. That is what you wanted isn't it?_ Xanna's mental voice came again.

Akitsu's face didn't budge the slightest bit, but inwardly she was jumping for joy and did as she was told without hesitation.

After some very careful positioning so that Naruto didn't wake up, she ended up being spooned by the significantly taller woman and her face developed a happy glow once she was settled. She was curious about the obvious power displayed by Xanna just now, but didn't ask. It wasn't her place to ask questions. The only thing she cared about was the fact that neither of her two new masters were Sekirei and that she belonged to someone.

_Stay quiet for me Akitsu, we wouldn't want to wake up Naruto now would we._ Xanna murmured into her mind and slid her right hand under the top half of Akitsu's PJ's, resting it just beneath her breasts.

Already obeying, Akitsu just nodded her head without speaking, though she did twitch and let out a tiny gasp at the touch. Her resolve to keep silent was tested was she suddenly felt herself being engulfed by a power so vast that she could feel no end to it. It swamped her utterly, making her feel completely insignificant and she understood what Xanna had meant when she said that they didn't need her protection. Even the fearsome Black Sekirei Karasuba was nothing to them.

Many would have felt terrified by this realisation, but not Akitsu. She felt nothing but happiness that she had been found and claimed by someone so powerful. They had no need of her, but she had been chosen anyway. Anything that she could do, they could do better. That did much to allay her fears of being discarded, though she still intended to do her best so as not to waste this opportunity.

Additionally, being completely drowned in the vast power of her new mistress also felt incredibly _good_. Especially so because of Akitsu's particular submissive kink, though she had never thought of it that way.

On Xanna's end, she was well aware of Akitsu's skyrocketing arousal and quite amused by it, but it was not why she had done this. She was doing this because she was interested in the artificial chakra core and wanted to examine it, as well as making the first step of her little prank on Naruto.

It was a curious thing to be sure. The energy of her body was being concentrated inside her and then given shape by her spirit, no doubt focusing and locking it into control over the ice element. She had never even considered doing something so ass backwards before and it was quite clear that this was more likely done through technology rather than being chakra manipulation by a superior being such as herself or Naruto.

That was actually rather impressive in its own right, even though it was crude and inflexible. The bodies of these Sekirei were generally more durable than the average shinobi, but they were locked to the use of a single ability.

Curiously enough, Akitsu's core seemed damaged somehow, which she figured tied into her claim of being broken. No longer willing to wait for an explanation now that she had the girl in her clutches already, she rummaged around in her head until she found the answers she sought.

_Ah, so this inability to be 'winged' is why you claim to be broken._ Xanna muttered mentally to herself. Akitsu heard it too, but was in no state to respond, busy as she was trying to hold back moans of pleasure.

She felt that she could fix the damage, but didn't want to attempt it without seeing a normal 'Sekirei core' as it was called, up close. A rather ostentatious name for a chakra core in her opinion, but it was of no concern to her. She would seek out another Sekirei later and examine their core to see the difference, probably more than one for the sake of comparison.

Finished with her examination, she withdrew and discovered that Akitsu was desperately trying to keep still and quiet as she had been told to do. This was made difficult by her heavy breathing and her body all but burning in arousal. It was hard for her to resist grinding against Xanna in a wordless plea for more.

"Oh you liked that did you?" She purred into her ear and grabbed on to one of Akitsu's nipples, pulling and pinching it ever so slightly.

Akitsu swallowed heavily and nodded jerkily, forcing down the mewl of pleasure that wanted to crawl out of her throat.

"You must be _aching_ for more." Xanna continued sensually, sliding her hand down Akitsu's stomach and stopping to scratch at the dark brown fuzz of hair just above her entrance.

Akitsu panted and was about to answer when a growl from the still sleeping Naruto made her freeze, fearing that she had failed her mistress by waking him. Much to her relief, he settled back into sleep.

Xanna was amused by the whole thing, knowing that it would take more than that to wake up her husband, who slept like a log despite both his teachers repeteadly telling him that shinobi should be light sleepers. Ten years spent in isolation had only made that trait more prominent.

Naruto never was a very good shinobi. Powerful to be sure, but 'shock trooper' was a far more apt description of his combat style.

"Well, if you want more, then here is what you do….." Xanna began explaining while simulataneously lightly rubbing Akitsu's groin, just enough to make her arousal even stronger without giving her an orgasm.

"Do you understand?" She asked a few minutes later and removed her hand.

"Yes mistress." Akitsu answered breathlessly, her groin sopping wet and feeling like it was on fire.

"Good, now clean up this mess you left on my hand." Xanna said in satisfaction and placed her hand, which was now sticky from Akitsu's arousal, in front of the ice Sekirei's mouth.

Akitsu didn't hesitate to start licking it clean for even a moment. She was so happy with who her master and mistress were that even her inability to be winged didn't hurt as much as it used to.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

An approving sound rumbled from Naruto's throat as a pair of soft lips paid attention to one of his nipples. Still half asleep, he grabbed the owner of said lips by the butt and pressed her naked body down on his already rock hard erection, eliciting a gasp as her slit was rubbed along it lengthwise.

He frowned slightly, finding that gasp to be rather unfamiliar. Come to think of it, the ass he was fondling wasn't as firm as it was supposed to be and the breasts squashed into his chest were too big. Additionally, the teeth weren't sharp enough and if he didn't miss his guess, there was a lot of missing heigth.

Opening his eyes, he was greeted by Akitsu's perpetually sleepy expression while she continued to nibble on his nipple.

"Good morning master." Akitsu greeted briefly and flicked her tongue over the nipple again.

"Akitsu." He greeted back, not too perturbed to find her lying on top of him. "Didn't I tell you that I wasn't your master?"

"Ah….Akitsu was a bad girl." The ice Sekirei said and continued in a hopeful tone. "Spank me?"

Naruto couldn't help laughing at that and proceeded to slap her butt lightly, drawing a disctinctly pleasured sounding yelp from her.

"What are you doing on top of me?" He asked mildly.

Akitsu stifled the urge to scramble off him and give an apology. Xanna had told her that she didn't need to be afraid of abandonment and that Naruto wouldn't be angry at her for doing this. His good natured reactions so far confirmed that and gave her the courage to continue.

"Ah…..rubbing myself against master's body makes me happy." She emphasised this by sliding her sopping wet entrance slowly over his member.

"Is that so?" Naruto asked in bemusement. "I'm guessing that you don't _really_ want to be my little sister?"

"Ah….master likes incest?" She asked, seemingly in realisation, though it was hard to tell when her expression barely changed. "Please be gentle with me onii-chan."

Naruto chuckled again and pushed down on her butt, coincidentally also pushing her more firmly down on his member. "I'm getting the feeling that my dear wife put you up to this."

"Ah….." Akitsu moaned out but managed to answer. "mistress…..helped."

"Mistress huh?" Naruto said musingly. "Is this really what you want?"

"Ah, yes….please take good care of me master." She answered almost shyly, picking up on the fact that it was an important question.

"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting to end up in this kind of situation when we came here yesterday." He muttered to himself, voice heavy with irony.

"Please don't reject me." Akitsu pleaded with quiet desperation, her courage leaving her at the prospect. She couldn't go back to being the scrapped number, not after feeling wanted for even a short while.

Naruto sighed with amused resignation and gave the girl a hug. "Don't worry Akitsu, I'm not going to reject you. You'll have a place with me and Xanna for as long as you want it."

Akitsu returned the hug, sighing happily.

Less than half a minute later she started fidgeting and rubbing her still aching womanhood over his member again. "Ah…Rip open my virgin pussy master."

Naruto gave the ice Sekirei an odd look before figuring out where that had come from. "Xanna told you to say that didn't she?"

Akitsu's expression didn't change, but Naruto could clearly feel that she was embarrassed as she nodded. Obviously not something that she would have said on her own.

"Strangely enough, you're the first virgin I'm going to have sex with. You're a special girl Akitsu." He said teasingly.

"Ah….I'm special." She said to herself, flushing with pleasure. Akitsu decided that she liked being special.

Any further thought on the subject was interrupted when he rolled them over so that he was on top. Akitsu gasped in both surprise and pleasure. The sense of restrained power pressing down on her was both comforting and arousing to the ice Sekirei.

Comforting because she knew that she belonged to the owner of this power now and arousing because she simply liked the idea of her master being stronger than her.

Another, far more drawn out gasp escaped her throat when she felt him slowly begin to penetrate her. She was more than ready, so there was no pain, only a wonderful feeling of being stretched and filled.

"Now lets take care of that pesky virginity of yours." He murmured into her ear and pushed further inside. Akitsu felt only a brief flare of pain before a curious numbness smothered it.

After that, there was only pleasure and she loved every moment of it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Hiroto Minaka was feeling undecisive. A very odd state of mind for him and one that he didn't like.

His feeling of indecision was entirely due to the two unexpected new arrivals in his city. He wasn't stupid enough to think that the horned man and woman were just eccentric rich cosplayers like most people, but he couldn't for the life of them figure out what they really were.

They had just appeared in Shinto Teito literally out of nowhere and moved into the penthouse of the most expensive hotel in the city. That had been more than enough to capture his interest, but the fact that the male of the two, Uzumaki Naruto, had made a beeline for #07 solidified it. Not that the name helped him at all, since there was absolutely no information that would indicate the existence of such a man.

The only reason he even knew the horned man's name was because he'd used it to sign into the hotel, but the fact that he'd gone and picked up the scrapped number was a point of some concern. His plan for the broken Sekirei had been to let that brat of an Ashikabi in the south get her, fully expecting the depressed and dependent Akitsu to latch onto the first person to show any interest in her. She was meant to be an unwingable wildcard that would make the game more interesting.

Well, he'd gotten his wildcard alright, but it was a bit more wild than he'd anticipated. This complete unknown now had possession of the scrapped number and no normal Sekirei to make him a true contender in the Sekirei Plan. And that wasn't even accounting for his complete lack of intelligence on the demonic looking duo. For all he knew, they were another pair of aliens with superhuman powers.

His indecision was based on the fact that he didn't know if he should contact them in order to explain the rules of the Sekirei Plan or if he should just let them do whatever they wanted until one of them acquired a normal Sekirei.

In the end he decided that it would be better to contact them immediately, since they'd likely get another, normal Sekirei soon enough. Besides, what was a game without some unknowns?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hehehe, I'm gonna get you Akitsu." Naruto crowed triumphantly, grinning all the while.

"Ah….no." Akitsu denied quietly but firmly, her sleepy expression replaced by one of intense focus as she stared at the large TV mounted on the wall, fingers furiously manipulating the controller in her hand with superhuman speed. She was still dressed in the very comfortable silk PJ's, but would be getting some new clothing soon.

Xanna watched in amusement as the two of them played the latest Mortal Kombat game on the latest gaming console(which Naruto had stolen in some other corner of the world recently). They'd been at it ever since finishing off breakfast, which had been a couple of hours ago now. She'd have to try this herself later, it looked as if it might be interesting.

This dimension seemed to be aproximately twenty years chronologically ahead of the previous one and Naruto had spared little time in investigating how the gaming industry had progressed, having taken an interest in it before they left. He'd also wasted no time in challenging Akitsu to a battle after setting the whole thing up.

The shy ice Sekirei had been hesitant at first, but had gotten into it quickly enough and was now giving it her all to beat her self chosen master at the game. They'd been at it for a couple of hours already and there was a small pile of crushed and frozen controllers nearby, a silent testament to the fact that they hadn't been made for people with super powers.

Naruto had solidly dominated the battles at first, as Akitsu was both more unfamiliar with it and seemed to think that she should be letting her master win. That had changed once she'd gotten used to it and Xanna had encouraged her to do her best.

Honestly, the way that those people in MBI had systematically destroyed Akitsu's self worth was monstrous and she knew that Naruto would decide to murder them all as soon as he found out.

But to return to the game, Akitsu had started actually winning lately, though that was probably mostly because she refused to play any character aside from Sub-Zero, while Naruto liked to switch between them a lot. It gave her the edge of being more familiar with her chosen character.

Naruto was at this point growling to himself in focus as he tried desperately to outmaneouver Akitsu's skilled use of Sub-Zero's freezing powers. He finally managed it and was in a perfect position to execute a punishing combo move that would end with Akitsu's defeat, followed by a spectacular fatality finish.

And then suddenly their fight was interrupted as the screen changed to show a white haired man with a ridiculous hair style, wearing glasses and dressed in a rather pompous looking white cloak over a white suit.

"Greetings Uzumaki Naruto-san and welcome to the Sekirei Plan!"

Naruto leaned back on the couch, throwing his crushed controller on the pile of previously crushed ones and spoke with a very even voice. "You just interrupted my epic finishing move, the epic finishing move that I've been trying to pull off for the past half hour."

Inhaling deeply in a way that most people would understand was a sign of deep irritation, he spoke again. "So, who the hell are you and what do you want?"

Minaka blinked in surprise at the response but ploughed onward. "I am Hiroto Minaka, president of MBI, game master of the Sekirei Plan and I am here to explain to you the rules of the game you've entered."

"Alright, I'll pretend to care about your rules for a few minutes, but first, why don't you explain to me how you know my name and how you're talking to me through the TV."

"As the president of MBI, I know everything that goes on in Shinto Teito and I can connect to any electronic device." Minaka boasted grandly. "But you Uzumaki-san, you and your companion are a mystery. Appearing out of nowhere like that and setting up basecamp practically in the middle of the city, appparently having knowledge of the Sekirei if your decision to immediately approach Akitsu is any clue. I am quite impressed by your boldness and curious as to your origins and would like to invite you to a meeting in the MBI tower for this discussion. I am certain that someone of your obvious wealth would prefer-"

"Oh yes, you dirty bitch! Work the shaft!" Naruto interrupted lewdly, having gotten fed up with this moron's blabbering.

"Excuse me?" Minaka asked, blinking in confusion at the interruption.

"Oh, never mind me. I just like to dirty talk when someone is _sucking my dick._" Naruto explained with a placid smile.

"Right, perhaps I should just skip to the point." Minaka said, regaining his composture. Eccentric he might be, but slow on the uptake he was not. Clearly, Uzumaki Naruto was not the type to appreciate politeness.

"Might be a good idea." Naruto agreed.

"I would like you to come meet me in my office, so that I can explain to you the intricacies of the Sekirei Plan in a more comfortable setting."

"And I would have liked to finish my game with Akitsu without being interrupted, but this stupid looking, self entitled little shitstain decided that he needed to make a grand appearance on our TV just as I was about to execute a flawless combo move." Naruto retorted, doing his best imitation of Xanna's most condescending tone.

"Err, alright then. I'll just explain it now." Minaka said, containing his annoyance with some difficulty. He had no idea what he was dealing with here and didn't want to make any rash moves, but Uzumaki was proving to be inordinately good at pissing people off. "Even though she is a scrapped number, now that you've claimed Akitsu, you are part of the Sekirei Plan and it is expected of you to keep it secret or face retaliation from MBI."

"And what exactly gave you the idea that Akitsu belongs to him?" Xanna interrupted with cool disdain.

"Well he was the one to pick her up from the park wasn't he?" Minaka asked in confusion.

"Come here Akitsu." Xanna said to the ice Sekirei, without the disdain she'd showed for the MBI CEO.

"Yes mistress." Akitsu said immediately, and obediently sat at Xanna's feet, leaning her head back in pleasure when the horned goddess gently scratched her scalp.

"Ah, I see." Minaka said with a tone of realisation, figuring that the woman was the one in control. "May I have your name miss?"

"You may not even lick the dirt under my feet insect, much less have my name ." Was the derisive response.

Minaka had to struggle hard now to keep his temper in check. He'd never met a pair of people quite so infuriating before. One was crass, rude and insulting while the other was intolerably arrogant and insulting.

"Akitsu, you don't happen to know how to get this retard to buzz off do you? I want a rematch on that last fight." Naruto asked the Sekirei, dismissing Minaka completely.

"Ah….no master." She replied, confusing Minaka further. Were the two of them sharing the scrapped number between them or something?

"I guess there's no helping it then, I'll just have to kill him." Naruto said with a flippant shrug.

Akitsu was privately glad to see her master and mistress mocking the head of MBI like this and knowing that there was nothing the man could do about it. She'd never liked him or MBI in general. They had been the ones to experiment on her and break her ability to be winged and she wasn't naïve enough to think that Minaka hadn't know about it or even planned for it to happen. If it hadn't been for him then maybe she could have been a proper Sekirei for them like they deserved, instead of a scrapped number.

"There is no need for that, I was just leaving." Minaka butted in, his good humor gone. He didn't believe that they could match the might of Karasuba but there was no sense in escalating things that far so early in the game. "As long as you respect the rules, I will only contact you to update you on the progress of the Sekirei Plan from now on."

"Don't bother, whatever stupid plan you're talking about stopped mattering when we came into town. As of that point, the only plan that still matters is Naruto's Little Sister Plan." The horned blond said dismissively.

Minaka couldn't help chuckling at that. He'd been laying down the groundwork for the Sekirei Plan for decades and now it was suddenly unimportant just because of a couple of new arrivals? How absurd. "I'm afraid you don't understand the severity of the-"

"If you attempt to make another threat, I will rip off your fingers. One. By. One." Xanna interrupted with slow deliberation, her crimson gaze glowing slightly as it bored into the arrogant CEO.

In spite of himself, Minaka froze with instinctive terror, his lizard hindbrain warning him of danger that higher brain functions weren't geared to recognize. "Right well…..don't tell anyone about the Sekirei Plan."

After that last nervous statement, he quickly cut the connection and decided that he desperately needed more information on these two.

Naruto looked over at where Akitsu was still enjoying the headscratching like a satisfied cat and spoke to her. "So, how about that rematch Akitsu?"

"Ah….." Akitsu started but didn't finish, being far too busy with the petting.

"What, you too chicken? Afraid you'll lose" He teased, privately amused by how distracted the girl was.

Xanna leaned down to whisper something in Akitsu's ear, making the ice Sekirei open her eyes and look at Naruto for a few seconds before speaking.

"…..Master is too much of a noob for me."

Naruto's taken aback look at hearing Akitsu trash talk him made Xanna chuckle in amusement. She'd have the girl trained to constantly mock her husband in no time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Xanna's eyebrow twitched with irritation as Naruto skipped over yet _another_ song on his recently compiled playlist for no particularly good reason. He'd long since familiarized himself with the use of computers and was even now downloading anything that happened to interest him, ranging from movies to video games and music. He wasn't going to be hacking anything any time soon, but he knew enough to do that much.

Deciding it was better to simply ignore her husband's antics, she focused on Akitsu instead. The ice Sekirei was still going around the hotel penthouse wearing nothing but PJ's and bathrobes and Xanna had decided that it was past time to make the girl something else to wear.

"What kind of clothing would you like to wear Akitsu?" She asked.

Akitsu blinked in apparent surprise at the question before replying. "Ah….whatever kind you want me to wear mistress."

Xanna sighed slightly, not even managing to feel irritated at the unhelpful response. She really should have expected that. "Akitsu, neither myself nor Naruto want a mindless doll. I want you to think this over and decide for yourself, ask my idiot husband if you need help using the computer to do research."

Alright, so Naruto's constant song skipping may be irritating her slightly more than she had previously thought.

"Oi, why am I being called an idiot this time?" Naruto demanded in protest.

"Because you constantly keep skipping the songs in your playlist. Why would you even put them in your playlist if you never listen to them?" She retorted.

"I don't know, it's like…I know that there are better songs in the playlist and I want to hear those, so I skip the others." Naruto explained.

"That makes no sense. If you like some of them better than others, then just remove the ones you don't like." Xanna shot down his logic.

"It's not that I don't like them, it's just that I like some of them better than others and I don't want to remove them because I want to listen to those too."

"Then stop skippping them!"

"I told you already, I'm skipping them because I want to listen to others first." He tried to explain in frustration.

"Then simply select those instead of playing a blind lottery with the random shuffling until you get to the one you want."

Naruto took a breath to make a counter argument and then suddenly deflated. "It's just not the same."

For just a moment, Xanna felt sorely tempted to throw a fireball at her husband's head. What kind of stupid reasoning was that?

During this entire byplay, Akitsu had been shuffling nervously and alternating between looking at the ground and glancing at Xanna while biting her lip slightly.

She was actually trying to muster the courage to say that she liked the way that Xanna was dressed and asking for something similar, but wasn't sure if that would be alright. She didn't know much about fashion but she preferred the more traditional style of Japanese dress as opposed to the modern, western influenced one. She also liked the white color, magatama decoration and wide sleeves of Xanna's highly customized kimono.

Still, both Naruto and Xanna had encouraged her to speak her mind and tell them what she wanted so maybe it would be alright if she asked for something like it…..

Once she was sure that the good natured bickering was finished and that she wouldn't be interrupting, she spoke up. "Ah…mistress, could I have something similar to yours?"

Xanna shifted her attention back to Akitsu and frowned thoughtfully. "You like what I'm wearing?"

Akitsu nodded, silently relieved to see that the horned woman did not appear offended and waited patiently for her response.

Xanna considered what she could create for the ice Sekirei without it being a complete copy of her own clothing style. Somewhat fond of the submissive girl she might be, but she wasn't going to have her walking about in the exact same style of clothing. Aside from the fact that she simply didn't want anyone to be dressed the same as she was, it would also be impractical. Her customized kimono should slide right off her shoulders according to physics, the only reason it didn't was because it was kept in place by her power, but a different style of kimono was certainly not a problem to make.

Akitsu remained still as the horned woman inspected her with a contemplative look on her face for a few minutes, fighting down the urge to fidget under the scrutiny.

"Here, try this on." Xanna finally said and handed her a bundle of white and blue clothing.

Without hesitation, Akitsu stepped out of the bathrobe she had been wearing and put on the offered clothing. Or, she tried to at least. She had some trouble figuring out how to tie the obi properly since she'd never worn anything of the sort and needed some help from Xanna to do it, but other than that it was not a big deal.

Looking at herself in a full length mirror, Akitsu smiled ever so slightly. It was a very pretty kimono in a blue colors, decorated with white snowflakes and a much deeper blue obi. It showed a good deal of cleavage as her prodigiously large breasts made it impractical and slightly uncomfortable to cover them completely, not to mention that Xanna felt that her husband would no doubt appreciate the view. She rather liked it herself to be completely honest.

It was the nicest thing Akitsu had ever worn, but the fact that it had been made specifically for her by Xanna was much more important than the beauty and comfort of the garment.

"Looking good Akitsu, it suits you." Naruto complimented with a grin, causing Akitsu's cheeks to go pink.

"Of course it suits her, I made it after all." Xanna added haughtily.

Naruto rolled his eyes at that and smirked. "Of course, because you are a goddess and heaven forbid that anything you do is wrong or sub-standard."

"Don't be ridiculous husband," She retorted with false derision, hiding a grin at the old running gag. "I _am_ Heaven."

"Well I can't argue with that….." He said back slyly and blatantly looked her over.

Akitsu payed close attention as the air became noticeably sexually charged with her two masters giving off low growls and staring at each other like predators that were about to leap in for the kill. She flinched slightly when they crashed into each other with a violence that she'd never seen from either one before and fretted as she contemplated trying to stop them with her ice powers.

Her worry abated once it became obvious that they weren't fighting so much as ripping each other's clothes off and maneouvering towards the bedroom. Now that the worry was gone however, longing replaced it. Her first experience with sex had been wonderful and Naruto had already made sure that she wasn't in any pain from losing her virginity and she really wanted to join in. If sex with just one of her masters had been so good, then she could only imagine that it would be even better with both, but once again she wasn't sure if they would be annoyed by her intrusion.

_If you ever want to join us then you will need to show some backbone_,_ If you cannot muster your courage then you will not be allowed to sleep with Naruto again either._

Xanna's voice in her mind jolted her out of the miniature funk she'd fallen into and caused her to titter in indecision for a moment before her sleepy expression hardened ever so slightly in resolve.

Making her way to the bedroom and opening the door, she immediately saw that Naruto had apparently succeeded in pinning his wife down and was already thrusting into her forcefully. With just a final moment of hesitation, she entered and approached, hoping that they would accept her joining them.

Naruto's momentary inattention when he noticed her was all Xanna needed to turn the tables and pin him instead.

Akitsu didn't even get the chance to mourn the tragic death of her new kimono as it was shredded before Xanna planted her directly on Naruto's face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**There we go, my next crossover attempt. Fortunately, it is much easier to research the Sekirei universe than it is the DC one, so even if I don't know something, it isn't a huge problem to find out :P.**

**Do feel free to review and tell me what you think, it would be preferable even.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Nothing much to say this time :P. I've already answered any questions through PM's unless they were somehow plot related, so there's nothing left to do but hope you enjoy the new chapter.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Akitsu sighed with minor unhappiness at her current situation. She was currently clutching one of Naruto's hands while Xanna slept three quarters of the way on top of him.

That was not at all the cause of her unhappiness, not even close. The problem was that she'd woken up too early and now her bladder was telling her to get up and empty it, when all she wanted to do was stay there and just bask in the fact that she had a place to belong. Right now, she envied her masters for the fact that they apparently had no need of bathrooms. She'd certainly never seen either of them use one at least.

With another quiet sigh, she conceded to the demands of her bladder and padded into the bathroom. Akitsu supposed that she had only herself to blame for getting excited and waking up early, but she hadn't been able to help it. Naruto had suggested taking her to a movie theater since she'd never been to one before and Xanna had agreed to it as long as they brought along sufficient quantities of ice cream.

When Naruto had picked her up at that park, Akitsu hadn't expected that they would just be doing things that were so…_normal_. She'd expected guard duty, following orders, Sekirei battles and being used to fulfill her Ashikabi's juvenile fantasy of sleeping with multiple women.

Instead of that, she was playing fun video games, getting invited to watch movies, seeing her masters tear the entire Sekirei plan apart just because they had other plans and she could join in on their bedroom activities if she wanted to and was willing to play by their rules.

She certainly had no problems with their rules, it had been lots of fun. Especially the chains, she had really liked those. Maybe she should ask mistress to put some chains on her next kimono?

Akitsu contemplated the idea for a minute before shaking her head silently. That would be just tacky.

When she returned to the bedroom, she saw that Naruto had layed the arm that she'd been cuddling across Xanna's thigh.

Akitsu pouted slightly at the fact that she wouldn't be able to hold that arm anymore. After a moment of consideration, she decided to lay down on the other side instead. Carefully moving the mane of beautifully shining white hair, she pressed herself against Xanna's back and sighed contently. This was actually even better,

Unknown to her, Xanna had woken up as soon as her hair had been touched and smirked at how much of a cuddler Akitsu was. Good thing that she didn't sweat, or else being sandwiched between her husband and the ice sekirei would have gotten uncomfortable real fast.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ah…..master, I don't understand. Why did he do that?" Akitsu asked quietly. She'd been told to ask if she didn't understand something about the movie and the actions of the main antagonist just now made no sense to her.

Naruto leaned over to explain it to her. He'd figured that she would probably have trouble understanding the movie at certain points due to being unfamiliar with every aspect of technology or certain societal norms. It didn't bother him and it was interesting to note that she seemed to have a somewhat skewed view of relationships. He'd learned enough during the course of the movie that he was starting to become rather upset with the people at MBI, not to mention suspicious of their motives.

On the other side of him, Xanna continued to destroy another tub of ice cream at a rate that would make a calory obsessed teenager cringe in horror.

And then suddenly, he felt the back of his seat being kicked rather rudely.

"Hey asshole, some of us are trying to enjoy the movie. Could you shut the hell up? And tell your cosplay girlfriend to stop chewing so loudly."

Both Naruto and Xanna froze for a moment and then stood up to their full, imposing height to cast immolating glares at the teenager that had just spoken up, no doubt trying to impress the girl next to him.

The teen in question(along with the girl he was with) instantly broke into a cold sweat at the twin glares and tried to sink as far as possible into his seat .

"The only reason that I haven't ripped your heart out yet is because it would cause a panic and I want to finish this movie, but if you so much as move a muscle again, I _will_ do it." Xanna stated in such a matter of fact tone that there was no choice but to believe it.

The teenager was too scared to even nod, though it would have made no difference since both Naruto and Xanna had already sat back down.

Meanwhile, Akitsu was silently fuming, though you'd be hard pressed to notice that due to her lack of expression. How dare that boy kick her master's seat and insult him? And how dare he say that mistress was chewing too loudly? Master was just being kind by explaining things to her and mistress hadn't been eating any louder than dozens of other people with their popcorn.

Feeling as if the boy had gotten off too lightly, she indulged in some petty vengeance by lowering the temperature around him by a considerable margin.

Soon, the boy was trying to keep control of his shivering and failing at it. He was tempted to simply escape out of the theater, but he was quite honestly too scared to move, fearing that even leaving would constitute as 'moving a muscle'. When the movie ended about forty five minutes later, he and his girlfriend were among the first ones up, though he needed some help moving since he was suffering the early stages of hypothermia at that point.

"That was rather mean of you Akitsu." Xanna commented. "Good girl."

Akitsu blushed slightly, pleased by the compliment.

"Come on, lets get out of here before she decides to freeze everyone for getting in our way." Naruto teased.

Xanna was struck with inspiration and started whispering a suggestion into Akitsu's mind before Naruto even finished speaking. She was fairly sure that Akitsu would be the type to go along with it.

"But master, Xanna-sama said I was a good girl. Don't I get a reward." Akitsu asked plaintively after a moment of silence.

"What kind of reward would you like?" Naruto asked bemusedly.

Instead of answering, Akitsu stuck her hand into his pants.

"Oh, I see." He said with a grin at her boldness. "Are you sure you want to do it right here?"

"Master…chicken?" Akitsu taunted, though it sounded a bit strange because her tone remained unchanged.

Xanna couldn't help snickering when she heard Akitsu's best attempt at a taunt. The girl was coming along just fine, but she definitely needed to expand her range of tonal inflection.

Naruto gaped at her for a moment and then he started chortling. Akitsu could call him master all she wanted, but he was going to see her becoming a functional and independent person whether she liked it or not and this was a good sign. If she still wanted to stick around and play at being his and Xanna's slave after that, then she was welcome to do so, but she _would_ be capable of emotional independence even if it took him years to teach it to her.

But that was for the future, right now there was a challenge to be answered. "Very well then, if you want it right here, then I'll give it to you right here."

Not everyone had left the theater yet, but being the utterly shameless bastard that he was, Naruto didn't give a damn about that as he bent Akitsu over the seat in front of him and hiked up her kimono. It was fortunate that she had the same aversion to underwear as he and Xanna, which made things a bit easier.

"Sir, ma'am…could you please stop doing that?" An incredibly awkward looking young man who looked as if it was his job to clean the room when everyone left asked, having come into the room shortly after Naruto and Akitsu had gotten started.

"We'll stop when we're finished. Don't worry, it shouldn't take more than ten or fifteen minutes." Naruto answered over Akitsu's stifled moaning, feeling no shame at all.

Xanna snickered when his nerve broke and he fled the room with his face practically on fire.

Several minutes later, a trio of security guards entered the room, looking just as awkward as the young man from earlier.

Both Naruto and Xanna smothered a laugh when they overheard them talking about how to approach, catching words such as 'disgraceful', 'public indecency' and even 'the moral decay of society'.

Finally, the oldest of them approached with the other two as backup and adressed Naruto. Though Xanna had to wonder what these three thought they could do even if they believed the horns and claws were just cosplay. Naruto was a very big man with obviously powerful muscle definition and the three of them were just out of shape security guards.

"I'm going to have to insist that you stop immediately, you're committing a crime and police are already on their way." He said firmly. Privately, he was wondering how the hell this man even managed to get into the theater dressed like that.

"The more you bother them, the longer it's going to take." Xanna pointed out reasonably. "How do you expect him to finish in time for the police to get here if he has to keep talking to a flabby, balding middle aged man?"

"There's no need for insults ma'am." The aforementioned middle aged security guard said back, suppressing the urge to self consciously suck in his gut and run a hand over his receding hairline.

"Do I look like a ma'am to you?" Xanna demanded.

"Errr….no?" Was the nervous answer from the suddenly scared security guard. He had no idea what it was, but something was telling him that this horned woman was even more dangerous than the horned man, not to mention that at close range, those horns and fangs didn't look fake at all and the eyes looked much too real to be contacts.

"Just…leave." Xanna sighed. "Talking to you is giving me the urge to set someone on fire."

She knew that he was just doing his job and not _trying_ to annoy her, but he was annoying her nonetheless.

There were days when she missed performing a few random acts of destructive violence as a form of stress relief, but she had worked too hard to get control of herself to go back to taking out her irritation on everything around her. She was not that weak willed anymore. She'd take her irritation out on Naruto's balls later, that way they could both have fun.

Wisely, the three security guards decided to do as they were told. Let the police deal with these three, it wasn't as if they were going anywhere apparently.

Just shy of ten minutes later, Naruto had already shot his load into Akitsu and a team of police officers were entering the room.

"Alright, lets go down to the station." The woman in charge said, suppressing a sigh. Why did she get all the crazies? Just the other day, she'd had to answer a call about a couple of young women throwing lightning around on the streets and now this crazy bunch of foreigners decides that a movie theater was a great place to have sex.

"Pass, we were just about to go back to our hotel." Naruto replied flippantly.

"You committed a crime, so I have to take you down to the station. You can't just 'pass'." The policewoman retorted sarcastically.

"Sekirei business police girl, you can direct your complaints and paperwork to Hiroto Minaka." He said back spontaneously, figuring that the police had been informed of the Sekirei and told to stay away from them.

"Fine then, just get out and don't do it again." The policewoman bit out with a scowl, confirming Naruto's guess. She hated having to let obvious law breakers go, but the crazy MBI president owned most of the city at this point and she knew that she'd lose her job if she meddled with his oh so important plans.

And no, she wasn't bitter about that at all.

"Ah…..mistress." Akitsu said quietly with an embarrassed blush and shuffle, drawing everyone's attention.

"What is it?" Xanna asked curiously.

"I'm leaking."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ten minutes later, Naruto was still smirking to himself as they walked back to the hotel. Scandalizing all the prudes just never got old and it also amused him to think that Minaka was probably going to be receiving a strongly worded complaint from the police about the incident.

Akitsu was walking next to him, holding one of his hands. She would have liked to hold both his and Xanna's hands, but the horned woman was not much for holding hands in the first place and she didn't think that they'd let her walk in the middle anyway.

What they'd done just now had been strangely exciting for her despite the slight embarrassment she'd felt when people had started coming to bother them. Maybe next time, they would be able to do something like that without getting caught? She'd have to ask later.

Xanna was horny and intended to rape her husband as soon as they got back to the hotel. The only reason that she hadn't just teleported all three of them back already was because of the distraction that was going to be making itself known any second now. They had been following them ever since the movie theater after all. She'd even made sure that all the people had cleared the street so that they would just get on with it already.

"Gravity Hammer!"

Naruto cocked his head curiously at the girl that had just tried to swing a truly massive hammer at Akitsu's head, the head of which was now being held still by his hand. It had been swung by a light brown haired girl in a modest white dress who was much too small for her chosen weapon, though judging by the feel of her, she was a Sekirei, which would explain it.

Akitsu had noticed their tail as well, but had been cautioned to not react to it, so she just moved back a bit to give Naruto some room.

"Why is a cute girl like you going around trying to kill her sister?" He asked mildly, more focused on trying to unravel the tangled mess of emotions that he could sense from her than anything else. She felt like a roiling mass of negative emotions that were being kept bottled up by feelings of love and affection for the thug-ish looking guy in the green pullover that was watching from a short distance away. There was something seriously wrong with that, because there was no way that she could possibly be feeling love with that much negativity boiling just under the surface.

"I….my Ashikabi….s-she's a Sekirei." The girl stammered incoherently, now feeling very scared of this man that had been able to block her strongest attack with one hand as if it was nothing. She barely registered the fact that he'd called the Sekirei with the forehead tattoo her sister.

"Yashima, you stupid bitch! Stop talking and kill him!" The hollering of the unsavoury looking guy made the now named Yashima flinch as if she'd been struck.

"I-I can't move my hammer Ashikabi-sama." She said fearfully and tugged on her hammer to no effect.

"Worthless slut." He spat derisively, pulling out a small pocket knife and rushing at Naruto with it.

Akitsu tensed with the instinctive desire to protect Naruto, but Xanna's hand on her shoulder stopped her.

Naruto didn't bother moving and kept his chest wide open, knowing exactly what would happen when the idiot tried to stab him. He'd already deduced the situation when the idiot had opened his mouth for the first time and he wasn't feeling very merciful.

The knife hit just off center on his stomach and very much contrary to the expectations of Junichi Tanigawa, completely failed to penetrate the skin, causing him to badly sprain his wrist due to the unexpected resistance and his amateurish knife hold.

His shout of pain was cut off when a large hand clamped around his jaw like a bear trap and lifted him into the air.

"Ashikabi-sama!" Yashima exclaimed in worry and looked ready to attack again.

"Sleep." Naruto commanded with a short glance at the girl, causing her to slump instantly. "Akitsu, be a dear and pick her up will you?"

"Yes master." The ice Sekirei said and immediately did as she was told.

With that taken care of, Naruto turned his attention back to the lowlife he was dangling off the ground. "Have you ever wondered what it sounds like to hear your own skull cracking?"

Junichi let out a muffled scream and flailed wildly when the pressure on his jaw was increased to the point where he did indeed hear the bone cracking.

"Hold on for a moment husband." Xanna spoke and approached the dangling man.

"Something you wanted to know?" Naruto asked curiously, letting up on the pressure much to Junichi's relief.

"Indeed. I suspect that you'll be wanting to adopt that girl, so this is a good a time as any to see if I can break this 'winging' without killing her." She answered and nonchalantly stabbed her hand into the hanging man's guts.

About fifteen seconds of muffled screaming later, she withdrew it and healed the wound just enough to prevent extensive bleeding. "So that's how it works, how perverse."

"Did you actually need to stab him to find out how it works?" Naruto asked amusedly.

"Of course not, I just felt like stabbing him." Xanna replied with a scoff.

Naruto snickered, having expected something like that and once more turned to the recently stabbed man.

"Now, since you've been following us for quite a while already, I'm guessing that you must have been targeting us specifically. We've never met and we haven't been here long enough to have killed anyone you know which can only mean that someone paid you to do this _and that_ could only be Minaka, since he seems like the type that loses his shit if he doesn't control everything. How am I doing so far?" He asked his captive.

Junichi made desperate noises of agreement, hoping that he would be let go if he ratted out the guy that had payed him to attack the trio. Mind you, he didn't actually _know _if the money had come from Minaka, but at this point he would have admitted to being the tooth fairy if someone asked him.

It wasn't supposed to be like this! He'd been assured that the Sekirei with them was weak and that they were just a couple of strangely tall cosplayers.

"Well, you've heard your jaw cracking, but have you ever wondered what it was like to fly?" Naruto asked with a sinister grin.

Junichi went wide eyed with sudden fear of what this horned monster was intending to do. The way that he was eyeballing the MBI clock tower was not very comforting.

"I've broken the bond Naruto, feel free to dispose of the trash." Xanna said from her spot near Akitsu.

With much gusto, Naruto hurled his captive towards the tallest window of the MBI tower, figuring that it was probably Minaka's office window.

The city echoed with a scream of terror as Junichi Tanigawa flew through the air at far beyond terminal velocity. It didn't take more than a second before he crashed into the wall just under the window and exploded in an orgy of blood, shattered bone and pulverized organs, liberally painting the building crimson. The MBI clocktower now sported a large, omnidirectional bloodstain, while the shattered remains of Junichi Tanigawa slid out of the new indentation in the wall in a macabre mess that was only barely recognizable as a human corpse.

"You missed." Xanna stated flatly.

"I haven't had too much occasion to practice my human throwing technique." Naruto responded dryly. "I didn't count on his flailing throwing off my aim."

"Ah….fatality." Akitsu added.

Both Naruto and Xanna slowly turned to look at Akitsu, making her shuffle nervously before they started snickering and then full out laughing.

"Damn, that was a good one." Naruto said with a last chuckle. "Real nice Akitsu."

Akitsu flushed with pleasure. She hadn't been sure if her joke would be funny or not.

"Now we just have to teach you how to freeze someone solid and rip out their skull and spine with your bare hands." Xanna commented.

Naruto sweatdropped at his wife, fairly certain that there was no pressing need to teach Akitsu how to perform gruesome and bloody executions. "Lets not get carried away."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minaka just so happened to be in his office while this was going on and was observing the whole thing with MBI's satellite. Due to this, he had just enough time to realise that Naruto was looking towards his building when his office shuddered under the impact of a human body thrown with enourmous strength and his window was streaked with blood from the corpse of the Ashikabi that had impacted just beneath it.

He wiped a bit of sweat off his forehead when he realised that if that body had landed any higher, it would have likely killed him as well. Naruto couldn't have said 'I know what you did.' any clearer if he had written a sign.

He had bribed the abusive Ashikabi of #84 Yashima to attack them because he wanted to create a situation that would let him learn more about the horned duo and hopefully give him some kind of hint about how to control them or at least how dangerous they were. Yashima was a fairly weak Sekirei, meaning that her Ashikabi was a non-entity in the Sekirei Plan, which had made them expendable.

Well, it had certainly told him that they were hideously dangerous. There was no Sekirei that was even close to being that strong. More importantly, it told him that they would be entirely uncontrollable if they were willing to kill someone in broad daylight(or evening as the case may be) and in the middle of the street. Worse still, there had been no termination notification for Yashima, which could only mean that the horned woman whose name he still didn't know was capable of safely unwinging Sekirei.

To sum up, he had on his hands a pair of enourmously powerful beings that he knew nothing about and couldn't possibly hope to control. Frankly, he wasn't sure if it could get any worse.

"I believe I told you that I would rip off your fingers if you made any more threats and an assassination attempt counts, I wouldn't want to be called a liar after all." A horribly familiar female voice stated casually, making Minaka jump out of his chair in fright.

"How did you get in here?" He demanded harshly, his usual eccentric antics nowhere to be seen because of his surprise. He would also very much like to know how she was somehow able to be in two places at once, since according to his satellite she was still on the street.

"Wrong question, you should be asking what I'm going to do now that I _am_ here." Xanna said and began approaching the MBI president.

Minaka tried to lunge for the button that would call Disciplinary Squad, only to find himself thrown away from it by some invisible force. His mind raced feverishly for a way out of this situation when one hand was wrenched behind his back painfully and the sharp points of clawed digits were placed around his thumb.

"Wait, there is no need for this! I'm sure we could come to an agreement!" He tried to bargain desperately.

"We are already in agreement. I am going to do as I said I would and rip your fingers off and _you_ are going to scream loudly while I do it." Xanna responded uncooperatively and proceeded to rip off the thumb.

Minaka did indeed scream loudly, but he still tried to bargain in a desperate attempt to save the rest of his fingers. "Wait please, I have a lot that I could give you if you would just stop."

"Such as these Jinki things that I see in your mind?" Xanna revealed, causing the knot of terror in Minaka's gut to grow larger. "Yes I do believe I'll be taking them, along with the bodies of all the Sekirei that have been deactivated so far."

Minaka didn't even have time to consider just how badly his plans were ruined when she continued speaking. "But first, seven more fingers to go. I'll be leaving your pinkies alone in case you were wondering. Granted, it's mostly because I find the idea of you with just your pinky fingers amusing, but you need to appreciate the small things in life."

Minaka screamed again as his index finger was torn off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minaka had not been the only one watching through that satellite. In a room that could only be described as the wet dream of a computer nerd(secret, dark, lighted only by the glow of many monitors and pungent with the smell of food, sweat and perversion), a glasses wearing redhead was staring with incredulity at what had just happened.

Once she'd gotten over her shock at seeing the horned duo that had #07 following them around brutally kill an Ashikabi and take his Sekirei, she immediatelly started hunting down any information she could find on them.

And she found….absolutely nothing! The only piece of information that existed on them was a name used to sign into the hotel(The most expensive one in the city at that) and that wasn't guaranteed to be accurate by a long shot.

Matsu, Sekirei #02 made a noise of frustration as every single attempt at finding any information on them turned up nothing. Any internet search on 'horned people' predictably turned up only results of demons and various other mythological stuff that was no help at all in clarifying the situation.

Some time later, Miya was also staring at the screen with surprise and confusion.

"You don't know anything about this either, huh Miya-tan?" Matsu asked with her usual childish use of honorifics.

Asama Miya, landlady of Izumo Inn and Sekirei #01, known to very few as the Sekirei Pillar, pursed her lips and stared thoughtfully at the images on the screen.

"No Matsu, I do not. That level of physical strength alone is far beyond what I've ever seen a Sekirei possess and they clearly don't consider Minaka a threat if they're willing to openly provoke him like this. They are likely as foreign to this planet as we are though." She said consideringly.

"What do you think they want with the Sekirei?"

"I cannot say, but on the surface of it, it does not appear to be malicious. I suppose we will know once I speak to them."

"You're going to go talk to them?" Matsu asked in surprise.

"It's a bit far for a humble landlady like myself to go, but I expect that they will come to Izumo Inn eventually uhuhuhuhu."

Matsu sweatdropped as she stared after the retreating form of the purple haired woman and muttered to herself. "Humble landlady my ass."

A miasma of terror began to exude from Miya and formed into the infamous Hannya mask as she stopped and turned around with a pleasant smile. "What was that Matsu? I could swear that I just heard you cussing, but that can't be right, because foul language is forbidden in Izumo Inn."

"Matsu-tan is sorry!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto gently laid Yashima into the bed and turned towards the silent Akitsu. "Could you stay with her tonight? She's going to be scared and it would probably make her feel better to if you were there when she waked up."

Akitsu nodded, but her mind was on something else entirely.

"You're wondering if it's possible to fix you so that you could be winged aren't you?" Naruto asked, feeling quite sure that he was correct.

She nodded again, unable to prevent the hopeful look that flittered across her face.

"Come sit with me." He said and went to the couch.

Doing as she was told, Akitsu sat down next to him and fixed him with an expectant look. She was a bit confused as to why he looked amused, but it fled her mind when he pulled her closer so that she was half way lying on him.

"You'd like either me or Xanna to wing you wouldn't you?"

"Yes master."

"We can restore your ability to be winged, but we can't wing you."

"But why?" Akitsu did her best to keep the disappointment from her voice, but wasn't entirely successful.

"Tell me what you know about the winging process."

"Ah….when an Ashikabi and Sekirei kiss, the Sekirei becomes bound to and must obey the commands of their Ashikabi." Akitsu explained her very limited knowledge of the process as best she could.

"Don't you find that rather strange? What kind of race is forced into submission when they kiss someone?" Naruto asked pointedly.

Akitsu's forehead creased in slight confusion. She'd never really thought about it and it had never seemed strange to her. She knew that humans had nothing like that, but Sekirei weren't human.

"….That is the way of the Sekirei." She responded uncertainly, no longer sure if that was true.

"No, it isn't. Minaka changed you all before he released you, changing the nature of the winging into what it is now. The winging was meant to happen when a Sekirei finds a person that they love and want to bond with and it was meant to be initiated by both parties, forcing the bond on a Sekirei should have been impossible and a single Ashikabi having multiple Sekirei should also have been impossible. The winging as it is now is a perversion of something that should have been beautiful."

Xanna had found all of this and more in Minaka's skull and relayed it all to him. A genius the man might be, but he was also completely insane. Limiting the Sekirei's power had been a wise move and from a certain point of view, even the changes to the winging had been smart at the time, but he'd taken things much too far. Minaka was already quite high on Naruto's to-do list, but he'd been effectively neutered when Xanna had taken away the Jinki and the bodies of the deactivated Sekirei.

He'd kill the man later, it might be amusing to grind his plans into dust one piece at a time.

"But….why can't you wing me?" Akitsu asked hesitantly once she'd processed the shock.

"Xanna and I are already bonded, there isn't any room for another. The bond between Sekirei and Ashikabi as it is now is a bond between master and slave no matter how flowery anyone describes it, which is why multiple Sekirei can be bonded to a single Ashikabi. The bond between me and Xanna is a bond between equals and by its very nature does not allow a third person to join." Naruto explained.

"Ah….I don't need to be equal." Akitsu offered hopefully.

"Nice try Akitsu, but that still wouldn't work even if one of us wanted to do it." He answere dryly. "Once we learn how to do it safely, we're going to restore the Sekirei to how they were supposed to be, you included. When that happens, I'd like to see you find someone that you could love and bond with as an equal. You're welcome to stay with us if you like, but we can't give you what you want."

Akitsu was disappointed that she wouldn't be winged, but she was determined to stay exactly where she was. In the end, nothing had changed and she was happy with things as they were, wings or no. She wasn't going to give up this happiness and security even if she could get her wings with someone else.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So, are you going to tell me why and how an Ashikabi ended up splattered across the building and you lost eight fingers?" Sahashi Takami, MBI head researcher demanded unsympathetically of her boss and much to her regret, the father of her children.

Minaka had been getting steadily more obsessed with his insane Sekirei Plan over the years and nothing she did seemed to limit the damage he was intent on doing. Instead of trying to protect the Sekirei, he had become hellbent on sacrificing them all in an attempt to bring about some nebulous 'New Age of the Gods'.

The only reason that Minaka was still alive was because she'd been on the way up to his office before he'd started losing fingers, otherwise he might well have bled to death before help could arrive.

Truth be told, she thought it served him right for his schemes to blow up in his face for once and didn't feel at all sorry for him, nor was she upset about the death of #84's Ashikabi, as the man had been scum of the highest order.

She was far more interested in the fact that Yashima hadn't been deactivated by his death.

"A pair of unknows that do not play by the rules have suddenly appeared Takami-chan." Minaka proclaimed, suppressing the urge to gesticulate with his hands. No reason to cause himself any more pain than necessary, he would just have to wait for the doctors to fit him with cybernetic fingers. It was an experimental technology and it would never be as good as the real thing but it was better than nothing.

"Don't call me Takami-chan you ass." She snapped and kicked at his hospital bed to shake it and make him yelp in pain as his injuries were jostled. "Now explain what happened."

Minaka did so, knowing that she would find out about it soon enough anyway, or most of it at least. He'd kept it from her so far, wanting to find out more about the two anomalies before he informed her so that he could better predict and control her actions, but there was no point hiding it now.

Takami massaged the bridge of her nose, feeling a migraine coming on due to her sheer irritation at his stupidity. He had somehow managed to earn himself the anger of what were obviously two massively powerful, remorseless killers. Even worse, they had no idea just _how_ powerful they were or what their motives were aside from having an interest in the Sekirei. The only thing that they did actually know was that they would react with extreme levels of violence to any action taken against them. Additionally, they had now lost all of the Jinki as well as the bodies of the Sekirei that had already been deactivated.

This was potentially worse than if Miya had decided that she didn't feel like playing nice anymore.

Still, there were some bright points to the situation. Clearly, they weren't intent on exterminating the Sekirei or causing random bloodbaths if their treatment of the unfortunate Akitsu and Yashima were any clue.

Their appparent ability to unwing a Sekirei was also quite shocking, but not unwelcome news to her. There were far too many Sekirei winged unwillingly by Ashikabi who only saw them as tools to be used.

In any case, the only point on which she agreed with Minaka was that they couldn't just be left alone, but she also didn't dare provoke them too much. The rest of the world was all too eager for a crack to open through which they could slip in and kidnap a few Sekirei to be used either for experimentation or breeding. Exactly the kind of crack that would appear if those two decided that MBI would look better if it was in pieces.

The question was, what could she do?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

At this point still unknown to just about everyone, the event had also attracted the attention of Karasuba.

The Black Sekirei didn't know who had done it or why they had done it, but she admired the beautiful brutality of it. The raw strength needed to throw a human hard enough that their body literally exploded under the force alone was enough to catch her interest.

Whoever had done this had just made themselves interesting to her and she would find them. Find them and fight them. It promised to be a glorious battle and she was bored of being MBI's watchdog.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Yashima woke up feeling….strange.

Usually, waking up was followed by the mixed emotions of love and fear for her Ashikabi, but there was none of that this time.

This time, that was absent along with the everpresent bond.

Without the bond keeping her negative emotions bottled up, they roared to the surface and took her completely by surprise so that she didn't even notice Akitsu laying next to her.

Akitsu herself was woken up when Yashima suddenly surged into a sitting position and looked around frantically for her hammer, wanting the reassurance of her weapon.

"Ah…..good morning." Akitsu said quietly.

"You! You're that Sekirei I attacked. Where am I? What happened to my Ashikabi." Yashima babbled, confused as to why the thought of her Ashikabi brought up only feelings of anger and fear.

"Naruto-sama killed your Ashikabi. You are in Naruto-sama and Xanna-sama's hotel room." Akitsu asnwered with a slight cocking of her head. She could see now why Naruto had asked her to stay with the freed Sekirei, the girl was a mess.

"He's dead?" Yashima was surprised by the relief in her own voice. Shouldn't she be feeling upset at the loss of her Ashikabi? "Wait, if he's dead then how am I still alive?"

"Xanna-sama unwinged you before Naruto-sama killed him."

"But it's impossible to unwing a Sekirei after they become winged." Yashima insisted. That was what they had always been told. Winging was supposed to be permanent.

"Naruto-sama and Xanna-sama are gods, they can do anything." Akitsu explained patiently.

"Gods?" Yashima repeated dubiously, privately thinking that this Sekirei had an Ashikabi with a massively oversized ego. Her own former Ashikabi had an undeservedly high opinion of himself too, just not this high. "Who are you anyway? We never introduced each other. I'm Yashima, #84."

"Ah….Akitsu, Sekirei #07."

"A single digit?" Yashima said in surprise. She'd been told that the Sekirei that she was to attack was weak, but a single digit was easily a lot more powerful than her. "So which one is your Ashikabi?"

"….Neither, I am a scrapped number, unwingable." Akitsu didn't really want to explain everything that Naruto had told her earlier, so she stuck with the old explanation. At the moment it was still true anyway.

Yashima sat down on the bed next to Akitsu and hugged her legs, memories of how terrible it had been to be winged by her abusive Ashikabi bubbling to the forefront of her mind. It hadn't seemed all that bad while she'd been winged, but now that she was free and not looking at Tanigawa through rose tinted glasses, it was horrible.

"I wish I'd been unwingable when I met that bastard." She muttered to herself bitterly, feeling dirty from the memories of the things he'd told her to do and which she had been more than willing to go along with.

"Ah…you are now. Xanna-sama made you unwingable." Akitsu said, managing to put some simpathy in her voice. Nothing like seeing someone else in a worse situation to appreciate the benefits of your own circumstances.

"But how?" Yashima asked in shock.

Akitsu merely cocked her head slightly and stared at her fellow Sekirei.

"Right, gods." Yashima said with a mutter, still not entirely sure she believed that.

"….You should speak to them." Akitsu said. She was not the person to speak to if you wanted explanations.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Naruto had fully explained the situation to her, Yashima was very angry. Not at him, but at Minaka and MBI. Because of their meddling she'd ended up winged by that abusive asshole and had only gotten out of it because she'd gotten lucky. She was looking forward to the day when her winging ability was fixed to the way it was supposed to be, but she was determined to make absolutely certain that any Ashikabi she picked in the future was one that was worth bonding to. It was a huge relief to hear that it would be her that would be initiating the winging next time instead of it being forced on her.

The only reason Tanigawa had even been able to forcibly wing her had been because MBI had drummed it into her head that she wasn't supposed to kill humans, so she hadn't fought against him when he'd kissed her. It was just bad luck that he happened to be an Ashikabi since not all humans were capable of winging a Sekirei.

Still, one question nagged at her mind. "Why are you doing this? The Sekirei Plan has nothing to do with you and you say that you can't wing any Sekirei, but you're still collecting them. "

"Because it makes me happy to adopt a few little sisters and take care of them." Naruto explained with a grin.

Yashima continued to look sceptical. She hadn't been this distrustful when MBI had first released her, but her bad experience with Tanigawa had instilled a lot of cynicism in her.

"…..Master is a pervert." Akitsu asserted with a nod.

Xanna snorted in amused agreement. Akitsu was rapidly becoming the queen of one-liners, most of them aimed at Naruto.

Xanna was pleased.

"You're getting awfully cheeky Akitsu." Naruto commented with a sweatdrop.

The ice Sekirei merely cocked her head and gave him an innocent look, which was remarkably effective when combined with her sleepy expression. It made him want to hug her.

"You say you're just doing this because you want to take care of the Sekirei, but you make her call you master?" Yashima asked disapprovingly.

"Make her?" Naruto asked back with an eyebrow raised in incredulity. "I can't make her stop."

Yashima looked at her fellow Sekirei, who continued to look innocent and began to get the feeling that Naruto was not the only pervert in the room. Shaking it off, she turned to the horned duo and asked another question. "Is that really all there is to it? You just got invovled in the Sekirei Plan because it makes you happy to take care of a few girls?"

"We got involved because we wanted to. There is only so much time you can spend on a deserted island doing nothing but sleeping, fighting and sexing before you get bored."

"Sexing is not a word master." Akitsu interjected, flushing at her own boldness.

"Did you just interrupt me to make a wisecrack?" He asked incredulously.

"Ah, yes?" Akitsu said back uncertainly, old doubts coming back and making her think that she had gone too far.

"I'm so proud." Naruto said, wiping away a fake tear.

"So am I, keep it up Akitsu." Xanna added.

A miniature smile came to Akitsu's face for a few moments before it smoothed back into her standard sleepy expression, but she was still smiling on the inside. Akitsu decided that she liked it when they were proud of her, it gave her the odd urge to stick her chest out proudly and made her feel warm inside.

"Anyway, as I was saying…there is no more Sekirei Plan, we've already wrecked it and Minaka is only alive because we think it might be funny to see what he'll do now that Xanna ripped off eight of his fingers and took away most of the stuff that made the Sekirei Plan work."

"You ripped off his fingers?" Yashima asked incredulously, staring at the horned woman.

"Oh yes, my only regret is that I did not think to record the event. His screaming was most amusing." Xanna confirmed with a smirk.

"So….now what?" The hammer wielding Sekirei asked uncertainly after a moment of silence. The horned woman was scary.

"Why are you asking me?" Naruto asked back, amused. "You can do whatever you want."

Surprised by the response, Yashima realised that she had no idea what to do with herself. The Sekirei Plan had given her direction, but without it she had nothing. The only thing she was any good at was swinging her hammer around and following the orders of her Ashikabi, which she didn't have anymore. Without the Sekirei Plan which told her to fight her fellow Sekirei and without an Ashikabi, she felt lost.

"You can stay here with us for as long as you need a place to stay. You'll be protected and provided for." Naruto offered, knowing that the girl had nothing but her hammer. It was a nice hammer, but it wouldn't help her get food or a place to sleep. Not without turning to crime anyway and Yashima didn't seem like the criminal type.

"I…..thank you." She said quietly. "What would you want in return for this?"

"Hugs and onii-chan?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Takami fought down the nervous urge to start smoking as the elevator made its way up to the penthouse where the horned duo lived.

After much deliberation, she had come to the conclusion that the wisest course of action would be to approach them openly and simply talk to them. There was far too much that could go wrong if she tried any subterfuge and they decided to react with the same lack of restraint as before.

The creepy way that the door swung open all by itself as she approached it did nothing to settle her nerves.

Steeling herself, she entered the room with an air of confidence despite the fact that she felt rather shaken by the fact that she was obviously expected despite having made no appointment.

"Ah…..Takami-san." Akitsu greeted. This was one of the only MBI researchers that had always been nice.

"Akitsu." Takami returned. "Doing well I hope?"

"Ah…yes. Master and mistress have been treating me well."

"I'm glad to hear it." Takami was not at all surprised by the submissive way that Akitsu spoke of the two. The ice Sekirei had always been very deferential.

She forced herself not to react to the sight of the seven Jinki that had not very long ago been in MBI's most secure vault lying carelessly on the table as if they were no more than pretty trinkets.

"Akitsu? Is someone there?" Yashima called and entered the room. "Oh, Takami-san."

"Yashima." The researcher in her desperately wanted to take Yashima back to the lab and investigate her miraculous unwinging, but she kept that firmly in check. She didn't want to end up as a second bloodstain on the MBI clocktower in case this 'Uzumaki Naruto' took offense to that even if she had only good intentions.

The floor shook slightly as someone heavy landed on their feet right behind her, making Takami freeze in surprised fright. Slowly, she turned around and found herself facing a muscular bare chest.

Craning her head upwards, she saw that the chest belonged to the very man that she had come to speak with, a man that was currently aiming a grin full of sharp teeth at her, clearly amused by the fact that he'd made her jump.

"Uzumaki-san." She greeted.

"Sahashi Takami, MBI head researcher and the woman in charge of the Sekirei Plan….supposedly, though in reality not in charge of it at all." Naruto greeted back, still grinning.

"And how would you know that?" Takami said back, giving no hint of just how unnerved she was. That unnaturally intense slit eyed gaze was making her feel like a mouse and his intimidating size wasn't helping to lessen that feeling.

"My wife violated Minaka's mind while she was tearing off his fingers. We know everything that he knows, including the fact that he still sporadically wets his bed. The last time was four months ago in case you were wondering."

"I see." Now Takami was even more unnerved. Minaka hadn't mentioned any mind reading, though in hindsight she should have known it would be something like that. How else would they have known of the Jinki? "May I ask where your wife is?"

"Napping, she does that sometimes."

"O….kay."

"Why are you here Takami-chan?"Naruto asked, deliberately using the cutesy honorific.

Takami scowled, somehow knowing that he'd called her that with the express purpose of irritating her.

"I had some questions I wanted to ask you."

"By all means." He said magnanimously.

"First, I'd like to know what you are."

Naruto grinned at the predictable question. "Horny."

"And apparently fond of bad puns." Takami shot back.

"Very fond of them." He agreed.

"….Master is a pervert." Akitsu offered helpfully.

"Thank you Akitsu, it sure is nice to have you around so that people know I'm a pervert right away." Naruto said dryly.

"You say that as if it isn't obvious onii-chan." Yashima added. "You walk around barechested all the time and take every opportunity to make a lewd statement."

"Alright, but what species are you?" Takami persisted, trying to get the conversation back on track, making a note of the way Yashima addressed the man. It did a lot to calm her down to see that he was treating the unwinged Sekirei as a little sister rather than as a new acqusition.

"Human ascended to divinity." Naruto answered, eagerly taking in the incredulous and disbelieving expression. It never got old.

"You think you're a god?" Takami asked, her tone full of incredulity. And she'd thought that Minaka was insane.

Instead of answering, Naruto pointed a hand out the window.

Takami looked in that direction and felt her mouth going dry when the previously cloudless day became a violent thunderstorm, complete with huge lightning bolts and deafening peals of thunder and then it suddenly dispersed as if nothing had happened.

"I could also make some portentous statements about the world suffering two million years of darkness under a black sun and a red moon if you'd like." He offered.

"No, that's ok." Takami said faintly, still staring outside, which was once again a perfect, sunny day.

"Any more questions?"

Shaking off her shock, she focused back on the matter at hand. "What is your interest in the Sekirei?"

"Most of them are just so cute and I like having little sisters to play with."

"Uh huh." She said sceptically. "What about Akitsu then?" What kind of man sees a dozens of highly beautiful, busty women and thinks 'little sisters'?

"Akitsu is a pervert." Naruto explained.

"...Master is so mean." The ice Sekirei said in her defense. "He likes to put me in chains and spank me."

"Notice how she never said that she _isn't_ a pervert." Naruto pointed out dryly. "Or that she likes the chains even more than me."

"Riiight, last question." Takami drawled, wanting to get away from what was obviously a room full of perverts as soon as possible. "Could you please not destroy MBI? We won't be able to protect the Sekirei from the rest of the world without it."

"Why the sudden concern for the Sekirei Takami-chan? Weren't you one of those that advocated the changes to the winging?" Naruto asked with amusement, cocking his head at the scientist. "Guilty conscience?"

Taking a deep breath to center herself again, more because she was shaken at the reminder that he knew everything than at the annoying honorific. It had been easy to forget that when he wasn't mentioning it. "I thought it was the right thing to do at the time. It wasn't and I want to protect the Sekirei from any further harm."

"Don't worry yourself too much Takami-chan, I'll keep the Sekirei safe from being kidnapped and eventually I'll unwing those that are bound to….unworthy Ashikabi. Of course, I'll probably also kill quite a few of them since I already know that not all of the Sekirei are good people."

"Right, well…..that's all I guess." All in all, Takami was pleased with the way things had gone. Naruto had been reasonable and friendly and he didn't have any particularly nefarious purposes in mind. None that he was willing to share at least, though she sorely doubted her ability to do anything about it if he did have any nefarious purposes. The only point of worry was the fact that he never said that he _wouldn't_ destroy MBI, but that was honestly a minor issue compared to everything else even if she did end up losing her job .

"Feel free to drop by again Takami-chan, it's been a while since I've slept with a MILF." Naruto said when she was almost out the door.

Takami froze again before moving forward stiffly, her eyebrow twitching in restrained anger. She wasn't sure if that was a veiled hint that he knew about her children and was making a threat or if it was honestly just a lewd proposition. Either way it was pissing her off.

Once the woman was gone, Naruto turned to the two Sekirei and announced. "Well, now that that's over with, lets go."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Are you sure this is a good idea onii-chan?" Yashima asked worriedly from her place on Naruto's shoulders.

"Of course it isn't a good idea Yashima, if it was a good idea, then it wouldn't be any fun. I'll keep you safe though, don't worry." Naruto answered and turned towards Akitsu, who was standing next to him on the roof of the hotel. "Ready Akitsu?"

"Ah…..yes." The ice Sekirei confirmed. She was wearing casual pants and a T-shirt instead of her usual kimono today. The kimono would get in the way too much.

With a countdown, they threw themselves over the edge, creating a slippery path of ice under their feet as they went, sliding across the Shinto Teito skyline.

Yashima released a terrified scream right into Naruto's ears for a few seconds until she got used to it and started enjoying herself.

Unfortunately, they had no more than fifteen seconds of time to enjoy it before Akitsu's ice path gave off an ominous creaking sound and broke under its own weight.

Naruto swiftly grabbed the ice Sekirei into a bridal style hold and melted the falling ice into water so that it didn't kill anyone under it. They'd get a nasty cold street shower though.

"Damn you physics, always ruining the fun." He swore. He'd forgotten That Akitsu couldn't make her ice unbreakable the way that he could.

"Ah….I like this better." Akitsu admitted as they glided across the city.

"You would." Yashima commented from Naruto's back.

The continued this for several minutes longer, receiving many shocked exclamations from the people under them until a large chunk of the city had an ice path over it.

All three of them took note of the three Sekirei jumping across the rooftops in an effort to catch them and Naruto eventually slid to a stop on the rooftop of a building that was fairly close to their hotel, willing the ice to melt and drenching a lot of people in ice cold water.

Ah, the indignant anger radiating from the people below at this instant, it was glorious.

When the three Sekirei that had been chasing them caught up, both Akitsu and Yashima stiffened in recognition.

"Ah, you must be the infamous Disciplinary Squad." Naruto said as a greeting, assessing the threat level of the three females.

The pink haired one was giving him a strangely Sakura vibe for some reason, but she wasn't even close to being as dangerous as his old teammate. The bandaged one with the claws was at a similar level.

The long haired one with the sword was a lot more dangerous than them.

"We are." Karasuba confirmed. "You wouldn't happen to be the guy that gave the MBI tower its wonderful new coat of paint would you?"

"I am indeed. Are you here to make something of it Little Crow?" Naruto asked with a grin.

Karasuba gave a menacing little chuckle that concealed just how irritated she was by the nickname. "You've got some balls to call me, the Black Sekirei, Little Crow. I'm going to enjoy cutting them off."

"Girls, go back home without me. Looks like Karasuba wants to play too and it would be rude deny her when she obviously put in so much effort to track me down, and don't worry, I'll be fine." Naruto said to Akitsu and Yashima.

They looked worried for a moment, before recalling what he was and started roof hopping away after a simple nod.

"Good girls."

"Not very nice of you to lie to them." Karasuba commented after they were out of earshot. She had no interest in those two.

Naruto snickered, much to Karasuba's irritation and pleasure. On one hand, the fact that he was laughing at her pissed her off and on the other, it would make the fight even better.

"Come on then if you're so certain of yourself Little Crow." He taunted and summoned the Kusanagi to his hand, having left it at the hotel to give Yashima room to ride on his back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Yarr me hearties, the second chapter be here.**

**I felt the urge to make cliffhangers today, isn't that great?**

**Review pl0x?**


	3. Chapter 3

Karasuba carefully assessed her opponent as he stood confidently in front of her with that infuriating grin on his face.

He held his blade competently despite the seeming carelessness of it and his phsysique suggested strength, all about size, reach and power. In spite of that, he moved with a sense of control and fluidity that contradicted his brutish appearance.

He'd already demonstrated the power to summon his sword and ice. If he had two, then he could have more, unlike her who was limited to just her bladework. He was almost definitely more powerful than her.

Good, she had been dying of boredom surrounded by all these weaklings. With Yume gone and Miya pretending that she wasn't a killer, there was nobody to challenge her. She could already feel it, the blood pounding in her veins at the prospect of a battle against a powerful foe. Benitsubasa and Haihane had already been warned not to interfere no matter what happened, even if she was losing, even if she died. It had been so many years since she'd last had a battle worth the name and nobody was going to take it away from her.

Neither one of them had so much as moved yet, but she knew that the man before her was a beast. The predatory gleam as his eyes roved over her body let her know that he'd picked up on a hundred subtle tells about her just as she had done to him.

What excited her most of all was the fact that not the slightest shred of uncertainty or fear entered his eyes or body language. He was utterly certain that he was better than her. Whether he was or not, finding out would be glorious.

On the other side, Naruto had noted that she had grasped her blade in a two handed grip that it was meant to be used in instead of her usual lackadaisical one handed grip. She was taking this seriously.

Good.

This promised to be interesting, even if he would have to hold back a ridiculous degree.

Before they started though, there was something that he felt compelled to do.

"Is it just me or are you guys hearing the Mortal Kombat theme song too?" Haihane asked in confusion, looking around for the source of the music.

"I can hear it just fine, I just didn't know what it was." Benitsubasa said.

"Oi, Haihane." Naruto called out, gaining the bandaged claw user's attention. "You play Mortal Kombat?"

"Sure do." The Blue Sekirei confirmed cheerfully.

"You should come over sometime so we can play."

"Don't go making friends with the people who are going to kill you asshole!" Benitsubasa exploded.

Naruto blinked at her, surprised by the random burst of temper. Ignoring the pink haired one, he turned to Karasuba. "Is she always like this?"

"Pretty much." Karasuba answered, still keeping a wary eye on him. She had a feeling that he was trying to provoke her into attacking by starting a conversation with Haihane.

"It's almost like having Sakura back." Naruto sighed nostalgically. "She was angry a lot too and she had pink hair….and can't forget about the fact that she was flat as a board." Not as flat as Benitsubasa, but she didn't need to know that.

"You fucking bastard, I'll kill you!" Benitsubasa howled in fury while Haihane was nearly convulsing in laughter.

Too angry to remember Karasuba's previous instruction not to fight, she charged at Naruto with every intention of punching his lights out. The fact that the Mortal Kombat theme song was still playing without any apparent source didn't help her irritation.

Used to being the stronger fighter in any battle she went for a straight on attack, which Naruto had no problem catching head on and then using his greater size to manhandle her into a one handed submission hold with chains springing from his back to tie her down instantly.

"Aw, don't be like that, I bet your nipples are really sensitive, how about you let me lick them and find out?" He said teasingly, knowing that she would be easily provoked.

"Those are for Natsuo-sama you sick pervert!" She hollered and tried to wiggle out of the chains to no avail.

"From what I know of this Natsuo character, he's more likely to be interested in _my_ nipples than yours." Naruto mused and sat her down on his foot, preparing to launch her away. "Oh well, bye bye."

Karasuba and Haihane watched their temperamental teammate fly away with a scream for a moment before focusing back on Naruto, though Karasuba muttered 'idiot' under her breath.

"So, about that Mortal Kombat game….." Naruto prodded, once more looking at Haihane.

At this point Karasuba had just about enough of being patient and rushed at him, though much more carefully than Benitsubasa had done.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" She growled at him over their locked swords.

"Arara, what would that be?" He asked back, blinking innocently. "Setting up a game of Mortal Kombat with another player is a big deal for me you know. Akitsu won't play anything besides Sub-Zero and she's getting disturbingly good at it."

"I don't think video games are going to be your biggest problem after I cut your balls off." Karasuba retorted viciously and swung her blade again.

"It's decided then." Naruto said firmly. "You're going to become my friend."

"What the hell kind of logic is that!?" The Black Sekirei demanded over the clashing of steel and Haihane's chortling.

For the Blue Sekirei, this was hilarious. And the Mortal Kombat theme song was _still _playing in the background for this entire time.

"So far, every single woman that that has threatened to emasculate me has ended up becoming my friend, and this was before I became capable of growing them back. If you didn't want to be my friend then don't threaten to cut, tear off or otherwise remove my balls." Naruto reasoned. Granted, that list was mainly restricted to Tsunade and Sakura, but the point still stood.

"Are you even listening to yourself?" Karasuba demanded again, swinging at his legs at the same time.

Naruto jumped over the low blade and kicked out at her while in mid air, forcing Karasuba to dodge to the side as she was unable to bring her blade around fast enough.

"You know what? Nevermind, just die!"

Naruto kept grinning as the sword wielding Sekirei continued attacking him furiously, even chasing him to other rooftops in an attempt to cut him open. She was good, fast and lethal, but had obviously not been challenged seriously in a while. A lot like him in that regard actually.

"There is bloodlust in your footsteps Little Crow. Has it really been that long?" He purred at her as he continued evading and parrying her strikes.

"Yes! Give me more!" Karasuba demanded, her blood boiling with excitement at this battle. He was so good! Maybe as good as Miya or even better. She wanted to see how good he really was.

"As you wish." He agreed, using his much superior strength to shove her sword away and went into a spinning backhand that smacked across her face. He made sure to keep his fingers extended instead of making a fist so that it only stung and broke the skin on the inside of her cheek without truly injuring her.

It only seemed to excite Karasuba even more as she came back twice as viciously. Much to Naruto's amusement and intrigue, he could smell that she was getting seriously aroused.

They continued fighting in a stalemate for a couple of minutes longer until she pulled an unexpected maneouver and scored a shallow cut on his leg. He might be keeping his speed and strength way down, but it was still an impressive bit of sword work.

"Is that the best you have? Come on! Give me more!" She demanded again, driving at him in an almost berserker fashion.

Finding her passion for the battle to be rather infectious, Naruto complied and attacked from below, cutting through the roof of the building as he swung the Kusanagi at her. Surprise by the unexpected move, she was forced into a block that was rapidly overpowered and had her blade pushed up.

Off balance and not daring to let go of her sword, she was unable to defend herself from the knee strike to the gut that explosively forced the air out of her lungs.

"Yes, that's it! Show me what you can do!"

Naruto couldn't help but be amused at how battle crazy she was. He'd never met anyone quite so obsessed with a good fight before. Still, they had barely even gotten warmed up and the rooftops were already suffering damage. Karasuba obviously wasn't one to care about collateral damage or bystanders getting killed in the crossfire, but he was. If he was going to kill someone then it was damn well going to be on purpose.

"Well, I can't go too crazy here without accidentally killing a whole lot of people, so you're going to have to chase me if you want to play some more."

Karasuba's bloodthirsty smile widened. She didn't give a damn about the humans, but if he wanted to move the fight outside of the city before they got serious then that was fine with her. With this in mind she started jumping after him the instant that he leaped off the roof. She did stop in surprise however, when he swung his sword at the air and a portal opened.

Staring at the swirling, multicolored vortex that led to an unknown destination, Karasuba didn't need more than a moment to make her choice and jump through it. She was not giving up such a great fight just because she had no idea where that portal led.

Haihane and Benitsubasa(who had returned some time ago in a boiling rage), stared stupidly as the portal closed behind Karasuba.

"How the hell are we going to explain this?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Karasuba landed lightly on a courtyard paved with large stones and looked around warily. She hadn't been sure what to expect after jumping through that portal, but this had certainly not been it. She appeared to be in the courtyard of a huge stone castle that had many towers and battlements rising into the steel grey sky.

Jumping on the nearest wall, her breath caught in her throat in shock. She was definitely not in Shinto Teito anymore. In fact, she would be mightily surprised if she was even in Japan. There were nothing but jagged, rocky mountains in all directions as far as she could see and she knew that there were no mountain ranges this massive in Japan. It was also bitterly cold, the freezing winds cutting to the bone. Why the hell would anyone build a fortress like this in the middle of nowhere?

"How do you like the view?" The voice of the man she'd chased here echoed from above.

Karasuba snapped her head up and saw him squatting on top of a tower, still ridiculously barefoot and barechested as if he was on a tropical beach instead of this frigid fortress in the ass end of nowhere.

"Where are we?" She shouted up at him to be heard over the wind.

"I don't feel like telling you that, I'm afraid you'll have to beat it out of me….if you can." Naruto teased.

Karasuba couldn't keep down her bloodthirsty grin even if she had tried. That was a course of action that she could certainly agree with.

"If that's how you want to play this game…." Swinging her sword, she sent a blast of energy and pressurized air at him with intent to main, but Naruto jumped over it and brought his own sword down on her from overhead.

Karasuba dodged the vicious blow by jumping down into the courtyard, seeing the wisdom of her own move when a perfectly straight cut appeared down the length of the wall. Naruto pursued her and they engaged in a high speed series of attacks, parries and counter attacks while a section of the severed tower crashed into the wall and collapsed it.

Karasuba was enjoying herself more than she had enjoyed anything in too many years to count. She lived for this, the crash of steel on steel, the thundering of her heart and the shockwaves of her opponent's blows echoing in her bones. Where before, the wind had seemed so cold that it would turn her blood to ice if she stood still for too long, now it felt good against her burning hot body. She never even noticed that her panties had become soaked or the thin trickle of arousal going down her legs, being far too intent on the fight to pay it any mind.

Naruto was also enjoying himself, though not to the same degree. Unlike Karasuba, who needed to put everything she had into the fight, he had to hold back. Not so much his skill, but his speed and strength. He was not even close to being pressed hard, but he hadn't expected to be. Still, the fight was enjoyable in spite of that and the smell of his opponent's arousal was rather amusing. He hadn't thought that Karasuba would get so turned on from a fight.

As their battle steadily tore apart the courtyard, Karasuba started having a hard time. There was a lot of rubble scattered around now from various missed attacks and it was limiting her manouverability. This was a problem, as the superior reach and strength of her opponent made it hazardous for her to stay in one spot for too long. She'd already taken a few cuts, as well as blows from his hands and feet and it was getting harder and harder to keep him at bay, much less mount her own attacks. Additionally, much to her consternation, the few cuts that she'd dealt him had already healed, which meant that only a killing blow would truly put him down.

Knowing that the battleground no longer favored her, She opted to change it in spite of the fact that she hated even that tiny retreat.

Jumping up on what appeared to be a high stone walkway between two different parts of the castle, she instantly started sending more air blades back at him.

Naruto countered them with air blades of his own and responded by throwing a few fireballs back at her.

Karasuba smirked to herself, having suspected that he would be capable of using more than just one element and cut through the fireballs, dissipating them harmlessly.

"That's not going to work, I can cut through any elemental attack." She taunted.

"Oh? Try this one then." Naruto responded with a smirk and raised his hand to the sky.

Karasuba snappred her head upwards, seeing the forming storm cloud that was lit from within with an occasional flash of lightning and instantly deduced what was going to happen.

"Fuck!" She swore and threw herself to the side, through an open portcullis and into the interior of the castle. Just in time too, as a violent lightning strike crashed into her previous location and annihilated the stone walkway, as well as collapsed the gateway she'd jumped through.

Wanting to get out of the darkness and back to the fight, she tried to cut through the wall only to receive a nasty shock as her blade clanged ineffectually on the stone, doing nothing but creating a few sparks.

Karasuba stared incomprehendingly at her sword, with which she'd easily cut through steel before but now couldn't cut simple stone. Even more perplexing was the fact that she'd been able to cut that exact stone not very long ago without difficulty. Behind her, a row of torches lit up all by themselves, illuminating a path through the pitch black darkness.

Pressing her lips together and lowering her sword down to her side, Karasuba muttered to herself as she started walking, her breath misting in the cold air. "I'm getting the feeling that I may have underestimated him just a bit."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What sorcery is this?" Xanna demanded, glaring at the computer accusingly.

She couldn't understand it. Not very long ago, it had irritated her when Naruto had done this and now she was doing the exact same thing, constantly pressing the 'next song' button until it reached a song that she liked.

It made no sense! Why would she do that? She'd chosen all of these songs because she enjoyed them, there was no logical reason to be skipping any of them and yet she was doing so. She had absolutely no desire to remove them, but she didn't want to listen to them when they came on either, so she just kept skipping them until random chance chose one that she _did_ like hearing and then she felt the absurd urge to just keep repeating that song for a while(coincidentally something that had also annoyed her when Naruto had done it).

Frankly, she was starting to think that there was some kind of undetectable compulsion on these music players.

"Uh…..Xanna-sama?" Yashima said nervously.

"What?"

"Shouldn't we go help onii-chan? I mean…..he was about the fight the Disciplinary Squad."

Despite Akitsu telling her that Naruto was in no danger, she couldn't shake off the worry. The Disciplinary Squad had been every Sekirei's personal boogeyman for so long that she had subcconsciously started thinking of them as invincible.

"So?" Xanna asked without interest.

"Well….he could get hurt."

"Oh he's definitely going to get hurt, but only because he's an idiot that enjoys a little pain from time to time. Whatever Karasuba does to him, I probably do worse when we have sex. Don't worry about him, he'll be back soon enough."

"I guess….."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Karasuba stalked forward, starting to get pretty damn frustrated with this castle.

Soon after she'd left the collapsed entrance, she had started being periodically attacked by all sorts of strange fantasy shit. Such as animated suits of armor, walking skeletons, shambling zombies and a gamut of other weirdness. Aside from the various beasties, there was also the occasional trap such as arrows and spears from the wall, collapsing floors, moving circular saws and other such things.

The entire freaking time, creepy, ominous music of undeterminate origin had been playing and even worse, it was playing in such a way that it constantly threw off her danger sense. It randomly peaked, making her think that she was going to get attacked only for nothing to happen and it stayed calm only for a zombie to suddenly grab at her ankle.

At least it had taught her to beware any areas where there was any earth, it was almost a certainty that undead were going to crawl out of it.

Actually, the whole thing had left her feeling massively paranoid. Individually, none of the things that attacked her were at all dangerous, but all of them seemed inordinately good at surprise attacks. Not every suit of armor started trying to attack her, but those that did, did it with extreme suddenness and without warning. Any shadowy corner or tapestry could be hiding an enemy and it left her feeling wary of everything.

And no matter how tough she was, even she was not immune to the psychological effect of being constantly ambushed by the walking dead while that damnable music kept grinding away at her nerves. The torchlight was only intermittent and created deep pits of flickering shadow everywhere, further fraying her nerves.

At least it seemed to be over, as she could see natural light spilling into the darkness from the top of a large staircase.

Making her way to the top of it, she could do nothing but stare at the thing occupying the absurdly massive chamber.

It was a dragon, a real life dragon with glinting blue scales and a wickedly barbed tail. Two pairs of horns curved backwards along its enormous head. It wasn't like a Japanese or Chinese dragon that would have a serpentine body with small limbs, but a more western style one with a massive body and powerfully muscled limbs that ended with claws longer than her sword and thicker than her body. It also had wings that were currently kept close to its body. Judging by the size of them, the chamber was too small for it to be able to spread them comfortably.

Which made her wonder how the hell the huge thing had even gotten into this chamber, since she could see no opening even close to big enough for it to have come through. Unless the roof opened or something.

"….the fuck?" She said to herself. The shit that she'd had to deal with down in the darkness had been pretty weird, but a fucking dragon? Seriously?!

Apparently hearing her, the massive creature turned its head towards her and trained its golden, reptilian eyes on her and puffed out a short burst of steam, coincidentally exposing ridiculously large teeth.

Gripping her sword tightly, she sent an air blade at it only to watch in dismay as it broke apart on its scales without effect. She had no time to consider any alternative avenues of attack as the dragon apparently took exception to being attacked and responded with a inhale of air and an fiery exhale that she only barely dodged because of its sheer size. Even so, her Disciplinary Squad haori ended up being a bit singed, only adding to the ragged appearance that the previously inflicted cuts gave it. Idly she noticed that a more bombastic, action oriented music had started playing.

Seeing that the dragon was still recovering from using its fire breath, she closed the distance and slashed at the back of its hind leg, aiming to hamstring it. The dragon roared with pain and fury as her sword cut through the weaker scales on the back of its leg and retaliated by kicking back with that very same leg. Not expecting it to be so fast, she was hit full on and sent flying.

Karasuba rubbed briefly at her aching chest, glad to find that no ribs were broken, though she would probably have a bruise extending across the entire front of her body soon. If that leg had been in a better position to kick her, she'd have been dead.

She was allowed no more respite than that as another, smaller fire blast was sent her way, forcing her to dodge it again. She tried to rush at its other leg only to yelp and frantically dodge as a rapid series of small fire blasts tried to roast her. Apparently the dragon could manipulate the intensity of its breath attack and it was being disturbingly intelligent about it.

Finally it ran out of air to power its attacks and she took the opportunity to charge at it. This time, she anticipated the attack from its front legs and weaved around it. No matter how incongruously fast it was for its size, she was still a lot faster.

Instead of going for the other hind leg, she lashed out at the leg that had just tried to squash her, cutting through its massive tendons with some effort.

Instead of speeding away and exposing herself to its fire breath again, she stayed close in and dodged around its clumsy attacks. If the mythological beast wasn't crippled on two of its legs, this would have been suicidal, but now it was doable as long as she wasn't directly under it, where it could simply lower its body and squash her.

Karasuba was able to keep herself safe with only minor difficult, as the dragon was heavily favoring its crippled legs. Once she was in position, she inflicted a much larger gash on its uninjured front leg, causing it to crumple forward as it was no longer able to support itself. Taking the opportunity, she propelled herself upwards, opening a massive slash in its long, serpentine neck.

The dragon let out a dying roar and struggled to stay upright, but Karasuba could clearly see that it was on its last legs, barely able to even keep its eyes open as the huge wound she'd just given it bled a veritable waterfall of blood.

Breathing heavily with both exertion and a sense of victory, she smirked at the dying beast. "Just goes to show that size isn't everything."

She saw the tail only a moment before it smashed into her, having let her guard down. The force behind the blow sent her flying into the wall while her sword clattered to the ground, having been torn from her grasp when she'd been struck.

Slowly and very painfully, Karasuba got back on her feet, holding her right arm with her left and limping on her right leg. Both her front and back were screaming in pain and her thigh felt as if the bone had cracked. Her right arm was most definitely broken and would be no good for any kind of sword work until it healed. There were also several gashes along her stomach from the bone spikes on its tail, but they were fortunately not very deep. She was injured badly enough that she wouldn't be finished healing for a few days at least, which was very bad, as she doubted that she had a few days to lounge around.

Berating herself for being stupid enough to let her guard down around an enemy that wasn't fully dead, she looked towards where her sword should be and her face fell in dismay. The titanic, multi ton head had apparently decided to fall on that exact spot.

She glared into the still living dragon's serpentine eyes until they closed and the pained breathing of the beast stopped. There was no way in hell that she would be able to lift that thing to get her sword out from under it. She wouldn't have been able to do it even if she was fully healed.

With a metallic rattle, a portcullis opened on the side and she limped slowly towards it, having no choice but to leave her sword there.

Several painful minutes later, she came upon a mid sized room that looked more like the laboratory of some mad wizard than anything else. Of particular interest were two items sitting innocently on a large desk.

One was a sword, a nodachi to be exact and rather conveniently of the exact length and shape of her previous one. The only difference was the fact that it had a white hilt with the image of a snarling dragon head carved on the very end of it. Grasping it with her good hand, she noted that it was made of bone and felt rather comfortable to the touch. Unsheathing the blade, she was pleased to see that the blade was actually of considerably higher quality than her last one.

Looking curiously at the scroll that had been next to it, she opened it and felt like growling with fury at what was written on it.

_Ryūyoku the Dragon Bone hilt Nodachi +3, +5 vs. Dragons and Dragonkin._

_Carved from the wing bone of an ancient red dragon and tempered in its powerful blood, Ryūyoku's enchantments cause extra damage to draconic enemies. Due to its origin, it also incites the wrath of any dragon that sees it, something that any prospective wielders should be aware of if they intend to use it._

_Incidentally, even though the blade is useful for fighting dragons, one should be aware that fighting dragons is generally a bad idea, for thou art crunchy and go well with ketchup._

Karasuba had been having the niggling suspicion that she was being screwed with ever since the first zombie had attacked her. Now, seeing the suspiciously convenient sword layed out for her to find along with that scroll, she knew that she was definitely being screwed with. It may not be something she was interested in, but she'd been around long enough that she had a very basic familiarity with Dungeons and Dragons. Being around Haihane helped, as that girl spent entirely too much time on video games and anime.

Sighing gustily to expel her irritation, she turned her attention to the other item.

It was a very ornate bottle with a bulbous bottom and a metallic skeleton around the crystalline glass. It was filled with a deep red liquid and topped with a cork. There was a scroll in front of this one too and she had a vague suspicion as to what it would say. Opening it confirmed her suspicion.

_Potion of Full Restoration._

_Drinking this potion will return the drinker to full health even from the brink of death. Wounds will heal, bones will mend and blood will replenish._

_WARNING: May cause spontaneus, long lasting erections for men._

Rolling her eyes, she decided to believe it and grabbed the bottle, biting down on the cork and pulling it out with a pop. With only a momentary hesitation she chugged it, finding it to taste rather pleasant, much to her surprise.

Almost instantly, her body burned with sudden energy and for a moment it felt as if every muscle she had bulged with power before settling back down.

Flexing her arms in amazement, Karasuba couldn't feel any pain from the multitude of injuries she'd suffered when the dragon's tail had sent her flying into the wall. Her clothes were still in a bad way, having countless rips and exposing her stomach and bra to a large degree, but she was fully healed.

"Heh, I bet Takami or Minaka would sell their souls for even a drop of this stuff." She muttered to herself, noting in amusement that the remains of the potion were quickly evaporating so that she couldn't bring any back even if she wanted to.

Moving cautiously forward, her hackles were raised to the maximum because there was nothing attacking her and there was no more music. She was honestly expecting something to jump out at her from the wall any second now, the fact that it didn't only made her feel more paranoid.

Finally, she made it to what appeared to be a very odd throne room. It was circular, with a side corridor leading to a staircase suspended over a deep pit and a familiar portal at the top of it. A portal that she suspected would take her back to Shinto Teito.

Directly in front of her was a huge monstrosity of a throne made of black marble and styled into multiple spikes that made it look as if some abomination was trying to crawl out of it and up the wall behind it. Sitting on the chair was the very same horned man that had opened the portal that had brought her here and he was aiming a wide grin at her.

Once she took a few steps into the room, he started clapping slowly.

"Well done Little Crow, I'll admit that I was expecting you to get yourself killed fighting my dragon." He complimented. "It may interest you to know that there was no need to fight him. If you'd simply asked to pass through, he would have let you."

"You mean that thing could understand me?" Karasuba asked in shock, remembering that the dragon had been rather clever with its fire breath before she'd killed it.

"In a manner of speaking. I don't know how to create true life and neither am I interested in doing so right now, but creating creatures that can obey simple commands isn't too hard. They're nothing more than flesh and blood machines really, but it's something." It was also the main reason that Karasuba had been able to win her fight against the dragon, it was stupid as fuck because he didn't have a lot of time to program it with anything more than 'breathe fire, smash with legs and tail'. The idea of using several smaller fire blasts had been about the extent of his cleverness on short notice

"Are you going to tell me where the hell this place is now? I can't believe that a place like this wouldn't have been noticed by people, not to mention that no one would have built this castle in the middle of nowhere." Karasuba questioned.

"You're assuming that there are any people here." Naruto pointed out with amusement.

Karasuba had the distinct impression that 'here' was not referring to the castle.

"Just stop circling around the subject and tell me where we are already." She demanded impatiently.

"Oh fine, but only because you look so delicious in that ripped up outfit." Naruto conceded with a leer. "We are in my personal dimension. Aside from the castle and the mountains, nothing exists here. There is only gravity because I will it, there is only air because I will it. Everything here exists only because I want it to exist. I use this place to play around with various ideas and I thought it would be funny to make you do a dungeon run, though I had to do a bit of rushed improvising on the traps and monsters."

"You're telling me that you're a god here?" Karasuba asked sceptically, still not entirely certain that she believed what he was saying.

"Well, I'm a god everywhere, but playing around like this in an inhabitated dimension would be a bad idea. I can't just go collapsing one of those if I create some monumental fuck up."

"You know I don't really believe you." Karasuba said after a moment of silence.

"That's alright, you don't have to." Naruto responded casually and then suddenly flew at her with his sword drawn. Karasuba barely blocked the strike because of its speed and the surprise attack nature of it and even that was only because she'd never really let her guard down.

Over their locked blades, Naruto leered at the silver haired Sekirei again. "But you should believe that you'll be losing what's left of your clothes if you don't win this fight."

With that, the interrupted sword fight between them was renewed. They fought all across the throne room, each putting every bit of skill they had to bear against the other. Naruto had gotten a good feel for the level of her speed and strength in their earlier battle and was restraining himself accordingly to make sure that only skill with a blade would decide the winner.

Karasuba didn't let his threat rattle her and kept herself utterly focused on the battle. She needed the focus, because he truly was the best swordsman she'd ever fought. The few spars against Miya had always ended up being decided by the purple haired Sekirei's superior power rather than skill with a blade, though Karasuba had to grudgingly admit that it would have still likely ended with her loss. At least then, she wasn't so sure if it would be the same now, as Miya had spent years pretending to be a human while she had kept training.

In spite of being threatened with rape if she lost, or perhaps even because of it, she rapidly started getting aroused to an even greater degree than before. This was the kind of battle that she had been yearning for, one where everything was put at stake. If she won, then she would get the pleasure of gutting this infuriating man and if she lost, she would either die or apparently be raped. The danger of it excited her like nothing else possibly could.

The match up seemed fairly even at first, but it eventually began turning to Naruto's favor.

Karasuba was by far the most skilled sword user he'd ever fought, but he had too many advantages over her. She had very rarely fought a sword user that was her equal or better, while he had the stolen memories of Hashirama to draw on, a man that had fought against his near equally powerful rival Madara countless times and Hashirama had used swords in those fights often, even if it was not a nodachi.

Both Naruto and Karasuba were rapidly learning new tricks and figuring out the tricks of the other during their battle, but Naruto was learning faster. Additionally, he was also a far superior hand to hand combatant than Karasuba, which gave him another edge. The final advantage was his greater size and thus reach as well as strength, though it was a minor advantage in comparison to the other two.

Naruto went for a diagonal slash, which Karasuba blocked, but was forced to give ground as his leg lashed out to strike at her sides. She had quickly learned to avoid a Taijutsu battle, as she was sure to lose it. She already had several painful bruises to prove it.

Trying to take advantage of his extended leg, she slashed at it while simultaneously moving forward to close the distance. Naruto surprised her by twisting his body around her blade, so that he ended up supporting himself off the ground with just one hand. For a moment, Karasuba thought that she might be able to take his hand off at the wrist, as her blade was heading right for it, but he pushed away from the ground and over her sword, catching her right across the face with his knee as he did so.

Karasuba was sent flying away, but managed to catch herself on the wall instead of smashing into it.

_What incredible movement. He could have easily lost a limb trying to pull that off, but he timed it perfectly and didn't lose his balance for a even a moment._ She thought to herself as she wiped some blood away from her mouth.

Firmly gripping her new nodachi, she launched herself at him and started a ferocious attack that forced him on the defensive. After performing a triple feint, she managed to score a slash across his leg, though she took a fist to the stomach right after.

Coughing because of the force behind the blow, she was glad that he hadn't followed up with another attack. She wouldn't have been able to defend herself too well if he had.

"That was nicely done." Naruto complimented. "In the interest of keeping it fair, I'm blocking my regeneration from healing this wound."

"How generous of you." Karasuba said sarcastically, irritated beyond measure that he actually had to hold back to keep things fair, not having the slightest idea just how much he was truly holding back.

After that short exchange, battle was rejoined, Karasuba having to ignore the pain of many minor bruises and the one very serious one on her stomach, while Naruto was favoring his slashed right leg.

Neither one was a stranger to fighting while in pain and were able continue the battle for some minutes longer. Soon though, it became obvious that Karasuba was slowing down. Not only were her cumulative injuries taking their toll, but her arms had started burning with exertion some time ago. The force that Naruto had been putting behind his blows was nothing to sneer at and there were only so many times that she could block before her arms could take no more.

She kept on fighting with as much desperate strength as she could muster, but the battle ended when her guard was smashed aside because she no longer had the strength to maintain it. Immediately after, an open palm strike hit her chest hard enough that she felt her ribs crack and was sent flying into the wall back first.

Shakily, she picked herself up, keeping a firm grip on her sword and pointing it at him, though she knew that she was going to lose.

Naruto approached her slowly, with a slight limp as he still hadn't allowed his leg to heal, taking note of her harsh breathing and shaking hands. He was highly surprised when the silver haired woman did the sensible thing and attempted to retreat instead of continuing a battle that she was certain to lose. He'd been certain that it would never even cross her mind no matter what he threatened her with.

She had no chance of actually making good on her escape of course, but it was the principle of the thing.

Karasuba felt that she had a good chance of getting away as long as she made it through the portal. The idea of retreat galled her and she wouldn't be particularly unreceptive to the prospect of being taken by this extraordinarily powerful warrior that had completely defeated her, but it just wasn't in her nature to give in.

She was actually rather ambivalent to the idea of sex, it was something that had never really interested her. The only time she ever got aroused was during a good fight, which meant that she was highly aroused at the moment and found the horned man quite attractive because of it, but that didn't mean she was just going to let him do whatever he wanted to her.

She jumped through the portal and fell to the ground on the other side when it ended up being closer than expected. Before she could get up and figure out where exactly she was, Naruto came through after her and grabbed her by the hair with one hand and an arm with the other. Before she could react, she was lifted and pressed cheek first against a wall with Naruto's body pushing into her from behind.

She had time to notice that they were on a rooftop again and she was being pressed against the entrance to the stairway that allowed access to said roof for people who weren't capable of roof jumping.

"Naughty girl, trying to run away like that." Naruto purred into her ear and rather deliberately ground his crotch against her ass. He had a suspicion about Karasuba that he wanted to confirm.

The Sekirei in question maintained a stony silence and waited for him to tear her clothing off. She was pinned and too tired to keep fighting, if he wanted to do what he had implied he would do, it would be exceedingly easy at this point. Despite it all, her panties were liberally soaked due to the arousal she'd experienced in the fight.

Honestly, she was regretting the fact that she'd allowed Natsuo to wing her. At the time she'd done it because she knew that the homosexual leader of the Disciplinary Squad hated the world just like she did and he wouldn't annoy her with any kind of attempts to get into her panties. But having just fought the most exhilirating battle of her life, she wished that she could get winged by the horned man whose name she had never actually gotten. They could fight like this every day and if he really could create any kind of environment he wished as he had claimed, then that opened so many fun possibilities. Being winged so forcefully after being defeated in battle would actually be her idea of romantic.

Besides, the power boost that she had been supposed to gain from having an Ashikabi had been minimal, barely noticeable in fact. She suspected it had something to do with the fact that Neither she nor Natsuo could care less about each other. Or it could be because Takehito had been her adjustor and he'd done something different from the others, something that Minaka hadn't liked too much.

"Here I was, about to offer you an unwinging and you run away." Naruto crooned and extended his tongue to lick and errant drop of blood from the corner of her mouth.

Karasuba froze in shock, her arousal mounting again as the idea penetrated into her mind. If her winging to that little pussy Natsuo could be broken, then there would be nothing in the way of getting winged to the horned man currently pinning her to the wall.

"I suppose I shouldn't force it on you if you want to stay winged so badly, but I think I'll be taking a little something as a victory prize either way."

Karasuba tried to speak up, tried to say that she wanted to be unwinged, but all that came out of her mouth was a strained cry between pleasure and pain as he sank his teeth into her shoulder and pressed against her throbbing groin more insistently.

"You're pretty tasty Little Crow." He murmured into her ear. "It was fun, make sure to come see me if you want to go another round."

Upon saying that, he released her and teleported away, leaving Karasuba to fall to her knees, still leaning against the wall.

The silver haired Sekirei forced down a whimper as her painfully aroused body protested the sudden absence. She was actually still a virgin, but right now she wanted to be fucked so badly that it wasn't even funny. She didn't want gentleness, she wanted him to come back, unwing her and then take her right up against this wall and she wanted him to be rough about it.

"Fucking bastard." She cursed, suddenly realising that this had probably been planned. He'd been entirely too knowledgeable about her and could have conceivably known how to push her buttons just right.

In spite of that, she couldn't hold back a smile as she got back on her feet and began making her way back. It had been a glorious battle and she had probably learned more about sword fighting than she would have over years of training. Even if he had pulled a hugely dick move by getting her so completely turned on and then leaving her high and dry, it had been the best day of her life.

She knew that she was mostly pissed off over the fact that he'd manipulated the situation in such a way that she would be forced to _ask_ him to unwing her, making her swallow her pride in order to do it. She'd have to act as if they were friends, which was exactly what he'd said they'd be, the infuriating bastard. The same for another fight really, because she doubted that the same approach would work twice.

But she would do it, she knew that she would. It had simply been too amazing for her not to do it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto grinned to himself as he watched Karasuba jump off, being careful not to jostle her injuries too much.

That had been loads of fun, especially considering the fact that he'd kind of done the whole dungeon thing on a whim.

Maybe he should make more of these dungeon things and drop people in them?

Shaking his head and mentally kicking himself for the idea, he put it aside. Playing with unsuspecting mortals like that was a good way to go way deeper into the asshole side of godhood than he wanted to. Now if they agreed to it, that would be something else entirely…

Either way he had a more immediate problem to take care of. Namely, his barely in control arousal. He'd been a hairsbreadth away from taking the silver haired Sekirei right up against that wall. The smell of her arousal had been teasing him for their entire fight and knowing that she actually wanted it made it seriously hard to resist, but this was better. Karasuba was almost guaranteed to come back for more and frustrating her might be worth a few laughs. He wondered how long she would last before she got royally pissed off at him for messing with her like this.

But that was all for the future, right now he needed to get back to his wife.

With this in mind, he teleported over to her and wasted no time grabbing her and kissing her. She was only slighty surprised by his forceful approach, having felt his arousal through their bond and returned it eagerly.

Not wanting to bother with making their way to the bedroom by foot, he simply teleported the both of them there, disposing of their clothes on the way.

He quickly nibbled his way down her collar bone and to one of her nipples, seizing it with his lips and pulling at it, her soft moan at the action almost causing him just get right to the main event instead of building up to it.

Xanna took a quick peek into his mind to see what had him so aroused and smirked at what he'd done to Karasuba. That might end up being amusing.

Getting an idea of her own, she pushed him on his back and settled herself on top of him in a 69 position. Naruto was perfectly happy with that and instantly inserted his tongue inside her, groaning in pleasure at the taste of her.

Meanwhile, Xanna observed the steel hard evidence of his arousal and decided to be mean. While he was working his tongue inside her with furious intensity, hers wrapped slowly around him and squeezed slowly, pulling on his member ever so slightly.

Naruto groaned into her opening and all but vibrated with the desire for her to do something more, which she refused to do, instead continuing her torturously slow actions that did nothing to give him the relief he was looking for, but made his arousal all the worse.

Trying to provoke her into doing more, he used his tongue to deliver an electric shock to her nerves, making her cry out in pleasure at the act and instinctively tighten her tongue around his member. Seeing that it worked, he continued delivering occasional electric shocks.

Some minutes later, Xanna was breathing heavily and finally lowered her mouth over him slowly until his entire length was in her mouth and down her throat.

Naruto kept up an almost continuous growl of pleasure as his wife applied an incredibly pleasurable suction to his aching manhood. Meanwhile, he kept up his own end, trying his best not to become distracted by the pleasure of what she was doing to him. Having been far more aroused than her when they started, he didn't last too much longer and released explosively into her throat.

He didn't manage to stay focused on what he should be doing with his own tongue while she swallowed down his release and licked up the last few drops but got himself back under control before she could get irritated with his slacking off.

Xanna raised herself up and turned so that she could grab on to his horns while he finished her with his tongue, which happened only a couple of minutes later. Just as she had done, Naruto eagerly swallowed all of her release, finding it to be as delicious as ever.

"I see you're ready for more." She murmured once her orgasm had subsided, seeing that he was once more standing at attention.

"A lot more." He growled back eagerly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Akitsu cautiously entered the master bedroom, unsure of what to expect.

She'd actually been present when Naruto had teleported in and instantly started kissing his wife, but the horned blond hadn't noticed her at all. That was the only reason she hadn't gone in to join them earlier, figuring that they wanted some time to themselves.

But she really wanted in on the fun and she'd waited for an hour already, so it should be alright now. Most of her fears of abandonment had been assuaged already, but there were still a few lingering doubts and she didn't want to annoy them even if she wouldn't be discarded for it.

She found them to still be at it, this time on an armchair, with Xanna sitting in Naruto's lap and leaning on his chest with her back. She had her arms raied above her head and was using his horns as a handhold, while Naruto used one arm to fondle a breast and the other to rub between her legs even as he penetrated her.

Xanna noticed the intruder and beckoned her over. "Come here Akitsu."

Face heating up in anticipation, Akitsu discarded her clothing swiftly and approached. Without hesitation, she went down on her knees and started working her tongue on the spot where Naruto's hand had been previously, while she used one of her hands to gently fondle his testicles, encouraged by the approving growl he let out at the act.

Feeling hands grasping her hips, she started and looked behind her, much surprised to find another Naruto there. Seeing her shocked look, he grinned at her and gestured for her to continue.

Shaking off the surprise and feeling rather pleased by the unexpected addition, she went back to her previous activity, moaning in pleasure as her already slick entrance was slowly filled.

Having been at it for some time before Akitsu came into the room, both Xanna and the first Naruto reached their climax soon.

Once she judged that they were done, Akitsu pulled him out of Xanna and clamped her mouth over the opening and eagerly used her tongue to draw in as much of her self chosen master's delicious sperm as she could. Simultaneously she was also using her hands to pump his slick member, rubbing it against her breasts as she did so. She continued even when the clone that was taking her from behind released inside her and she reached her own orgasm.

Naruto and Xanna were content to let her do it instead of changing positions, finding the somewhat slower pace to be enjoyable for the moment.

Eventually, She couldn't get any more of his seed out of Xanna and she focused her attentions back on the horned woman's engorged clitoris, being rather rough with it by the standards of mortals as she pushed against it hard with her tongue and used her teeth to bite down on it semi-gently. The clawed hand that pressed down on her head encouragingly and soft moans told her that she was doing it right.

Her jaw started to hurt from the constant workout by the time she finally managed to bring them both to orgasm, Xanna only releasing a gentle trickle of fluid while Naruto liberally splattered her breasts with his seed.

"You're a mess Akitsu." Xanna said in amusement, looking down at the thoroughly soiled Sekirei.

"Master always makes a mess." Akitsu agreed, looking down at the drying sperm on her breasts and holding a hand to keep in what Naruto's clone left in her.

"Oi, don't go blaming me for this." Naruto defended himself.

"She has a point husband." Xanna commented casually as she stood up from his lap. "She was just trying to clean me and you messed the poor girl up completely."

"Well then I guess it's bath time." He responded with a grin.

"Shower first, we don't want to be swimming in your semen after all."

"I'll have you know that I've heard that sperm is good for the skin."

"I am a goddess, my skin can't possibly get any more perfect."

Naruto rolled his eyes with a grin at that argument. "Well then miss perfect, lets go shower so that I can clean your perfect godlike back and Akitsu can clean _my_ perfect godlike back and my clone can clean Akitsu's back."

Akitsu happily nodded her head to that idea and made her way to the extra huge shower, inwardly hoping that something more would happen in there besides cleaning, especially if she had a Naruto both in front and behind her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**So endeth chapter the third.**

**Not much to say here except please review xD.**


	4. Chapter 4

"So, what was so urgent that you needed to talk to me as soon as possible Takami?" Homura, Sekirei #06, asked.

"It looks like you've got some competition for the position as Guardian of Unwinged Sekirei." Takami answered with some irony in her voice.

"You wouldn't happen to be talking about the horned juggernaut that's stomping all over the city are you?" Homura asked suspiciously. He'd seen the video of that one Ashikabi getting hurled into the MBI tower and heard on the news about the more recent event when he'd apparently used the city as an obstacle course for some ice sliding.

"The very same, his name is Uzumaki Naruto by the way." Takami confirmed, not at all surprised that Homura had heard of him already. Low profile the horned man was not. "I went to talk to him and determined that he and his wife, whose name is still unknown, are basically here on a whim because he wants to adopt a few 'little sisters' and has apparently decided that the Sekirei are perfect for that purpose."

"That's all he wants?" Homura asked dubiously, thinking it unlikely that anyone could take a look at the Sekirei and have that kind of idea.

"Seems like it." Takami answered with a shrug and then continued uneasily. "Though I can't be sure and both of them are vicious in the extreme when something happens that they don't like."

That sounded a lot more plausible to the fire Sekirei. Though the little sister angle still threw him, he wasn't at all surprised to hear that the newcomers weren't very nice people.

"Like throwing an Ashikabi into a building hard enough to make him explode?" He asked dryly.

"They've done more than that." Takami said with a snort. "After he did that, his wife somehow managed to appear in Minaka's office without tripping a single alarm and ripped off eight of his fingers."

And just like that, Homura's opinion of them skyrocketed. He hated Minaka with a passion and hearing that something bad had happened to the insane president of MBI always made his day a little better.

"Why only eight?" He asked curiously.

"Apparently she thought it would be funny to leave him with just his pinkies. I get the feeling that Minaka is only alive right now because they think it'll be more fun to kill him by degrees." She told him dryly. Had something like this happened even a few years ago, her reaction would have been far stronger but Minaka had quite honestly become rather unbearable ever since his insane Sekirei Plan had started.

Homura was forced to agree, the thought of Minaka with just his pinkies _was_ pretty funny.

"On top of that, she apparently also read his mind and helped herself to all of the information he had on the Sekirei, casually took the remaining seven Jinki that MBI had in their vault and took the bodies of the deactivated Sekirei."

"What?" Homura asked numbly, hardly able to believe that someone was able to so cavalierly walk all over MBI and its protections. "What about the Disciplinary Squad? Didn't they try to stop her?"

"It would be pretty hard to stop someone that can apparently teleport at will." Takami shrugged. She'd been shocked about it at first too, but she'd had some time to get used to it since then. "Not to mention that I doubt they could have stopped her either way."

"What do you mean?"

"Karasuba went out looking for Uzumaki and found him."

"What happened?" Homura half expected to hear that the horned man had been killed, though he wasn't sure just how powerful he was.

"Karasuba wouldn't talk about it, her clothes were torn to shreds and she had a new sword. I'm pretty sure that she lost….badly, but she was strangely upbeat about it."

"Just what the hell are these two anyway?" Homura asked mostly to himself.

Takami hesitated, looking nervous and Homura noticed it. "You know something."

"….He said that he was a god."

"A god?" Homura said with high amounts of scepticism.

"Yeah that was my reaction too, so he created a city wide lightning storm to make his point."

"Wait….that freak storm the other day that only lasted for half a minute was him?" Homura said in alarmed realisation.

"Yes." Takami confirmed. "Look, it doesn't matter either way whether he's a god or not, the fact of the matter is that he's insanely powerful, both of them are. They've already unwinged one Sekirei and intend to do it to others."

"WHAT? HOW?" The fire Sekirei burst out, having never imagined that such a thing was possible. There were a lot of Sekirei that he'd failed to protect from unscrupulous Ashikabi that wanted to wing them against their will and this could be something that would allow those girls a second chance.

Takami had to smile a bit at the usually serious man losing his composture like that.

"I have no idea how and I doubt they'll be forthcoming with that information, but that's not why I'm telling you about this." That got Homura's attention and he focused his full attention on Takami. "If they can so casually unwing a Sekirei, then they might be able to help you with your own little problem."

Takami had long been worried about Homura's unstable Sekirei Core but unable to do anything about it. She'd theorized that an Ashikabi bond might stabilize it, but there was no way to be sure until it happened. Homura had fought so hard to protect the unwinged Sekirei while they searched for the right person to bond with, at her behest no less. The least she could do was point him in the direction of someone that could help him. Even though Naruto was dangerous beyond all doubt, he seemed benign enough to people who weren't scum.

"And you think they'd help me out, just like that?" Homura asked sceptically.

"I'm not sure about the woman, but Uzumaki gave me the impression that he was a basically decent guy despite his quirks….as long as you don't do something to make him angry, at which point he apparently uses you as a living projectile."

"How comforting." Homura muttered to himself sarcastically. "I'll keep it in mind in case I ever get desperate enough to ask them for help, though Miya seems to think they'll be paying Izumo Inn a visit eventually anyway."

Takami felt a chunk of ice drop into her gut at the thought of Miya clashing with either of the horned duo. She had no idea how they stacked up against each other power-wise, but she sincerely doubted there would be anything left of the city if they fought. She didn't for a second consider that they might get along. Miya's rather prudish attitude in the same room with Naruto and his gaggle of perverts was just asking for a catastrophe.

"I really hope that doesn't happen." She said ominously.

"Why?" Homura asked, honestly confused.

"Because Uzumaki is a pervert and completely shameless about it, I even got a report about a public sex incident happening just before he killed that Ashikabi. Even worse, Akitsu seems to be going in that direction herself and his wife probably isn't exactly the model of proper behavior either. If they ever go there, it's going to be like a carnival of everything that makes Miya angry."

"Oh….." Yeah, Homura could see the incoming disaster just as clearly as she could. He might not know them, but he somehow doubted that Uzumaki and his wife were the type to meekly do things Miya's way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minaka was troubled. Why, he would even go so far as to say that he was upset!

His missing fingers bothered him quite a bit, since the cybernetic ones were far less flexible than real ones, not to mention the lack of feeling in them, but that was not the main cause of his ire.

No, the cause of his problems were the two unknowns that were blatantly flaunting the rules of the Sekirei Plan! Didn't they understand that it was needed in order to determine who was fit to ascend?

But what could he do? His attempt to gather information had already backfired horribly, costing him the Jinki and the bodies of the deactivated Sekirei, not to mention his fingers. Above all else, he needed to retrieve those or else he would have no prizes to offer as the game progressed.

Takami had told him what she had learned, but he did not believe it. The New Age of the Gods had not arrived yet, why would there be two gods here already?

Just as Takami, he also suspected that Karasuba had encountered Uzumaki Naruto and been defeated, but that in and of itself did not trouble him as much as the apparent consequences of this event.

The Black Sekirei had been acting…..odd ever since then. She'd been almost pleasant! There were far fewer terrified-to-death employees cowering in the toilets or asking to be reassigned elsewhere. She seemed to be getting back to her old self as the days passed, but it was still troubling.

And unwinging a bonded Sekirei! Honestly, that was almost like reversing the Sekirei Plan and thus even more unacceptable than ignoring the rules!

Possibly by far the worst of all, every single tracker in every single Sekirei had mysteriously stopped working recently! He had no idea how they had done it, but it was intolerable! Those trackers were crucial in order to keep track of the little birds to make sure they didn't scatter to the winds. It was possible to keep track of them by other means but it was a hundred times more difficult and time consuming and some were bound to slip through the cracks. Not to mention the extra feature in those trackers that allowed him to use a signal generated by their MBI cards to deactivate them at any time

They needed to be punished and Minaka already knew that only removal from the game would suffice, anything less and they would simply retaliate again.

After all, no matter how strong or fast they were, they would have trouble surviving a sniper round to the head. Even Miya would have trouble with that, no matter how powerful she was. Though Minaka was silently glad that he hadn't needed to resort to that because Miya had removed herself from the Sekirei Plan. There was always the chance of failure and it would be disastrous if that happened. Unfortunately, these newcomers were not so courteous and he had to risk it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Karasuba had wrestled with herself over this for days, ever since their fight in fact. Her pride had warred with her desires and as the days passed, her pride became less and less important. It wasn't like she had to do anything huge anyway, it just rankled that she had to _ask_ for something instead of taking it.

That battle had been the most intense and exciting thing she'd ever experienced and she wanted more of it. No longer could she tolerate the stale routine of patrolling the city and looking for the weaklings that decided they didn't want anything to do with the game or the loonies that thought using their Sekirei to bully the other humans was fun, not that she payed too much attention to the latter group. What she wanted was to feel the burn of her muscles as she struggled against a powerful opponent, to hear the clanging of swords and see the spray of blood as flesh was parted by steel.

To that end, she'd come here, to this incredibly, ridiculously expensive hotel to pay a visit to the man that could give her those things. She had no real idea how she was going to go about actually _asking_ him for that, but she'd think of something. There was always plan B, which was to simply attack him and see what happened.

She'd learned his name in the meantime so that minor issue was settled and there'd be no need for introductions. The only thing left to do was approach him again.

Course of action decided, she marched up to the door and knocked on it, already feeling the familiar excitement in her gut at the nearness of another battle.

"Come in." Naruto's voice called from within.

Karasuba did so and stopped in surprise at the sight that greeted her.

They'd clearly done some remodeling if the multilple TV screens were any clue. Each of them was connected to a gaming console that was in turn being occupied by someone.

Yashima and Akitsu she knew only from reading their profiles in the past few days while she gathered information on Naruto. There was Naruto himself of course along with the still unknown horned woman who had ever so casually removed Minaka's fingers, though she hadn't thought that she would be the type to play video games.

The real surprise was the presence of a familiar face in the group.

"Haihane, what are you doing here?"

"Uh, hi senpai." The Blue Sekirei greeted nervously before answering. "Well, Naruto invited me over to play a few games."

"Naruto also just cut your head off because you weren't paying attention." The man in question taunted.

"Hey! No fair!" Haihane protested and turned her attention back to her own monitor.

"Hey there Little Crow." Naruto greeted the bemused Karasuba belatedly, not taking his eyes off the screen as he was too busy fighting Akitsu. This game that Haihane had suggested really was worth the effort to set up multiple screens and consoles, even if they did have to vandalize the hotel a bit to make room.

At this point, Xanna growled ferociously and ended up burning her controller to nothing with the cursed black fires of Amaterasu, obviously angered by the fact that she'd been bested.

"Sorry!" Yashima squeaked, terrified by the display of rage and power.

"No need to apologize Yashima." Naruto assured, garnering himself a dirty look from his wife, who had been enjoying the terror she'd inspired in the Sekirei that dared get the better of her inside the game.

"Come on now Xanna, it's just a game. No need to get so angry." He soothed, putting down his controller and moving to rub her shoulders.

Xanna let out an indistinct mutter but allowed herself to be pacified. She was not accustomed to losing and did not enjoy the feeling even if it was at something as silly as a video game. If she could have, she would have definitely cheated to force a victory, but attempting to change the rules of a video game with her power was more likely to burn out the electronics than anything else. Who'd have thought that warping reality would be easier than cheating at a game?

Karasuba observed all of this with an odd look on her face, not sure what to think. This Xanna was obviously powerful and she felt the familiar urge to fight her just as she did with all powerful people but something warned her than any attempt to challenge her wouldn't result in a fight but an execution.

Either way it was very strange to see them participating in something so frivolous. She'd have thought that such powerful people would have better things to do with their time than play video games, but apparently not.

"So, what can we do for you Little Crow?" Naruto asked once things had calmed down, the game was clearly over as they'd have to plug in a new controller for Xanna.

Karasuba twitched at the nickname but didn't verbally protest it. He'd beaten her already and she wouldn't be able to demand that he stop calling her that until she beat him as well.

"I came for another fight." She stated, resting her hand on the hilt of her sword.

"That's cute." He responded, making her twitch again. She was _not_ cute! "But I'm afraid it's going to have to wait for a little while, we were just about to have dinner. You're free to join us though."

Karasuba opened her mouth to reject the offer out of sheer instinct before stopping herself. It's not like she had anywhere better to be and she still wanted that fight.

"Alright."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Is the food for the penthouse finished yet?" A young man asked one of the hotel chefs impatiently.

"Not yet, should be done in ten minutes." The chef responded, never taking his eyes away from the food.

"Come on man, hurry it up." The same young man said insistently.

"Keep your socks on boy, do you have any idea how much food we've had to make?" A different, older chef snarked back irritably. "They've even got two guests today, apparently with the same appetites."

Despite his irritable tone, the old chef liked the people currently occupying the penthouse, as every real chef liked cooking for people with a big appetite. Most of the time, that room was only used by pompous assholes that didn't do anything but complain and when they ran out of things to complain about, they made up more things to complain about.

These people however, appreciated the work that the hotel staff did in keeping them comfortable up there and let them know it. That was the reason that the bellhop was so impatient actually, he was looking forward to the hefty tip that was almost guaranteed to be given once the food was delivered.

Three of them would be needed to cart all of the food up there tonight and all of them were obviously barely holding their impatience in check. The old chef couldn't blame them really, he'd have been ecstatic over a big influx of money at their age too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So, why was that one guy looking so annoyed that we were excited to be carrying the food here." A female bellhop asked in confusion as she pushed her own table full of food along the hallway. She'd only just gotten the job and was excited to be bringing the food to the apparenly highly generous people using the penthouse.

"Kenta's a die hard christian." One of her two male companions said as if that explained everything.

"What's that got to do with anything?" She asked, even more confused.

"Don't get me wrong, Kenta's a good guy and doesn't try to force his religion on anyone, but he's convinced that the couple in the penthouse are demons and it pisses him off that nobody takes him seriously." He explained.

"Why would he think they were demons?" She asked further, giving her colleague a very odd look.

"You'll see." The other male bellhop asked with a snicker, making the woman a bit nervous.

Soon after they made it to the door and knocked with the customary call of 'room service!".

The door was opened and the female bellhop jumped back with a little squeak of a scream.

"Hey guys." Naruto greeted, paying the reaction no mind. It was hardly the first time after all.

"Hey Naruto." They greeted back with a fist bump. He'd long since told them not to bother with politeness, which they were fine with. He was the coolest rich guy they'd ever heard of.

After this was done, Naruto turned his eyes on the slowly calming down woman and grinned. "And you even brought a stripper this time, you guys are the best."

"Well, we figured that you didn't have enough hot women around." The younger one joked, taking a peek inside to see that as had been speculated, the two guests were also hot women.

The woman was both indignant and embarrassed by the crass insinuation and spluttered "H-Hey, I'm not a stripper!"

"You are if you want to be! Don't be afraid to live the dream." Naruto encouraged, drawing snickers from the men.

The poor girl didn't know how to react and settled for glaring with a completely red face. She wanted to throw out a few choice insults, but it had been repeatedly drilled into her that she couldn't be impolite to the guests no matter what.

"Sorry about that, I like dirty jokes." Naruto told her with another grin after a few seconds of awkwardness.

"Here, take this." He said and handed her a wad of cash, which she took with wide eyes. She continued staring stupidly at the huge tip while Naruto handed them out to her two colleagues as well.

"Hey come on, lets go." The older of the two male bellhops said to her and touched her arm to snap her out of her daze.

"There's more money here than I'll make in a month." She said numbly.

"Well, you'll have to give half of that to the chefs, but I know what you mean. Naruto doesn't really pay attention to the size of his tips, that's why there's a waiting period between us bellhops on who gets to bring food up here. If this keeps up for a few months longer, I'll be able to buy my own house."

"And Kenta thinks they're demons because of the horns and the eyes and stuff?"

"Pretty much." Was the response, accompanied by a shrug. " We don't know what's up with that, but as far as we're concerned, there's just one less person in line for the huge tips, so it makes us happy and if Naruto _is_ a demon, then he's the nicest demon I've ever heard of, even if his grin makes me think of a velociraptor."

"Though, that wife of his….." The other one said with a dramatic shudder.

"I hear you man, She answered the door for me once and I felt like crapping my pants. Didn't get a tip that day either."

"I wonder what Naruto sees in her. He's such a cool guy and she's….well not to be rude, but she's a bit of a bitch." The last part was said in a barely audible whisper even though they were halfway down to the ground floor in the elevator already. The absolute last thing he wanted to do was offend the guy that was rapidly making him rich by insulting his wife.

"Well, I don't know what your girlfriend sees in you either, but it clearly has to be something." Was the philosophical response.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Karasuba was once more bemused as she observed the eating habits of everyone around her.

Naruto was true to his brutish appearance this time and apparently had no use for table manners, or else had never heard of the term. He ate much too quickly, slurped his soup right from the bowl, took large bites of everything, only bothered with utensils when it wasn't too inconvenient and appeared to take an absurd amount of pleasure in using his fanged teeth to murder the meat.

Xanna, whose imperious presence and appearance would make you think she would be well mannered while eating was only slightly better about it. Karasuba hadn't heard her crushing any chicken bones between her teeth yet anyway.

By contrast, Akitsu appeared highly cultured and ate gracefully, though it was possible that that was just a consequence of the fact that she liked doing things slowly. At a formal, high class dinner, she'd probably still stick out like a sore thumb, but when she was sitting next to the two food exterminators she might as well be royalty in the manners department.

Yashima, Haihane and Karasuba herself were somewhere in the middle, eating quickly but with passable manners. Rather a lot like most Sekirei actually.

"So, Haihane, how about you let me unwing you? A pretty girl like you shouldn't be bonded to a man that's more interested in sausages than melons." Naruto asked as the dinner wound down.

Haihane blushed slightly but still tried to defend her Ashikabi. "But Natsuo-sama is the leader of the Disciplinary Squad and besides…" She trailed off with her blush deepening slightly. She might not be as open about her infatuation with Natsuo as Benitsubasa, but she did still have feelings for him.

"Oh come on, you know those feelings are fake, if it wasn't for the bond you wouldn't look at him twice and the Disciplinary Squad isn't even needed anymore either." Naruto argued.

"Wait, what do you mean the Disciplinary Squad isn't needed anymore?" Karasuba interrupted.

"I meant exactly what I said, it's not needed anymore, it serves no further purpose, it is obsolete."

Karasuba opened her mouth to press for more information but Xanna took over the explanation. "What he means, is that the Sekirei Plan is defunct no matter what Minaka thinks. The only plans for the Sekirei that matter now are ours."

"Really?" Karasuba asked sceptically. She didn't particularly care about their plans for the Sekirei just like she hadn't cared about Minaka's. All she wanted was to fight and maybe see the world burn in the process.

"Really. Minaka is only alive because it will be amusing to watch him flounder uselessly." Xanna asserted.

Well, Karasuba could certainly appreciate that kind of viciousness, but that still didn't make the Disciplinary Squad unnecessary. "How does that make us unneeded? Sekirei and Ashikabi pairs will still try to escape the city and you'll need them here if you have your own plans for the Sekirei."

"No we don't and aren't you even going to ask what that plan is?" Naruto asked curiously.

"I wouldn't care even if you're intending to wipe us all out or use us for world domination, as long as you give me a good fight." Karasuba stated flatly, hands itching for her sword. She wanted the damn fight that she'd come here for already and she was getting impatient.

"You've found a real gem in this one husband." Xanna chuckled.

"I know, she's something else." Naruto agreed with a snicker, much to Karasuba's continued irritation. She kind of missed the days when everyone was scared shitless of her.

In a rare moment of reflection, she realised that the problem with having powerful people to fight was that they wouldn't hesitate to poke fun at you.

Akitsu lowered her head ever so slightly, feeling upset. She didn't want to be overshadowed by the Black Sekirei. It didn't seem fair to her that the more emotive Karasuba would take her place as the master's favorite. If she had been someone else, she would have sighed despondently, but as it was she just silently lamented her coming loss of position and reflected that it had been nice to be special for a little while.

And then suddenly she was being pulled into a one armed hug and spoken to in an admonishing tone. "None of that now Akitsu, you're not allowed to mope."

"Yes master." The ice Sekirei said, perking up as much as her unexpressive demeanor allowed, settled her head on his lap contently and closed her eyes when he started scratching her head.

"She's like a cat." Yashima muttered, getting amused nods from everyone except Karasuba, who was debating the merits of simply going with Plan B.

"So, how about that unwinging?" Naruto asked pointedly, staring at Haihane.

The Blue Sekirei fidgeted uncertainly. It was true that Natuso was as gay as anyone could get and had zero interest in any of his three Sekirei, which Haihane knew wasn't likely to change no matter how much Benitsubasa tried to convince herself otherwise. On top of that he didn't care about them as people either. To him, they were just part of the job.

"If it helps you make the decision, you should know that your reaction to him was artificially induced by Minaka."

"What?" Haihane asked in shock, her head snapping towards the horned blond. "How is that possible?"

"A lot of things are possible." Naruto responded blandly.

Haihane frowned, leaning heavily towards accepting his offer of unwinging in light of this new information. Naruto hadn't struck her as the type to lie and if he really wanted to, he could have simply unwinged her without permission like had been done to Yashima.

"Alright, unwing me."

Naruto grinned and did so, laying his hand across her chest, much to her embarrassment. "You wouldn't happen to be willing to call me onii-chan would you?"

"Maybe if you beat me at Mortal Kombat." She replied cheekily. He'd so far failed to do that spectacularly.

"Fair enough." Naruto agreed. "You'll be my little sister in no time."

"Now can we get to the fight already?" Karasuba growled, already sliding her new dragon bone hilt sword from its sheath.

"On a full stomach?"

Karasuba growled again. "You're stalling."

"Well, you're pretty cute when you're angry." Naruto responded with a grin, still petting Akitsu's head.

Karasuba's eyebrow was twitching in anger by now and the urge to simply attack him was becoming overwhelming. She was just about to do it when her sword suddenly refused to leave its sheath any further than it had already.

"Calm down and behave yourself." Xanna said mildly before commenting. "Such an ill mannered girl."

The Black Sekirei had to struggle mightily not to point out the fact that she and and Naruto were not in any position to talk about others being ill mannered considering their eating habits. Something was still telling her not to cross the horned woman. She had no fear of an enemy more powerful than her, but she didn't like the idea of dying without even a fight. Unlike Naruto, Xanna wasn't likely to humor her by fighting at her level.

"Not to worry Little Crow, you'll get your fight, just be patient." Naruto assured. "I hear patience is a virtue anyway."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Alright, now you'll be getting your long awaited fight." Naruto said as he and Karasuba stood on the roof of a random building.

"Well draw your sword already then." The Sekirei in question said impatiently, already holding her sword and pointing it at him.

"Don't be silly, we're not going to fight here, too many civilian casualties." Naruto scolded and continued to stand there with a contemplative expression. "I'm trying to think of what kind of environment to create for us."

"Just pick something already, it doesn't matter." Karasuba retorted. She'd honestly forgotten about his scruples with collateral damage.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Target is in sight, how about yours?" A man that had Naruto's forehead in the crosshair of his high powered sniper rifle spoke calmly.

They had both been rather miffed that they'd been too late to take their shots earlier, but the shot right now was as perfect as it could get. There was minimal wind, no bystanders and absolutely nothing that could foul up their shots.

"_Affirmative, I have a clear shot."_ The voice of the other man came clearly through his earpiece.

"Fire on my mark."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto needed only about a minute before he had the perfect idea and was just about to announce it to his impatient friend(and she was a friend now no matter how much she denied it), when a most unexpected event occurred.

A very large caliber sniper round crashed into his head and bounced off, snapping his head backwards from the unexpected force of it.

Something that should be noted about Naruto's body was that it was for all intents and purposes impervious to damage unless he willed it otherwise and the only time he lowered this absolute invulnerability was in a fight to make it interesting. After all, what kind of fight was it if you couldn't bleed? The perks of godhood.

Naruto aimed a contemplative look at the distant sniper that had previously slipped past his attention because he had quite frankly not been paying any attention. He actually didn't pay attention to his surroundings most of the time. It was no fun if you always knew what was going around you.

"Looks like we'll be postponing our fight for just a few minutes longer, but you're free to join me as I punish Minaka for being an idiot again. It's his fault that the fight has been delayed after all." As he spoke this he also took hold of the man's head with his mind and twisted it around to break his neck. Usually he disdained killing in such a fashion, but he really didn't feel like going over to stab the guy personally.

Karasuba had been surprised by the sudden sniper shot, then pissed at yet _another_ delay and now she was intrigued, but a question arose in her mind.

"What if it wasn't Minaka?"

"It was Minaka."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because Little Crow, it was Minaka even if it wasn't Minaka."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

_At the same time_.

Xanna's hand suddenly lashed out at impossible speed and snatched the bullet right out of the air. She'd sensed the killing intent focused solely on her some time ago and sped up her perception of time just before the assassin had fired.

"Mistress?" Akitsu asked with concealed alarm, having turned swiftly as she heard the bullet going through the window. Yashima ran into the room right after, having also heard the noise.

"An assassin with a sniper rifle. Silenced, high caliber, armor piercing rounds." Xanna said, idly observing the bullet. It was very large, spiked instead of rounded, made of extremely dense material and rather heavy. "No doubt another of Minaka's attempts to take back control."

Negligently, she flicked the bullet back at the sniper who had moved elsewhere by now, propelling it at only half of its previous speed to prevent overpenetration. Just like Naruto, she refused to kill by accident.

"Are you going to go after Minaka now?" Yashima asked curiously.

"No, it is my husband's turn to play with that idiot."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minaka was waiting anxiously for news of a successful assassination, not that he would admit to being anxious to anyone. As the game master, he had to maintain a veneer of confident aloofness and regal authority!

"You just can't help yourself can you?"

Minaka spun around in a whirl of white cloth and beheld a most disturbing sight. It was the very man that was supposed to be assassinated and even worse, he'd been found in his new and super secure hidden office! Had he always been that big or did it just seem that way in person?

Oddly enough, he had Karasuba with him as well.

"How did you find me here Naruto-san?"

"Godmode…" Naruto paused to loudly crack his neck to one side. "motherfucker. Now, are you ready for the consequences of your actions?"

"Karasuba, if you could please remove Naruto-san?" Minaka said, hiding just how nervous he was. Considering his suspicions that Karasuba had in fact lost to the horned man once already, he was grasping at straws here.

"No, thanks to you our fight was delayed _again_. I'm just here to see what he does to you." The Black Sekirei refused.

"But you're on the Disciplinary Squad!" Minaka protested.

"I quit." She replied dismissively, to Minaka's horror. In the end, her 'loyalty' to MBI had always been paper thin and her bond to Natsuo was so weak that it could barely even be called a bond. All it took to subvert her was the promise of good battles and that was something that Naruto could very easily provide.

At this point, Naruto had produced an old fashioned razor blade and inspected it critically before looking towards Minaka. "That's a lot of hair you've got there, so I'm going to do you a favor and shave it off. Mind you, I've never used one of these before and I've made the blade very, _very_ sharp, so try not to move too much."

Several minutes later, Minaka had his head shaved bald and was sporting quite a few bloody cuts across his scalp. One of them had been deep enough that Naruto had needed to heal it quickly to prevent constant bleeding.

"Are you sure this is all you're going to do to him?" Karasuba asked in disappointment, much to Minaka's alarm. "It seems pretty weak compared to what your wife did."

"Well my wife can be quite a bit meaner than me, but I figured you'd want to get your own shots in too so I restrained myself."

Karasuba blinked before a grin slowly spread across her face and she took her sword out.

"Now remember, no killing. Xanna and I figure that he probably still has at least one or two acts of stupidity in him."

"Well, I never did get to cut your balls off…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Well, this is certainly a lot different than the last time we were here." Karasuba commented as she looked around Naruto's personal dimension.

Instead of a freezing cold castle high in the mountains, this time it was a lush jungle, dense and humid. She could already feel sweat prickling along her skin because of the heat and soggy air. The trees were massive and had branches that were more than thick enough to fight on. The foliage was also so thick that visibility was going to be close to zero if you made even a few leaps to adjacent trees

"That's not the only thing that's going to be different." Naruto said, calling Karasuba's attention back to himself.

She turned just fast enough to see his sword transforming into a larger than average naginata with a black pole that she just knew was going to be indestructable and a long, thick blade with backwards facing spikes along the back of it.

"I've never personally used one of these before, but I've always been curious what it was like to fight with a polearm. This is a good a time as any to try it out." Naruto explained and twirled his new weapon around a few times to get a feel for it.

"How the hell did your sword just change shape?" Karasuba demanded.

"My Kusanagi is a sacred instrument of the heavens, it can do many things." Naruto declared grandly. "Or if you want the technical answer…..fuck you, that's how."

Karasuba's face turned into a glare and she released all of the pent up aggression that had been building up in her for a good long while by launching herself at him with a vicious swing.

Naruto blocked by placing the pole of his naginata into the path of her swing, but Karasuba surprised him by sliding her blade along it, forcing him to quickly let go with one hand or lose fingers.

Off balanced and unfamiliar with his weapon, he was placed entirely on the defensive as the Black Sekirei continued with her assault. Hashirama had had only a passing familiarity with this weapon type, leaving him mostly on his own.

It was good enough that he was able to keep blocking as he retreated for the next few minutes. Eventually he got a good enough feel for how the weapon handled that he was able to do more than just block with the pole.

Getting an idea, he jumped up to one of the three branches and harrassed the pursuing Karasuba with short slashing and stabbing attacks. The massive reach of the polearm prevented her from instantly counterattacking and the narrow tree root prevent all attempts to flank him.

Getting an idea, Naruto started rapidly spinning his weapon in a figure eight pattern and advanced towards her.

Scowling, Karasuba chose to cut through the branch they were standing on instead of attempting to attack him through that. Since she was the one standing on the part of it closer to the tree, Naruto went plummeting towards the ground, though he jumped off the falling branch and on a new one.

Karasuba blasted several air blades towards him, which he easily countered with an air vortex created by spinning his naginata, looking amused.

"You're never going to tag me with one of those Little Crow."

Karasuba panted lightly and discarded her haori. It was too damn hot in this jungle, she already felt terribly sticky under her clothing and all this activity certainly wasn't helping to cool her down.

She glared up at the smugly smirking blond, who didn't look winded or bothered by the heat in the slightest, he wasn't even sweating. Suddenly she got an idea as she realised that the narrow branches favored his much longer weapon even if he was less skilled with it than with a sword.

Naruto's eyebrows rose when Karasuba charged right at the base of the tree on whose branch he was standing on and cut it clean through. When he jumped to another tree, she just cut through that one as well.

After the sixth tree fell and something of a clearing full of gigantic felled trees had been formed, Naruto figured that she wasn't going to stop imitating a lumberjack until he got down on the ground. With that in mind, he jumped down on the ground staring evenly at the panting and smirking Karasuba.

She launched herself at him without warning once again, but he'd expected something like that and had no trouble blocking her. They fought across the ground, both being careful of their footing and rapidly destroying the massive trunks of the felled trees.

Karasuba was frustrated. Naruto had gained proficiency with his weapon entirely too fast for her liking and he now had little trouble holding her off. She knew that a naginata had enough similarities with a sword that a master of one might be able to learn the other with only minimal difficulty but it was still irritating. On top of that, the climate was sapping her strength faster and faster as her body overheated. Something, she irritably realised, that Naruto had likely planned on to give himself an edge while he was yet unfamiliar with the naginata. Considering the fact that the temperature didn't seem to be affecting in the slightest, she felt quite sure that her assumption was correct.

Not that she was going to utter a peep over any of her grievances. Nothing was ever fair and she wouldn't complain like a whiny kid over the fact that he'd deliberately placed her in a disadvantageous situation.

He was already getting more aggressive now that he was more familiar with the workings of his new weapon, prodding at her defenses and forcing her to react to him instead of the other way around. Even worse, he'd figured out how to incorporate his martial arts into his attacks, sneaking a kick or punch on her any time that he was close enough.

And then suddenly, an infuriatingly simple but entirely unexpected problem arose that hindered her further. Her hair, sticky with sweat, slapped over her eyes and limited her visibility in the middle of her swing.

Naruto took advantage of her botched attack instantly, trapping her nodachi in the spikes of his naginata and twisted and pulled it in an attempt to rip it out of her hands.

Karasuba recovered from the momentary irritation quickly, but not quickly enough to save her sword from getting caught in the spikes and was forced to step forward or lose it.

Naruto had another course of action open to him now however and took it. The Black Sekirei had stepped within range of his feet and he lashed out with a direct blow that would strike her chest if she didn't evade it.

Unable to free her sword in time, Karasuba could either let go of her sword or attempt to move to the side. Naturally she moved to the side, but this weakened her hold further and gave Naruto all the advantage he needed to twist the sword away from her hands and send it sailing into the undergrowth.

Naruto grinned at her and threw the Kusanagi into one of the fallen trees, impaling it there. Then he proceeded to give Karasuba a gesture that was known and hated by all.

The upturned palm and 'come at me' gesture.

Scowling and panting harshly now, Karasuba got into a martial arts stance of her own and attacked. She was primarily a sword user but her hand to hand was plenty good enough to take down just about any Fist type Sekirei out there, since none of them were single digits. Benitsubasa was actually the only one that she knew of that might give her a little bit of trouble. Well…there was also Musubi, but the scatter brained #88 wasn't quite there yet.

It didn't mean a damn thing against Naruto, who took her apart in hand to hand as if she was fighting drunk. He pulled his punches a lot, but it was beyond obvious that she wasn't anywhere close to his level in this kind of fight. All of her attacks were shunted aside and every tiny mistake was exploited. Her defenses were easily overcome because she didn't have a good grasp on how to defend her feet(or attack with them for that matter).

After an embarrassingly short fight for Karasuba, her back hit a tree that was actually still standing. The tree surprised her when the wood warped to grab at her wrists and raised her hands above her head and to the sides. Meanwhile, Naruto had already stepped close and pushed himself into her so that he was standing between her legs and keeping her in the air with his hips.

"You lose again." He told her with a grin, keeping his hands at her sides, but not touching her.

Karasuba merely glared at him. She just _knew_ that he was waiting for her to accuse him of cheating. He _had_ cheated, but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of saying it. He could have also simply overwhelmed her with his speed and strength or with a host of other things, so there was no point in complaining over the fact that he'd made an environment that would work against her so heavily.

"You smell pretty tasty right now." He purred into her air and ran his tongue slowly over her sweaty neck. He wasn't talking about just her sweat though, as the scent of her arousal was just as strong as it had been the last time they'd fought.

Karasuba clenched her jaw firmly shut to prevent any kind of sound from escaping her mouth, though a harsh series of exhales through her nose still betrayed her arousal, but she couldn't do anything about that. While he'd leaned in to lick her neck he'd also pressed his groin right into hers and since she was wearing her typical first generation Disciplinary Squad miniskirt(which had ridden up her thighs as he pushed forward), he was basically rubbing his erection right over her soaked panties.

"I noticed that you didn't ask me to unwing you when I did it for Haihane." Naruto commented idly, still giving her neck the occasional slow lick. "Do you want to stay bonded to that Natsuo fellow?"

"Nooo-gh." Karasuba's teeth actually clicked together slightly because of how fast she'd shut her mouth to keep herself from moaning out the answer. She was absolutely not going to moan like a sex starved nympho just because she was hovering near the edge of an orgasm from the fight, the neck licking and feeling his erect member rubbing her through her panties.

"You'd like me to set you free then?" He asked further, lightly grabbing rubbing her sides with his hands and flicking his tongue over her earlobe.

Karasuba had to forcibly stop her traitorous hips from attempting to buck towards him so that she could rub herself over his erection more firmly. She panted heavily for several seconds before quickly spitting out a 'yes' and clenching her jaw shut again.

"Alright then."

She barely felt it when the weak bond was snapped, mostly due to the fact that it was barely there in the first place, but also because Naruto had pressed himself into her even more firmly, leaving her panting rapidly and feeling as if the pressure in her loins was about to burst any second now.

"Looks like someone already tried to fix the damage." Naruto murmured to himself. It was interesting, because Minaka had no idea about this.

Though Karasuba heard his low mutter, she didn't understand a word of it, being far too preoccupied with her out of control arousal. She didn't even notice that her legs had wrapped around his waist and pulled him into her as much as possible.

"Was there something you wanted Little Crow?" Naruto asked mildly, looking at her widely dilated pupils.

Instead of answering, she clenched her legs around him with all of her strength and harshly slammed her mouth on top of his. That proved to be the final straw and her orgasm exploded out of her, making her scream into his mouth and reflexively attempt to pull her hands out of their bindings so that she could claw at his back. She wouldn't have been able to unclench her legs at that point even if she had wanted to, as the force of her orgasm(her first one as a matter of fact) compelled her to attempt drawing them together.

"If you tried to wing yourself on me just now, then I'm afraid I have to disappoint you. I can't wing any Sekirei." He told her with just a small hint of a grin.

Karasuba's head rested on the tree behind her as she took deep breaths and stared at him with unfocused eyes for a few moments before they rolled back into her head and she passed out.

"Well, that was unexpected." Naruto said to himself. He hadn't thought that the fearsome Black Sekirei would pass out after one orgasm, especially since they hadn't even gotten into the heavy foreplay, much less any actual sex. He'd been planning to leave her hanging again, but after seeing just how extreme her arousal had been, he'd have felt like a real asshole if he did it. Well...a bigger asshole than usual anyway.

"Though…." He said musingly to himself and looked down on his pants, which were completely soaked in her release. "It _was_ one hell of an orgasm."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Karasuba woke up slowly, which was odd in the first place since she usually woke up instantly.

The first thing she noticed was that she felt…..strangely mellow. She was rather used to going around feeling tense all the time so this bizzare lethargy was new to her.

At that point she recalled what had happened. She'd fought Naruto again, he'd set her up to lose and she had, then he'd broken her bond to Natsuo, at which point her body had had enough of her shit and stopped listening to her.

She vaguely remembered him saying that he couldn't wing her after she'd come down from her orgasmic high, but that didn't matter to her. It wouldn't get in the way of fighting him again.

Taking a look around, Karasuba determined that she was in one of the empty bedrooms of the penthouse and judging by the darkness outside it was still night time.

Another thing that she noticed was that she felt clean instead of sweaty, which meant that Naruto or one of the others must have washed her while she'd been passed out. She didn't really know how she felt about that, so she stopped thinking about it. Her usual clothing was folded neatly on the table, also apparently cleaned of sweat since it didn't reek and her sword was placed next to it.

The sword that Naruto had made for her. A beautiful weapon far surpassing her old one in quality.

Thoughts of Naruto brought up a confusing jumble of emotions and impressions.

She was angry at him for the way he'd played her, made her pant like a wanton slut that couldn't wait to get taken. More than that, she was angry at him for the way that he'd gotten her so turned on that her self control had shattered to pieces and left her lust in control of her body.

But she was also happy. He wasn't like Miya, who'd cast her sword aside in favor of a broom and seemed content to sweep her porch and pretend that she didn't have an ocean of blood on her hands. He wasn't like Yume, prattling on about love and sacrificing her life to save one tiny, weak little Sekirei. He'd always be there, always be strong and willing to give her the battle she wanted so much.

She needed to think and she couldn't do it here, where there were so many people already and where he'd be so close. Decision made, she got dressed, belted on her sword and leaped out the window.

She'd have to find somewhere to stay since she doubted that MBI would be bankrolling her anymore, especially in light of the fact that she'd castrated its president not very long ago, but that was hardly an issue. She knew how to care of herself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto's gold-orange gaze was contemplative as he observed Karasuba jumping at a leasurely pace across the city rooftops.

"You'll be back Little Crow, the answers aren't out there and you're too confused to find them yourself." He murmured to himself.

He was actually a clone, the original being busy cuddling his wife, the lucky bastard. Xanna would be quite put out with him if he left their bed so that he could stare after Karasuba and make ominous statements to no one in particular.

He made frequent use of clones to observe the situation in the city and break up any Sekirei battles they encountered. Occasionally he also had to kill one, such as #13 Amebane the other night. That little punk had been a right lunatic and his Ashikabi had been such a shy and weak willed girl that she wasn't capable of asserting any authority despite the fact that she was supposed to have all the power in that relationship. In light of all that, he'd killed him and burned the body to nothing, leaving the tearful girl to go home.

Yashima's situation had thankfully been unique apparently, otherwise there would already be several extra Sekirei inhabiting rooms in the hotel, though he knew there were a couple of other Ashikabi who would be losing their lives soon enough. The most notable of them were the so called Ashikabi of the East and South, an idiotic moniker if ever there was one. Neither one of them thought of their Sekirei as anything other than tools or collectible items respectively, but they weren't actively abused. This was fortunate, since it allowed him to act slowly instead of instantly crashing the party and making a bloody mess out of them. Each of them had a few psychos in their group of Sekirei that would need to be dealt with, but the situation was stable for now and without Minaka as a factor to screw everything up, it would stay stable.

The only thing Minaka was good for was a deterrent to prevent any outside forces from attempting any kidnappings. The rest of the world wasn't aware of the fact that he and Xanna were here or how much more dangerous they were than MBI, so Minaka still had that one use. Well that and as a source of amusement. The only thing that the mad CEO had been right about was that Sekirei should stay in the city limits for now.

Karasuba might have been wrong in her assumption that he needed the Sekirei to stay in the city, but it _would_ make it easier for certain, which was why he'd placed discrete seals at every exit that would give any Sekirei or bonded Ashikabi a serious case of confusion and make them turn right back around. Devious perhaps, but he didn't feel like slaughtering any foreign search and capture teams that wanted to get their paws on a Sekirei or two.

"Uzumaki-san." The cool, polite voice made him smile slightly. This one was so much like Kakashi that it was ridiculous. All he needed was a different haircut, a scar over his left eye and the eye itself to be replaced with a Sharingan.

"Homura." He greeted back.

"May I ask what you are doing here?" The fire Sekirei asked warily, not too shocked that his name was known.

"Just keeping an eye on one of my projects." He answered, gesturing to the barely visible Karasuba in the distance.

Homura peered at the silver haired figure in the distance, sucking in a breath when he recognized the Disciplinary Squad haori over her shoulders.

"Karasuba." He hissed.

"Yes, quite the interesting one."

"More like a bloodthirsty psychopath." Homura scoffed.

"Look beyond the darkness and you will find a new shadow." Naruto responded ominously.

"What?" Homura asked, frowning in confusion as he tried to decipher that cryptic statement.

"It's the middle of the night and I feel like making portentous statements." He explained.

"So….what? Beneath her bloodthirsty psychopath persona she's also a sadist?"

Naruto snickered at the sarcastic question. He wasn't going to try to make Karasuba seem cuddly and approachable because she really wasn't, but willful ignorance was rarely a good thing. "I thought you'd appreciate her sadistic side, considering she castrated Minaka less than six hours ago."

After Homura's instinctive wince of male sympathy, an unstoppable grin bloomed on his face, even as he questioned the event. "But she's on the Disciplinary Squad, why would she do that?"

"You're behind the times Sparky, there is no more Disciplinary Squad. I've unwinged both Haihane and Karasuba today and Haihane is already living with me. Karasuba went off to do some soul searching but I expect that she'll be back in a few days, probably pissed off and demanding answers."

Now Homura was stunned speechless, enough that he didn't even register the nickname. This guy…..was seriously not screwing around.

"But enough about that, how's your core doing?"

Once again, Homura was thrown severely off balance. Casually mentioning his little problem, which was actually a really huge problem, as if it was common knowledge would do that to a guy.

"What do you know about my core?" Homura asked defensively.

"Unstable energy matrix, causes your powers to flare out of control and it's getting worse. Caused by MBI adjustors meddling about with your genes and Sekirei Core for experimentation purposes at Minaka's order." Naruto revealed blandly.

"WHAT?" Homura shouted, having not known that last part.

"Not so loud, people are sleeping." Naruto admonished and then asked in a puzzled tone. "Why else do you think this would be happening to you?"

"I thought it was because I had the cursed power of fire." Homura said, making a fireball in his hand.

"What are you, retarded?" Naruto asked bluntly, making the bishounen Sekirei flush. "How does that sound more logical than a bunch of crackpot scientists screwing around with things they don't understand? I wonder how you even manage to put your pants on in the morning if you're this much of an idiot."

"Alright, I get it!" Homura snapped with an angry blush, not wanting have his gullible stupidity pointed out any more.

"Besides, that's not cursed fire, _this_ is cursed fire." Naruto added, making a ball of black Amaterasu flames over his hand.

Homura stared at the incredibly hot flames as if transfixed, having never seen black fire before. "You can control fire too?"

"I'm a god, I can do just about anything."

"Right, a god." Homura muttered.

"Take a look at the moon, oh ye of little faith."

Confused, Homura did as he was told, staring up at the nearly full moon. All of a sudden it seemed to catch fire and develop a dark slit down the middle until it was a perfect reflection of Naruto's eye. The rest of his face soon followed until it hung in the sky and grinned down at Homura and vanished a few seconds later.

"That slackjawed look somehow never gets old." Especially since the whole thing had been in Homura's head. Genjutsu for the win. He was just a clone after all and it was kind of late to be making annoyingly loud thunderstorms anyway.

"I should probably be getting back." The fire Sekirei muttered for lack of anything else to say. He'd been having remarkably little work to do lately, something that he suspected was the doing of this horned enigma.

"Be sure to tell Uzume that I can heal too."

Homura started again, surprised once more by his apparent knowledge of where he lived and his housemates.

"Why would you want me to tell her that specifically." He asked suspiciously.

"It's a mystery." Naruto shrugged unhelpfully.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**There we go, number four.**

**Several people have mentioned wanting a poll for the next universe, but that just isn't going to happen. For one thing I don't know allthat many universes to begin with and for another, I only write about stuff that I've got ideas about. If I let you guys pick some random universe, I might not have anything to write about.**

**And now, please review :P.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Guest: It is not in fact the longest period that I have ever taken to update. There was that one time that it took me 18 days to do it. Rest assured that I'll try to inform people in advance if I end up dead…..unless of course I ****_can't_**** for some reason in which case you'll have to assume xD.**

**I think that is all, so please enjoy.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Takami woke up and immediately needed to resist the urge to grimace at the stinging pain over her left eye, knowing that it would only make it worse. That crazy bitch Yomi had nearly taken her eye and MBI's doctors had insisted on putting her under for surgery because there was still a dangerously high risk that she would lose it anyway. What the hell was that brat of an Ashikabi thinking, attacking her in broad daylight so that he could forcibly wing an eight year old Sekirei?

"Good morning Takami-chan!" The irritatingly familiar voice grated on her ears. She'd forgotten that her idiot boss was hospitalized too, though he was in for being turned into a eunuch by Naruto and Karasuba, rather than something more dignified.

Wait a minute…morning?

"What time is it?" She demanded without responding to his greeting.

"It is precisely 09:42 in the morning."

Takami scowled, despite the pain it caused her freshly stitched over eye. There was a doctor that would be losing their job as soon as she had time to fire him. She'd specifically instructed that she be woken up as soon as the surgery was finished, despite his insistence that she could still lose her eye if she didn't rest.

"Where is Kusano?" She'd also instructed that the child Sekirei be retrieved before anyone could make another attempt to wing her forcibly.

"Still in the botanical garden of course! Truly a marvelous development, it has all the makings of a grand event!" Minaka said grandiosely.

"What?" Takami hissed furiously. "I ordered that she be retrieved!"

"I canceled that order and stationed troops to guard the entrances until the start of the event. I intend to let all the Ashikabi know that she is there soon to create some competition for her winging, it should be interesting."

"Are you out of your fucking mind?!" Takami howled at him. "Wasn't it enough that you got your balls cut off? Are you _trying_ to piss Uzumaki off or has it just slipped your mind that every time you do something, it backfires horribly?"

"Severe setbacks to be sure, but I am already looking into ways to counter them and the Sekirei Plan absolutely _must_ continue." Minaka insisted seriously.

"She's just a child!"

"She's a Sekirei."

Minaka's dismissive attitude towards the Sekirei never failed to piss her off, but the fact that Kusano was only eight years old made it much worse than usual.

"I'm going to get Kusano out of there." She said abrutly and got out of the bed, seeing that as usual, there was no use trying to reason with him. He'd apparently lost the last few marbles that he'd still had in his head when Naruto and his wife had decided to wreck his plans. He didn't even have the wits to know when he was standing in the way of an unstoppable force. The fact that all the tracking devices had stopped working at the same time had been a far bigger proof of power to her than the lightning storm. If they could do that as well as shrug off high powered sniper rounds to the head, then there was very little leverage that anyone could use pressure them with. Takami wasn't too thrilled at letting the horned duo do as they pleased but she could see that it was better than what Minaka had planned. The insane idiot would drive the Sekirei race into extinction with his delusions.

"The soldiers guarding her have already been instructed not to let anyone in, especially not you." Minaka piped up. "I cannot let you get in the way of the Sekirei Plan Takami-chan."

Fuming, the silver haired woman stomped out without responding, her injured eye throbbing painfully under the bandages in response to her anger as she started muttering a litany of curses aimed at Minaka. She wouldn't be able to get past the soldiers if Minaka had ordered them not to let her in and even if she did, all it would take was one Sekirei to find her and she wouldn't be able to protect the Green Girl.

Usually she would go to Homura about this, but he was just one person. He wouldn't be able to protect her if a horde of hostile Sekirei came after her, which was exactly what would most likely happen.

But she knew one person that would have no trouble at all with any of that. She didn't like doing this, because she was quite certain that Kusano would not be returning to the labs to finish her adjusting if Naruto got his claws on her, but it was better than the alternative. Besides, he and his wife were probably far more capable of making changes to the Sekirei's bodies than MBI's scientists, if what they'd done so far was any indication.

She just hoped that she was doing the right thing, because she was far from certain that telling Naruto about a cute young girl that needed someone to take care of her was a good idea.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The unexpected ringing of the phone drew the perplexed eyes of everyone in th hotel room. None of them could think of any reason for someone to be calling them.

Shrugging to himself, Naruto picked it up.

"Sex toy testing center, how may I help you?" Haihane giggled, Yashima was embarrassed, Xanna was indifferent and Akitsu…looked interested.

There was a short pause on the other and, the caller clearly thrown a bit by the off color greeting before they responded.

"Cut the crap Uzumaki, there's no time for it and I'm not in the mood." Takami snapped.

"That's the problem with assholes like me…..they never care whether you're in the mood or not, the bastards." Naruto responded with a highly convincing sympathetic tone.

Takami had obviously been having a very stressful time ever since she woke up, not to mention that the still fresh injury over her eye was making her mood even fouler, but she just barely managed to calm herself down.

Though the reluctance in her voice was obvious, she went on. She was still deeply leery of this course of action, but she knew that the most likely candidates for winging Kusano would be either the Ashikabi of the South or East and both of them were far worse options than Naruto."There's something you should know."

"You're horny as hell and need me to put out your bonfire? I'd be happy to, but you'll need to refrain from smoking, those things are murder on my sense of smell."

"No, you horndog! There's a young Sekirei, Kusano, trapped in the Botanical Garden and there will probably be other Sekirei coming to drag her off to be forcibly winged soon. I'm not happy with the idea of a pervert like you taking her in, but it's the lesser of two evils."

"How did this situation even happen I wonder?" Naruto asked musingly, giving a nod to Xanna and teleporting away.

He knew of young Kusano and had been considering getting her out of the labs soon either way. She was the one of the last Sekirei still in the labs and Takami kept close watch on her. There were others who needed help more and he liked to do things one at a time. Though in light of her age, he would have taken her in the very instant that she was released.

"Never mind that now, just save her." Takami said impatiently.

"I'm already making my way through this lovely new forest, you might as well tell me what happened."

"Kusano wanted to go outside, so I took her to the park. We got attacked by #43 Yomi and her Ashikabi. I got injured and Kusano panicked when he tried to wing her, which is how that 'lovely new forest' sprung up. I ordered that Kusano be safely retrieved before I went in for surgery, but Minaka countermanded me. By now he's probably already sent out e-mails to every Ashikabi in the city."

"That man just never learns." Naruto sighed and shook his head. "I'll save her, but you owe me a striptease for this one."

The line went dead, Takami having hung up without dignifying that with a response.

"Oh yeah, she wants me." Naruto affirmed to himself with a snicker and chucked the phone into a random direction, before staring that way for a few seconds longer. "Wait, that was the hotel phone…which we use to order room service. I should not have done that."

Deciding that the young girl was a bigger priority than the phone, he ambled off towards the proper direction.

It didn't take him long to find the girl huddled up in a tree, clearly too scared to make her way down.

She was the very epitome of cute with her bright green eyes, little white dress and messy blonde hair.

"Kuu-chan?" He said gently. He wasn't much for honorifics, but the girl would be scared enough of his appearance that every little bit would count. He _could_ just change his appearance, but it was better to just get it over with as soon as possible.

The young Sekirei started, clearly having trouble staying conscious. She probably hadn't slept much. When she caught sight of him, her eyes widened and she tried to hide even further up the tree, obviously frightened.

"It's ok sweetie, I'm not here to hurt you. Takami asked me to get you out of here." He continued in the same gentle tone.

"Takami-nee?" She asked hopefully.

"She's alright." Naruto assured, guessing that the young girl had been worried about her caretaker. "Why don't you come down from there?"

"I can't. It's too high, I'm scared." Kusano said tearfully.

"I'll come and get you then." He said with a grin and levitated up to her.

Kusano made an amazed 'ooooh' sound when she saw him lift off the ground. "You're flying!"

"Yes, yes I am." He agreed. "My name is Naruto by the way, forgot to mention that earlier."

"Are you a Sekirei too?" The young girl asked, having always been told that only Sekirei had special powers.

"No, not a Sekirei." He answered, amused. "I wanted to ask if you'd like to be my little sister, you look like you could use a big brother to take care of you."

"An onii-chan?" Kusano repeated, sounding very happy with the idea. She'd only learned about big brothers from the TV and from her interaction with Shiina, but she knew that having a big brother was a very good thing. Something inside her was telling her that she already had a big brother waiting for her somewhere out there, but the long distance reaction to Sahashi Minato was too weak to influence her decision.

"Yeah, jump over here if you'd like that." Naruto said, holding out his arms so that she could easily jump to him.

Hesitating only long enough to think about it for a second and check her footing, she jumped into his arms.

"Good girl, now sit tight and grab on to my horns." Naruto instructed, placing the cute little girl on his shoulders and using his hair to grab her so that she didn't fall.

"Onii-chan, your hair is acting weird!" Kusano warned in childish alarm even as she did as she was told and grabbed his horns.

"Don't worry about it." He assured amusedly and lowered himself back to the ground. "It's just to make sure you don't fall. How's the view up there?"

"It's like being in a tree! You're so big onii-chan!" She responded enthusiastically, having taken only a few seconds to deduce that she was being allowed to 'steer' him and having lots of fun doing so.

"And you're such a cutie. How can someone as cute as you even exist?"

Kusano giggled happily, inadvertantly causing flowers to bloom everywhere.

"Oh, so you'd like to play at who can make the prettier flowers huh?" Naruto asked teasingly. "Take a look at this."

Upon saying that, the ground bloomed into a riot of colorful flowers, most of which had no business being there.

"Pretty." Kusano said dreamily, staring at the new flower field.

While she was distracted, Naruto made a quick examination of her core and frowned. He'd never seen this kind of thing happening to a Sekirei Core, but if the weak chakra stream going outwards from her was any judge, she was reacting to someone.

_She's much too young for that._ He thought to himself and locked her bonding ability, as well as gently putting her to sleep. There were several other things about her core that needed attention, but there was no time for it right now. He could already feel the approach of several people, one of them extraordinarily hostile. Figuring that he might as well meet them, he stood there and waited patiently with the tiny Sekirei sleeping on his head.

"….is that little brat?!" A female voice was saying angrily, clearly searching for Kusano and annoyed about it.

"She's bound to be around here somewhere." A much calmer male voice answered.

"We'd better find her soon, or I just might cut off a limb for making us search for her like this."

"Hayato-sama specifically ordered us to bring her back unharmed Yomi."

"I know that already Mutsu, just shut up!"

At about this point the duo had reached Naruto and stopped in surprise at seeing their quarry sleeping on his head.

"Who the hell are you?" Yomi demanded, brandishing her scythe and already planning to kill the horned weirdo.

Naruto raised an eyebrow and noted that the southern Ashikabi apparently didn't have much in the way of intelligence gathering if he wasn't known to them already.

"Why are you so hellbent on dragging Kusano over to your brat of an Ashikabi? She's just a little girl."

"Don't insult Hayato-sama you bastard! He told us to bring her to him and that's what we're going to do!" Yomi howled angrily, pointing her scythe at him. "Hand her over and maybe I won't cut your legs off you pervert."

For once, Naruto refrained from going on a tangent over being called a pervert. He could clearly sense that Yomi was intending to kill him no matter what he did and this seemed to be her default setting. She wasn't like Karasuba who lived for a good fight, Yomi was simply a psycho that enjoyed hurting and killing people, just like that Amebane guy he'd killed the other night.

That was a strangely common occurrence among Sekirei. All of the former Disciplinary Squad was just a shade more restrained than that. They all enjoyed a good fight, but didn't feel the same need of killing that Yomi and those like her seemed to feel.

Something to be explored later, it made for an interesting mystery.

"We both know that you're lying Yomi, you're planning to kill me either way." He answered, his tone amused. "And no, I won't be handing Kusano over so that your immature, bed wetting, spoiled punk of an Ashikabi can enslave her."

By the time that Naruto was finished, Yomi was so angry that she couldn't even speak and simply launched herself at him with deadly intent, her scythe arcing through the air in such a way that it would cut through his neck, not even caring that Kusano would also be killed by such a blow.

"Yomi no!" Mutsu shouted urgently.

Usually, he would have been the one doing the talking, but something about this horned man was making him incredily wary, aside from his demonic appearance that was, and he'd been trying to figure it out. He knew a dangerous man when he saw one and this one was very dangerous indeed. Years of Sekirei superiority told him that he was no match for them, but the unease remained.

Before he could come to any conclusions Yomi jumped into the attack and his warning was too late to stop her….not that she was very likely to listen in any case.

Before she made it anywhere close to her target, Naruto summoned the Kusanagi, still shaped like a naginata, and drove the thick blade of the polearm through her heart, suspending her in the air with blood rapidly trickling down the blade and pole. Mutsu had only had enough time to grab hold of his sword, but every instinct was screaming at him not to attack.

"What a waste. Such a pretty girl and such an ugly spirit." He murmured to himself as the blond scythe user looked at him with disbelieving, pained eyes as she died.

"Are we going to have a problem Mutsu?" He asked the male Sekirei mildly, still holding the recently dead Yomi in the air.

A bead of sweat trickling down his face, Mutsu struggled to remain calm as he very slowly let go of the sword. This was just as bad as the last time he'd spoken to Miya, when she'd threatened to cut him into chunks if he darkened her doorstep with the Sekirei Plan, all with an eerily pleasant smile on her face.

"My Ashikabi ordered me to retrieve the Green Girl….." He admitted, tensing when the gold-orange gaze narrowed with a silent threat and hastily continued. "…..but I'm sure he'll understand that it was impossible."

He didn't for a moment doubt that the horned man was capable of killing him faster than thought even if he still had Yomi's corpse impaled on his weapon like a macabre trophy.

"I can unwing you." Naruto mentioned casually, causing Mutsu to freeze in shock just as he'd been about to walk away very carefully. "I know that you got winged to that little punk by accident, so I figured that you might want to get unwinged."

Mutsu had no idea how the horned man knew that he'd accidentally drank from the same glass as Hayato at a social function that Minaka had been hosting years ago and ended up getting winged, but it hardly mattered right now.

"Be that as it may, I've come to act like a big brother to him and wouldn't wish to abandon him now." Mutsu answered slowly, after nearly half a minute of silence as he deliberated the offer.

"As you wish." Naruto said flippantly, adding an uncaring shrug. "Do be sure to warn him that his time is running out though. My wife has already called dibs on him and if he resists her in any way, she's going to kill him."

"What does your wife want with him?" Mutsu asked worriedly.

"Research." Naruto answered with a grin, turning back towards the corpse on his naginata and disintegrating it. Useful clean up ability that.

Mutsu was even more nervous at the unhelpful(not to mention worrying) answer and demonstration of power.

"You'd better go now, I'm about to have new visitors."

Mutsu left quickly, being well aware that this was less of a suggestion than it was a demand and knowing that he wouldn't be getting anything more than that one vague hint.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sahashi Minato was worried, very worried.

When he and Seo had first come into this forest, he'd had a vague hint about where to find the child Sekirei that was hidden inside it, being able to follow a nebulous feeling that drew him in a certain direction. But that had suddenly cut off and they found themselves stumbling forward blindly. Musubi had already caught up to them so now it was him, Seo, Musubi and the thunder twins looking for a little girl in a big forest.

He feared that suddenly losing that sense of direction that led him to her meant that someone had already winged her by force. He was fairly sure that she had been reacting to him and he didn't want some unscrupulous Ashikabi to wing her against her will. Musubi had been quite vocal on the subject of Sekirei needing to be winged by the one that they reacted to and it sounded bad if one were to be winged by force.

All of his worried thoughts on the subject screeched to a grinding halt when he suddenly beheld the sight of the very Sekirei they'd been searching for, fast asleep on someone's head.

That in and of itself wouldn't be too terrible if this someone was not a towering blond that looked more demon than man. The bloodied naginata he was holding wasn't very comforting eaither.

"There she is Minato-sama! The Sekirei that was reacting to you!" Musubi announced the obvious with her usual enthusiasm, not even registering anything strange about finding a horned man there.

Minato froze when the predatory, slit-eyed gaze turned to him with a searching look.

Naruto assessed the boy that shared his father's name and instantly deduced that he was right to call him a boy. He was skinny, lacking any kind of muscle definition and was definitely not a warrior of any kind. Worse than that, he was practically pissing himself in fear at the mere sight of him.

Kusano had been reacting to this….this _wet noodle?!_ How did the idiot boy expect to protect her from anything if he couldn't even muster the courage to keep his legs from shaking? His decision to lock away the Green Girl's ability to bond further reinforced, he decided to scare him a bit more.

Peeling his lips away from his teeth, he snarled at him in a way more reminiscent of a dire tiger than a man, snorting when the boy fell flat on his ass in fear.

"Kid, I think we might have to cut our losses and go back to the Inn." Seo advised warily. He might not be able to keep a job for more than a few days, but he heard things from all around the city and the things he'd heard about a long haired, horned blond made him think that he was to be avoided at all costs. They'd come here to keep the Green Girl out of the hands of any unscrupulous Ashikabi, but he very much doubted that picking a fight with this guy would end well for them.

"Yes, you might have to at that." Naruto agreed with a mocking chuckle.

He was tempted to make some choice comments on the S&M outfits worn by the twins that were clearly with the scruffy Seo Kaoru, but he was more interested in seeing whether the wimp would do anything. It wasn't that he didn't find them attractive, he really did, but they weren't _that_ attractive. He only made constant perverted comments to women for the fun of it rather than having any extreme attraction to them. His wife outstripped the beauty of any woman he'd met so far by a colossal margin.

Their Ashikabi was also a bit of an oddball, though he'd already known that. It was like someone that was halfway between human and Sekirei, though he'd still yet to discern any particular difference between the two aside from the whole 'artificial chakra core' thing.

"We can't do that! She reacted to Minato-sama, he has to wing her." Musubi insisted.

Though badly shaken, Minato managed to get back on his feet and address the terrifying man. Despite his scary appearance, the little girl was sleeping peacefully on his head instead of being carried away by force.

"Umm…s-sir, s-she r-reacted to m-me, so ummm…could you please give her to me?" Minato managed to stutter out.

Naruto pointed the bloodied blade of the Kusanagi at him and spoke in a demanding voice. "Tell me boy, what do you even know about the winging?"

Yelping at the threatening way that the polearm was being pointed at him, Minato tried to marshal his thoughts and answer the question, but Musubi beat him to it.

"The winging is the destined bond between an Ashikabi and his Sekirei!" She piped up, always eager to extoll on the subject.

"Be quiet Musubi, I didn't ask you." Naruto commanded, not even looking at the naïve Sekirei. That girl was as gullible as they get and believed whole-heartedly the crap that Minaka had been spewing. She was damn cute, but the boy needed to answer this one himself. "Well?"

"Umm…well, I don't really know much about it, but don't Sekirei react to the Ashikabi that is meant for them?" Minato asked uncertainly once he'd pulled himself together. He was so off balanced that he didn't even think to question how the man knew Musubi's name.

"And you think an eight year old girl is meant for you?" Naruto asked pointedly. "You some kind of pedophile?"

While Minato spluttered, Musubi piped up again. "What's a pedophile?"

Everyone gaped at her, completely unsure of how to respond to that, not to mention unwilling.

Except Naruto, who knew exactly how to respond. With blunt honesty. "A pedophile is a man or a woman that likes having sex with children. People like that are the scum of the earth and should be made to die screaming in agony."

"What's sex?" Musubi asked again, still confused.

The others barely had time to feel either incredulity or dread before Naruto answered with brutal honesty once again. "Sex is the act of interaction between sexual organs performed by two or sometimes more adults, usually but not always of opposing genders."

Musubi's face was scrunched up in a cute form of confusion at this explanation. "Musubi is confused, is sex like common sense?"

"Yes Musubi, sex is a lot like common sense." Naruto told her, figuring that if he couldn't explain it to her, then he might as well make things worse. "You should ask Matsu to show you some videos."

Seo looked badly startled at this and was furiously thinking of any way that the horned man could possibly know of Matsu or her perverted tendencies. He came up blank.

"Who's Matsu?" The scatter brained Sekirei asked further, still confused.

"I'm sure you'll meet her eventually." Naruto said dismissively and turned away, intending to go pick up the hotel phone he'd randomly and for no reason whatsoever thrown away earlier.

"W-Wait, what about the Green Girl?" Minato asked nervously.

"Oh don't worry, I'll take good care of her." Was the nonchalant answer.

"But she was reacting to Minato-sama!" Musubi said indignantly.

"That doesn't matter anymore, I locked away her ability to be winged."

"How could you?! Finding an Ashikabi to fight for in the Sekirei Plan is a Sekirei's purpose in life!" Musubi screamed, now truly angered as this went against everything she believed in. She actually looked ready to attack him.

Naruto turned back to look at the fist fighter and cocked an eyebrow at her simmering-in-rage posture. "Hasn't anyone told you yet? The Sekirei Plan doesn't exist anymore, The Disciplinary Squad is all but disbanded and Minaka is only going to stay alive for as long as he stays amusing."

All of them looked very stunned at this, having heard none of it before, making Naruto snort. "Looks like Sparky hasn't been very open with the information I gave him, though I'm sure he's told Miya."

"The landlady?" Minato said in confusion, wondering what the gentle and yet somehow terrifying purple haired widow had to do with anything.

Naruto let loose a deep belly laugh at that, scaring away a great many birds and various land bound animals as his roaring amusement echoed into the distance. He calmed down after about ten seconds and just shook his head at the ignorance. "Right, a landlady. I hear landladies are pretty dangerous these days."

"How do you know Miya?" Seo asked warily, being the only one present that knew exactly what Miya truly was, and therefore catching the implications of that final statement.

"Oh, I've never spoken to or even seen the woman." Naruto answered blandly, paused for a moment and then suddenly developed a highly perverted expression, deliberately extending his tongue obscenely far out of his mouth as he spoke. "I _must_ remember to ask her if the carpet matches the drapes and if she'd be willing to let me take a look."

Everyone bar Musubi blanched at the mere thought of Miya's reaction to that kind of question, especially if it was paired with the disgusting tongue waggle that had accompanied it.

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind allowing you to compare her carpets and drapes, the landlady is very nice." Musubi said, the true meaning of the words having escaped her utterly no matter how blatant Naruto had made it.

Naruto roared with laughter again, infinitely amused by the naïve Sekirei's antics. He knew that she was also something of a combat nut, which made her like a strange mirror image of Karasuba. Where one was harsh, cynical, hateful and fairly merciless, the other was naïve, hopeful, cheery and always positive.

"Well, never mind that now. As for your other question, I locked away her winging ability so that she has time to grow up before making a choice to bond with someone. I'll restore it to her in ten or so years, maybe a bit more."

"Oh." Musubi said, still looking confused. She had no idea why that was important but she did understand that the Green Girl would be able to get her wings when she was older and the horned man seemed nice enough, so she chose to believe him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A meeting was taking place in Izumo Inn and an odd meeting it was. It consisted of Miya, Matsu, Homura, Seo and Uzume. Miya had sent Minato, Musubi and the thunder twins grocery shopping to get them out of the way. Musubi was the only one completely oblivious to the fact that it was just an excuse to make them leave the Inn.

"Now that we are alone, would you be so kind as to tell me why we needed to have this meeting scum-san?" Miya asked pleasantly, already holding a rock and exuding a miasma of negativity.

"Uzumaki Naruto." Seo said bluntly. "He knows that you're #01. I don't know how he knows, but he knows."

"I see." Miya said simply while the others looked startled, not seeming bothered even though she actually was. "And how did you come to know this."

"We met him while trying to save that kid Sekirei that Minaka set up as a prize for whichever Ashikabi finds her first. Uzumaki was already there and he'd blocked off her winging ability and taken her with him, but not before dropping some hints about someone he calls 'Sparky' telling you that the Sekirei plan didn't exist anymore."

"Ah, that would be me." Homura admitted ruefully. "He called me Sparky when I met him the other night, though he made no mention of the Sekirei plan, he only said that the Disciplinary Squad had been disbanded."

Matsu and Uzume snickered at the nickname, but Miya made an expression best described as 'pleasantly upset'.

"And why…..did you not tell me this sooner?"

Homura swallowed nervously and was quick to answer. "I wanted to make sure that he was for real. The things that he was saying just sounded too good to be true."

"What kinds of things Homura-tan?" Matsu asked curiously.

"Like the Disciplinary Squad being disbanded and Minaka basically being used as a punching bag every time he tries to get things back on track."

"What do you mean used as a punching bag?" Uzume asked.

"Well, apparently Uzumaki's wife ripped off eight of his fingers when he bribed an Ashikabi to attack them in order to find out more about them and Uzumaki somehow managed to convince Karasuba to castrate him."

Seo gave an instinctive wince, accompanied by an awkward shuffle at hearing this, while everyone else simply smiled at the thought. Minaka was not a well liked person in Izumo Inn.

"In short, he and his wife have basically hijacked the Sekirei Plan and wrecked it in the few days that they've been involved, going around unwinging Sekirei as they please and sidelining Minaka entirely." Homura summed up. "To be honest, I'm kind of glad of it. Minaka's insane Sekirei Plan would have seen us kill each other stupidly."

Homura made no mention of the malicious glee he felt at knowing that the madman had been reduced to a plaything for someone powerful beyond anyone's ability to control. Revenge was supposed to taste bittersweet, but Homura had so far found nothing bitter about it, even if it wasn't him doing it.

"I may have agreed with you if I knew what they were planning on doing in his place." Miya said with a grim tone that she hadn't used in a while. She had been determined not to involve herself in the Sekirei Plan, but things had changed drastically.

"When Takami spoke to him he told her that he was just looking to adopt a few little sisters, though he also seems to have something in mind for Karasuba, seeing as he called her one of his 'projects'." Homura added. "Then again, he's also claiming to be a god and I'm still kind of doubtful on that despite the fact that he was more than happy to demonstrate that he was obscenely powerful."

Miya mulled that over, not finding herself too surprised at the claim of divinity. She and the other seven Pillars had also been called gods and she knew that it could simply be nothing more than a description for someone of immense power rather than true divinity.

The man's connection to _that_ woman notwithstanding, she found herself unable to let this go. "I find it doubtful that that is his only desire in regards to the Sekirei and I would like to speak to him soon."

It would mean getting involved again despite having washed her hands of the whole thing years ago, but she couldn't help feeling that there might be some hope for her feathers again. She hadn't been able to move against Minaka, because without him, the rest of the world would descend on the Sekirei like vultures. No matter how powerful she was, they would slip past her watch eventually now that most Sekirei had been turned loose in the city. If Minaka were killed, they'd spread even further and all her power would be useless if she wasn't there to defend them. Not every Sekirei was capable of fighting off an army or even a commando squad. And she was not foolish enough to think that she was invincible to begin with, even if she slew soldiers by the thousands, something would eventually bring her down.

The thought of simply coercing Minaka to do as she asked with threats of death and dismemberment had occurred to her, but she'd dismissed it as non-viable. Despite being insane, or maybe because of it, Minaka wouldn't cave to that kind of pressure and he'd used various measures to safeguard himself from that in any case. Clearly though, those measure were being less than effective against these newcomers. Why Minaka hadn't started deactivating Sekirei to prove a point and force them to back off, she didn't know, but she hoped that he _couldn't_ instead of _wouldn't_.

Seo and Homura winced and exchanged looks, somehow knowing that the other was equally aware of what a disaster waiting to happen that was. Unfortunately, this was noticed.

"What's with the wincing guys? You afraid they're going to get into a fight with Miya?" Uzume asked with a teasing smirk.

Exchanging another long-suffering look, the two men could tell by Miya's prompting expression that they wouldn't get out of answering that one. "We're not afraid that they're going to, we _know_ they are."

"Ara, how can you be so certain?" Miya asked mildly. "Are you implying that this humble landlady would attack visitors?"

Her mild manner and gentle smile was completely at odds with the already forming Hannya mask that demanded that they answer carefully.

"We can't really say anything about his wife." Homura hastened to say. "But Uzumaki is….well.."

"What is he Homura-tan?" Matsu asked eagerly, her glasses gleaming.

"He's a pervert." Seo said flatly, wanting to just get it over with. He'd never admit it, but he was kind of hoping to be there to see the fireworks, even if it was probably going to be dangerous.

"You are a pervert too scum-san, but I still let you live." Miya pointed out with a dangerously pleasant smile.

Seo acquired a deadpan expression, remembering the many hard rocks that had been thrown at his head over the years. Uzumaki didn't strike him as the type to just take that crap without giving something back though.

"I might not have been around him for more than a few minutes, but I could tell that this guy is no ordinary pervert, he's like…..a Super Pervert." Seo explained.

"Ufufufufu." Matsu chuckled, sounding like an old man with her perverse giggles and her glasses fogging up for some reason.

"Oh yeah, he also knows that Matsu is here."

"Of course he does." Homura muttered into the silence that followed, somehow not surprised. The horned blond was entirely too well informed. "Right, I almost forgot. Uzume, he told me to tell you that 'he can also heal', though I'm not sure why he wanted me to tell that to you specifically."

The chesty cloth using Sekirei froze in shock at the implications of that statement. She'd actually had a brief 'encounter', if you could call it that, with the man. Higa's loathsome secretary had sent her to take out another poor Sekirei whose Ashikabi had refused to have anything to do with him, only to be intercepted. No matter how much she tried to will herself to attack the intimidating horned man, she hadn't been able to make the cloth she manipulated move. Not a word had been said but she'd needed to flee, especially since the Sekirei and Ashikabi pair had already left the area.

If he knew of her situation, then that could only mean that he'd either followed her without being seen or straight out read her mind. Either way, it was blatant bait to lure her to him.

Uzume evaded the questions of whether she knew what that meant and ignored the continuing conversation as well as the suspicious looks leveled at her. The only thing on her mind was whether she should risk taking the obvious bait and possibly blunder into some kind of nefarious trap or stay in her current, miserable situation and hope that Higa didn't backstab her in the end.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I wonder how they can eat so much?" The newly employed female bellhop questioned mostly rhetorically as she continued pushing a table heavily laden down with food.

"Not a clue Yuno, not a clue." Her more experienced colleague, Shou, answered with a wry tone, pushing along his own table.

"We've had to employ two extra chefs just for them." The third member, Naoki, added.

"Seriously?" Shou asked incredulously, having not heard of this before. "Management must have been annoyed by that."

"Oh yeah. They weren't happy about having to pay two extra chefs, especially since all the tips are going into our pockets instead of theirs." Naoki confirmed with a self satisfied smirk.

"None of my friends believe me when I tell them that there just happens to be a super generous rich guy here, they all think I'm providing 'extra service'. And I haven't even told them what he looks like yet." Yuno grumbled sourly. It made her wonder about the quality of her friends if they so easily assumed that she'd sell herself for the right price. The fact that she could fairly easily imagine her 'friends' doing exactly that only made her question it even more.

"Well I'm sure Naruto wouldn't say no to a little 'extra service'." Shou snickered, joined soon by Naoki.

"Assholes." Yuno groused but didn't take offense. Naruto's obviously perverted nature had become something of a running gag for the hotel staff and she knew that the joke was aimed mostly at him rather than at her. "What do you think he's doing with all those strange looking women up there anyway?"

"Maybe he's building up a harem." Shou suggested with a leer.

"That's ridiculous." Yuno scoffed. "He's married."

"Yeah, but that wife of his is anything but normal." Naoki added his own opinion to the discussion. "Maybe they really are demons and they're going to suck the life out of those girls through sex."

"Now _you're_ the one being ridiculous." Shou said. "If Naruto is a demon then he must have gotten kicked out of Hell for being too nice."

"Then what did his wife get kicked out of Hell for?" Yuno asked, smirking.

"Her? Get kicked out of Hell?" Shou scoffed. "If anything, she probably left because it wasn't hardcore enough."

All three of them chuckled at the silly conversation and went silent for a few moments until Yuno asked another question. "What's her name anyway?"

"No idea." Naoki shrugged. "We never heard it and we're not quite willing to ask."

"What brave men you are." Yuno said sarcastically.

Both men shrugged, secure in the knowledge that it was simply better not to rock the boat and risk upsetting someone and thus losing their steady source of income through tips.

"But seriously, if they're not building up some kind of harem up there, then I don't know what they're doing." Shou said pensively.

"Give it a rest with the harems already, you watch too much anime." Yuno said with an eyeroll.

Any further conversation was forestalled ass they had already reached the door to the penthouse.

After knocking and announcing their presence, they were greeted by the usual sight of Naruto's bare chest, much to their relief. Though today it was odd, as he had a little blond girl sleeping on his head.

"Hello minions." He greeted and waved them in so they could drop off the food.

They did so, but could not resist constantly glancing at the young girl on his head, seemingly held there by his hair alone.

"Something on your mind?" Naruto asked amusedly.

"Uh….you've got a little girl on your head." Shou pointed out, internally wincing at how stupid he had just sounded.

Naruto feigned a surprised look and rolled his eyes upwards as if he could somehow see her that way. "So I do! Akitsu, why didn't you alert me to this fact earlier?"

The three bellhops had no idea where the incredibly beautiful, chesty, kimono wearing woman with the perpetually sleepy expression had come from, so they jumped slightly at her sudden appearance and monotonous answer to Naruto's question. "I apologize master, please spank me harder tonight."

"Good thinking Akitsu. I've got a brand new, velvet wrapped paddle with your name on it." Naruto praised.

Akitsu said nothing nor did her expression change in the slightest, making it impossible to guess whether she liked that or not.

The three bellhops all looked stunned at having their joking guesses of a harem confirmed. But then, what was the deal with the kid?

As it turned out, Kusano picked that moment to wake up and rub at her eyes in a cutely childish fashion. "Onii-chan, something smells good." She mumbled sleepily.

"That's right Kuu-chan, it's time to eat."

"Kuu is hungry." The Green Girl mumbled again, accompanied by her rumbling stomach.

Some minutes later, the three bellhops were putting away the standardly huge tips that Naruto handed out and attempting to puzzle out what kind of situation that was.

"So….one of them is some kind of weird S&M slave girl and the other one is a little sister?" Naoki said tentatively.

"What about the others then?" Yuno asked.

"They're probably in on the S&M thing too." Shou said with authority.

"How'd you figure that?" Naoki asked sceptically.

"He must pick them up young and train them."

"Like one of those sex slave operations?" Yuno asked worriedly, starting to think that it was a possibility. She'd heard things on the news.

"You don't think…..that he's been giving us such big tips so that we'd feel like we owe him something, or that we'd be too greedy to report it to the police?" Naoki wondered, his imagination painting a grim picture.

"We should keep our eyes open." Shou determined. "It could be nothing, but we need to pay attention in case it _is_ something. We already know that he's a pervert and all this money has to be coming from somewhere. He could be using the hotel as a cover for some kind of sick slave training operation. I mean, did you see the despondent expression on that girl's face? Maybe that mark on her forehead is given to the ones who've already been trained, like some kind of brand."

"And since it's such a prestigious hotel, people would never think of it." Yuno whispered in realisation.

All three of them nodded grimly, now determined. If Naruto really had pulled the wool over their eyes with his extravagant tips, then they'd expose him to the police. They'd watch carefully for any more signs to make sure that they weren't just jumping at shadows, but it would have to be soon. Just turning a blind eye while innocent young women were being inducted into slavery was not something they could do, no matter how much money they'd make by doing so.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So you _can_ eat normally." Haihane said with much amusement, observing the much more civilised way that Naruto was eating now that he had Kusano in his lap.

"Of course I can, but I usually don't see the point." Naruto answered. "It gets in the way of my enjoyment of the food."

"So it takes having a little kid in your lap to make you use some manners onii-chan?" Yashima teased.

Kusano made a weird noise of discontent in the back of her throat, swallowed the food in her mouth and addressed the hammer wielding Sekirei. "He's _my_ onii-chan."

Naruto poked the girl lightly in the stomach, making her yelp in ticklish surprise even as he gently rebuked her. "You're both my little sisters, which makes Yashima your big sister, so be nice."

Kusano pouted, which sent Haihane into a short giggling fit at the look.

"What does that make me and Akitsu then?" The bandaged Sekirei asked, much amused.

"You'll be another of my little sisters as soon as I can beat you at Mortal Kombat." Naruto pointed out, eliciting a disbelieving snort from Haihane, who clearly doubted his ability to accomplish such a thing. "And Akitsu is…..complicated."

"Ah…master, that isn't true." The ice Sekirei replied quietly. "I'm very simple, I just want to serve yours and Xanna-sama's needs."

Naruto aimed a wry look at the well concealed pervert, amused at how she'd worded it so that it went right over Kusano's young head.

"Speaking of your scary wife, where is she?"

"Oh, she had something to do." He said noncommittally.

"Why did you order food for her too then?" Yashima asked in confusion.

"We'll be eating it together later, in bed." Though his tone was neutral, the suggestive eyebrow raise made Yashima flush with embarrassment and Haihane smirk.

Akitsu…yanked lightly on his sleeve and aimed a pleading look at him, clearly asking if she could be part of that too.

_She'll be busy for a while yet Akitsu, so we'll have time for your spanking before she gets back._ He said directly to her mind, not wanting to expose Kusano's virgin ears to that kind of thing.

Akitsu perked up in a very subtle manner. She would have preferred if they could have both been there, as she was equally attracted to both of them, but she'd take one over none any day. She felt fortunate enough that they were even letting her join in on these things to the extent that they were.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Some time earlier._

Minaka woke up feeling confused. From what he could recall he'd just suddenly passed out and now he was waking up on what seemed to be an uncomfortable stone floor. Additionally, the constant ache of his not completely healed castration was gone. The doctors had managed to re-attach his penis, but alas, his testicles had been a lost cause.

"Get on your feet already worm." A commanding female voice echoed out. Apparently he was in some kind of room with good acoustics.

Moreoever, the voice was chillingly familiar.

Getting up, he saw that indeed, it was the horned she-demon that had ripped off his fingers the last time he'd seen her. She was sitting on an expansive throne of black marble that was padded with deep crimson cushions. To enhance the arrogant image even further, she was sitting up on a balcony that overlooked his current position.

His current position being an empty room, whose only features were a portcullis on each side.

"Since you've attempted to continue your idiotic Sekirei Plan despite repeated warnings, you will now serve to amuse me, just as you continue attempting to use the Sekirei for your amusement even after my husband has claimed them."

"I found them first." Minaka argued, rather petulantly at that.

"That matters little when you lack the strength to back up your claim." Xanna pointed out mockingly.

She knew that Naruto hadn't _really_ claimed them as such, but that was just him being human. They were his and if he wished to allow them to leave then that was his prerogative, but he _had_ claimed the Sekirei as far as she was concerned.

"Well I'm not going to play along with your games." Minaka said defiantly. He was the Game Master! He would not be reduced to being someone's plaything! That was the role of others!

"You misunderstand, you will amuse me no matter what you do."

As soon as she said that, Minaka started hearing the disturbing moans of what he instantly identified as a zombie horde, thanks to seeing a great many movies and video games on the subject. Turning to look allowed him to see that they were clamoring in an attempt to breach one of the two entrances to the room.

"Refuse to move and they will tear you apart, or struggle for survival. Either way, you will amuse me."

Minaka was momentarily speechless and Xanna continued her standard Smug Evil Villain Monologue, as was apparently required of anyone that dumped another person into hot water for their amusement. "My husband occasionally comes up with such marvelous ideas. I think I would keep him around just for those even if I didn't love him." She said fondly before continuing. "I know that you enjoyed playing Dungeons and Dragons during your college days and you _always_ insisted on being the Dungeon Master. This time, you will be running through _my_ dungeon."

"But….but you can't do this! I'm the Game Master! If anyone should be the Dungeon Master, it should be me!" Minaka insisted.

"I do believe that you've just failed a diplomacy check." Xanna pointed out, which was immediately followed by the sound of an opening portcullis.

Minaka paled at the sight of the zombie horde approaching and ran for the other portcullis, which had fortunately also opened.

The last thing he heard from behind him was her parting shot.

"Since I am not entirely heartless, you actually have a chance of surviving this mess you've gotten yourself into. Roll the Die of Power…..if you dare."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minaka took deep breaths, trying to calm down his racing heart. He'd managed to evade the zombies so far, but he didn't delude himself into thinking that he'd be able to do it forever.

This dungeon he was in was a labyrinthine mess and sooner or later the horde would splinter into multiple directions, making it nigh impossible to evade them. They were slow, but he dared not get too far from them out of fear that he would need to double back at some point and find himself between two groups.

This relatively tiny room was the first sanctuary he'd found and he was taking the chance to rest a bit. It was not an empty room however.

There was a dais in the middle and on it was a single, twenty sided die. An easily recognisable sight for anyone that had even a passing knowledge of D&D. This one came with a warning though.

_Roll the die if you seek a boon_

_But be wary of rolling too soon_

_A high roll turns things in your favor_

_And a low roll increases the danger._

Apparently the sadistic she-demon had a penchant for tormenting him with bad poetry in addition to the zombies and Minaka felt the sudden urge to yell at the ceiling that her poetry was bad and that she should feel bad. Fortunately, his long ignored common sense smothered that idea by pointing out that it may not be the wisest of decisions to needlessly antagonize the one who held his life in her hands.

He'd already had to revise his opinion on the apparent divinity of the horned duo in light of recent developments and if D&D had taught him anything, it was that you didn't deliberately piss off either the gods or the Dungeon Master and he was dealing with someone who was both.

Judging by her ominous warning and the aforementioned bad poetry, if he rolled above 10, he'd get something helpful and if he rolled below it, he'd get more trouble.

A 50/50 chance of his situation improving was better than mindlessly wandering through the zombie infested maze he was in, so Minaka spared little thought before grabbing the die and rolling it. He was sorely tempted to cheat, but experienced the most curious sense that it wouldn't end well for him if he tried.

He waited in a state of extreme tension as the die kept on rolling longer than strictly needed until it finally stopped on a number that caused him to exhale in relief. The die itself collapsed into dust and spelled out his outcome.

**11**

**Arm yourself!**

Along the length of the wall, a weapons rack shimmered into existence, containing all sorts of goodies that would go a long way towards helping him survive.

Gleefully, Minaka took a katana from the rack, having taken some lessons with the weapon during his youth when his interests had been all over the place. He also took a naginata for some range and a couple of daggers just in case things got really hairy. He'd have liked to take a bow as well, but unfortunately, he didn't know how to use it.

Thus armed, Minaka the Zombie Hunter left his safe hidey hole with the intention of poking holes into the brains of the zombies with his polearm and then safely strolling out of the dungeon once they were all dead.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minaka glared incredulously at the supposed exit.

It was a massive rocky cliff that offered little in the way of handholds and was certainly not safe to be climbing with his fancy dress shoes. Especially without any climbing equipment.

The zombies had been slow and stupid and therefore presented very little danger as long as you didn't allow yourself to get overwhelmed or surrounded, but this cliff would definitely be the death of him.

Oh so innocently, another Die of Power was sitting on a nearby dais, mocking him with the clear offer of aid.

With trepidation, he took the reality altering object and threw it, hoping that his luck would hold and allow him to escape. His blood turned to ice as he beheld the result.

**4**

**Hunted by the Xenomorph!**

I took him no more than a few moments to remember what exactly a Xenomorph was, with his realisation being echoed helpfully by the distant screech of the fictional interstellar apex predator.

Instantly, he took off running in the hope of finding another Die of Power to even the odds, not really trusting his ability to fight something like that off with melee weaponry.

He muttered angrily to himself even as he ran. "Xenomorphs are _NOT_ part of the D&D universe!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minaka desperately gasped for air and willed his out of control heart to stop attempting to escape from his chest and continue running as the frustrated black carapaced alien clawed at the walls in an attempt to get to him.

He'd only barely escaped it and he'd needed to abandon all his weapons except for the daggers to do so. The thing was big despite its somewhat spindly appearance, bigger than a grown man by a considerable margin, which had been his only saving grace. He most certainly could not have outran it, as it was capable of moving at speeds that would put a cheetah to shame.

He'd found a tiny little opening in the wall and dived in without thought, being rather out of choice in the matter since the Xenomorph had been about to pounce on him from across the hall. He'd just barely gotten out of range of its tail as it was.

At the very end of the tiny hole in the wall was another Die of Power. Seeing as he was in a completely inescapable situation, Minaka grabbed it and rolled without hesitation.

**5**

**The menace is green.**

Minaka scratched at his scalp in confusion, both because the newly growing fuzz on it was itchy and because he had no idea what that was supposed to mean. The fact that he'd rolled a 5 was a sign that the situation was definitely bad, but for the life of him he couldn't make sense of that weird message.

"**_WAAAAAAAGH!_**"

A memory was sparked by the distant warcry, and it made Minaka curse again at the vagaries of the horned she-demon. Didn't she know anything about D&D?! "Warhammer Orks are not part of the D&D universe either!"

Seeing as his inescapable situation hadn't improved in the slightest, Minaka just rested his head on his hands and hoped that maybe the Xenomorph and the Orks would kill each other.

An absurdly irritating elevator chime made him look at the tiny dais that had been crammed into this dead end tunnel and saw that the Die of Power was whole again. And it had a message written under it this time.

_High amounts of bad luck have been observed, would you like to roll again?_

Seeing as he _still_ had nothing to lose, Minaka rolled again.

**10**

**Chaotic Teleportation Field!**

Oh now that was just _wonderful_! If the rules of this insane dungeon were to be observed, then this had the potential to be both good and bad. If he got teleported, he could end up right in front of the exit or right in front the Xemomorph's jaws.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minaka had slightly underestimated just how 'chaotic' this chaotic teleportation field was going to be.

It teleported literally anything and everything. So far he'd seen bicycles, weapons, gerbils, corn, a bean stalk and a winged zebra during his various teleport jaunts through the dungeon.

The Xenomorph was merrily massacring everything that breathed and the Orks were having great fun with 'Da Tellyporta!" as they called it. He'd actually managed to kill one of the green brutes with a broadsword that he'd picked up some time earlier. The brutish creature had been surprised by having a human appear right in front of it and since Minaka had already had his sword ready, he'd just stabbed it in the throat. At the very least, they didn't seem to have any ranged weaponry.

He'd long since started regretting his decision to roll the dice instead of attempting to climb the cliff, but there was nothing to do about it now. Even if he tried to climb up that thing now, he'd either be teleported elsewhere before he made it to the top or the Xenomorph would catch him. And that was assuming that he could even find the damn wall again.

He knew that he needed to get out of this place soon. He was tired, thirsty, hungry and being constantly on edge had reduced him to jumping at shadows.

Having caught his breath as much as he could, Minaka started moving again. From what he was able to figure out, there was a higher chance of getting teleported if kept still for too long.

It didn't take him long to come upon another Die of Power, a sight which caused him no small amounts of trepidation. So far those things had done nothing but make things worse, aside from the first one.

With a sense a fatalism, Minaka took the die and threw it, full expecting it to summon a Balrog or something equally horrible.

**18**

**High power, constant beam laser rifle with infinite ammo!**

"Ahaha..MUAHAHAHHAAHAH AAAHAHHAHAHAAAAAA!" Minaka's unhinged laughter echoed through the labyrinth and drew the attention of its predators.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minaka smiled a smile that only a madman could produce at the collection of half vaporized corpses that used to be Orks and a single Xenomorph.

In the narrow corridors, his new laser rifle was the ultimate weapon. Able to output an unbroken beam of fiery death that was impossible to dodge for more than a few moments. It had allowed him to slaughter everything in his way and he was at long last alone again.

Minaka knew that he was in love. The feelings that he'd once had for Takami were a pale shadow of what he felt for the magnificent weapon in his hands. It's sleek black and grey form roused emotions in him that he'd thought long since gone.

He decided to name it Amaterasu, for surely a weapon that could channel the very power of the sun without limit could only be the embodiment of the Shinto goddess herself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Several hours and uncountable amounts of teleport jumps later, Minaka ran through the exit of the dungeon.

He'd had the opportunity to roll the Die of Power another four times, but he hadn't dared. It seemed to be inclined towards the lower numbers far too much and if rolling 18 had produced something as wonderful as Amaterasu, he could only shudder in fear of what it might spawn if he rolled 3 or less.

"Well well well, aren't you a lucky one?" Xanna asked rhetorically, lounging on her throne in a room that was otherwise empty. "Hard to believe that you managed to survive that without taking even a single hit."

"I have Amaterasu-chan to thank for that and now that I've arrived at the final boss battle, we will destroy you together." Minaka proclaimed grandiosely and turned the laser rifle at Xanna and pressed the trigger without hesitation.

The lack of fiery death beam froze his face into an expression of glee that was at the point of turning sour.

"That weapon only functions because I will it, it will not fire without my permission. In truth it doesn't even have any internal components." Xanna explained, rather amused by the name that the madman had given to the fake weapon.

Without answering, Minaka turned around and fired at a random wall, unknowingly cackling at the orange beam that spewed forth from the barrel. He tried to bring it around to Xanna, only for the beam to be cut off just before it reached her.

"Well, I suppose that I have to let you leave now, though I have no doubt you will find yourself here again due to some act of stupidity on your part." Xanna mused.

"But….what will happen to Amaterasu-chan?" Minaka asked, hugging the gun as if it was a girl.

"It will cease to exist, obviously." The horned woman answered, raising an eyebrow at the levels of mental anguish the lunatic was experiencing over the thought of losing the weapon.

Deciding to make things even more difficult for him, just for the sake of her demonic heritage, she opened a portal instead of ejecting him from her personal dimension by force.

"Step through here and you will return back to where you came, losing your weapon in the process or stay here and keep fighting with it until you die."

Minaka broke out into a cold sweat at the monstrously difficult decision. He was in serious need of food and water, but there were none to be had here. However, if he left, then he would lose Amaterasu-chan.

Weeping with the weight of his grief, Minaka clutched the laser rifle to himself as he walked through the portal, knowing that he couldn't stay. Maybe, just maybe, he would be able to rebuild her and they could be together again sometime in the future.

As soon as he stepped through the portal and felt her vanish from his arms, Minaka collapsed to his knees and wailed in anguish at his loss.

That was how Takami found him half an hour later and demanded that he explain himself without a shred of sympathy, somehow knowing that it was stupid.

The blubbering explanation of dungeons, aliens, Orks and divine laser rifles that he'd fallen in love with made her want to kick him until he died. She hoped fervently that neither of her children had inherited anything from this lunatic that she'd let between her legs far too many times.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Thar be chapter five.**

**Obviously I don't own anything that was mentioned in this fic, but I felt that I should probably say it anyway.**

**Please Review :P.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Review Responses:**

**2 Questions: Planning? I'm not planning anything, I just write stuff if I get ideas, so I honestly couldn't tell you.**

**Guests: You are correct and it is definitely something that I need to work in occasionally. Thanks for the reminder.**

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Uzume was nervous, which was a perfectly understandable state of affairs all things considered. It wasn't every day that a girl walked into a potential trap set by a known pervert after all.

That being said, she was also hopeful that things would turn out for the best. While the horned blond had something of a mixed reputation, he seemed to genuinely want to help the Sekirei in his own odd way. At least on the surface of it.

She'd made the decision to take the bait because she did not trust Higa in the slightest. Chiho's condition was serious and supposedly incurable, but after some consideration she had to bitterly conclude that he wouldn't have allowed her to be treated even if it were possible, because then he wouldn't be able to blackmail Uzume anymore.

She sincerely hoped that she wasn't just switching blackmailers.

Finding him hadn't been hard at all, it wasn't as if the man was concerned with keeping a low profile after all. Taking one last deep breath to settle her nerves, she knocked on the door.

She wasn't overly surprised that the door was opened by a Sekirei, though this one was a bit of an oddity due to the mark on her forehead. She had only a passing acquaintance with Akitsu, as they had been kept in different areas of the MBI labs, so she didn't really know what to expect of her.

"Ah….hello."

"Hi."

Awkward silence.

"Is Uzumaki Naruto-san in?"

"….no."

More awkward silence.

Uzume was starting to get unnerved by the emotionless stare that the other Sekirei was giving her, not to mention stilted 'conversation'.

"Oi Akitsu, who is it?" A female voice that was vaguely familiar to Uzume called from further within the penthouse.

"Uzume-san." Akitsu replied in a much more quiet voice.

"What?" The same voice hollered, clearly not having heard.

Akitsu fidgeted, clearly unwilling to raise her voice to the level needed to make herself heard. Fortunately for the conflicted Sekirei, another person spoke up.

"Stop yelling Haihane, if you want to know who it is then go look yourself." It was also a female voice, beautiful and melodius despite the authority in it.

The knowledge that Haihane was just one room over made Uzume even more uncomfortable. She knew, intellectually, that the Blue Sekirei wasn't part of the Disciplinary Squad anymore, but that was the only way that she'd ever been able to see her. It made her consider just giving the whole thing up as a bad idea and leaving.

"But I'm in the middle of a game." Haihane protested.

"Then pause it."

"I can't pause an online game!"

"Then pause reality."

Uzume could almost hear the deadpan expression that Haihane _had_ to be making.

"Not everyone is a god of practically unlimited power." The tone of Haihane's voice was very, very dry.

"Indeed." There was so much self-satisfied smugness in that one word that it irritated even Uzume, who really had nothing to do with that situation.

"Would it kill you to stop mocking everyone around you?" Haihane spoke in a tone of consternation.

"No, but it would lessen my amusement."

The only thing Uzume heard after that was some grumbling and then more button mashing as Haihane obviously focused back on her game.

Having nothing else to eavesdrop on, Uzume was uncomfortably reminded of the fact that the ice Sekirei was still staring at her with that blank, sleepy expression. It was creepy.

"Let her in Akitsu, I think we've made her uncomfortable enough."

Uzume felt a spark of irritation inside at the fact that she'd obviously been played just now. Akitsu had been deliberately making things uncomfortable and creepy, quite probably at the suggestion of the unknown woman that so enjoyed mocking people.

"Yes mistress." Akitsu said in the same quiet tone that shouldn't be audible to the other room but obviously was.

Seeing as she had come this far already, Uzume allowed herself to be led into the large living room, which had obviously gone through some serious customisation. There were multiple screens and gaming consoles scattered all over the place, a sight that made Uzume itch to try some of them out. Apparently she had a fondness of video games in common with the Blue Sekirei, as Haihane was currently occupying one of them.

A tall, horned woman was laying across the couch, reading a book. Uzume figured that this must be Naruto's wife and most probably also the one that liked to mock people since she was the only one there aside from Haihane and Akitsu.

Speaking of the ice Sekirei, she had made a beeline for the couch, placed the horned woman's feet in her lap and started massaging them. Uzume could swear that Akitsu actually looked marginally happier than she'd been when she answered the door.

"Ummm….I'm here to talk to Uzumaki-san. Something about him being able to heal my Ashikabi?" Uzume started awkwardly, feeling immensely uncomfortable with the way that everyone seemed to be ignoring her. She figured that there was no need to hide the fact that Chiho needed healing since they probably knew already.

"You needn't refer to my brutish husband so respectfully, he cares little for politeness." The horned woman said casually, not even lifting her eyes off the book.

"O….kay…." Uzume said slowly, before deciding to just not think too much about it and plowed on. "Is he here?"

"Nope, he took Yashima and Kuu-chan on a little trip." Haihane answered.

Ah, that would explain their absence. Uzume had been wondering about that.

"You are welcome to wait for him here." Xanna offered.

"Thank you." Uzume said and sat down in a nearby armchair, fidgeting nervously in the atmosphere that was obviously tense only for her.

After a minute, she couldn't take the silence anymore and blurted out a question. "Can he really heal my Chiho?"

"Yes."

Uzume blinked at the blunt answer she'd been given. Just yes? No explanation? No conditions? No difficulties at all? No way it was that easy.

"What would I need to do to convince him to help me?"

"Akitsu, answer the girl."

"Yes Xanna-sama."

Uzume raised an eyebrow at the strange name. She'd honestly been expecting a Japanese name despite the horned woman's exotic appearance. Weird, but she dismissed it in favor of listening to Akitsu's words. It was important after all.

"Master is a pervert, if you want his help you should offer him all your holes."

If Uzume had been drinking anything she'd have done a spit take. "Hehehe, if he can heal my Chiho, I might just do that, even if I'm more interested in girls."

"Master is more interested in girls too." Akitsu offered helpfully.

"That's not really the point…." Uzume sweatdropped.

Haihane couldn't hold back her snickers any more, drawing the cloth using Sekirei's attention. "What Akitsu isn't telling you is that he'd probably help you even if you did nothing but call him big brother or maybe even for no reason at all."

"No way, for real?" Uzume asked In shock, having expected things to be….harder.

At Haihane's amused nod, she turned back to the ice Sekirei and asked suspiciously. "You were just messing with me weren't you?"

Akitsu looked back with a face that betrayed absolutely nothing. "….I was just trying to help, master fills up my holes every time I ask for something."

Of course, she failed to mention that she only ever asked that he do exactly that.

Uzume was still suspicious, but that perfect poker face revealed nothing. It dawned on her that it was rather odd for this Xanna woman to be so unbothered by the fact that her husband was apparently screwing Akitsu's brains out, but she decided it was better not to ask too many questions.

"Hey Uzume, you wanna play a game?" Haihane interjected, holding up a controller. More players were always more fun.

"I'd love to." Uzume agreed, perhaps just a shade too quickly, but she was just so damn relieved to be doing something instead of sitting in awkward silence.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey onii-chan, how come nobody is freaking out over the way you look?" Yashima asked curiously, looking around and noticing that they weren't even being given a second glance, much less the gawking that Naruto should have attracted.

"As far as they're concerned, I'm a completely unremarkable guy." Naruto answered dryly, absentmindedly disintegrating the cotton candy residue that Kusano was occasionally leaving in his hair as she rode on his shoulders.

He'd decided to take his two newly adopted little sisters to an amusement park, correctly guessing that they'd never been to one. It was fun to spend some time with them like this. Yashima was still troubled over what she'd gone through with her abusive Ashikabi and enjoyed spending the day having simple fun and going on the rides. It helped that being around Naruto let her feel safe, as she was otherwise somewhat distrustful of humans thanks to having an overabundance of bad experiences with them.

Kusano was a lot simpler, she just liked all the great snacks and spending time with her new big brother.

"Ooooh! Onii-chan, lets go on that one!" She exclaimed suddenly, pointing excitedly at a giant ferris wheel.

"Alright then, lets go." Naruto agreed easily and the three of them went towards it, ignoring the line and getting on the ride without paying. Nobody so much as twitched at the action, having not seen it happen.

"Isn't that a petty abuse of power?" Yashima asked humorously, not really bothered by it. Who wanted to stand in line anyway?

"Funny thing about being a god, _everything_ is a petty abuse of power." Naruto responded dryly.

"How about striving for world peace? I hear that's what the last guy claiming divinity tried." Was Yashima's counter, though she wasn't being too serious about it, just arguing for the sake of conversation.

Naruto's voice was heavy with irony as he replied. "Yeah, and that worked out really well for him didn't it?"

Yashima was still contemplating a response when he continued speaking. "If I wanted to pacify this world I'd first have to conquer it and I'm just not willing to deal with all that stuff. All the backstabbing and the pointless assassination attempts and then some idiot would probably try to launch a nuke at me if I didn't dismantle them all first."

"You really think someone would use one of those?" Yashima asked incredulously. She only knew the basics of nuclear weapons but she'd been stunned to know that in essence, the superpowers of the world were constantly pointing an arsenal of nation destroying weaponry at each other. It sounded insane.

"You would not _believe_ how stupid people can get under the proper circumstances." He told her by way of an answer. "They like to think that the time they live in now is an enlightened age, but most of them still have the same 'us versus them' mentality that everyone has had for thousands of years despite overwhelming evidence saying that everyone is basically the same. Trying to get humanity as a whole to work together rather than against each other would probably be like trying to teach a monkey how to fly a plane, it _might_ be doable but you'd be better off waiting for that monkey to evolve a bit more unless you wanted it to crash and burn."

Yashima giggled at the comparison, taking care to be quiet as Kusano had apparently decided that the ferris wheel wasn't as interesting as she'd thought it would be and fallen asleep on Naruto's lap.

"That's a pretty low opinion you've got of your own species." She pointed out, knowing that he was technically…sort of….still human himself.

"Well, I'll admit that I might have picked up some bias from my wife." Naruto admitted. "Though it isn't as if I've seen a whole lot of examples that would give me a good opinion on the subject. Where I came from, everyone was constantly at war with each other and they didn't even know why for the most part. That was just the way it was and nobody gave it much thought."

That made Yashima think of the Sekirei Plan and how blindly everyone had accepted Minaka's lunacy. She knew that it hadn't been aimed at her, but she still shifted uncomfortably, knowing that she had been just like everyone else in that respect.

"As for this world…." And various extra-dimensional versions of it now that Naruto thought about it. "Well, even if it doesn't look like they're going to kill each other with war, they'll do it by poisoning themselves."

"What do you mean?" Yashima asked in puzzlement, finding it hard to believe that close to eight billion people would be able to simultaneously poison themselves.

"They're dumping so much filth everywhere that I don't honestly expect humanity to survive for longer than one or two hundred years."

"It can't really be that bad." Yashima said sceptically, not seeing any obvious signs of that kind of pollution. "The world looks pretty clean to me."

"That's the problem." Naruto said dryly. "As long as it looks clean, it's easy to dismiss, but there's actually a floating island of garbage sitting in the middle of the ocean and plenty more of it is under the water."

Both he and Xanna had been incredulous when they'd found it back in the previous dimension and it had only been bigger in this one since there was a twenty year time difference. It had only taken them a few minutes of incredulity that people would poison their own world like this before they cynically realised that the only thing that had prevented the shinobi world from ending up the same was the use of chakra. It was a clean and environmentally friendly way of killing each other after all and it had also kept technology from becoming as pervasive as it was here. Though that had likely already started changing since Xanna had taken their chakra away.

This train of thought once more prompted Naruto to think about what he could do for all these Sekirei that he was taking in. He had taken responsibility for them and he would keep them safe, but there were some issues with that. He was already quite sure that staying in this world after he was done gathering them up was simply not an option. The rest of the world was simply too greedy for their power and he'd have to keep watch over them at all times. There would be kidnapping attempts galore until they got the hint that he was a far more dangerous enemy than Minaka. After that there would be more subtle methods, such as planting suitors and who knows what else.

The problem was that even if he and Xanna took them all to a new dimension, the same thing would just repeat itself eventually.

He _could_ just bully the world into submission but that would open a whole other can of worms that he didn't want to deal with. Not to mention that he wanted the girls to be able to live their lives without constantly being gawked at and feared.

A light touch on his arm startled him out of the deep thoughts he'd sunk into.

"You ok Naruto?" Yashima asked with some worry, using his name for a change. "You zoned out for a bit."

"Yeah I'm ok, just thinking of something." Naruto assured, steadying Kusano as the girl groggily woke up.

"Onii-chan, this is boring." The young Sekirei complained with a pout. It had looked more fun from a distance.

"Want to ride something faster?" he asked with a grin, pointing at a rollercoaster.

Kusano nodded eagerly, thinking that the fast ride looked fun, especially after finding out that the ferris wheel was unexpectedly dull.

Twenty minutes later, all three of them discovered that large quantities of snacks in combination with rollercoasters often resulted in projectile vomit. Naruto was fine, not really needing to eat and having an adamantium stomach in any case, as was Yashima, who hadn't really eaten much. Kusano unfortunately, had pigged out on snacks like a bandit and subsequently covered all three of them in puke.

Personally, Naruto had found it hilarious, but the girls were less amused. Fortunately, another petty abuse of godlike power took care of it so there was no harm done, though he'd have to remember not to let Kusano stuff her face like that again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The furious video game battle between Haihane and Uzume was interrupted by yet more knocking.

Akitsu made to go answer the door again but Xanna pressed her feet down to prevent her from getting up. "Haihane, you should answer the door this time."

"But we're in the middle of the game." The bandaged Sekirei said, repeating her previous excuse.

"Just go open the door." Xanna said with a sigh.

"Fine." Haihane huffed and went to do as she'd been told.

Uzume snickered, very amused by the scene. She'd loosened up a great deal by now and wasn't uncomfortable around Haihane anymore. Even if she had been, this scene had looked so much like a mother sending a temperamental teenager to do a chore that it was impossible not to laugh.

"I was not acting like a mother to Haihane, the person knocking on the door is simply someone that she knows." Xanna said, seemingly out of the blue.

Uzume's head snapped in her direction with wide eyes. Had she just….?

"Yes Uzume, I read your mind."

What the hell? Did the horned woman do that all the time?

"No. You are, quite frankly, not that interesting."

Well now wasn't that somehow both reassuring and insulting at the same time?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Beni?" Haihane asked in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Benitsubasa shifted awkwardly, clearly not very comfortable. "Can we talk?"

Seeing that her sort-of friend and former teammate was being uncharacteristically non-angry, Haihane was plenty willing to do that. Besides, she'd missed teasing Benitsubasa about her flat chest. "Lets go to the roof, it's private."

A couple of minutes later, the two Sekirei were dangling their legs over the roof and Haihane started the conversation. "So Beni, what's eating you so bad that you came all the way over here?"

"It's….well, it's Natsuo-sama."

Haihane rolled her eyes, instantly deducing what was going on from that one sentence and the obvious frustration in Benitsubasa's voice. "He's not letting you ride his pole is he?"

"He hasn't even let me see him in _days_. Ever since you and Karasuba-senpai left, the Disciplinary Squad basically doesn't exist anymore and Natsuo-sama doesn't want anything to do with me. I might have gotten to spend some time with him if there was actually something to do, but that blond bastard is somehow keeping the whole city pacified while he goes on doing whatever he does."

Haihane's grin kept widening during the diatribe, finding the situation incredibly funny. "Yeah, when Naruto takes over, he _takes over._"

"It's not funny!" The Red Sekirei yelled, incensed.

"Oi Beni, calm down." Haihane said, the last of her snickering dying down. "You knew that Natsuo was a fruit before this, did you really think you'd get his interest just because you had him all to yourself?"

Benitsubasa looked away with a sour look on her face. She _had_ in fact been gleeful over the fact that she had been the only member of the Disciplinary Squad to stay on board and therefore have exclusive access to Natsuo. She'd figured that without Haihane or Karasuba to get in her way, she'd be able to get into his pants in no time. Only, it had turned out that not only was his interest in her as non-existent as before, now she was lonely on top of it.

"So, what do you want to do?"The Blue Sekirei asked, for once disdaining to poke fun at the pink haired one.

"I don't know." Benitsubasa said, kicking her legs out at the same time, which made Haihane bite her lip at how childish her old teammate looked at that moment. "I just wanted to talk to someone and you're the only one I know besides Karasuba-senpai."

"Is she here too by the way?" The Red Sekirei asked before Haihane could respond.

"Nah, Naruto and her have some weird thing going on where they fight for fun. The last time they did it, she got knocked out and took off as soon as she woke up and hasn't been seen since." Haihane explained.

"That pervert's ruined everything." Benitsubasa sulked. She couldn't believe that she was missing the days when Karasuba was scaring her to death with her odd moods or Haihane was teasing her. It had made her angry and frustrated at the time, but it was better than what she had now, which was an endless stream of _nothing._ Natsuo wanted nothing to do with her and actively avoided her the more she pursued him, there was nothing to do and no one to talk to. It sucked.

"I think it needed to be ruined." Haihane shrugged. "Did you know that our reactions to Natsuo were artificially induced? We weren't _really_ supposed to react to him."

"Did Uzumaki tell you that?" Benitsubasa scoffed after she got over the momentary shock. "The pervert has to be lying, there's no way you could just make a Sekirei react."

"This is the guy that can unwing Sekirei as he pleases and make them unwingable." Haihane said back with a grin. "I think he deserves the benefit of the doubt on this one."

Benitsubasa was about to reply when a new voice suddenly intruded. "Oh my, if it isn't Nipples! The Amazing Raging Sekirei!"

Temper instantly reaching fever pitch at the presence of the man that pissed her off on so many levels and at the nickname which reminded her of their last encounter, Benitsubasa spun around and drove her fist at full power to where she expected his gut would be. Her aim was spot on, but the abs she hit felt more like a titanium wall than flesh, which made her yelp in pain and cradle her wrist.

"What the hell are you made of?!" She screamed at the grinning man.

"A concentrated mixture of awesome and testosterone, with a helping of hentai for flavor." Naruto retorted instantly. He'd never admit it, but he'd been waiting for someone to ask him that for _months_. Well before he and Xanna even arrived in this dimension in fact.

Haihane giggled at the infuriated look on Beni's face. She'd missed that look of red faced rage.

"Gimme that hand." Naruto said and snatched Benitsubasa's injured wrist without giving her a chance to comply.

"What the hell are you doing?" She demanded, trying to pull her hand out without injuring it further, but having no success. A second later it became a moot point as a cool numbness spread through the hand and causing the pain to vanish.

"It would've healed by itself in a few minutes anyway." She muttered sourly, refusing to be grateful. He'd been the one to injure it in the first place anyway, according to her logic at least.

"So, did you come here to be unwinged too?" Naruto asked, smirking at her surly behavior. Surly females were nothing new to him and he definitely wasn't going to be put off by one.

"No way!" Benitsubasa asserted. "You're not going to subvert me the way you did Karasuba-senpai and Haihane." Despite everything, she did still have hope of getting together with Natsuo, fading though it was.

"Well then, you might need this if you want to seduce that Ashikabi of yours." Naruto said and presented her with a rather large strapon dildo.

"AAAGGHH!" Benitsubasa howled her rage to the backdrop of Haihane's hysterical laughter. "I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

Looking at her back as she stormed off, Naruto yelled after her. "You forgot your strapon!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"Ah well, I guess I'll mail it to her or something." He muttered, setting off a new round of giggling from Haihane.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So, you need help healing your Ashikabi Chiho?" Naruto asked, steepling his fingers in a manner befitting an evil mastermind.

"Considering that you were the one who baited me here with claims of being able to heal, you should already know that." Uzume replied dryly.

It was hard to be afraid of Naruto at this point, seeing as he had come through the room and put the exhausted Kusano to bed, looking far more gentle aboout it than someone of his intimidating appearance had any right to be.

They were currently in the last empty bedroom of the penthouse, where they had gone so that they could speak privately. If he got any more Sekirei to move in with him, they'd either need to start bunking together or he'd need to buy the whole damn floor.

"I'll take that as a yes." Naruto stated seriously. "Wait right here, I'll be right back."

"Wait, what…?" Uzume started saying only to trail off with her mouth open as Naruto vanished for a moment and reappeared with Chiho in his arms.

"….are you?" Chiho was saying with a highly alarmed tone of voice, no doubt frightened at the sudden appearance of a horned man.

"Chiho!" Uzume exclaimed joyously and rushed to give her Ashikabi a hug, which coincidentally did a lot to calm the sickly girl down.

"Uzume-chan, what's going on? Who is he?" Chiho asked in a loud whisper that completely failed to prevent Naruto from hearing the question.

"I am the great Satan!" He announced ominously before the Sekirei could speak. "Uzume has paid for your healing by giving me unlimited use of her body for any and all depravities as well as her immortal soul."

Chiho gasped and stared at Uzume in horror. In that particular instance, Chiho forgot that she wasn't actually religious, though it was undestandable since a creepy looking horned man had abducted her from the hospital and was now telling her that he was the devil.

Uzume couldn't help chortling at the joke even as she rushed to explain that it _was_ actually a joke. "He's just kidding Chiho-baby, he's not Satan and he's not asking for anything in return for healing you…..though I wouldn't have minded one or two rounds of depravity in exchange for that." She finished cheekily, causing her Ashikabi to blush.

"But….the horns…" Chiho tried to say, unsure of how to express her feelings on the matter. Things were happening so fast that she wasn't really keeping up.

Naruto once again spoke before Uzume could. "I'm such a massive pervert that I've grown horns, this way everyone that looks at me knows that I'm a horny bastard."

Uzume snickered again, but tried to focus on the task at hand. "Okay Naruto, we get it. You're hilarious, now can we please get to the healing."

"Right you are, we can't let such a pretty girl stay sick now can we." He said and placed his hand on Chiho's stomach. The shy girl was blushing up a storm both at the casual compliment and the touch.

Now, Naruto didn't know the first thing about whatever virus was slowly killing the tiny girl, but there was one surefire way to fix any disease. Flooding her body with healing energy and using it to transform her weak and failing immune system into something that would have doctors everyhwere gaping in astonishment. With speed that nature didn't really allow, the immune system which had previously been akin to an ailing kitten that was just barely clinging to life was transformed into something more closely resembling sabertooth tiger in a blood rage and it instantly turned on the virus and metaphorically tore it to pieces. Noticing that her muscles were fairly atrophied as a result of inactivity, he gave those a little boost as well.

Within seconds, Chiho felt the pervasive weakness that had plagued her for as long as she could remember recede.

"There we go, now try to stand." Naruto said.

Chiho did as she was told, a bit clumsy at first, but her limbs soon remembered how to support her. She stared in amazement at her hands as she clenched them, marveling at the strength she could put into that action. Mere seconds ago she couldn't even make a decent fist, much less stand or clench her hands with enough strength to turn the knuckles white.

"How do you feel?" Uzume asked, both worried and hopeful.

"I feel incredible, I've never felt this good before." Chiho answered with a tone of dazed wonder.

That was all the response Uzume needed as she rushed at her Ashikabi and hugged her, though she still made sure to keep her own strength in check, just in case.

After they separated a short while later, Uzume turned to Naruto and spoke empathically. "Bro, you are _amazing_!"

"What did you just call me?" Naruto growled back.

Both girls blanched at the growl and Uzume hesitantly spoke again. "Umm….Bro?" She hadn't even thought of it, it was just the way she spoke, but hadn't Haihane said something about him liking it when girls called him that? Why was he angry?

Naruto continued to give her a penetrating look for a few moments and then spread his arms and said in a questioning tone. "Little sister?"

"Bro?" Uzume said again, hopeful that he'd just been kidding.

"Little sister." Naruto repeated in a tone of assurance.

"Bro!" Uzume exclaimed happily.

"Little sister!" Naruto echoed her sentiment.

"Bro!" Uzume jumped into his open arms.

"Little sister!" Naruto hugged her and a rocky beach appeared, bathed in the glow of a dark orange sunset.

Chiho stared at the spectacle, at first confused and then rapidly becoming incredulous as it got more and more ridiculous. Bending down, she picked up one of the smaller stones and threw it into the ocean, gaping as it made a splash. "No way, it's real?!"

Naruto and Uzume separated and the beach sunset vanished instantly. "This one was for you Lee and Gai-sensei, you crazy bastards."

"Who are Lee and Gai-sensei?" Uzume asked in bemusement.

"Just a couple of lunatics in green spandex I used to know, good guys but definitely a few cabbages short of a tomato salad." Naruto explained, much to Chiho and Uzume's continued confusion.

"Now then, there is only one more thing to do." He announced, grabbed Uzume again and swung her into a dramatic dip.

"Bro?" Uzume questioned in confusion, but was ignored.

"The beautiful and petite Chiho, weakened by her illness and subsequent recovery-"

"But I feel great!" Chiho protested.

"The beautiful and petite Chiho, bound to the bed with a mysterious cloth-"

"Whaaaaa-!" Chiho tried to question only to find herself suddenly bound to the bed with a mysterious cloth.

"Was helpless to resist the attentions of the chesty sexual predator that had decided to claim her as a mate." Naruto continued.

"I think I like where this is going." Uzume commented with a grin.

"Uzume-chan!" Chiho tried to protest, her face burning bright red. Alas, she was ignored.

"After all, such a tale of dramatic rescue _has_ to end with sex or else be classified as a children's tale."

Naruto conveniently ignored the fact that there had been nothing dramatic about the rescue. He'd just teleported in, snatched the girl and teleported out.

"Bro, I love the way you think."

"That's because you're a pervert little sister, just like me." Naruto responded with a grin and let her stand on her own again. "Feel free to go nuts on the room, I know Miya is so prudish and uptight that you'd need the jaws of life to pry her ass open."

Uzume chortled at the mental image and aimed an anticipatory, leering expression at the bound Chiho, who was looking both aprehensive and turned on.

Naruto nodded to himself and showed himself out of the room with a final comment to himself. "I have furthered the cause of girl on girl action, the good has been upheld."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A bleary Chiho and grinning Uzume joined them for breakfast the next day, having spent most of the night cathing up on things that they'd missed due to their separation. Mostly physical things.

"Had fun?" Naruto asked the cloth using Sekirei with a grin. The light show and chakra surges that had been coming from the room he'd given the two had let everyone know what was going on in there.

"You have no idea." Uzume responded with a grin of her own and a backstretch, which did interesting things to her large breasts.

"Ah…false, we have a very good idea." Akitsu countered quietly and shifted a bit closer to Xanna. She had been surprised at her own lack of longing at the obviously strong bond between Uzume and Chiho, but hadn't given it much thought. She was happy with where she was right now and wouldn't trade it for anything.

The comment garnered a few snickers, but it gave rise to certain questions in Uzume's mind. "Bro, what have you been teaching her?"

"Me?" Naruto asked in surprise. "You're looking at the wrong person, Akitsu's sassy personality is all thanks to my dear wife."

"Sassy?" Uzume repeated doubtfully, staring at the expressionless ice Sekirei. Akitsu didn't seem like the sassy type.

"Are you trying to say that Akitsu is not capable of being sassy?" Xanna asked archly.

"Well no….." Uzume denied awkwardly, unsure of how to respond. The word 'sassy' brought to mind someone who was energetic and lively…..which Akitsu was not.

"Ah…..Uzume-san thinks that I am dull." Akitsu said, giving every impression of sad realisation, from her depressive expression to the way she leaned into Xanna's side for a hug as if seeking comfort.

"What? No, I didn't mean that!" Uzume hastily denied. The last thing she wanted to do was offend someone that was obviously valued by Naruto and his wife.

"It's alright Akitsu, some people simply have no decency and feel the need to put others down." Xanna said soothingly and rubbed one of Akitsu's arms.

"That's not what I meant!" Uzume insisted, starting to become a little desperate to prove that she wasn't like that.

Akitsu looked at the cloth wearing Sekirei and blinked slowly before speaking in a dull monotone. "…..It's fine, I am used to being considered…inferior to others."

"But I don't think of you that way at all! You're a very beautiful woman and a wonderful person."

"So that's how it is? Now that you've had your way with me you're going after Akitsu?" Chiho suddenly spoke up with a sniffle, having picked up on the fact that Uzume was the butt of a joke. "I guess I should have expected it, her breasts are much bigger than mine after all."

Uzume nearly gave herself whiplash from the speed at which her head snapped towards her Ashikabi. "That's crazy, I could never just leave you for someone else." Literally, what with the bond between Ashikabi and Sekirei and whatnot.

"I suppose you were lying to poor Akitsu about being beautiful then?" Xanna asked with heavy disapproval.

Uzume had by now developed a rather frantic expression from the multi sided assault and didn't know what to do anymore. Fortunately, Haihane and Yashima's giggling snapped her out of it and made her realise that she was being messed with. "You guys are totally trolling me here!"

"Took you long enough to figure out." Haihane snorted.

"Akitsu's poker face is too perfect, you can never tell what she's thinking." Uzume groused good naturedly.

About half an hour later, Chiho and Uzume were ready to get going, having decided that they were going to stay at Izumo Inn despite Naruto's offer to move in with them, though Uzume was willing to reconsider that decision if Miya insisted too hard on her no sex rule.

There was one more thing that Uzume wanted to say to Naruto before leaving though. "I didn't thank you properly for healing Chiho yesterday bro, so….thank you. If there's anything I can do for you, anything at all, just ask." She said empathically.

"Stop being so serious and give me a hug." Naruto commanded, snatching her into a hug before she could respond. "I might take you up on that offer soon though, but don't worry, I think you'll like what I want your help with."

"Hehe, you should come by the Inn sometime you know? Miya wants to talk to you and Xanna anyway." Uzume said as she hugged him back. The giddy feeling at being freed from Higa and having Chiho healed completely still hadn't faded and she couldn't be happier with her decision to take that bait.

"Eh, we'll get around to talking to Miya when we feel like it." He said dismissively. She'd get her turn too, but there were still things to be done before the conversation with Miya.

Uzume snickered, amused at how casually they were snubbing the most powerful of all Sekirei.

"By the way, would you like to be there when I kill Higa and Kakizaki?" Naruto asked, figuring that she'd want some payback.

Uzume's expression darkened at the mere mention of the bastard that had used Chiho to blackmail her and his chief toady. "You know, I think I would."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

On the evening of the same day, Naruto and Xanna went their separate ways(literally, not figuratively), leaving all the Sekirei alone in the penthouse.

While Xanna went to the mansion of Mikogami Hayato, Naruto stared contemplatively across the city, pondering a little mystery about the Sekirei that had caught his attention.

He'd need to examine some more Sekirei before he could make any conclusions but so far every bit of evidence he'd seen seemed to indicate that his suspicions were right.

There was something strange and just plain _wrong_ with the Sekirei, but it was more evident in the Fist and Weapon types. They were far more prone to violence than the elemental types and a disturbingly large percentage of them were bloodthirsty psychopaths like Yomi and Amebane.

Naruto liked to have at least a vague idea of where most Sekirei were so that he could prevent any stupid fighting between them. Some of them were still under the impression that the Sekirei Plan mattered, despite even Takami spreading word that it was defunct(against Minaka's wishes no doubt).

This allowed him to know who was the perfect target for his investigation. It was time to pay the western part of the city a visit.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sanada Nishi was not an idiot despite looking like a dumb biker for all intents and purposes, but it payed to have people underestimate you sometimes. He was also a lot like Seo in that he kept an ear to the ground and thus kept himself informed of important goings on in the city. His Sekirei were very important to him and he did all he could to make sure they all survived.

So it was that when Naruto appeared, he was not busy trying to figure out what the hell he was and wondering when demons had started roaming the Earth. Instead, he was trying to figure what the hell he'd done to rate a visit from the city's new boogeyman.

When rumor had gone around that the Sekirei Plan had been canceled, he'd been sceptical but cautiously optimistic and had taken pains to convince his fellow Ashikabi in the western part of Shinto Teito to avoid fighting of any type. He was glad he had done so when several further rumors had gone around of a horned blond man killing several Sekirei and one Ashikabi.

Which of course, still left the mystery of this visit.

"Uzumaki, to what do I owe the pleasure?" He drawled warily, using his arms to prevent any of his six Sekirei from walking in front of him. If his information was correct, then picking a fight with this man would be a terrible idea. Inwardly, he desperately hoped that the three of his Sekirei who were bloodthirsty and violent would listen to him this time, even though it was getting harder and harder to control them.

"There was a little something bugging me about the Sekirei as a whole and you happen to have six of them that are just the right type, so I came to take a look at them." Naruto answered, looking over the girls that Nishi was trying to keep behind him with limited success.

All of them except the little girl that looked about twelve years old were dressed in bikini tops , but it was obvious that three of them were itching to attack him then and there. Seeing them so close together it was like the difference between night and day, with three looking cheerful and curious and three of them murderous.

"What type would that be?" Nishi asked warily, cursing inwardly when he saw Chiyo, Yuuna and Hatae adjusting their weapon grips, cleary debating with themselves whether to attack or not. This could get messy really damn fast.

"Close combat types and you just so happen to have six, as I said before. Even better, three of them are clearly salivating at the idea of killing me."

The words startled Nishi and provoke the three Sekirei he'd mentioned into stepping around him with clearly hostile intent.

"I'm not just going to let you kill them. They're my Sekirei even if they are hard to control." Nishi asserted, preparing himself for what may or may not be a losing battle. He wasn't sure if even all of them together were a match for Uzumaki, but it didn't matter if he'd come here to kill them, they would need to fight either way.

"Well, fortunately for you I'm not here for that. What I _would_ like is to see whether Chiyo, Yuuna and Hatae can fight or are they only good as eye candy and bed warmers." Naruto said mockingly.

Nishi had no time to calm the situation down or explain that those three had never shown the slightest bit of interest in sex and were still virgins. He'd only slept with Kuzuri and Kujika while Shijime took the role of a little sister.

Naruto's taunt instantly provoked the three killers on the offensive, Chiyo swinging her scythe wide, Yuuna staying a bit further off and lashing out with her wires and Hatae flanking with with her claw knives.

Naruto easily avoided the multi pronged attacked and tsked as if disappointed, deliberately provoking them further.

The three Sekirei continued attacking almost manically until Naruto allowed them to sink their weapons into his chest, making all three give triumphant exclamations.

"Well that was enlightening." Naruto commented idly, as if he wasn't injured and ripped their weapons away. Too shocked to react, all three found themselves bound in chains, Yuuna and Hatae lying helpless on the ground while Chiyo was held suspended spread eagle in front of him.

"Now lets see what's going on with you." He muttered, placing his palm on her stomach and ignoring the angry cursing of the slightly anorexic looking Sekirei.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Nishi demanded, stepping closer while ordering the other three of his Sekirei to stay back. The negligent ease with which Chiyo, Yuuno and Hatae had been defeated had shown him quite clearly that they were very far from being able to challenge the horned man.

"I'm having a look at her Sekirei core and how it's interacting with her body." Naruto explained absently, not taking his attention away from the Sekirei in front of him.

"And what are you seeing?" Nishi asked, more calmly this time. It didn't look as if there was going to be any killing today, for which he was glad. He didn't want three of his Sekirei to be killed even if they were pretty crazy.

"Not sure to be honest. I'm not exactly a medical expert, but it looks like the core is stimulating certain parts of the brain, along with increasing adrenaline production." Naruto answered thoughtfully.

Not really giving Nishi time to answer, he freed one of Chiyo's arms and put a dagger in her hand. Predictably, she tried to stab him in the neck. He let her do it and she was instantly sprayed with his blood, but he wasn't paying attention to that and he'd blocked off his own pain response anyway. Far more telling was the surge of pleasure he felt from her at the fact that she'd caused him such a 'grievous injury' and possibly killed him since she wasn't aware that he was entirely unkillable.

Binding her hand again, he commented in the same thoughtful tone. "Seems like she literally gets off on killing and causing pain and I'll bet the other two are the same."

Nishi stared at the horned man, somewhat bloodstained himself, unable to believe that he'd just seen a man take a knife to the neck without flinching and then healing as if it was less than a paper cut.

Frowning thoughtfully, he put Chiyo with the other two and looked at Nishi. "They all reacted to you right?"

"Yeah, of course they did." Nishi answered cautiously, wondering at how that was relevant.

"So it's not that either." Naruto muttered to himself and turned towards the other three Sekirei, the ones that were not obsessed with violence. "Would one of you girls please step forward so that I can have a look at you too?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto went back to the hotel, some of his questions answered but most of them not.

The other three girls were vastly different from the three crazies, having only a slight enjoyment of fighting and really just wanting to have fun and spend time with their Ashikabi. Which of course meant that it wasn't a case of being a close combat type that influenced whether a Sekirei went a bit kill happy or not, at least not exclusively.

It also meant that the Sekirei reaction proved exactly _nothing_ as far compatibility with an Ashikabi went, which was something he'd suspected from the start in any case. If it had meant anything, then Sekirei with such wildly different personalities wouldn't have all reacted to the same Ashikabi. Never mind the fact that sociopathic killers wouldn't have any interest in love and therefore wouldn't have reacted if things were actually the way that MBI had advertised them. Minaka actually believed his own spiel about destiny, but that lunatic knew less than he thought he did.

It also explained how exactly scum like Higa and Kakizaki had gotten any Sekirei at all. The reaction was either completely random or it simply happened after a Sekirei spent a sufficiently long time around _any_ Ashikabi. And after he'd gotten his first two, Ichiya and Toyotama, Higa had seen their use as enforcers and immediately sent them to capture more in order to forcibly wing them.

He didn't quite have an explanation for Kusano's long distance reaction yet, but hers had been the only one he'd seen so far, so he didn't really have anything to compare it to. But he'd figure it out eventually, he knew he would. This whole situation was looking more suspicious the more he thought about it and the one most likely to have answers was Miya, but he wanted to know more before he spoke to her, even though he was dying to see if he could provoke her to violence through sheer force of perversion.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A nervous Mutsu led Xanna through Hayato's mansion, desperately hoping that his Ashikabi would listen to him and not antagonize the horned woman. She made him nervous, as she exuded a sense of power and danger even greater than Naruto, which he'd not even thought was possible.

The two Sekirei that Hayato had assigned to scout the southern parts of the city for any more unwinged ones had come upon her and approached in an effort get some information out of her.

Their unconscious bodies had been dumped in front of Mutsu when the horned woman had appeared right in front of him and demanded that he take her to 'the sniveling child who owns this gaudy pisshole'. Mutsu suspected that the woman had been the one who had arranged the encounter with the now unconscious Sekirei to make a point. Well, her point had certainly been made and he hoped that his young Ashikabi would know better than to throw any of his usual tantrums when things didn't go the way he wanted.

Meanwhile, Xanna was restraining herself from giving a disgusted snort at the overly opulent mansion. She hadn't teleported directly to Mikogami because she'd been a bit curious about this place, but now she was feeling the vague urge to start spewing fire at everything.

The hotel that she and Naruto were staying in at the moment was expensive and opulent to be sure, but it wasn't done in such an absurd and gaudy fashion that it almost made your eyes bleed from all the crap that was on display. Whoever this child's parents were, they had apparently decided that they needed to display how rich they were by buying up anything expensive and then hanging it along the walls without too much concern for how it looked. To be honest, the mansion gave off the vibe of a warehouse for dumping their acquisitions rather than a place to live. Considering that they'd left their son here along with a bunch of servants, it said a lot about their parenting style.

Finally, the reached the room where Hayato was waiting for them.

He was dressed in one of his frilly silk shirts, along with an expensive pair of pants and shiny dress shoes. The whole outfit made him look spoiled and more than just slightly ridiculous.

"Welcome, Mutsu told me that you would be coming." Hayato greeted politely, with a smile and everything. He kept eye contact, just as his etiquete tutors had told him to, despite the ominous crimson eyes and slit pupils. He payed no attention to her horns and gave every impression that he was not rattled by her odd appearance and height.

For days now, Mutsu had been on his case about being polite and respectful to this woman when she arrived, which would be at some undetermined time. He'd reiterated constantly that she was likely to be even more dangerous than the feared Hannya of the North and that it would be best to simply do as she asked and hope she left quickly.

"I am Mikogami Hayato, Ashikabi of the South, as you already know. May I have your name?" Hayato continued according to protocol, though a note of pride entered his voice when he said his title in the Sekirei Plan. He was quite proud of himself for having managed to get the most Sekirei out of all the Ashikabi out there. It meant that he was doing well in this exciting game.

Xanna's lip curled in disgust at the conceited little brat and the pride he took in enslaving others. She was not particularly sympathetic to the Sekirei that had bonds forced on them because of the idiot child's belief that the whole thing was a game and that the Sekirei were toys, but the sheer stupidity of it made her want to slap a Caged Bird Seal on his forehead and give the controls to someone like Musubi for the sake of irony.

Instead of a verbal response, Hayato found himself yanked into the air and held suspended there.

"What are you doing?!" The young Ashikabi yelped in alarm and tried to struggle free, to no avail.

"Be silent, or I will break your jaw." She stated flatly, and tore off the frilly shirt. Not because she had to, but because it was one of the ugliest shirts she'd ever seen and it was annoying her to no end with the way it was fluttering around.

"Mutsu help me!" Hayato cried out, ignoring the warning.

Compelled to move by the order, Mutsu tried to do as he was told, but found a single black pole impaled into the fleshy area of his shoulder. For a Sekirei it should have been a negligible injury, but he collapsed like a stack of cards and felt a terrible chill grip his body, preventing him from moving completely.

Meanwhile, Xanna had done as she had said she would and backhanded Hayato across the jaw hard enough to break it. "People in this world make too many empty threats…..nobody takes a threat seriously anymore."

The young Ashikabi screamed as much as he could with his jaw broken and instantly started crying. It was by far the worst thing he'd ever experienced, used as he was to a life of luxury and comfort.

Xanna's disgust rose further at the display, unable to help comparing him to a fifteen year old Naruto. Her husband had frequently trained until he scraped the skin off his knuckles or cracked his bones when he was that age and this brat was crying over something as minor as a broken jaw?

She knew that it wasn't a fair comparison, but she'd never cared about being fair anyway.

She'd wanted to examine an Ashikabi that had many Sekirei, preferably of all types and Hayato just so happened to be the most suitable for that purpose. Naruto had even been nice enough to give a warning of her coming, but he hadn't cared enough about the brat's welfare to do any more than that. Hayato was fifteen years old and as far as Naruto was concerned, more than old enough that he should have known better than to treat the Sekirei like toys or collectible items and therefore old enough to suffer the consequences of his actions.

While Xanna started examining the many Sekirei bonds linked to Hayato, Mutsu struggled to speak against the chill gripping his body. "Please s-stop, he's just a c-child."

"I am over three thousand years old, do you have any idea how many children I've killed?" Xanna asked flatly without turning to him, continuing to separate the mess of connections into individual threads. "Besides, he is fifteen, not a child and should survive in any case."

Mutsu felt a chill of an entirely different sort crawl up his spine at that bit of knowledge. The off hand claim that Hayato 'should' survive was not particularly comforting either. The horned woman clearly didn't care either way and would make no effort to make certain.

Uncaring of the disabled Sekirei's worries or the fifteen year old Ashikabi's pained crying, Xanna was focused on the system of connections. It did not take her long to find the thread that linked Mutsu to him, as it was the strongest by a considerable margin.

Much to her amusement, it looked as if Hayato had actually established enough connections to the chakra cores of various Sekirei that he would be capable of using a few of the more basic Ninjutsu available to shinobi, even if the chakra he'd siphoned was not really his. Though, with no one to teach him, he'd never have realised it. Once again, this seemed more pronounced with Mutsu's connection, probably a subconscious side effect of the fact that Hayato valued him above any of the others he had. Mutsu was a sort of big brother to him, while the others were merely 'things'.

Curiously, it seemed as if the feelings of distress that Hayato was feeling were also being projected along the connection, though only Mutsu's connection seemed strong enough to carry the feelings.

Wondering if they would carry in the event that his distress was increased, she callously reached over and broke his wrist.

Mutsu instantly felt his Ashikabi's pain and became even more desperate to free himself, but the Outer Path rod kept him immobile. The distress didn't travel along the weak bonds that he had to the others though, making Xanna wonder if it was because he placed no real value in them or if it was because he was simply so used to relying on Mutsu for protection.

Idle curiousity satisfied, she grabbed hold of a random bond and snapped it, sensing the sudden shock of a Sekirei in another corner of the mansion and then a stampede as over twenty Sekirei charged to her position, becoming aware that their Ashikabi was in danger.

They reached her quickly and stormed into the room with the intent of protecting the brat who had enslaved them, the false love that the bond forced on them compelling them to it.

Xanna pinned them to the walls one by one and looked at them closely, this time looking for the same bloodthirst that Naruto had noticed in several Sekirei already.

All of them were throwing curses, threats or pleas to stop hurting their Ashikabi at her, but some were because they wanted to protect their enslaver and some were because they wanted to kill.

Xanna made careful note of the bloodthirsty ones, seeing that every last one of them was a close combat type.

Out of the twenty four Sekirei bonded to Hayato, eighteen used either weapons or fought barehanded. Of those eighteen, seven had only murder in mind and of those seven, five were weapon users. Among the elemental types, there were none.

Considering that there had been only only one hundred and eight Sekirei on their ship, that was a ridiculous number. Any society produces the occasional psychopath, but for so many to be among such a small number of Sekirei could only mean that Naruto was right to smell something suspicious about the whole situation.

It would not have been strange if there were only decent people among the one hundred and eight Sekirei, but to find that seven out of twenty four were natural killers and all of them close combat fighters? Yes, there was definitely something very rotten about the whole thing and Xanna had a feeling that she and Naruto were on the right track to figuring it out.

Her investigations done, the horned goddess proceeded to snap every bond except for that of Mutsu, who had already declared that he wished to stay with the spoiled brat.

That act brought about another wave of exclamations from the gaggle of Sekirei, but it was quickly silenced when she simultaneously broke the necks of all the bloodthisty ones and disintegrated their bodies. She could hardly let them go free and rampage across the city after all, that would almost make her feel responsible for the deaths they'd cause and it was better to just kill them all.

"You were all winged forcibly by this sniveling idiot." Xanna stated, gesturing at the whimpering Hayato, who had barely even noticed the loss of nearly all his Sekirei, focused as he was on his own pain. "I've freed you and made you unwingable so that it cannot happen again. If you actually wanted to stay bonded to the meatbag for some reason, then come speak to my husband and he will restore your winging ability and bring you back here. Mutsu will show you where you can find us." Of course, she very much doubted that any of them would go for that. Once the initial shock wore off, they'd realise that they didn't want anything to do with Hayato and his deluded opinions that Sekirei were toys to be played with, not to mention that Naruto had a strange sort of blunt charisma and could convince a donkey that it was a horse if he had enough time.

Mutsu knew instantly that this was not something to be contested. He would show the newly freed Sekirei to the hotel where the two monsters were staying, or else likely get a visit from the horned man, who would probably finish what his wife had started.

He grimaced when he realised that Naruto hadn't even lied to him. Hayato was alive, though he'd suffered injuries because he'd annoyed the horned woman, but all the effort he'd put into winging as many Sekirei as possible was now gone, having done nothing but make him a target.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Satisfied with what she'd found out and having fulfilled her husband's request to free the Sekirei that Mikogami had forcibly winged, Xanna made her way out. The Sekirei inside the room dropped to the floor and the rod in Mutsu's shoulder vanished, allowing him to move again and start taking care of his injuried Ashikabi.

As soon as she made two steps down the hallways and before she managed to teleport away, her eyebrow started twitching in irritation as she once again saw all the gaudy crap lined along the hall.

Suddenly developing a grin as an idea came to mind, she sent all of it to what Naruto liked to refer as 'the interdimensional storage locker'. She had to admit that it was an appropriate term for the empty spot between dimensions that both of them used to dump various things that they didn't want to get rid of but didn't want to carry around in real space either. It was convenient place because it was in permanent temporal stasis and thus, nothing inside it suffered from the ravages of time.

A couple of minutes later, Mikogami Hayato's front yard was host to the most expensive bonfire in the history of bonfires.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Aaaaand we're done with chapter six!**

**What happens next? Well, it involves several Sekirei with big breasts...which is not much of a hint as that is a fairly good description for most of them.**

**Please donate unto me your reviews :P.**


	7. Chapter 7

**And here we are once again. I think I've already answered any non-plot related questions through PM's, so there's nothing to really write here.**

**Enjoy :P.**

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Akitsu blinked sleepily as she woke up. As was often the case these days, she'd passed out from exhaustion in the middle of having sex with Xanna and Naruto due to her inability to keep up with their energy. A quick examination of her body revealed that the bruises around her wrists and ankles from the manacles were healed, her nipples didn't feel sore from the clamps anymore and her rear end had long since stopped stinging from the paddling. The only discomfort came from the soreness between her legs and that was a good kind of discomfort.

The night had been lots of fun and Akitsu remembered how loudly they'd made her scream with considerable embarrassment.

She noted happily that she was pressed closely up against both of them, with her and Xanna laying on top of Naruto's wider body. The horned goddess was taking up more room, but Akitsu considered this to be perfectly normal and was more than happy with the position. Especially since Xanna also had an arm thrown over her.

Akitsu was aware that Naruto figured that she would eventually want more than this, that she would want someone to put her first, but he was wrong. She'd never trade what she had now in exchange for something else. True, neither one of them had the same depth of feeling for her as they did for each other, but she was valued and had a place to belong and that was all she'd ever wanted.

A light dusting of pink spread across her cheeks as she indulged in one of her little guilty pleasures, staring at them as they slept. She was fairly certain that Naruto would tease her if he found out she did this, but she knew enough about them by now to know that neither one would really mind.

Naruto was much the same in his sleep as he was awake, save for the lack of that irrepressible grin that adorned his face so often. Akitsu had always liked how that grin managed to be reassuring despite his otherwise threatening features, though it could just as easily project a terrible menace when he was angry, such as when Yashima's Ashikabi had attacked them.

Xanna was a bit different though. With her features slackened in sleep, she didn't exude the same sense of aloof superiority. But even in sleep, everything about her spoke of arrogant perfection, a physical beauty that passed beyond mortal ability to obtain. Akitsu had wondered about that for some time, having deduced that it simply wasn't possible that anyone could have been born with a body and face so perfect, but she hadn't dared ask. Xanna had noticed her curiosity anyway and explained proudly that she had made countless adjustments to her body over the centuries until she had perfected it.

Lightly running her hand along the smooth skin of the horned woman's back so as not to wake her, Akitsu had to agree that it was perfect. Naruto had long since noted that Sekirei were less fussed about gender than humans when it came to the choosing of partners, but Akitsu was a little bit different. Having despaired of ever having someone want her, she was entirely indifferent. Which naturally meant that having one of each and both of them of such impressive phsysical stature was as good as it got for her.

The blush on her face deepening, she indulged in another guilty pleasure.

"Ah...love you."

The whisper was barely audible, as she didn't actually want them to hear her speaking the words to them, but she did want to say them. She knew that they didn't feel the same for her and didn't want to seem as if she was trying to wedge herself into their marriage, but she really did love them. Naruto had come get her off that cold bench and given her a home and Xanna had invited her to their bed. Sure it had come with the condition of being completely submissive, but that was exactly Akitsu's comfort zone anyway so she hadn't even registered it as being strange.

Maybe they would return her feelings one day, Akitsu was more than willing to wait for that to happen. And if it didn't happen, then that was fine too. She would still be able to love them and that was enough. Unlike many of her fellow Sekirei who had little choice in who they loved because of the winging that was so often forced on them or the reaction that Naruto had deduced was caused by MBI's meddling, her feelings were her own.

Once, the Sekirei crest on her forehead had been a source of shame for her, a mark that showed everyone how worthless she was, but now she took pride in it. The other Sekirei could have their wings and their human Ashikabi, Akitsu had found her place with the two deity's for as long as they would have her.

"ONII-CHAN!" Came the sudden and unexpected wail of Kusano as she barged into the room, uninvited and unannounced as was often the case with children.

Multiple things happened in that instant.

Akitsu twitched in sudden startlement, her face glowing a deep red as she instinctively worried that her silent confession of love had been overheard, no matter how unlikely it was.

Xanna opened glowing crimson eyes and growled angrily at the rude wake up call.

Naruto also woke up, instantly realised the danger of the situation, oozed out of bed and maneuvered his wife and Akitsu into a cuddling position, whispering an apology into Xanna's ear and pressing a quick kiss to her cheek as he did so. Next he materialized a set of pants to cover his nakedness and scooped up the child Sekirei, preventing her from making any more loud and irritating noises even as he carried her out of the room.

Xanna continued to grumble even as she wrapped her arms around the Ice Sekirei. "Idiot children, I don't know what Naruto sees in them."

Naruto thought that Kusano was cute and wanted to see her grow up. He had all sorts of plans to tease the hell out for her for the way she was behaving now once she was older.

Xanna thought that the child Sekirei was an annoying little attention seeker that needed an attitude adjustment. The fact that Kusano was only eight years old didn't really register as important to the horned goddess. If she didn't love her husband so much, she'd have probably killed that irritating brat already and put her out of her misery. She'd have done the same thing to Naruto when he was a baby if the seal hadn't prevented it after all.

Well, she'd have either left the area or made Kusano leave it first, but killing her was a close second option.

"When this ridiculous escapade of his is over, we are getting some living arrangements that allow for more privacy." She grumbled some more. Not that she was particularly fussed if anyone happened upon her or Naruto having sex, but she hated interruptions and being woken up before she was damn well ready to wake up.

Akitsu's face was still glowing red even though her worry of being overheard was assuaged. The change in position had ended up with her face pressed into Xanna's breasts because of the height difference between them, which she rather liked.

Knowing how much her mistress hated having her cuddling interrupted, especially in such an obnoxious manner, Akitsu decided to remedy the situation.

Xanna's grumbling turned into more of a purring noise when a delightfully chilly pair of lips and tongue started to squeeze, suck and lick one of her nipples, intersped with the occasional bite.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kusano glared tearfully at Naruto over the hand he was using to keep her quiet, upset that he'd carried her out of the room like that when she needed him. Especially when she needed him _right now_!

"Alright cutie, what's wrong?" He asked gently and removed the hand, making sure to block any noise from leaving the room. It was still pretty early after all and there was no sense in letting Kusano's outbursts wake up anyone else. It especially would not do to make Xanna any angrier than she was already.

True to his predictions, Mikogami's freed Sekirei had decided to move in to the various rooms near the penthouse now that the spoiled rich brat wasn't going to be providing for them any longer. None of them had wanted to go back now that they were free, but they didn't feel particularly safe being out in the city by themselves, so they had chosen to take advantage of Naruto's offer of protecting and providing for them. Most of them still went about the city, but they knew that they had somewhere to go if they ran into trouble.

With that many people living in close proximity, it got rowdy enough during the day when everyone was awake, no need to have Kusano waking everyone up this early and making them cranky.

Instead of answering, Kusano chomped down on Naruto's finger with all the force of her eight year old Sekirei jaw.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at the miniature cannibal and waited for her to figure out that she wasn't hurting him. This was so going on the list of things that she was getting teased for when she was older.

After a good half minute, Kusano clued on to the fact that there were no screams of pain coming from her stupid big brother and let go with a pout. Shi-chan and Takami-nee had always screamed when she bit them for ignoring her, which sort of tied in to why she'd woken up so upset.

"You done?" Naruto asked, eyebrow still raised.

Kusano nodded, still pouting.

"What's wrong?"

"Kuu-chan had a bad dream about Shi-chan getting hurt, I miss Shi-chan." She whined plaintively.

"And 'Shi-chan' would be Shiina?" Naruto questioned, knowing that the two had been close while they were in the labs. Shiina had kept Kusano's powers in check with his opposing ones while they were both still in the labs and the two had become very close. Even if Naruto had stabilized Kusano's core so that her powers no longer ran rampant, he could easily see why she would want the Death Sekirei back in her life.

"Uh huh." Kusano responded, getting calmer now that she could see that her big brother understood.

"And you want me to get him for you?" He continued questioning.

"Uh huh." The Green Girl's eyes were big and hopeful by this point.

"Alright, I'll get him, but you have to promise me that you'll never just barge into our room like that again. Understand?" Xanna had been very patient so far, but he had no desire to see how far that patience extended if these kind of wake up calls kept happening. Besides, it was common sense to not make one's wife angry.

"Okay." Kusano said quietly, not really understanding why but seeing that it was serious.

"Good, I'll get Shiina around noon or so."

"But that's _hours_ from now." The child Sekirei whined. "Why can't you go now?"

"Kuu-chan, it's not even five in the morning. Wherever he is, he isn't going to be awake right now and it's rude to wake people up this early." Naruto said back with some incredulity, mixing in a slight rebuke since she'd done exactly that just now. He might be a god and didn't need to sleep, but that didn't mean he enjoyed getting up at the crack of dawn.

Especially since he was sensing something very interesting going on in the bedroom and had every intention of joining it.

Kusano looked like she was about to start crying all over again and was already making a bizzare keening noise in the back of her throat.

Naruto poked her in the stomach to cut it off and make her giggle. "None of that now, you'll get your Shi-chan soon, just be patient."

Several minutes later, Kusano was sleeping back in her bed due to Naruto's use of his power to knock her out again and Naruto himself was joining his wife and Akitsu in their early morning wake up sex.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto rubbed at his face and considered the situation as he stared at the apartment building where Shiina was located. The problem was that the Death Sekirei had recently gotten himself winged, and to Sahashi Yukari of all people. He knew that Takami hadn't wanted either of her kids involved in this Sekirei business so it was delightfully ironic that both of them had ended up being Ashikabi.

Shrugging to himself, he decided to simply approach them and decide what to do then. If Yukari was a decent enough girl, he would take her along with Shiina and if she wasn't then there was another unwinging going to happen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sahashi Yukari started when the knock on the door came, having been busy staring at her new bishounen boy toy that had just now finished explaining that he was a Sekirei, as well as this Sekirei Plan. Though he had seemed rather uncertain about the plan itself, mentioning something about it no longer being in effect. He hadn't known too much about what was disrupting it, having fled the labs in search of his little sister Kusano. All he had to go on had been some vague comments from some 'lead adjustor' lady that had been too busy lately to properly explain things to him.

She opened the door and immediately stumbled back in surprise as she found herself face-to-chest with an enourmously tall demon of a man.

"Good afternoon." He greeted pleasantly and invited himself inside. "My name is Naruto and I'm here because I need to ask you a few questions.

"What kind of questions?" Yukari asked suspiciously once she had gotten over her surprise.

"Nothing too special, I just need to determine whether I'm going to allow you to two to stay bonded and take you both with me or if I'm going to unwing Shiina and take just him." Naruto explained honestly.

"Run Yukari!" Shiina suddenly exclaimed, desperate to save his Ashikabi. He hadn't known her long, but he'd reacted to her and he liked her. He might not like hurting people, but he would use his power of decay on this strange horned man to protect her.

Yukari did not heed the warning and only stumbled back and watched.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at the glowing palm that the almost girly looking Sekirei had placed on his chest. It radiated a feeling of death, which he knew was this particular one's power and a great power it was.

"What a scary power." He quipped. "But I'm afraid it doesn't work on gods."

Shiina stumbled back, gaping in shock at the fact that his power had failed. It had never failed to decay anything before.

"Gods?" Yukari gulped, seeing the horns and predictably drawing all sorts of wrong conclusions.

"Yep." Naruto confirmed without explaining further. It was always funny to see what people came up with in these situations. Some people went with the religious explanation, some tried to break it down logically and some went into outright denial. He was not disappointed.

"A-Are you here to drag us to your lair of debauchery like in some demon manga?" Yukari asked with only a slight quaver in her voice.

Naruto gave her an extremely strange look and opened his mouth to say no, only to realise that he could not deny the exact _literal_ truth of the question. He _was_ going to drag them off whether they liked it or not and the penthouse _was_ a lair of debauchery among other things. Any place that was hosting both him and Xanna qualified as a den of debauchery by default.

"I suppose you could say that, but it's not what you...think?" Naruto answered, only to trail off questioningly when the girl approached and started feeling up his bare chest. "What are you doing?"

"If I'm going to become some demon's harem girl, then I'm going to inspect the merchandise first." Yukari stated firmly, ignoring Shiina's protestations.

Naruto turned his eyes heavenward and had but one thought go through his head. _One of these days, I'm going to find out why this sort of thing only happens in places where the people speak Japanese. _It may not have been called Japanese back in the Elemental Nations, but the language was the same. Weird, but he'd seen weirder.

He could _maybe_ see it happening in the Elemental Nations if you found just the right type of girl and both sets of Japan he'd visited so far were clearly capable of producing such individuals, but he couldn't imagine that he'd get this kind of reaction in America, which had been his and Xanna's last stop.

One thing about her statement needed to be corrected though. "You _do _know that you aren't the one that gets to 'inspect the merchandise' if you're getting dragged off to become a harem girl?"

"You're no bishounen, but all these muscles are pretty hot too." Yukari said with a perverse giggle, obviously not listening to a word he'd just said.

"So sorry that I'm not some pretty boy for your groping pleasure." Naruto said with vast amounts of sarcasm, wondering how long this girl intended to keep feeling him up. He'd have stopped her by now, but he couldn't help his own morbid curiousity.

"It's ok." Yukari said back absently, completely missing the sarcasm and only vaguely registering that someone had apologized to her, so deep was she in her perverted little world.

Naruto looked down at the girl with a look so incredulous it might as well have been used as a picture in a dictionary next to the explanation of 'incredulous'.

"Yukari-san, I think you should stop." Shiina said in a loud whisper for some reason, as if afraid that he would attract Naruto's attention if he spoke too loudly. Naturally he was ignored.

"Demons are always huge in ero manga and anime, I wonder how big yours is." Yukari was muttering to herself, this time drawing an amused look from the horned blond, who was wondering if she'd actually stick her hands down his pants to check.

"Yukari-san!" Shiina hissed urgently, trying to drag the girl off but finding her to be endowed with the strength of perversion.

"Oh my God! What do you feed this thing?!"

Naruto was even more amused. Clearly this was one girl that had even less control of her perversions than Jiraiya.

"Your mother."

That seemed to finally startle the young pervert out of her own little world, making her look at Naruto in surprise.

"You've got my mother in your harem too?!"

The blond rolled his eyes at the one track mind she was displaying, highly amused that she hadn't picked up even on _that_ joke. "No, your mother still hasn't given in to my charming personality. But to get back to the point, I'm here because Kusano misses her 'Shi-chan' and I've come to get him."

"Kuu-chan is with you?" Shiina asked in surprise and hope.

"Yeah, she barged into my room this morning all teary eyed because she had a bad dream about you, so you're coming with me one way or the other." Naruto confirmed.

"What about me?" Yukari demanded.

"I don't know, what about you?" He said back, deliberately winding her up.

"Shiina is my Sekirei, you can't just come in and take him even if you are some kind of demon god." She huffed back.

"I can actually, but that's not the point."

"Then what is the point?"

Instead of answering, Naruto swiftly slapped a palm on Shiina's chest and unwinged him before either could react.

"What did you do?!" Yukari yelled at him.

"Unwinged him." Naruto answered blandly.

"Why?!" Yukari yelled some more.

"So that he has the free will to make a decision on whether he wants you around or not."

"But I reacted to her." Shiina said weakly once he had snapped out of the slight daze he'd been in.

"That doesn't mean anything." Naruto rebuffed. "Now take a few deep breaths, calm down, and think about whether you _really_ want her in your life."

Having no particular choice in the matter, Shiina did as he was told. A few deep breaths later, he was staring at Yukari and thinking, being fairly certain that Naruto wouldn't let him get away with instantly saying that he wanted her to be his Ashikabi again.

It was a strange feeling to be unwinged again. The adoration he'd felt for Yukari earlier was suddenly gone, replaced by a more simple desire to know her. He still liked her even though he wasn't her Sekirei anymore, though he felt strangely irritated and jealous that she had groped the horned blond earlier. That hadn't been there when he'd been winged.

"I would like her to be my Ashikabi again, but I would also like it if Yukari-san could tone down her groping." Shiina finally said after several minutes of silence, speaking the last part to the girl.

Yukari beamed at him and agreed to try controlling herself. She didn't actually understand how important the bonding was, but she had liked having someone so devoted to her. It didn't hurt that he was a pretty boy.

"Suit yourself." Naruto shrugged and reversed the unwingable state on Shiina. "You'll have to kiss her again though."

Shiina looked about sixteen or so and was more or less an adult by Naruto's standards anyway, so he wasn't going to stop either one of them if they wanted this.

One kiss and light show later, they were all just about ready to leave. Before they could though, the TV activated all by itself and showed an image of the white cloaked MBI director, his shaved head now sporting a decent amount of very short silver hair.

"Sahashi Yukari! Welcome to the...!" Minaka started with his usual enthusiasm but choked off the words rapidly when he noticed Naruto standing there.

"Hey there princess." Naruto greeted, making a veiled referrence to Minaka's castration.

"Naruto-san." The man replied with a certain degree of nervousness.

"You wouldn't happen to _still_ be trying to keep the Sekirei Plan going are you?" The horned blond asked pointedly.

"Err...no?"

"Good good, we wouldn't want any accidents to happen now would we?" Naruto said with menace and materialised an exact copy of 'Amaterasu-chan'. "The Sekirei Plan might cause Amaterasu-chan to get...hurt."

Naruto punctuated this last word by squeezing the fake rifle, making it give off a series of creaking, cracking and metal stress sounds.

"Amaterasu-chan!" Minaka yelped, staring fearfully at his beloved rifle. "You've made your point Naruto-san, I will desist."

"Good boy." Naruto said snidely and put the fake rifle away. Minaka cut the connection moments later.

"What the hell was that all about?" Yukari demanded in confusion.

"It was a tale of love and woe between a man and a laser rifle."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Some minutes later, they were all back at the penthouse and Shiina and Kusano were hugging each other and crying in a display so sweet it could make your teeth rot just by watching it.

Yukari had bugged him some more about the thing between Minaka and 'Amaterasu-chan', but he hadn't been willing to explain. Telling a girl that he and Xanna were mentally tormenting/emotionally blackmailing her crackpot father with a fake laser rifle was just not something he was going to get into. He didn't hate Yukari enough to tell her that she was related to Minaka.

Speaking of Yukari...

The girl's fingers were twitching as she looked around the room at all the boobs, clearly dying to grope a few. She seemed to be having particular difficulty with Akitsu and Xanna, which Naruto considered only natural. Xanna was the definition of exotic beauty and Yukari's peculiar habit of comparing reality to manga was making it hard for the girl to stick to her promise about controlling her groping habits.

As for Akitsu...well her chest was simply huge by the standards of humans.

"I can't take it anymore!" Yukari suddenly proclaimed and launched herself towards Xanna with clear intent to grope. Apparently the desire to find out how firm the breasts of a goddess were had overcome the young pervert.

Naruto could only shake his head when his wife smacked the charging pervert across the room when she made it into range.

"Yukari-san!" Shiina cried out in worry for his Ashikabi.

"She'll be fine." Naruto said dismissively, knowing that the girl was still alive and would only have a minor bruise for her trouble since Xanna had held back a lot. "Lay her down on the bed in that room over there, that's also where you'll be sleeping by the way." He said, pointing out the last empty room in the penthouse.

Shiina nodded gratefully and carried his unconscious Ashikabi to the indicated room.

"Where do you find these kinds of people beloved?" Xanna asked, equal parts amused an annoyed by the attempted groping.

"I've been wondering that myself." Naruto said back dryly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto was once again lurking over the city, looking for another Sekirei to talk to/unwing/save from her fate. Or perhaps something new.

Unlike his usual solitary trips, Akitsu was by his side this time, having asked(in her usual hesitant and fidgety way) if she could accompany him.

In the distance, he felt an unstable Sekirei core going out of control before being suddenly pacified by the use of some opposing power from another nearby Sekirei. The unstable one was quite familiar and he'd observed the other one before as well. Homura and Tsukiumi.

Naruto grinned. This should be good. "We've got something Akitsu, lets go."

"Ah...yes."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A drenched, miserable and slightly burned Homura stared up at the Water Sekirei in exasperation. Her rants about being the strongest and hating all Ashikabi got a bit repetitive after a while.

"Well well well, if it isn't Sparky. How you doing Sparky?" A familiar and far too amused voice rumbled from above.

_And now this guy..._ Homura sighed internally, looking upwards and having to do a double take at the sight.

Naruto was standing on the wall, completely parallel to the ground as if gravity originated from inside the building instead of the Earth. To make it even stranger, Akitsu was sitting on his back as if he was a bench and looking subtly pleased with the position.

"Who art thou to intrude upon mine conversation with Homura, fiend?" Tsukiumi demanded.

Naruto blinked in surprise at the silly old style speech pattern and proceeded to ignore the chesty blond in favor of asking the Fire Sekirei another question. "Why is she talking like that, is there something wrong with her? Is she one of _those_ people, you know, the ones who take role playing a little too seriously?"

Homura snorted in amusement and was about to answer but was beaten to the punch by the volatile water user.

"Water Celebration!"

The pressurized water attack was reflexively blocked by a shield of ice by the impassive Akitsu. After the attack was blocked, Akitsu decided to chastise her fellow Sekirei for the attack, even if Naruto couldn't be hurt by it.

"Ah...bad girl." She'd heard Naruto using that chastisement on little Kuu-chan a few times when the child Sekirei had thrown one of her tantrums.

Naruto snickered, prompting Akitsu to grab hold of him tighter since her seat was shaking.

"How darest thou treat me like a child!" Tsukiumi snarled and launched another water blast at the two of them, only to gape in shock as it reversed direction and drenched her instead.

"How darest thou try to initiate a wet T-shirt contest without getting thineself wet first, not to mention that I don't wear a shirt." Naruto said back mockingly, snickering most of the way through his sentence because he couldn't keep a serious face while using that outdated speech pattern.

"Beast, thou wishes to violate mine body, do thee not?!" Tsukiumi snarled again. "I shall not allow it!"

"Well in that case, I guess I'm not going to be violating your body." Naruto said flippantly, restraining a shrug so that he didn't shake Akitsu off his back.

"Ah...master, you can violate my body." Akitsu offered with a note of hope in her voice.

"You say the sweetest things Akitsu."

The Ice Sekirei bashfully looked away, her face flushed with pleasure.

"Why are you here Uzumaki-san?" Homura asked tiredly. The byplay had been all sorts of amusing, but all he really wanted to do right now was go back to Izumo Inn and sleep off his latest set of burns.

"Why, I'm here to ask if you're done being stubborn of course!" Naruto chirped with far too much cheer. It came off as really creepy coming from a man like him.

"About what?" Homura evaded.

"About your unstable core you twit, what else would you be stubborn about?" Naruto said sarcastically, accompanied by an eyeroll.

Homura winced. He hadn't wanted to go to the horned man for help with that even if Uzume couldn't stop praising him for the way he'd saved Chiho.

"Actually, I was hoping to find a suitable Ashikabi first, but it looks like I'm running out of time." Homura said in defeat.

"Actually, you're already reacting." Naruto pointed out. "But you knew that didn't you Sparky?"

The Fire Sekirei winced even more. He had a very good idea who he was reacting to and he was _not_ happy about it.

"Yeah I knew, but I just couldn't believe it. How can my destined one be a man? I'm not even gay!" Homura said in frustration.

"I thought you were over your stupid phase Homura, but I guess not." Naruto spoke in a disappointed tone. "The reaction has nothing to do with your so called 'destined one'."

While Homura aimed an irritated look at the horizontal blond for insulting his intelligence again, Tsukiumi re-inserted herself into the conversation, her attention drawn by Naruto's latest statement. She'd stayed quiet for a while, intimidated by the obvious power that this horned man had, not to mention that his flippant and unconcerned behavior had caught her somewhat flatfooted, but her pride would not allow her to flee.

"What would a fiend such as thee know of the Sekirei?" She demanded.

"What would a Sekirei such as yourself know about the Sekirei?" Naruto asked back with a grin. "I've been investigating the Sekirei for a while now and I've learned a thing or two."

"Tsukiumi, please." Homura said to the Water Sekirei pleadingly, very much hoping that she would shut up for a while and stop interrupting what promised to be yet another significant revelation. "What _does_ the reaction mean if not the presence of our destined one?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" Homura and Tsukiumi echoed in bafflement.

"Nothing." Naruto repeated with amusement.

"Then explain why we react if it doesn't mean anything." Homura challenged with just a hint of accusation in his voice.

"Chakra resonance." Naruto replied instantly.

"What is chakra? Speak plainly!" Tsukiumi demanded once again.

"It's the energy that makes up your Sekirei core."

"And this chakra resonance?" Homura prodded cautiously.

"The longer that a Sekirei spends in the presence of an Ashikabi, the greater the chance of a reaction being triggered. There are various factors that decide how long that time is, such as the strength of the Sekirei and Ashikabi in question, as well as how similar in spirit they are."

"But wouldn't a 'similarity in spirit' as you called it mean that an Ashikabi and Sekirei are compatible?" Homura asked almost desperately.

"Nope, it just means that good natured Sekirei tend to gravitate towards good natured Ashikabi as a rule of thumb. It doesn't mean that they're going to be compatible and even the nicest of Sekirei would react to the biggest scum of an Ashikabi you could find if they spent a long enough time in close proximity. Of course, the instant love that the bond forces on the Sekirei makes compatibility a moot point anyway."

"This can't be right, Sekirei can't just react to everyone like that." Homura shook his head in denial.

"But they do." Naruto refuted, amused. "Minaka's meddling with your cores has left you all in this condition and it has suited him just fine because this way he could force everyone into his ridiculous Sekirei Plan."

Homura cursed, angry at the demented MBI CEO all over again. He had no reason not to believe the horned man, he'd proven himself more than powerful enough already that he didn't need to lie in order to push an agenda.

"Homura, thou believe this fiend's words?" Tsukiumi asked cautiously.

"Yeah, I do."

"Why do you keep calling me a fiend anyway?" Naruto asked the water user.

"Thou looks like a fiend." She stated flatly.

"Do I really look like a fiend Akitsu?" Naruto asked his passenger.

"ah..." Akitsu gave off an air of deep contemplation for a few seconds. "yes, a perverted fiend."

"Fair enough." Naruto conceded with a grin. He actually kind of liked that. "Soooo, Sparky...want me to fix you up now so that you don't need to get winged by a guy in order to stop burning yourself?"

Homura sighed, both in defeat and in irritation at the nickname and nodded.

Making his way to the ground, Naruto deposited Akitsu on her feet and placed his hand on Homura's chest.

"Oh my, looks like you've been turning into a regular she-male because you reacted to a man." Naruto snickered, much to Homura's embarrassment.

"Shut up!"

Still grinning, the horned blond reversed the physical changes, noting the strange malleability of the Sekirei body as he did so. Perhaps another thing worth looking into, or perhaps not. Meh, he'd decide later.

When Homura was fully male again, Naruto stabilised his core and blocked off the winging ability. He also went and healed the recent burns while he was at it.

"Thank you Naruto-san." Homura said once it was done, realising just how much better he felt now that his core wasn't acting up all the time.

"No problem." Naruto waved off and turned towards Tsukiumi again. "You want me to make you unwingable too? You _are_ reacting you know, and to the same guy as Sparky ironically enough."

"So that dream _was_ a reaction!" Tsukiumi stated angrily, obviously upset by this.

"Dream?" Naruto asked, his gaze suddenly sharp.

"Hey that's right, if the reaction doesn't mean anything then what about when Sekirei reach out to an Ashikabi in a dream?" Homura said in realisation, having forgotten about that while he was arguing with Naruto earlier.

The horned blond wasn't listening however, as he had already moved closer to Tsukiumi and was peering at her in an attempt to suss out the mysteries of the long distance reaction which had puzzled him for the past few days.

"Stay away beast!" Tsukiumi warned, already preparing her water for an attack in case he tried anything.

"Calm your tits Sprinkles, I'm not going to hurt you." Naruto told her as he approached, idly slapping aside some of her water.

Tsukiumi fumed at the blatant disrespect, but kept still. For all her claims of being the strongest, she knew that she wasn't. Not yet. But this fool would rue the day he disrespected her so once her strength became greater than his. Rue!

"Oh I see." Naruto snickered.

"What?" Both Homura and Tsukiumi asked.

"Looks like long distance reactions are a specialty of certain types of elemental Sekirei. You've got lots of chakra dispersed through the water vapor in the air, which increases the range at which you sense Ashikabi. Minato just happened to be the closest one and the one most well matched to you on top of it. Kusano must have reacted at a distance because she has chakra threaded through the plants of the city. The dream is the easiest part to explain, it's nothing more than a weak mental connection created by the forming bond."

"I will kill the monkey and free myself!" The water Sekirei declared.

"If you try to come near him, your reaction is going to get stronger and you probably won't be able to do it." Naruto pointed out, grinning. "And even if you do manage it, the backlash of your half formed bond to him will force you to feel guilty about it, as if you'd killed a dear friend or long time lover."

"So am I supposed to just allow this monkey to paw me like some possession?!" Tsukiumi demanded indignantly.

"For one thing, the only thing needed to create a full bond is a kiss. For another, while Minato is a wimp, he's a decent guy and wouldn't touch you unless you allowed him to. Thirdly, he's so weak willed that you would walk all over him. And finally, I can make you unwingable if you want, just like I did to Homura."

Tsukiumi opened her mouth a few times in an attempt to speak but nothing would come out. He'd just shot down pretty much every misconception about winging that she had, along with every reason she had for resisting it. On top of that he had also offered to completely remove the possibility of it ever happening.

"Homura, can he be trusted?" She asked the Fire Sekirei, considering the offer.

Homura nodded firmly. He was ready to trust the horned blond by now, he'd done enough to warrant it already.

"C-can, thou restore my ability to be winged later?" She asked of Naruto, cursing her slight stutter.

"Naturally." He responded easily, raising an eyebrow

"Very well then, make me unwingable...but thou must promise that thou will restore me if I demand it!"

"Of course, I promise."

One minute later, during which Tsukiumi had demonstrated a great deal of blushing and stuttering that was quite unlike her previous forceful demeanor, it was done and Naruto was just about ready to leave. Tsukiumi was really something else, she acted like she was the toughest girl out there but in reality she was actually pretty nice, very proud though. He'd have to keep an eye on the tsundere Water Sekirei so that she didn't get herself in trouble when she inevitably went looking for another fight.

"Lets go Akitsu, we're done here."

The Ice Sekirei nodded silently and moved closer to him.

"Wait just a second!" Homura said quickly, just as they were about to leave.

"What?" Naruto asked curiously, wondering what the fire user wanted.

"Miya has asked me to extend a dinner invitation to you and your wife. She says that she would like to speak to you about the future of the Sekirei."

Naruto rolled his eyes at the roundabout way that the woman was trying to get them to pay her a visit. "Well you can tell Miya that she'll just have to wait her turn, unless she'd like to make an appointment. Snatching up her feathers is busy work and I've got nearly thirty Sekirei to watch after now."

Homura made a choking noise at the idea of anyone telling Miya, Sekirei #01, to 'wait her turn or make an appointment', especially for the reason that Naruto had just given. Then the last part of the sentence registered.

"Wait, thirty?! When did you get that many?" Homura asked incredulously.

"Xanna paid that little shit in the south a visit and unwinged almost all of his Sekirei, they're living with us now." Naruto explained with a shrug.

Homura felt satisfied upon hearing that. More than one of the Sekirei he had tried to protect had been forcibly winged by Mikogami.

"One last thing before we go." Naruto continued. "Tell Miya that I might be convinced to stop by sooner if she were to send me a pair of her panties, provided that they had been worn for at least a day and that she took a bath before putting them on."

Homura struggled to contain his instinctive terror at the idea of telling Miya that, but failed and ended frantically checking the area as if she was going to show up at any moment.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto smiled to himself as he watched the sunset. Another day gone, another day closer to being done with his business in this city.

Honestly, he could have been done a long while ago, but there was no rush and he liked doing things slow. Though he quite honestly didn't like any of the big cities on this planet, too much concrete and steel and barely a hint of life aside from humans and the odd animal. Well that wasn't entirely true, the sewers were practically swarming with rats and insects, but he seriously missed the presence of plant life.

He wasn't too enthused with what he had as a solution for keeping all of these Sekirei he'd taken in safe, but he honestly couldn't see any alternative. Ironically enough, Xanna had been the one to suggest it and she was somewhat more in favor of the idea than he was, but for altogether different reasons. No government could be trusted to leave these girls alone. No matter how many times they were told that their power couldn't be exploited for their own use, they'd keep trying until they either succeeded or killed them all with their attempts.

Except of course, a government under his and Xanna's control. On a planet under their control.

The idea of proclaiming himself the emperor of some planet out there didn't sound like a whole lot of fun, but he had sort of backed himself into a corner when he'd gone and started collecting super powered alien little sisters. If he wanted to keep them safe without smothering them, he didn't have a whole lot of choice. He hadn't exactly been 'thinking ahead' while he was picking up little sister all over the place and by the time he _had_ bothered to think ahead, he'd already check mated himself. How embarrassing.

Well, there was the option of asking them to simply keep their powers hidden, but he didn't believe for a second that several dozen highly beautiful women(some of them hopelessly naive), would be able to keep a low profile.

That was another reason why he was basically procrastinating when he could have been done already. If he was going to end up with his ass parked on a throne soon, then he was damn well going to drag his feet about it. Xanna thought it was funny how he was delaying and taking entirely too much delight in his displeasure at how he had accidentally maneuvered himself into a position where he was forced to take a position of leadership. Tsunade would probably hack up a lung in laughter considering how he had resisted her attempts to foist the position of Rokudaime Hokage on him.

There were still plenty of minor things to be done, but none of them were strictly necessary. They were either going to be done for fun or because of curiousity, including the upcoming conversation with Miya.

The only big thing that was _really_ left to do was to dispose of Higa and his minions and then convince his Sekirei to accept his protection. Oh sure, the man had a lot of Ashikabi on his payroll, but most of them were down on their luck young fools that had gotten themselves into a bad situation and couldn't get out. Many of them would probably end up keeping their Sekirei.

The winging was an interesting thing like that. While it didn't prove anything to the effect of 'destined love' or anything similarly trite, there was one aspect of it that he couldn't help but like. If the Ashikabi saw their Sekirei as a partner/girlfriend/wife, then the bond would also act in such a manner and the Sekirei would be as free as any other woman in that kind of situation. It was the only part about the Sekirei core that was actually 'flexible'.

Which explained why Higa and Mikogami had so much less trouble controlling the psychos of their groups in comparison to someone like Sanada. Their Sekirei were slaves for all intents and purposes(with the sole exception of Mutsu).

It showed a lot of decency on Sanada's part that he didn't treat any of his Sekirei like possessions, but in this case it seemed to be the wrong thing to do, go figure. At least in the case of Chiyo, Yuuna and Hatae that was. Those three were going to slip the leash soon and try going on a little rampage, he just knew it and then he'd have to kill them.

Trying to 'fix' them wasn't an option. Not because he didn't want to, but because whatever was causing this bloodlust in them was definitely connected to the Sekirei core and both he and Xanna had already failed in their attempts to neutralize it without killing them or outright removing their core...which was also fatal. Normally, even that wouldn't be a problem since they could simply be resurrected right after, but they literally couldn't live without it. Trying to bring them back without a Sekirei core simply wasn't possible, their spirits- the thing that Minaka and MBI in general referred to as their 'Tama'- was inextricably linked to their core and might as well be the same thing.

Musubi was a special case in the fact that she had Yume's Tama inside her as well as her own, but that was a result of the attempts to remove her power when she'd been kidnapped as a child. Before meeting Musubi he'd been intending to extract Yume and restore her to her original body(which had long since rotted to nothing but bones, but that was no problem for someone like him). He'd known that it wasn't going to happen when he'd met her though. Musubi's core was a mess and Yume was acting like duct tape by holding it together. Either he or Xanna could have fixed it, but it would need constant oversight or else fall apart again. Maybe another semi-intelligent Fuinjutsu of the type he'd made for Pamela back in the previous dimension? If was worth a thought if he could figure out how to actually separate the two of them without tearing one or both of their souls to shreds. He wasn't too optimistic about it though, everything he'd learned so far indicated that this entire Sekirei thing was too rigid to be bent and twisted the way that he'd been able to do with things back in the Elemental Nations. It was actually pretty amazing that Minaka's blundering hadn't killed them all. Aside from being very smart in the book sense kind of way, he was also stupidly lucky.

He was going to have to leave the self-titled Sekirei of Fate(and wasn't _that_ an absurd moniker) where she was.

It had to be a pretty miserable existence for Yume, doing nothing day in and day out except keeping Musubi alive, but the woman had clearly thought it was worth it and Naruto would respect that. He knew that he would have certainly been pissed if someone had tried to tell him to just let Xanna die when she'd been dependent on him for survival.

At the very least reviving the Sekirei who had been 'deactivated' before his arrival would be easy. Just provide a jolt of energy and they'd be right back up as if nothing had happened. They would be unwinged if they had happened to be winged before, but that was actually the simplest thing to meddle with about their Sekirei core. That was fairly suspicious in and of itself, but he was waiting until he spoke to Miya before bringing that up. She was the only one that could possibly have answers for that little mystery, and it was not the only mystery either.

He now had a theory on why certain Sekirei were so violently disposed and why it appeared to only happen with close quarters types. Granted, it was a theory based almost entirely on guesswork and the most ridiculously circumstantial evidence you could imagine, but in combination with everything else, it seemed plausible enough to him. Once again a topic to lay on Miya. That woman sure did like her secrets, not that he could blame her when Minaka's stupid face had been one of the first things she'd seen when she woke up from stasis.

Surprisingly enough, Karasuba was _not_ among those Sekirei who were driven to insatiable bloodlust by their own power. Her desire for battle and the occasional bloodletting was of a more mundane variety and all the sadder for it. It should be exceedingly obvious to anyone if they put some thought in it and it Naruto found it endlessly amazing how dense and stupid people could be when they didn't put things together. It wasn't even as if anyone was trying to keep it secret, people just...didn't think about it. He was pretty sure that it would have taken him a grand total of three seconds to figure it out if he'd heard of it instead of having Xanna pass it on to him after ripping it out of Minaka's skull.

That was no doubt going to be an interesting conversation between him and Karasuba and one that was going to happen soon as well, if her presence hovering in a nearby building was any clue. Looks like the Little Crow had finally decided to approach him again, though he hoped she would wait for a little longer. He wasn't sitting on this particular building without a reason after all, if he'd really wanted to watch a good sunset, he'd have picked a building on the west side of town instead of the east.

She'd probably wait and see what he was up to though,he _had_ transformed and made a clone in her field of vision after all.

Anyone that looked at him right now would see a lanky twenty-something man with a black ponytail hanging between his shoulders and a silver haired woman at his side. Silver was not a normal hair color for humans so anyone that saw him (*cough* Higa *cough*) would assume that she was a Sekirei and he an Ashikabi. The predictable little idiot would no doubt send his gopher Kakizaki to approach him with 'an offer he couldn't refuse'. The moron thought that him putting an end to the Sekirei Plan and generally hurting MBI was somehow a good thing for him. Dumbass, he wouldn't have lasted a week in the Elemental Nations, where instead of phrases like 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend' you typically used 'the enemy of my enemy is my enemy'.

Naruto held back a sigh at the fact that Kakizaki _still _hadn't shown up and considered just crashing through the window. He had wanted to do things a bit differently for a change, but so far it was only serving to remind him why he had a fist first philosophy.

Deciding to give it a little longer, he returned to his wool gathering.

His recent thoughts about Karasuba led to the other two former members of the now disbanded Disciplinary Squad.

Both Haihane and Benitsubasa were a good deal more controlled than the various psychos among the Sekirei, but still enjoyed a good fight which was why they'd been chosen for it in the first place.

His lips twitched into a smile at the memory of his spying on Benitsubasa some hours ago. The pink haired berserker had been predictably infuriated when she found the strapon on her bed, which had been worth a few grins all by itself. Even funnier had been when she had started gnawing on her lip nervously and eventually grabbed it, rushed to her gay Ashikabi's room and put it on.

Naruto had nearly bitten his tongue off multiple times at her clumsy seduction attempt with that thing protruding from her waist. He'd also learned that she had apparently already offered her back door to Natsuo, only to be refused, which had no doubt prompted her to think that he must have been the one taking in the ass in the relationship with his now dead lover.

Predictably, she had been refused again and had stomped off in a fit of humiliation driven rage. She had also forgotten to untie the strapon, which had not helped her humiliation when she'd run into someone.

He felt bad for her when she got back to her own room and burst into tears though, so he'd resolved that he would leave her a present tomorrow. Serious anger management issues she might have, but he hadn't intended his little joke to upset her that badly and it wasn't her fault that her Ashikabi was fruitier than a fruit salad.

The slight smile turned into a full grin when he thought about who had almost been chosen as the fourth member of the third generation Disciplinary Squad.

Musubi.

After meeting her in person that was just funny beyond words.

It had actually been Karasuba who had suggested her and the ditzy fist fighter had almost been accepted. Only the fact that she was way too happy go lucky and massively resistant to all attempts at making her a bit more mature had prevented her from being chosen.

"Lovely sunset, isn't it Ashikabi-san?"

The oily voice broke him out of his thoughts. Damn but he was getting good at deliberately not paying attention to his surroundings if a weasel like Kakizaki had managed to sneak up on him. Though he had to give props to whoever maintained the hinges on the door that led to the roof, those things were silent as the grave. Maybe he should tone down this whole 'ignore everything in hopes of getting surprised' thing? Wouldn't do to have random civilians sneaking up on him.

Turning around, he saw the expected Kakizaki along with the semi-expected Toyotama and Ichiya. Higa's favored bloodhounds were already staring at him and his transformed clone hungrily. He didn't even need to read their minds to know that they really, _really_ wanted an excuse to kill them both.

"Who the hell are you and why do I care?" Naruto asked rudely, keeping up the act.

Kakizaki frowned at the rudeness but continued anyway. "I am Kakizaki and I work for Izumi Higa. I have an offer for you."

Getting up on his feet, Naruto stomped over to the man aggressively, making him step back and the two Sekirei with him to tense expectantly.

"Yeah, I bet you'd like me to become another of Higa's bought or blackmailed Ashikabi wouldn't you?" He asked with a vicious grin.

Kakizaki froze in surprise. Both he and Higa had assumed that the man must be a fairly new Ashikabi if he didn't know that the eastern section of the city belonged to Higa. This foreknowledge however proved otherwise. And why hadn't the man's Sekirei moved yet?

"Who are you?" Kakizaki asked with concealed unease.

Instead of answering, Naruto's teeth sharpened and he suddenly gained a great deal of mass, as well as horns. Before the stunned secretary could react, his arms were grabbed and pushed painfully into his body as he was lifted into the air.

"Uzumaki." Kakizaki gasped and saw with dismay that Ichiya and Toyotama were already wrapped in chains that had somehow formed from Naruto's now bare chest.

Naruto's grin widened. "You done goofed."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Some minutes later, he was sitting down again, this time in his true form and there was no transformed clone at his side. The two vicious Sekirei were dead and Kakizaki had been dumped into the Interdimensional Storage Locker for later. He had told Uzume that she could be there when he killed him and Higa after all. Actually, since there was nothing really in there right now except for Kakizaki and a bunch of deactivated Sekirei, maybe he should be calling it the Interdimensional Meat Locker? Nah, he'd just have to rename it again once those were out and they started putting some other stuff in there.

A blade laid against his neck from behind interrupted his deep, deep thoughts and this time he only smiled. She had been expected after all.

"Hello Little Crow."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**And here we have the seventh chapter.**

**I'm sure Tribenator, who has asked me to tease him some more with Miya enjoyed it especially...or was that a request to ****_stop_**** teasing him with Miya?**

**(Actually I was going to do this either way, but your review made me grin while I was writing it).**

**Additionally, I seem to have created another Karasuba cliffhanger, how deja vu of me.**

**I hope you enjoyed it and please gief reviews xD.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Several reviewers so far have mentioned that my last two stories have felt subpar in comparison to my first one and that I should write another original piece.**

**These people are neither wrong, nor are they assholes as the meme goes. They are however, severely underestimating how difficult it is to come up with a completely new idea of what to write about. Try it one day, it's not like flipping a switch, in particular since I refuse to start writing something that was half assed from the start and I may be unable to finish.**

**Don't get me wrong, I agree with you guys that it would be better to write something new, but until I get an idea I'm going to keep this up as practice if for no other reason.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Homura knew – intellectually – that procrastinating wouldn't do him any good, but he was doing it anyway.

How does one go about telling a proud, reserved, stately woman like Miya that not only was she being continuously, deliberately snubbed by someone, but that said someone had also demanded a pair of her used panties if she wanted to speak with him?

Somehow, Homura was utterly certain that it wouldn't end well, especially as he could easily see someone like Naruto rejecting said panties if they were not sexy enough. Not that Miya was likely to actually give him a pair.

Miya had been something of an immovable object for years now and Homura very much suspected that Uzumaki was akin to an unstoppable force. A confrontation between them might be messy, but it would at least resolve the situation as one would have to either move or stop moving. The problem was, that Uzumaki was taking a perverse delight in working _around_ said immovable object despite the fact that he more than likely didn't need to. Considering his repeated perverse provocation, he was probably trying to make Miya move.

Homura mused that it was actually easier to deal with Naruto than Miya. He was a big, crass pervert with no sense of restraint or boundaries, but he was also very laid back and rather helpful. The only time that anyone had actually seen the horned man get angry had been during that incident with #84's unlamented former Ashikabi , which was perfectly understandable even if the follow up had been a bit extreme.

If he was perfectly honest with himself, he hadn't really had any intention of telling Miya about their recent encounter at all. Alas, his perfectly reasonable and wise plan had been foiled by Tsukiumi.

The volatile Water Sekirei had eventually been overcome by curiousity and had come to visit Izumo Inn to take a look at the Ashikabi she had reacted to. Predictably, she had not been impressed by Minato. Naruto may have been harsh in his description of the young rōnin, but that didn't mean he was _wrong_.

Though obviously intelligent, he buckled under the slightest pressure and it was doubly bad when the pressure was being applied by a woman. Seeing as Takami was the boy's mother, Homura could somewhat understand where that had come from, but it didn't make him any less underwhelming.

Tsukiumi's temper on the subject of her would-be Ashikabi had been even more frayed due to the fact that he already had two Sekirei, Musubi and Matsu. Matsu, who had recently winged herself on Minato after she had reacted to him and was now chuckling perversely as she teased Tsukiumi.

He idly wondered if Matsu would still be so gleeful about being winged if she knew that the reaction meant absolutely nothing.

Either way, his cunning plan of keeping Naruto's perverse and insulting behavior away from Miya's ears would eventually be foiled. It hadn't been yet, but it wouldn't be long with the way that Matsu was provoking Tsukiumi.

"Silence thyself harlot! Know you not that the reaction is false? I am free while thee are reduced to being a harem girl for this weakling."

_Aaaaand there it goes._ Homura thought fatalistically as Tsukiumi's angry half-shout echoed through the area for all and sundry to hear, including the neighbours. The statement naturally drew plenty of curiousity and questions were asked.

A few minutes later, everyone had heard the gist of Tsukiumi's run in with Naruto, including the fact that Homura had been present.

"Ara, you didn't mention that you met Uzumaki-san again Homura. Did you forget?" Miya asked mildly and took a sip of her tea.

The Fire Sekirei didn't trust that mild tone, but knew that there was no point in doing anything but telling the truth. "No, I didn't forget."

Miya hummed, which could be interpreted either as appreciation of the tea or as something more sinister. Homura interpreted it as something more sinister.

"Did you extend my dinner invitation to him and his wife?"

Homura winced at the fact that she hadn't even asked why he hadn't told her about it. Still, he plowed on with this inevitable trainwreck of a conversation. "I did."

Several moments passed in silence as Homura tried to find some way of sugarcoating it so that wouldn't lead to Miya bringing out the Hannya mask. Naturally, he failed as Naruto's response had been so salty that it was sugar repellant.

"And?"

Homura winced again at the veiled impatience in her tone. He'd been procrastinating again damnit.

"He said that he was 'too busy snatching up your feathers' to talk to you and that you should make an appointment if you want to talk to him. I don't think he was serious though, since he also said that he would 'get to you eventually'." Homura finally said. There was no way in hell that he was going to repeat the part about the panties even if Miya wasn't the type to kill the messenger.

At first glance, Miya didn't seem to be offended, but a closer look would give lie to that impression. She was very carefully not-crushing her tea cup and her face still looked serene except for the minute tightness around her eyes. Well, that and the dark miasma radiating from her.

Miya was a proud woman and knew it. She was the Eighth Sekirei Pillar and the last one still among the living, the final goddess of Kouten, a possessor of vast power due to her position and as such had good reason for her pride.

Not even Minaka had ever disrespected her to this extent and she would have killed that fool long ago if he were not necessary, but even that abeyance had been strained. Especially as she had always suspected that he had a hand in Takehito's death, despite it supposedly being 'accidental'.

If something like this had happened before she had met and fallen in love with Takehito, she would have long since gone to challenge the offensive horned man to a battle, but she was different now. She could easily see that this Uzumaki Naruto was attempting to provoke a response from her with his actions and words. He was blithely pursuing his own agenda without any hint of subtlety and ignoring her wholesale despite being well aware of her identity.

Unfortunately, she couldn't say that his attempts at provoking her bore no fruit. Her pride was deeply stung by this dismissal and it made her itch to force him to acknowledge her, but that could prove problematic. He was not one of her tenants, who could be terrified into submission or forced to obey her rules. Miya would never admit that she mostly enforced her 'no illicit activities' rule for her own amusement, though she'd given Uzume and Chiho a bit of leeway and pretended that she didn't catch everything. But aside from her amusement, it also served to remind everyone that she was the strongest and was to be respected.

She also couldn't go storming through his front door to redress the insult he'd given without looking like a madwoman. In the end, she had no _tangible_ reason to be so offended aside from her pride in light of the fact that he was by all appearances trying to help the Sekirei, whereas she had more or less given up hope that there would be any Sekirei left alive in another twenty years.

Granted, they obviously had resources and powers that she did not, and were not as restricted as she, but it could not be denied that she had put away her sword and done nothing while her feathers fell one by one. Not that there was a great deal that she _could_ have done, considering the restrictions placed on the Pillars and Minaka's own safeguards, but she had not even tried after Takehito had died. Aside from being her love, he had also been the only hope for the survival of the Sekirei as a species and his death had meant their certain extinction. Minaka's ridiculous plans had only served to hasten the inevitable.

But now these newcomers had come, doing things that had been thought impossible as if it was nothing. Despite his abrasive and annoying personality, Uzumaki did seem to be genuinely helping the Sekirei, even though the manner of his help was rather unorthodox and he had already killed a number of them. For this reason, she would not react to the provocation and wait for their inevitable meeting instead.

Besides that, she also refused to be manipulated and these attempts to provoke a reaction from her were blindingly obvious.

Matsu had continued trying to find information on him and though little was found, video footage had revealed that every Sekirei that was now living with him seemed to be safe and in good health, with not a single one missing or looking mistreated in a way that would imply he was doing something unscrupulous with them.

Tsukiumi's continued freedom further reinforced the notion that all of them stayed with him of their own volition.

"I see, well I suppose that there is no harm in waiting for them to have some time for dinner with a poor widow like myself." Miya finally said, maintaining a conscious effort to make it sound as real as possible instead of showing just how much the spurned dinner invitation angered her.

Homura breathed a sigh of relief as the menacing aura around the purple haired landlady slowly receded. "At the rate that Uzumaki and his wife are going, it probably isn't going to be long in any case."

"Naruto-sama is coming over for dinner?" Musubi exclaimed excitedly from the doorway, having apparently heard the last part.

Homura jumped at the unexpectedly stealthy arrival of Musubi. Apparently, he hadn't been paying attention.

"Perhaps, though we don't know when." Miya replied, Musubi's infectious enthusiasm serving to cool her temper further. It was hard to be in a bad mood around the fist fighter.

"That's so amazing! He was really helpful when he explained that sex was like common sense! I want to ask him for a spar and he can ask oya-san about her carpets and drapes!" Musubi continued to gush, instantly sending a freezing chill down Homura's spine.

Now, Homura hadn't heard every detail about the time when Musubi and Minato as well as Seo and his two Sekirei had encountered Naruto, but he could connect the dots on this one.

Unfortunately, so could Miya.

"Ara? What's this about my carpets and drapes?" She asked with a pleasant smile that was somehow very menacing for just about everyone. She was also fairly irritated by the way that he'd apparently misled the naive young girl with his 'explanations', but she could get mad about that later.

Homura frantically tried to signal Musubi to stop talking, an act that was completely missed by the oblivious Sekirei.

"Naruto-sama said that he wanted to ask if your carpets and drapes matched, he seemed very interested about that."

"I see." Miya said calmly, her teacup stone still as she restrained herself from crushing it. She had a momentary strange hope that Seo would walk through the door so that she could throw it at him.

"What are thou speaking of in here? I heard mention of the perverse fiend who hath freed me." Tsukiumi demanded, having apparently chased after Musubi after deeming Minato and Matsu as unworthy of her time. The fist fighter was a warrior at least, unlike those two, even if she was an oddball.

"Naruto-sama might be coming to eat dinner with us, isn't that great? We could get to spar with him!" Musubi repeated excitedly to the Water Sekirei.

Musubi and Tsukiumi had, strangely enough, developed a tentative friendly rivalry since both of them liked to fight. There was no real friction between them since Tsukiumi remained singularly unimpressed by Minato and was extremely glad that she hadn't been shoehorned into becoming his Sekirei.

Tsukiumi blinked at that information and replied in a confused tone, ignoring Homura's even more frantic hand waving. "Did the beast not say that he would only come here if the landlady surrendered her underwear to him? Regardless, I too would welcome the chance to test myself against him."

The sound of a palm impacting a face went mostly unheard as Miya's smile became decidedly strained and a Hannya mask started forming.

Salvation from the horrible manifestation of ill intent came in the form of Seo's voice greeting Minato outside.

Without hesitation, Miya hurled her teacup out the door and at the pervert, just barely restraining herself from throwing it so hard that it would kill him.

Seo howled in pain and clutched at his bleeding head. "What the hell is wrong with you woman?! I haven't even broken any of your stupid rules."

"Speaking to me so disrespectfully is forbidden in Izumo Inn scum-san." Miya said almost cheerfully and smacked him over the head with a ladle that she had grabbed from somewhere on her way out.

Back inside, Homura was sweatdropping at how much harsher than normal Miya's treatment of Seo was. Clearly, Naruto had gotten to her already and they hadn't even met in person. He was most definitely not looking forward to the time when they actually sat at the same table.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_"Hello Little Crow."_

Karasuba really hated that nickname. Hated how diminutive it was and hated how it was always spoken in such a friendly tone. Even the very first time that he'd said it, he'd spoken it as if they were friends and he knew her well enough to provoke her with a challenge and a teasing nickname.

"Uzumaki."

"Mou, so distant and harsh. Is that any way to talk to a friend?" She could hear both the pout and the grin in his words. He knew far too well what he was doing and she hated it.

"I don't have friends."

"I'll always be your friend Little Crow, even if you don't want me to be." And she hated that reassuring tone just as much as she hated the nickname. And she hated that he hadn't gotten up and drawn his sword yet even though she was pushing the blade of her own into his neck hard enough to draw blood.

"You've got plenty of other Sekirei around you already. Be friends with them."

"This is not about being a Sekirei and besides, they don't need a friend as much as you do."

_That_ made her blood boil, she was not some weakling that needed help, or anything for that matter!

"It's not weakness to need a friend you know."

"I told you never to read my mind!" She seethed, pressing the blade into his neck harder.

"I don't need to read your mind to know what you're thinking right now Little Crow, you're pretty predictable."

Incensed, she tried to saw his head off but found herself pushed back when he moved with incredible speed. She hadn't even seen him move and yet he was now standing opposite to her with his sword already drawn.

"Why the hell are you so insistent that I need a friend?" Karasuba ground out, restraining the urge to attack him.

Naruto didn't answer for a long few moments and instead just took in the sight of her.

She looked tired. There were noticeable bags under her eyes and her hair was a mess. She had bags under her eyes the first time he'd seen her too, but it was a good deal worse now, she looked like she'd barely gotten any sleep for days. She'd also apparently dumped her haori somewhere.

"Carrying all that hate around must be pretty exhausting." He noted casually.

"Don't try to lecture me about hate." She spat out, reminded far too much of Yume at that moment. Her old rival's most annoying trait by far had been her stupid preaching about love and how she should let go of her hate.

"I wasn't, I was just making an observation." Naruto replied dryly. "Hate has its uses, but yours seems just a little bit forced."

"What would you know?" The silver haired Sekirei snapped angrily and attacked, wanting to forestall any conversation and get to the fight instead.

He fended her off easily with one hand, not making any attempt to fight at her level. With a final clash he pushed her away and Karasuba suddenly noticed that they were now in some ruined version of Shinto Teito and the evening twilight had been replaced by the darkness of a misery inducing downpour. The previously pristine buildings were now ruined husks and the streets below were littered with wrecked cars and the occasional tank. Through the rain, she could just barely see numerous bleached white skeletons scattered through the streets.

Across from her, Naruto stood silently and waited for her to finish taking stock of her surroundings.

"What is this?" She asked with much less heat in her voice than before. Even she was struck by how desolate everything looked.

"This is what you wanted isn't it? To see the world burn?" Naruto replied and gestured towards the distance. "This is probably what it would look like after the fires went out."

"It's not real, just something you created." She scoffed. "Why would you show me this anyway?"

"Considering that you claim to want this to happen, you don't seem particularly upset at the idea that it's not real."

"Don't play games with me!" She snarled and launched herself at him, sending them both flying to another rooftop.

For a few minutes they fought, bringing some of the remaining skyscrapers crashing down before Naruto forced a bladelock to keep her still.

"How old are you Little Crow?"

Karasuba froze in surprise at the unexpected question but regained her senses shortly and jumped away.

"You said that you have all of Minaka's memories...that must mean that you know already." She responded warily.

"I do, but humor me please, lets pretend that I don't. There are certain things that Minaka didn't know and relying on someone else's knowledge is stupid in any case."

Karasuba remained silent, instead staring at him and keeping a tight grip on her sword.

Seeing that she had no intention of answering, Naruto spoke as if just thinking out loud. "Twenty years ago, Minaka and Takami found the space ship that you Sekirei used to arrive on this planet. Inside was one adult, eight embryos and ninety nine fetilized eggs. A couple of years later, Kamikura island was invaded by various foreign powers in an attempt to seize the ship and the embryos for themselves. The invasion was repelled by the first generation Discplinary Squad, consisting of the first four Sekirei and led by Miya."

Karasuba's jaw was clenched tightly as she spoke, knowing exactly what he was getting at. "What are you on about? Miya is a Sekirei too, Sekirei #01. You _know_ that."

"I have some doubts about Miya being a Sekirei. Even if she is called #01, she's different than the rest of you in some way."

Karasuba couldn't deny that, Miya had always been different.

"But to get back to my point...how exactly could the first generation Disciplinary Squad defend the island if four of you were still nothing but embryos two years previously? You look to be in your late twenties, but that can't possibly be right all things considered and I already know that Sekirei age at the same speed as humans."

"Eighteen, I'm eighteen." Karasuba growled with a glare, wanting him to get to the point already.

Naruto nodded at her and continued talking. "Minaka, being the stereotypical scientist, naturally didn't want to bring Miya out of stasis before he'd learned as much as possible about you and the ship while he had the chance. He had already established MBI with the technology he'd recovered there when spies got the truth of his success back to their respective governments. At the time he didn't have the same private army that he has now and so he was left with little choice but to bring Miya out of stasis when news reached him of an invasion. His rudimentary understanding of the Jinki led him to attempting the creation of a control method on her, which failed but resulted in every other Sekirei ending up as they were now."

Karasuba was listening intently by now, as this was information that she hadn't heard of before.

"Miya was in a precarious situation at that point, as she had no idea what kind of enemies she was up against and needed information. Considering that her ship had crashed a thousand years ago, the tech level of the natives was a good deal higher than expected. Learning that the other seven ships had long ago been destroyed with a bare handful of survivors, all of which were naturally dead by then, forced her into a partnership with Minaka. After reviewing what kind of opposition she was up against, she agreed to bringing four Sekirei out of stasis and accelerating their growth so that they'd be able to help fend off the attack. The fact that the first four of you had the most convenient powers for that purpose was just a coincidence."

"What's your point?"

"My point is that you were two months old when they put a sword in your hand and told you to kill. Sure, they might have done their best to shove as much information into you as possible, but you were still far too young for it and it's left you with serious issues."

"So, what? Are you going to 'fix' me?" She asked sarcastically.

"Nope, it's far too late for that and it might not have been possible to begin with." He responded bluntly.

Despite herself, Karasuba's heart stung at the callous answer.

"But you've done surprisingly well on your own. You might have a bit of a bloodthisty bent, but you're much saner than many of your fellow Sekirei that would kill a man just to watch him die and they don't have the same excuse as you."

While Karasuba was busy ignoring the tiny flicker of happiness at the words, Naruto had just one more thing to sasy. "What you really need is a friend."

"What the hell would you know about what I need you bastard?!" She hissed furiously and attacked again.

"Clearly playing the lone wolf hasn't been working for you if you want to see the world burn." Naruto riposted dryly, showing no strain as he fended off her furious attack.

They fighting went on for some time as Karasuba kept up her angry offensive. From building to building they fought until the city looked even more ruined than before.

Naruto wasn't surprised by her anger, he'd expected it even. For a woman that prided herself on her strength and was used to dealing with everything alone, it must be maddening to have someone telling you that they needed someone. But Karasuba really did need someone, no matter what she told herself.

She had tried, in her own way, to reach out to Yume, but the other Sekirei hadn't understood. Her growth had been accelerated too, but that had been after Miya had left and Yume hadn't ever killed anyone as far as he knew. The Sekirei of Fate had tried to convince Karasuba to give up her hate and find love, but failed to take into account how different the Black Sekirei was.

Karasuba had buried the trauma of causing that much death at the very start of her life under a mountain of bones and superiority, she had coped by hating humans and convincing herself that they were so weak that they didn't matter. The same way that humans thought nothing of squashing a bug. She wouldn't have known how to live without that hate and disdain. If she hadn't been a Sekirei with a naturally violent predisposition, she'd have probably never been anything close to functional, much less as stable as she was now.

The others had dealth with the experience in their own ways.

Miya had been suspiciously unbothered by it

Kazehana had crawled into a bottle and never come out, something which had only worsened when Minaka had rejected her, though Naruto personally thought that the Wind Sekirei had dodged a bullet there.

Matsu had never even looked up from her laptop for the entire time of the fighting and had focused only on disabling the invader's electronics. She had come out of that with her hands unbloodied.

Mutsu had kept to himself and been rather depressive about it for years. His winging to Mikogami had been rather ironically good for him.

Those three had helped, but mainly in a defensive role. It had been Miya and Karasuba who had done the vast majority of the killing.

Yume had been the closest thing to a friend that Karasuba had ever had and her sacrifice hadn't done the silver haired woman any favors. She'd only consented to being winged by Natsuo because they both wanted to see the world destroyed.

Though Naruto was of the opinion that Natsuo was a moron. Wanting the world destroyed because your lover died was Uchiha logic, and Uchiha logic was not very logical. It wasn't like the entire world had conspired to kill him or something.

Naruto stopped waffling in his own thoughts and decided to tease the silver haired woman a bit.

"Too slow." He said and dodged out of the way of another of her infuriated attacks.

Karasuba growled and swung at him again, only for Naruto to dodge again, this time propelling himself into the wreck of what used to be an office building. Naturally she pursued, slashing the walls to ribbons as she went.

When she went for another diagonal slash, he swung his own sword from below and impaled hers into the ceiling. In the split second that it took her to generate enough force to rip her blade free, he'd already jumped out of the shattered window and onto another building, this time one that had never finished construction.

As further incentive, he made a beckoning gesture that served to make her even more angry.

With an angry shout, she jumped after him, fully intent on leveling what was left of the fake city if it would stop him from jumping from one building to the next. Much to her displeasure, her sword only clanged against the exposed steel girders, revealing that he was making them indestructable.

Forced to avoid smacking her sword into the many obstructions around them, she nonetheless continued her pursuit. But she was tired already, having fought like a berserker due to her anger instead of pacing herself, and was thus prone to mistakes.

Panting harshly and glaring through a curtain of rain-soaked hair, she slammed her sword against his without any finesse or consideration for his superior strength, wanting nothing more than to make him bleed.

Naruto blocked it easily and pushed her back.

Karasuba made a misstep on the narrow length of steel they were fighting on and slipped because of the rain. Unable to catch on to something in time, her free hand flailed for something, anything, to grab on to. Unexpectedly, it was seized by another hand and then she found herself sitting down with Naruto keeping an arm around her. Judging by the fact that there was more room, he'd also transported them to a more open setting in the same motion.

"How could you say that we aren't friends when we have such good times together?" Naruto asked brightly, making sure to radiate enough heat to keep her warm.

"Screw you Uzumaki." Karasuba spat out angrily. She was pissed the fuck off. At him for prying at the past instead of keeping things nice and simple, but mostly at herself. She'd fought like an idiot and exhausted herself for no good reason, she'd stumbled like an amateur and lost her balance and most of all, she was angry because her sword was in easy reach but she didn't feel like getting up. The rain and wind had been freezing cold and he was so warm, not to mention that the rain wasn't falling here and it was comfortable.

Several minutes passed in silence with nothing happening except for the two of them watching the torrential downpour before Karasuba spoke up.

"Well, get on with it then." She just sounded tired now instead of angry. She hadn't even enjoyed the fight this time.

"Get on with what?" Naruto asked curiously.

Rolling her eyes, the silver haired Sekirei snapped at him. "Whatever stupid lecture you have planned about how I should let go of my hate. That _is_ why you arranged all this isn't it?"

Naruto noted the bitterness in her voice but made no mention of it. Instead he answered with his usual flippancy. "You can go ahead and keep hating if you want, I was just saying that it has to be pretty tiring. It was tiring for me when I hated someone with that kind of intensity."

Karasuba looked at him in disbelief. After all that, he was just blowing it all off?! "Then what was all this about?"

"It was about making you feel better." He grinned. "You do feel better don't you?"

No doubt she had spent the whole time since she'd fled the hotel in the middle of the night trying to figure out why she had felt so remarkably well rested and mellow after their fights. Equally without doubt was the fact that her inability to find an answer that she was comfortable with had been driving her crazy. Silly girl and her refusal to admit that it was nice to have a friend that didn't judge you.

She exhaled harshly and looked away without answering. She _did_ feel better, it had felt good to rage at someone like that and he'd known it would. He'd specifically provoked her with things she didn't want to think of and didn't want to remember and made her vent against him. The bastard.

"When did you become a psychologist?" She asked sarcastically instead of showing anything even resembling gratitude.

Naruto kept grinning. "I'm not, but I've been using fighting as therapy for a long time. I always hated it when someone tried to talk me through my issues."

Such as the surprisingly unbiased academy therapist back in Konoha. Naruto strongly suspected that he'd only passed that little 'mental suitability for duty as a Shinobi' examination on a technicality now that he looked back on it, despite his best attempts to bullshit his way through it. That technicality being his status as a Jinchuuriki and therefore inherently mentally unstable according to 'experts'.

Not that he _had_ been a Jinchuuriki anymore at that time, but they hadn't known that.

Either way, he'd known that Karasuba was the same as him in that regard. She was a warrior born and the only resolution to anything for her would come at the end of a blade.

The woman in question snorted at his words, definitely agreeing that Naruto had issues. She also agreed that fighting was better therapy than trying to endlessly talk about it.

"Soooo..."She drawled out, feeling more mellow by the minute because of the heat he was radiating and the strangely comfortable surface. Naruto must have been doing another of his weird things to make the hard ground so oddly soft. "What part of that didn't Minaka know? You were doing all the talking."

"Oh, he knows all of that to be sure. What he doesn't know, but I am really curious about, is why Miya hates you so much."

"Oh that, I tried to rape Takehito once." Karasuba said dismissively, not even caring anymore how he would take it.

She hadn't really expected him to burst out laughing though.

Naruto continued chortling for a good several minutes at the mental image that invoked, all the while wondering if it made him a hypocrite that the idea of a man raping a woman pissed him off, but the other way around made him laugh.

Very quickly he concluded that yes, it did. It made him a huge fucking hypocrite.

"It's not that funny." Karasuba huffed, feeling the alien emotion of embarrassment at his mirth. "He was pretty much the only person that was nice to me without being afraid and I saw him and Miya going at it once. I was four years old and I thought it was a way to show him that I liked him. Miya walked in on us and nearly killed me for it."

Naruto finally calmed down and decided to ask another question instead of making any cracks about the youngest rapist ever. "Minaka had him killed soon after that didn't he?"

"Yeah, a few months later." She confirmed. "He was doing some kind of research that Minaka didn't agree with, I even helped a few times, though Takehito never did get around to telling me why he was examining me. Miya probably blames me for that too."

Naruto had some ideas about what that reseacrch had been about. Seo Kaoru was most definitely not in the human norm, but there wouldn't be any point in going on about that now.

He didn't ask why she'd stayed on with MBI after that, knowing that it was no doubt because she'd figured that that's where she'd get the most fights. Or maybe she just had nowhere else to go.

They lapsed into silence again and Naruto got a bit bored, so he decided to be symbolic.

The rain stopped and the clouds dispersed, showing a beautiful sight of sunlight streaming through the skies and across the ruined cityscape.

"Are you trying to be symbolic here?" Karasuba asked pointedly.

"What the hell do you take me for?" Naruto asked rhetorically, incidentally not answering the question.

Karasuba snorted derisively, clearly showing what she thought of his attempts to give a non-answer.

Then she growled when the remaining clouds rearranged themselves to spell out 'Best Friends Forever!' in gigantic script.

"Fuck you Uzumaki."

The script rearranged itself again, this time adding 'With Benefits' at the end.

Karasuba growled again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The penthouse was host to a scene that was domestic in a somewhat strange manner.

Naruto, Akitsu, Yashima, Kusano, Haihane, Shiina and Yukari were taking up the couch, watching some silly comedy anime that Haihane had suggested as being both funny and age appropriate for Kusano.

Karasuba was sleeping already after Naruto had brought her back from their fight and Xanna had lost interest a few minutes ago and decided to take a bath instead.

Ever since then, Akitsu had been glancing between the door that led to the master bathroom and the TV uncertainly. She was enjoying the anime, but that was mostly because Naruto was sitting next to her rather than any real interest. A bath sounded much nicer if she was honest with herself but she didn't want to impose.

"Go ahead, I'm sure she won't mind if you join her." Naruto whispered to her quietly, having noted the Ice Sekire's indecision.

A hint of uncertainty was in Akitsu's voice when she responded. "...will you mind?"

Naruto's body shook in a silent chuckle at he hesitancy. "Of course not sweetie."

Akitsu gave him a happy little smile, both at the reassurance and at being called sweetie again and then moved towards the bathroom.

Kusano instantly pounced on the opportunity and switched so that she was sitting closer to her bigger onii-chan. Normally not a problem, except for the fact that she dragged Shiina along and stuck her tongue out at Yukari as she did so.

Offended, Yukari's cheeks puffed out and she moved to reposition herself back at Shiina's side.

This triggered a whole lot of shifting as pretty much everyone had to reposition themselves in a way that nobody was left pouting at the end because they weren't sitting next to whoever they wanted to sit next to.

Naruto and Haihane shared an eyeroll, being the only ones who thought that the whole thing was rather silly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Xanna hummed slightly in enjoyment as Akitsu brushed her hair with a brush that was designed both as an actual brush and a scalp massager. It felt nice enough that she had even receded her horns for the time being, despite feeling more comfortable with them.

Originally she had been intending to read a book while taking a soak in the scented bubble bath, but Akitsu's presence made her change her mind.

Xanna liked Akitsu. The shy and generally inexpressive Ice Sekirei was very eager to please and took every opportunity to do so. Added to that, she almost never asked for anything and even when she did it was only minor things that could barely be called requests. She was also very quiet and didn't chatter endlessly the way that most mortals couldn't seem to help themselves from doing. It also helped that she made for good eye candy and not just for Naruto. Xanna herself found the female form more attractive in most cases, which had been the primary reason that she had chosen it for herself in the first place.

Akitsu was also extraordinarily easy to please, to the point that it was rather strange actually, but that was easy enough to explain. The long years of being nothing but a laboratory experiment for MBI had left her with a nearly completely destroyed sense of self worth and only the most basic of desires. The simple act of being allowed to join her in the bath and brush her hair made her happier than most people would be with something far greater.

She knew that Naruto had already made note of all those who had reduced the girl to this state and all of them bar Minaka were slated to be tossed into one of those amusing dungeon scenarios that he had thought up.

All of it may have happened before he had picked the Ice Sekirei up from that bench in the park, but Naruto didn't really care about that.

Xanna approved. Vengeance for wrongs committed need not be restricted to things you were there for.

A few minutes of brushing later, Xanna had developed a craving for one of the things that she'd discovered in the previous dimension.

Summoning the conveniently placed phone to her hand, she dialed room service.

"_Room service, how may we help you?_"

"I want one extra large and one large banana and pineapple smoothie with added melted chocolate delivered to the penthouse."

That chocolate was actually payed for in advance and held in reserve exclusively for her. It was extremely high quality stuff, imported from somewhere in Europe at great cost and she had more or less demanded that it only be used for her own needs. Though in this particular case she was intending to share it with Akitsu.

She'd have shared it with Naruto too, but her husband had no sweet tooth to speak of unless it was somehow used during sex. Whenever he had a smoothie it was without the chocolate, though she assumed that he would like it if he tried, but he tended to avoid sweets rather stubbornly. Many years of maintaining a healthy diet had left him with no real desire for them and the only unhealthy food he had ever permitted himself was a weekly bowl of ramen made by Ayame and even that had stopped with her death.

He didn't need to bother with watching what he ate anymore, but he much preferred salty foods over sweet ones.

"_Right away ma'am, we'll have them delivered in a few minutes._"

Xanna hung up at that point without even contemplating a thank you for their service. It was their job after all, why should she thank them for doing what they were payed to do? She never did understand that line of logic, which meant that it was just another stupid thing that humans had made up.

She also rolled her eyes in irritation at being referred to as 'ma'am' again. She was looking forward to the time when people would be calling her something more appropriate, such as 'your majesty'.

Having had enough of the hair brushing at this point, Xanna moved Akitsu to her front and regrew the horns on her head.

"Mistress?" Akitsu asked in slight confusion at being moved. She had seemed to be enjoying herself and Akitsu herself had enjoyed brushing the pure white hair.

"You've been a good girl Akitsu, so just relax now." Xanna said lightly to the Ice Sekirei and ran her claws very lightly over her back.

Akitsu flushed at the compliment and then shuddered as the nerves on her back sent sensations of tingling pleasure shooting up her spine. The following shoulder and neck rub left her feeling equal parts very good and very uncomfortable. Very good because it was a really great massage and uncomfortable because it just didn't seem right to be on the receiving end without doing anything in return. But she had been told to relax and did her best to comply.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I think we might have jumped the gun a bit when we thought that Naruto and his wife were running a sex slave operation up here." Shou said pensively as they made their way to the elevator.

"How do you figure that?" Naoki asked.

"It just doesn't make sense for them to be paying for all those expensive rooms if he's looking to make money from selling those girls." Shou replied.

"I've been wondering about that too." Yuno added.

Technically, it didn't require all three of them to bring up the two smoothies, but since it was pretty late and there wasn't much work they figured that they might as well. It was almost time for the night shift of hotel staff to take over anyway.

"But it does make sense if they're not doing it for the money." Naoki countered, playing devil's advocate.

"And what else could they be doing it for genius?" Shou asked sarcastically.

"I don't know, the souls of the innocent?" Naoki hazarded.

"You've been talking to Kenta too much." Yuno derided.

"Maybe they're turning them into Succubi." Naoki guessed with a leer, clearly joking this time.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Shou mocked.

"Probably the only way he could get a woman." Yuno joined in.

"C'mon guys, now you're just being mean." Naoki sulked.

They reached the elevator at that point and were surprised to find themselves sharing it with another person.

It was a beautiful woman with short-ish silver hair, half moon glasses and wearing a frilly purple top that was very tight around her very large breasts.

The three bellhops gave each other knowing looks when they saw that she had the same distinctly odd silver hair that many of the women around Naruto had. She had also pressed the top floor button, which was being payed for by Naruto in its entirety.

The trip to the penthouse was made in silence from that point on, none of the three bellhops wanting to continue their conversation in front of the strange woman. It was all very uncomfortable because even when they reached the top floor, she was still around since she marched directly for the penthouse and knocked firmly on the door while they trailed behind her

Naruto opened the door after a few seconds and blinked in confusion at who was in front of the door.

"Kochō...and the cute delivery minions." He said slowly, as if trying to figure something out. "Has my wife been ordering smoothies at this hour again?"

"Uzumaki-sama, I must speak with you." The now named Kochō said without preamble.

"Yes, I suppose I did forget to collect you after that little debacle with Kakizaki." Naruto said agreeably. "But first, let me just take these smoothies to Xanna and Akitsu."

Moments later, the door closed and the three bellhops were left standing in the hallways, bearing confused expressions.

"So..." Yuno stared.

"Naruto forgot to 'collect' this Kochō woman..." Shou continued.

"...after an altercation of some sort with some guy named Kakizaki," Naoki picked up.

"and she's already calling him Uzumaki-sama." Yuno finished.

"Well that doesn't mean anything, technically we should be calling him that too." Naoki pointed out.

"Yeah, but Naruto seemed to know her and he tells everyone not to be so formal." Yuno countered.

"That's true." Naoki mused.

"I'm more interested in the part where he was supposed to collect her." Shou interjected.

"It could just be a figure of speech." Yuno suggested weakly, knowing how thin that argument sounded.

"If he's trying to keep all of these women in one place then it could definitely be called 'collecting'." Naoki said thoughtfully. "Maybe he's gathering a harem of exotic women for some super rich guy and everything is being payed for by someone else."

"Now _you're_ starting with the harems too? Has Shou gotten you hooked on his pervy anime?"

"Hey." Shou snapped in protest. "Those anime belong to my girlfriend and it's not about the ecchi, but about the struggle of finding true love in a school setting."

"Uh huh." Yuno said derisively, accompanied by an eyeroll. Clearly, she believed not a word of it.

"But seriously, just think about it." Naoki interrupted what might become a serious argument. "If some super rich Arab guy with a fetish for hot girls with weird hair colors was paying for all this, then it would sort of make sense. Those guys have like...infinite money don't they? They wouldn't care how expensive something was."

"Do Naruto and his wife _really_ look like the type that you can just hire to do things for you?" Yuno asked pointedly.

They all stayed silent for a while as they considered that question.

Naruto, who constantly gave off the impression that he would do pretty much anything just for laughs. Then there was his wife - whose name they figured to be Xanna based on contextual conjecture-, who gave everyone the feeling that just about everything was beneath her.

"I guess not." Naoki admitted. "But I'm all out of ideas for what they could be doing with all of these women then."

"Maybe Yuno could infiltrate their ranks." Shou suggested with a leer.

The woman in question gave him a flat stare at the obviously lewd suggestion.

Shou gave a nervous laugh at the silent, flat stare he was receiving. "Ahaha, sorry Yuno. It was just a joke?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kochō was a very smart Sekirei and very good with information as befit her status as a Brain Type. Kakizaki, and through him Higa, had made extensive use of her ability to gather information in order to advance their agenda. Names and locations of Ashikabi, abilities and personalities of Sekirei, all of this and more she had provided to Higa at the behest of her Ashikabi. Much of Higa's power as the 'Ashikabi of the East' had been gained thanks to her information gathering.

Kochō knew that it was all useless now. She had studied the anomalous new arrivals and concluded that their power eclipsed anything available to the Sekirei. What little she had been able to discover of their goals based on known actions predicted a high chance of them coming into conflict with Higa eventually, at which point she was likely to suffer death or deactivation.

Casual baiting of MBI, brutal murder in broad daylight, flaunting power for the sake of amusement, battles with the Black Sekirei for fun, the easy deconstruction of the Disciplinary Squad, unwinging Sekirei, the abduction and healing of Chiho, followed by the defection of Uzume, the overnight obliteration of Mikogami Hayato's power base. All of these were the actions of someone who had no concern for the consequences or of being challenged. Whatever and whoever these horned newcomers were, they believed with absolute certainty that they were unstoppable and so far they had been right.

Kochō estimated a 86% probability that Higa and Kakizaki had been marked as targets before any of those things had occurred and that their turn was coming up very shortly. Chances of their survival were estimated to be just under 7%, chances for the survival of their Sekirei hovered between 46 and 95% due to inconclusive information.

With this in mind she had prepared certain contingencies an enacted them as soon as she was able. That time came when her Ashikabi had been lured into a trap by Uzumaki Naruto and vanished off the face of the Earth. While Higa had raged at the loss, she had waited for the optimal time to flee so that she would not be noticed by Higa's Sekirei for as long as possible, most notably Toyotama or Ichiya.

Being of a highly analytical nature, she was able to understand that no real relationship could ever exist between her and Kakizaki despite the insistent feeling of 'love' for him. Cold reason asserted that the emotion was false, but she could not stop from feeling it, nor could she disobey. But acting on her own after his capture was not disobedience.

She knew of the old adage that no plan survives contact with the enemy, but this was certainly not how she had expected things to deviate.

She needed to speak to the horned man who had abducted her Ashikabi through unknown means and she was being allowed the opportunity, but the setting was quite unorthodox. Sitting naked in a bath with three other people that you just met was hardly an ideal place for a serious conversation.

Uzumaki had invited her to join the bath after entering it himself and she hadn't been sure if refusal would mean that she would be denied an audience, so she had accepted. It was still very strange though, especially since the current conversation most definitely didn't involve anything that she had come here to speak of.

"Aw, come on Akitsu, won't you let me have a taste of your smoothie?" Naruto wheedled.

Xanna was amused that he hadn't noticed that it had chocolate in it.

The Ice Sekirei gave him a Puppy Dog Eye Look - Sleepy Version, and looked highly reluctant. She had her lips clamped over a straw while holding the large glass with both hands and was slowly sucking up the delicious concotion of fruit and chocolate through it.

Still, she couldn't bring herself to refuse and was just about ready to hand it over when Xanna spoke up. "Do not give it to him Akitsu. For one thing, he could always just order one himself and for another, barging in on our bath like this and just inviting another woman into it was quite rude."

Akitsu happily held the glass closer to her chest and continued to slowly slurp up the treat, dilemma resolved now that Xanna had commanded that she keep it to herself.

"So mean." Naruto said sulkily, though a grin was trying to force it's way through. "I'm going to throw you both into a tub filled with smoothies and lick it off you."

Xanna looked intrigued by the idea and Akitsu's face developed a blush even though her expression remained unchanged and she continued her slow enjoyment of the smoothie.

"Well, that's for later, for now lets allow Kochō here to say what she wanted to say."

Kochō adjusted her glasses and spoke. "Thank you Uzumaki-sama. As I have said, I need to speak to you now that you are holding my Ashikabi captive."

"I'm not going to let him go if that's what you're here for, but I have to give you points for having the guts to come here alone." Naruto interjected.

"That is not what I am here for, I have estimated that the chances of you releasing him are less than 3% based on your actions so far." Kochō stated analytically.

"Why are you here then?" He asked curiously. "I admit that I was going to pick you up after taking him prisoner, but Karasuba distracted me and I forgot. Sorry about that."

"There is no need for apologies, this makes things easier for me." The Brain type Sekirei said with a nod. "I wish to ask for your protection."

"Oh?" Naruto raised an eyebrow in interest. "Is there something that you need to be protected from?"

"Higa-sama and Kakizaki-sama both see Sekirei as expendable tools to be used, an outlook you do not seem to share and I estimate a 98% probability that your power exceeds theirs and that of MBI by many orders of magnitude. With Kakizaki-sama indisposed, he could not order me to stay and I was able to slip away from Higa-sama in order to ask for your protection."

"Clever girl." Xanna murmured in approval.

"So you would like me to unwing you?" Naruto asked curiously.

"Yes." Kochō confirmed with no hesitation. "I have observed your behavior and estimate a 93% probability that you do not believe in taking prisoners. I have no wish to be deactivated upon Kakizaki-sama's death."

"You'd be right about me not believing in the taking of prisoners." Naruto grinned.

"Noted." Kochō stated, giving everyone the distinct feeling that she had just updated that percentage from 93 to 100 inside her mind.

Moments later, she was unwinged and was looking down on herself with a thoughtful frown. "Curious, I had expected that I would feel different, but I do not."

"If Kakizaki thought of you as a tool to be used, then the bond was probably very weak and it isn't surprising that you aren't feeling any different." Naruto explained.

"I see, perhaps if I saw him in person again I would be able to notice my lack of feeling towards him." She said mostly to herself. "Thank you Uzumaki-sama."

"You don't have to call me Uzumaki-sama you know." He said pointedly.

"As you wish Naruto-sama."

The man in question rolled his eyes at the strange quirks that this Sekirei seemed to have, a propensity for percentages and formality.

"May I ask what you are? I have been unable to collect any information on your species or origins." Kochō asked after a momentary silence.

"We are gods." Xanna stated with an arrogant smirk.

Kochō paused in surprise for a few seconds and then adjusted her glasses again. "There is no evidence supporting the existence of divine beings. The likelihood of their existence is extremely low."

"There's no evidence against their existence either." Naruto countered with a grin.

"It is impossible to prove a negative Naruto-sama. At best one can prove point B which disproves point A, but one cannot disprove point A in and of itself." Kochō argued back.

Xanna snorted in amusement, which drew and affronted look from her husband. Both of them could clearly hear the 'idiot' at the end of that sentence, even though they were sure that Kochō would never say it.

"Anyway, you have to watch out for those low probability eventualities, they tend to have a huge impact when they do happen." Naruto said in a clear attempt to divert attention from the recent burn that had just been inflicted on him.

Kochō gave it a moment of consideration before nodding. "You are correct and you have done many things thought to be impossible, I will suspend my disbelief and accept that you are gods unless proof is given that would indicate otherwise."

The flow of conversation was broken by a loud slurping noise as Akitsu's smoothie finally reached critical levels of depletion. The Ice Sekirei ducked her head in embarrassment as everyone looked at her and she finished off the dregs of her treat.

Then she moved her glass around and gave it a sad look. "...all gone."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Benitsubasa sat on the ground with her knees tucked under her chin as she stared at the TV. It was playing one of Haihane's anime that she had left behind when she'd gone to move in with Uzumaki.

She wasn't really interested in the anime and was mostly just letting it play for the sake of nostalgia. After the humiliating incident with the strapon the previous day, she didn't really feel like leaving her room. Natsuo's rejection even though she had swallowed her pride and tried to pretend being a man for him had hurt more than usual and there had been no Haihane to rile her up and make her feel better.

Her head tilted up curiously when she detected a slight movement in the corner of her vision.

She blinked in confusion when she saw a pair of very nice fighting gloves being dangled from the ceiling by a fishing line. How the hell did that get there?

She stood up and reached for them, only to feel a hand on her back.

Spinning around, she let loose with a punch only to have it caught as if the strength she put behind it meant nothing.

"What's up Beni?" The intruder greeted.

"Uzumaki." She growled back. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was just going to drop off those gloves as a present for you, but when I saw you looking so sad I knew that I had to do something. I've always had a problem with leaving cute girls to mope."

Benitsubasa ignored the slight happiness at being called cute, as well as at the fact that he'd thought to give her a gift. Natsuo-sama had never done that.

She frowned.

Natsuo-sama...who she suddenly felt nothing for.

"What did you do?" She asked warningly.

"I unwinged you, it really wasn't right for you to be winged to that guy."

"What gives you the right to just unwing me without my permission?" She snapped back, angry that he'd just decided that all by himself.

Naruto gave her a sardonic grin decided to prove a point. "Natsuo is a fruity llittle bitch that wouldn't care if you died in a fire and he should do everyone a favor by throwing himself off a building instead of moping about his dead boy toy."

He would have felt more sorry for Natsuo if the guy wasn't such a douche.

Benitsubasa opened her mouth to shout at him reflexively, only to find out that not a trace of her usual anger was to be found at the train of insults. None of what he'd just said evoked any real emotion in her, despite the fact that it would have made her fly into a rage not five minutes ago.

"See, isn't that better? No need to get upset anymore because he doesn't want you."

"Alright fine, so it is better." Benitsubasa conceded. "Is that the only reason you're here for?"

"Pretty much." Naruto shrugged. "I used to have a cute little sister that was a lot like you and she was also in love with a self absorbed jackass for a while. She became a much better person when she stopped trying to chase after him. I got tired of seeing you get hurt all the time just because you didn't have the option of choosing to stop wetting your panties at the thought of a man that doesn't want you."

Benitsubasa swung at him again for the crude ending of that explanation and then kept swinging when he continued to block. It made her angry for a little while before she started enjoying the impromptu spar, even if neither of them could move because of all the furniture in the room.

"Spread your feet a bit wider."

"Swing your hips more when you punch."

"Don't forget your feet, throw a kick once in a while."

The chunks of advice on technique kept coming one after the other and Benitsubasa had to grudgingly admit that the horned blond really knew his stuff.

"Where did you learn all this." She asked between punches.

"Well, my technique used to suck, I was all about brute force and overwhelming power. Then I stole a dead man's memories and a lot of hand to hand combat knowledge came along with it." Naruto explained.

"Bullshit." Benitsubasa scoffed. "How the hell could you steal the memories of a dead man?"

If he'd said that he'd stolen it from the memories of a living man she _might _have been willing to believe him.

"Well, first I brought him back as a zombie and _then_ I stole his memories."

"You can make zombies?" She squawked in shock, badly blundering a punch because of her surprise and getting and admonishing poke in the side because her guard was wide open. "How the hell does that work?"

"It's not that hard, you just need a live human sacrifice to call the soul of the dead back and the knowledge of how to do it." Naruto explained airily, as if it was no big deal.

They continued their mock spar for a while longer before Benitsubasa's curiousity got the better of her again.

"You said you had a little sister that was a lot like me?"

"Yep, Sakura was her name. Used to be a massively annoying harpy fangirl but she really turned herself around later and became one of the best medics and hand to hand combatants we had." Naruto elaborated, deliberately not mentioning anything to do about ninjas. He just didn't have the patience to get into all of that right now.

Benitsubasa noted the use of the past tense and decided not to pry any further into the subject of the obviously dead girl. Strangely enough she was having fun despite how easily irritated she usually got by this man. Then again, nobody aside from Haihane had ever gotten her presents or tried to cheer her up when she was upset so it was harder than usual to get mad at him.

"Want to move in with us? Haihane said she missed teasing you about your flat chest." Naruto suddenly said.

Benitsubasa snarled ferociously and attacked with even more force, but accomplished nothing save for tiring herself out. "Screw you Uzumaki."

"This really bothers you huh?" Naruto asked. "It's not just because you thought that a bigger pair of boobs would attract Natsuo."

"Of course it bothers me!" She snapped. "Almost every other Sekirei out there has a giant pair of monster tits while I...I...have a body like a boy!"

Naruto didn't comment on the slight hitch in her voice at the end there, even though he thought that the whole thing was ridiculous. Worrying about how your body looked like was way too reminiscent of some civilian teenaged girl issue to him. Though he supposed that he didn't really have any room to talk since Xanna had meddled slightly with his body to make him bigger than he would be otherwise. As for Xanna herself...well he wouldn't be surprised if she decided to take a teenaged form one day and deliberately, systematically destroy the self esteem of every female around her just for giggles. She probably _had_ done that sometime in the past already in fact.

Finally, Naruto sighed, spun her around and placed a hand on her back. "Say when."

"Wait, what?"

Benitsubasa gaped as her breasts started growing rapidly. She was in fact so busy staring in shock that she didn't say 'when' and suddenly found her new chest exploding out of her combat kimono and causing her to overbalance as the now massively oversized rolls of fat pitched her forward.

"Ow." She whimpered, the new additions aching horribly under their own weight. She gasped in relief when they receded again.

"You didn't say when." Naruto teased as he reduced their size to something more manageable.

Benitsubasa grumbled something uncomplimentary, both of them knowing perfectly well that she'd been too stunned to do so.

When she told him to stop, she found herself the proud owner of a pair of respectably sized B cup breasts that were maybe, possibly, purely by chance a shade bigger than Haihane's.

Benitsubasa gave a very girlish giggle as she jumped to make them bounce a bit. "How did you do this?"

"I'm a god." Was the dry response from Naruto, who was taking the opportunity to ogle since she hadn't covered herself up.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" She blubbered and gave him a hug before speeding off into another room.

"Bras, I need new bras. I _need_ bras." Naruto heard her saying to herself, obviously relishing the words.

A minute later, the pink haired one had sped off towards the nearest lingerie shop, completely forgetting that Naruto was still in her apartment in her glee at having boobs.

"I hope she doesn't tell anyone that I grew her boobs." He muttered to himself and left.

That had more potential to cause trouble than if someone had reported him for serial killing. People generally wouldn't give a damn that some dude with horns had killed a bunch of people, But tell them that a dude with horns could grow you bigger natural boobs?

He could already see the headlines in the papers. '_Satan sighted in Japan, increasing women's breast sizes. Catholic church declares large breasted women heretics._'

He'd probably have massive chunks of the world converted to Satanism within a month, with millions of women daily coming to beg for a Boob Boost, and he very much doubted that anyone would listen if he told them that he wasn't Satan.

It would be funny as fuck for about two days, but then it would start getting very, _very_ irritating, especially if they started sacrificing goats.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Alright, there went number eight.**

**Now review, or else the enemy will hide in METAL BAWKSES! SINDRIIII!**

**...I may have blundered into a strange part of youtube while searching for a Warhammer 40k music video.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A few have asked whether the thing with Karasuba in the previous chapter was canon or not. To the best of my knowledge it isn't, as the Sekirei canon plot gets around temporal inconsistencies like that by being very, VERY vague on the timeline. I just inserted my own explanation instead of doing the same.**

**You may have noted that it has taken me longer than usual to update. There is a reason for this and that reason is that the author has gotten himself addicted to playing Dark Souls and couldn't stop until about three days ago.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Takami sighed in relief when she made it home and put her things down. Within ten minutes she was sprawled on the couch in her most comfortable clothes with a glass of wine.

She felt terribly tempted to just fall asleep right there, but she quite honestly wanted to just relax for a couple of hours instead of sleeping away the first bit of free time she'd managed to get in what felt like weeks. Normally she was something of a workaholic and wouldn't have been bothered by lots of work, but things had gone way too far lately.

The reason for this sudden lack of any kind of time off were not the Sekirei, as all of the still active ones were now loose in the city instead of confined the labs, nor was it any kind of new research. No, that would have been familiar and not particularly bothersome.

The reason for her exhaustion of late stemmed directly from one Uzumaki Naruto, the annoying bastard. Pretty much of all her time lately had been spent on doing damage control because of his antics. The rest of the world had long since gotten a whiff of said antics and had been demanding explanations for them, along with his appearance. Telling them that it was all part of the whole Sekirei thing had not really helped and they had fairly quickly deduced that Sekirei didn't have horns in any case.

It wasn't a fact that the general public was really aware of, but MBI had its fingers so deep in the Japanese government that they might as well _be_ the government. How else would they have been able to buy the entire freaking capital and then rename it? Minaka had really gone all out on his idiotic Sekirei Plan and wouldn't be stopped no matter how much she tried to talk some reason into him.

At least the lunatic hadn't been getting in her way anymore, instead spending all of his time locked in a lab and attempting to recreate 'Amaterasu-chan'. For once, his insanity was good for something. Though she couldn't say that she enjoyed the fact that she was now the CEO of MBI in everything but name, no wonder Minaka had lost his marbles if the job was this stressful and frustrating all the time.

Once, a long time ago, Hiroto Minaka had been a much different man. He'd always been an oddball, geniuses often were, but he hadn't been this unhinged. He'd been a brilliant man, driven and ambitious, he'd managed to work out the mysteries of the Sekirei's advanced technology and use it to start up MBI from practically nothing. She had felt so smug and victorious when he'd rejected Kazehana and chosen to stay with her, but now she had to wonder if the Wind Sekirei wasn't the one who should be feeling smug, though she knew that Kazehana wouldn't be able to see Minaka's many flaws thanks to her reaction.

When they'd first found the ship, she had been just as worried as him about the danger that the powerful Sekirei posed to Earth and had agreed with the need for a control method on them if they were ever to be brought out of stasis. That stance had only been reinforced when she'd seen the kind of devastation they were capable of, entire armies wiped out by five of them, four of which should have been making baby noises and drinking milk instead of killing. She still felt apalled every time she thought of the fact that they had sent what were basically infants as far as emotional maturity went to kill, but it had been an unfortunate necessity. Miya, for all her power and speed, had still needed the backup to be capable of fighting off so many men and their advanced weaponry. Sure, they _looked_ like adults and _spoke_ like adults for the most part and all that combat had made their mods rather somber, but it didn't change the fact that they _shouldn't_ have been adults yet.

Getting to know the Sekirei later, once they weren't under threat, had been what had brought her around. Many of them were just so eager and innocent that you couldn't help but like them. There were bad eggs in there to be sure, such as Yomi, but she'd come to believe that those that weren't psychos should be helped instead of indoctrinated to believe that they should be fighting a pointless tournament against their fellow Sekirei.

She very much suspected that Takehito had come to that conclusion a good deal quicker than her and had been up to something with Miya aside from his relationship with her, though she'd never figured out what that something was. The young scientist had been brillliant in ways that even Minaka would be hard pressed to match, which was why they'd hired him in the first place, but he'd had a penchant for being mysterious and working his own agenda, or maybe Miya's. Even Minaka had admitted to not knowing precisely what those two had been conspiring about and he hadn't dared dig too deep for fear of provoking Miya to break her neutral stance and decide that the potential loss of all the Sekirei would be worth skewering him.

Of course, that wasn't holding her back any longer since Naruto had ever so blithely removed the controls from the hands of MBI. The techs were still scratching their heads and wondering how he could have possibly done away with all the tracking devices on the Sekirei, even those he'd never approached before. Takami had kept his claims of divinity hushed up, but she was grasping at straws when she tried to rationalize his powers these days.

Not that it really mattered in the end whether she believed those claims or not, since MBI no longer had _any_ control as far as the Sekirei went. These days she was just trying to keep Japan clear of any foreign commando units that might be sent after a few Sekirei or even one of the horned duo. She knew that Russia had already sent a Spetsnaz team when they'd first smelled that MBI might be losing its grip on the situation.

That particular team had suddenly vanished before MBI's own forces could intercept it. They'd reappeared later, in the Kremlin, naked and taped to the cealing of the Russian president's office with industrial strength duct tape that had left them all with a very painful amateur waxing when it had been removed. Thanks to the advanced tech recovered from the Sekirei's ship, the technological security of the world was thoroughly compromised by MBI and Takami had seen it all.

What had her rubbing her forehead in exasperation was not the act itself(she was rather surprised that it hadn't been worse actually), but the manner of his delivery. The flaming portal framed by skeletal hands and leering skulls(both human and otherwise) that had preceded his entrance and exit was the cause of her annoyance. She'd heard reports that he could do his teleporting trick with nothing but a slight distortion of air, so he had definitely done that just for show.

Takami had to give him props for that move even though it annoyed her, strongly hinting that he was the biblical Devil like that, combined with his appearance, was bound to get a reaction and he never had to say a word or speak a lie(Takami was _almost_ certain that he wasn't actually Satan). Now the heads of the Russian government were suddenly convinced that they were in for some hellfire and damnation if they tried something like that again. Then Naruto had gone back and set fire(evil looking black fire at that) to the cross that the suddenly religious president had put in his office, which Takami suspected was just him being an ass.

Shaking her head to clear it of the crap that she'd been forced to deal with lately, the silver haired scientist turned on the news with the intent of confirming that the rest of the world wasn't as insane as Japan was these days. Even another report on one of the endless conflicts in the middle east would count as bizzarely comforting at this point, as least they killed each other with guns there instead of air blades generated by melee weapons and elemental attacks.

Much to her tired delight, she had turned it on just in time to catch the 'silly' part of the news, where they reported things that weren't of any real significance, but were odd and potentially amusing. She used to hate this part of the news, seeing it as a waste of time at best or a stupid ploy to attract viewers at worst, but right now she would gladly watch it just to relax.

"_Our next story comes from Switzerland, where a night shift worker at a small but prosperous chocolate factory suddenly heard female screaming and inhuman roaring echo through the building. Fearing to investigate himself, he called the police but reported that the unknown female appeared to be screaming in pleasure rather than pain or fear and even the roaring seemed to be as if it was in pleasure."_

"Heh, those Europeans." Takami said to herself with a smirk, because everyone knew that Europeans had a reputation for being kinky.

"_Police responded quickly, as public intercourse is illegal, especially so if they were trespassing while doing it. By the time they arrived however, the culprits were already gone, having left behind only a mess of chocolate, blood and semen._"

The perky female reporter proceeded to show some grainy black and white video footage of the event itself, causing Takami to nearly spit out her wine when she saw the distinct shape of horns and very long hair that was so bright it practically glowed when viewed in black and white on two of the figures. The third participant had no such distinctive features, but Takami could easily deduce the identity of Akitsu, even if she had her head buried between a pair of female legs.

"_The owner was extremely upset by this, as he had to throw out several tonnes of chocolate, even that which had not been directly used in the trio's activities, because he feared it had been befouled by the demons. Police attempted to assure the man that it was not the act of demons, but were unable to convince him. Police investigators have not released any information in regards to the DNA analysis._"

Takami once again found herself rubbing her temples to soothe the dull ache building there. It wasn't working too well.

"Damnit Uzumaki, are you _trying_ to draw attention to yourself?" She muttered to herself with a groan.

"Bitch please, I attract attention like a black hole." The unexpected and aggravatingly amused voice answered, causing Takami to jump in fright.

Turning her head, she saw that he was sitting right next to her, looking as if he'd been there for a while already.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed at him angrily.

"You spoke my name and I have appeared, is there something I can do for you?" Naruto replied, not at all bothered by her glaring.

Takami continued to glare silently for a full minute until he finally rolled his eyes and capitulated, wanting to get this conversation moving again. "Alright fine, I've been keeping an eye on you because I wanted to see when you'd finally crack under the stress. You've been frustratingly stubborn by the way."

"So has this, " Takami said demandingly, gesturing at the TV which was now showing something else entirely. "been just another of your attempts to drive me crazy?"

"I'll assume you mean that story about us having sex in a chocolate factory and not the documentary on lemurs." He responded, causing a growl to build up in Takami's throat. "No, that was just kinky sex for the sake of kinky sex. Smoothies turned out to be a bit too runny and we needed something thicker, so chocolate it was."

"And you don't care if they run a DNA analysis on what you've left there?" She asked, disregarding the extraneus information that she really did not need to know.

"I may have replaced all the blood and sperm that we left there with goat blood and sperm." Naruto admitted. "Do you think it'll start a legend about the horny Chupacabra?"

Takami exhaled noisily and very pointedly changed the subject. "You might have ruined that man's business with that stunt."

"I left him a bunch of diamonds in his office desk, he'll be fine unless he decides to be stupid and think they're cursed or something." Naruto replied dismissively, not commenting on the change of subject.

While Takami did agree in principle that making decisions based on superstition was foolish, Naruto was in a good position to make those superstitions seem plausible and was using it to play some very nasty mind games with people. Trying to argue the point with the horned blond was more than likey useless though and she didn't care enough to bother in any case.

"Right, fine, so you've been spying on me like the sick pervert you are." Her scathing tone produced only a grin from him. "Is there some reason that you've stopped lurking around me like a creep?"

"Indeed there is." Naruto confirmed cheerily. "I want to recruit you."

"Recruit me?!" She burst out incredulously. "Recruit me for what?"

"My Empire, well mine and Xanna's Empire."

"You have an Empire?!" Takami asked even more incredulously.

"Not yet." He said back, grinning again. "I'm planning on making one once I'm done collecting Sekirei and I've had a little discussion with Miya. I could really use a smart woman like you to speed up technological development."

Takami supressed a shudder at the thought of Miya and Naruto in the same room and focused on something else instead.

"When you say Empire..." She said slowly.

"I mean an actual Empire, as in a nation, not a financial one." Naruto cut her off, knowing what she was going to ask.

"And you would be Emperor?" Takami continued to ask slowly.

"Yep."

"And you would continue claiming godhood?"

"Well if I didn't, then my wife certainly would. I get the feeling that she's looking forward to having people call her the Celestial Empress or something equally ostentatious." He admitted.

"Uzumaki...are you planning to conquer Earth and declare yourself God-Emperor?" Takami asked seriously, she certainly wouldn't put it past him and more worryingly, he could probably do it.

"Oh hell no." Naruto responded instantly. "If I did that, then I'd have to start making SPESS MEHREENS and METAL BAWKSES!"

Takami blinked owlishly, having trouble interpreting what he'd just said since he'd used an accent so thick it would probably sink in water. "What?"

The horned blond rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively. "Nevermind, Youtube joke. No, I have no interest in conquering this planet and working my ass off to fix all the shit that's already been mucked up. Xanna and I have already scouted out a nice low tech world populated by humans in another dimension that we can take over and eventually build up into a high tech Empire."

"A planet populated by humans?" She asked, once again slowly.

"Yep.

"In another dimension?"

"Yep."

"Riiight." She drawled, deciding to not question it. Either he was crazy or they could actually do that, Takami wasn't sure which was worse. "Wait, you said take over?"

"That I did."

"This planet wouldn't happen to be under someone else's control already would it?"

"It is actually, but fuck that guy, he's an asshole."

"So you're just going to kill one dictator and replace him with yourself?"

"And Xanna, but yeah, pretty much." Naruto confirmed.

"How about letting them decide for themselves?"

Naruto stared at her and then started laughing. When he cottoned on to her unamused look, he stopped for a moment. "Oh wait, you're serious? Hang on a second while I laugh even harder, BAHAHAHAHAHAA."

After about a minute he finally calmed down, though the occasional chuckle still escaped him. "Hehehe, that was a good one. Let them decide for themselves, what a joke."

"And what exactly is wrong with democracy?" She asked frostily. She wasn't usually the type to get worked up over a political debate but his outright mockery of the modern system of government kind of pissed her off.

"Way too many things to count, but most importantly, how am I supposed to ensure a safe place to live for all these cute Sekirei if I'm not the ultimate authority?"

"Are you telling me that you're going to conquer a world and make yourself Emperor so that you can keep the Sekirei safe?!" She asked incredulously.

"Well duh, you think I actually _want_ to be Emperor for my own sake? I've done some pretty evil shit in my day, but I have _never_ dabbled in the Dark Arts of Bureaucracy before. Xanna is the only one looking forward to this and that's because she's over three thousand years old and has learned to enjoy things that are more long term. I've only been a god for about ten years and was kind of intending to get the power rush out of my system for a while before putting down roots, but these cute Sekirei will never have any peace from any government unless _I _ am the government."

"I see." Takami finally said after a long silence.

She had to admit that she was surprised. She had pegged Uzumaki as being a self indulgent asshole who did whatever he felt like doing as long as it amused him and while that wasn't exactly wrong, it clearly wasn't the whole truth either. He was genuinely taking serious responsibility for the wellbeing of the Sekirei even though he had no obligation to them beyond that which he'd created himself.

"You should also know that I'll be taking the Sekirei's space ship with me since I do have more claim to it than MBI."

"And how exactly do you figure that?" Takami demanded. "MBI was the one who found it."

"The ship belongs to the Sekirei and the Sekirei are under my protection, therefore I claim ownership of the ship and anything that might have been removed from it over the years." Or he would as soon as Miya was convinced to formally relinquish it, which she would do one way or another. Or she wouldn't and he would take it anyway, whatever.

"That's a nice sense of entitlement you've got there." She replied cynically.

"Thank you." He said back without any condescension at all and then jumped to another topic before she could answer. "By the way, I'm not sure if you're aware of this already or not, but both of your kids ended up becoming Ashikabi."

"What?!" Takami burst out, having _not_ been aware of this little factoid. With MBI's resources it would have been simplicity itself to find out, but she'd been so bogged down with all the crap that Minaka usually took care of that she missed a lot of the minor details.

"Oh yeah, that jelly-spined boy of yours ended up with Musubi and recently Matsu. He's living in Miya's inn at the moment and employed as a construction worker to pay for room and board."

Takami didn't even react to the minor(but unfortunately accurate) insult to her son in the face of the fact that he was living with _Miya_ of all people. How he had managed to set himself up there without running for the hills at the first sign of the Hannya mask escaped her. She also had to scowl at the thought of him working in construction, what a waste of potential.

"Your pervy little daughter on the other hand, got herself bonded to Shiina and is living with me because Kusano missed her Shi-chan."

The scientist aimed an immolating glare at the big blond at this and asked with deliberate motherly menace. "Uzumaki, did you have sex with my daughter?"

"No, though she did think that I've come to drag her off to become a harem girl for some reason and the first thing she did after that was to give me a thorough groping. What _have_ you been teaching that girl?"

While she was busy deciding what which part of that she was more upset about, Naruto spoke again.

"Well anywho, I'll let you think about it. Keep in mind that you'd probably spend at least a hundred years or so in temporal stasis while we build up the tech level to a point where your talents could be the most useful and don't worry about any side effects of the stasis, there aren't any." Naruto said while standing up, giving her a saucy wink and vanishing.

Takami fumed for a few minutes longer before sighing explosively and sprawling bonelessly on her couch. Unlike Minaka, she retained enough common sense to see an unwinnable battle when she saw one. Uzumaki _would_ take the ship as well as anything else he pleased and there really wasn't anything that anyone could do about it. She was actually vaguely surprised that he was even giving her a choice about coming along to this Empire that he planned to build.

She snorted at the last thought. Some choice that was, when her children were almost certain to go along with their Sekirei, which naturally meant that she would agree to go with them. She did love her children after all and hadn't wanted them getting mixed up in this because it would be dangerous, but now that they were involved it was probably too late to get them uninvolved.

And while the idea of an Empire ruled by Naruto and his wife filled her with a vague sense of dread, she had to admit that being just a scientist again would be nice. No more corporate crap or Minaka's crazy schemes, just research and maybe some development. The idea had more appeal the more she thought about it, despite her waryness of what Naruto might intend to do with an Empire at his command. The only thing that was truly reassuring about that situation was that he had admitted that he didn't want to be an Emperor but was doing it to ensure the safety of the Sekirei he was taking in.

Honestly, the biggest wrinkle in the idea was that she _really_ did not feel comfortable with the idea of working for a dictator. Historically, scientists in totalitarian regimes weren't tasked with research that would advance humanity but rather weapons development. Though she supposed that there might not be any need for that when both Naruto and his wife could be classified as weapons of mass destruction, along with more than one Sekirei.

She was well aware that she was being influenced towards accepting, but it was the type of manipulation that you really couldn't do anything against. He had done nothing more than lay out the facts, which just so happened to favor him quite heavily, either by chance or by his own design.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Come on Beni, get your game on. Your technique since last time has become even worse." Naruto chided while blocking a clumsy punch.

Benitsubasa huffed angrily and tried a few more attacks, not one of which went quite as planned until she finally exploded in frustration. "I can't help it! These new boobs keep going the wrong way all the time!"

"Yes, looking at it from a purely practical point of view, big boobs are completely useless and just get in the way." He commented wryly.

"You knew this would happen, didn't you?" She accused.

"I thought it might my cute little ragemonster, I also have issues about seeing upset girls." It was very odd for a fighter like Benitsubasa to be so concerned over the size of her boobs, but he figured it was just another Sekirei thing. Unlike a human woman, she didn't have to work her ass off to become strong and had missed out on the maturity that effort would have given her.

"I'm not your cute little ragemonster." She muttered back. "I guess I'll just learn to deal with it, there's plenty of Fist Type Sekirei that have big boobs."

"The size of your melons doesn't really affect your physical attraction you know." Naruto pointed out amusedly. "It just means that you'll have more drooling idiots staring at them as if they contain the secrets of the universe."

Benitsubasa covered her new breasts protectively as if the mere words would cause them to shrink again. "You say that when you're surrounded by women with monster tits!"

"Hey, it's not my fault if small chested Sekirei are a rarity. If they were human they'd have horrible back pain all the time and I'd have already deflated those airbags to a more reasonable size because I couldn't bear to watch them suffer. I'll probably still end up doing it for some of them, it can't possibly be comfortable to be carrying those around all the time." He countered.

The Red Sekirei had to admit that having bigger breasts hadn't been as amazing as she'd thought it would be. They kept swinging and jiggling around all the time, wearing bras got uncomfortable real fast and men did indeed stare at them stupidly. She'd loved the attention at first, but it hadn't taken her long to start feeling like she was just a set of tits attached to a body for most of them.

"I used to have a friend that had the most massive set of boobs on her that I'd ever seen." Naruto was saying. "You would not _believe_ the things she let me get away with just because I gave her good massages to relieve back and shoulder pains."

"You really don't think that women with small breasts aren't attractive?" Benitsubasa muttered almost indistinctly, looking rather embarrassed.

"I wouldn't have asked to lick you nipples when we met if I didn't think you were attractive." Naruto assured.

Strange though it was, that _was_ kind of reassuring.

"Ok then, could you make them a bit smaller?" She asked hesitantly but then hurried to continue before he could say anything. "Not as small as they used to be! Just smaller than they are now."

A minute later, Benitsubasa felt surprisingly relieved that she wasn't carrying a pair of oversized breasts around anymore. Haihane was a good deal taller than her and having breasts bigger than her silver haired friend hadn't been comfortable at all.

"I don't get you at all." Benitsubasa suddenly said to Naruto, both of them now sitting on the edge of the rooftop where they'd been having their light spar.

"What's not to get? I'm not trying to be mysterious." Naruto answered with amusement.

"You have all this power, but you're using it to play around and help the Sekirei." She elaborated.

"As opposed to doing what?"

"I don't know...something! You could do pretty much anything, I don't understand why you're tying yourself down with responsibility like this."

"It makes me happy to take care of a few girls, see them grow, fall in love and be happy. When I was still mortal I wasn't strong enough to defend my girls and they all died because of it. I can't think of any better use for my power now that I have it." He explained.

Benitsubasa contemplated that quietly for a while before speaking again. "What about that wife of yours then?"

"Xanna isn't like me, she's not quite like anyone actually, but she's very patient and doesn't mind my quirks. More than that, she's very old doesn't easily get interested in something. It took me years of constant effort and bullheaded stubbornness before I got her interest and years more before I managed to get her to love me."

"I don't understand how you could keep going after someone for that long without giving up." She said quietly. Now that she could see how false her infatuation with Natsuo was, she kind of wanted to smash him for all that time she wasted on humiliating herself by trying to get his attention.

"The situation was somewhat complicated, but lets just say that if it wasn't for her, I'd have probably been content to die before I got through puberty instead of fighting. I was pretty stubborn as a kid and I'd gotten it in my head that I would get her to marry me. Granted, I didn't think I'd end up becoming a god, but that's how it ended up being."

Benitsubasa thought it over, but he continued speaking. "It might sound a bit corny, but love turned out to be the only thing really worth fighting for, isn't that right Kazehana?"

There was a noise of surprise as the aforementioned Wind Sekirei revealed her skulking position.

Benitsubasa tried to jump to her feet and into a fighting stance, but Naruto put a hand on her shoulder to keep her still.

"Come sit with us Little Flower, it has to be more comfortable than spying on us from back there." He invited, patting the empty spot on his left.

There was a chuckle as the chestiest of all Sekirei approached and accepted the invitation. "How long have you known that I was there?"

"Always, which includes all the times that you've been peeping on me in the past." Naruto teased.

"I was not peeping on you." Kazehana retorted, her cheeks slighly flushed either from alcohol or embarrassment. "I was merely curious about what you were up to."

"Which you were trying to find out by secretly observing me." Naruto pointed out with a grin. "That sounds like peeping to me."

"Stop being such a charming tease, I'm trying to be angry at you." She said and took a drink from her omnipresent bottle of sake.

"Because of the things I've been doing to Minaka?" He asked knowingly.

"So it seems that you really _do_ know everything."

"Not everything, but plenty." Naruto stated and placed a hand on her back. "Let me take care of that dilemma for you."

For just a moment, Kazehana felt very...odd and then it was over, but she was suddenly in better spirits for some reason. "What did you just do?"

"I took care of that pesky rejected reaction that has been messing with you for years now. It's been getting better, but stupidly slowly so I sped it up." He explained.

Kazehana frowned in thought and then realised that the old ache of Minaka's rejection suddenly didn't hurt anymore, as if someone had just flipped a switch and made it all better. In fact, the thought of the MBI president inspired no feeling at all.

"What have you done?"

"Your core was a bit wobbly after being rejected by someone you reacted to, so I stabilized it and blocked your winging ability to prevent it from happening again."

"And you did all of this without my permission?" Kazehana asked dangerously, her wind already gathering threateningly. She placed great value on the Sekirei bond and having it taken away from her was not something she was happy about.

A very cold breeze going between her legs and hitting her right in the nether regions made her yelp in surprise. "Chill out woman, I'll reverse it in a little while if you want me to, but bear it for now while I ask you some questions."

Kazehana frowned again, both in consideration of his suggestion and of his obviously superior control of wind, but nodded in acquiescence, though she had to wonder if she'd just been molested by the wind.

"What the hell are you up to this time Naruto?" Benitsubasa asked suspiciously.

She'd kept quiet so far because she didn't really know what to do about their sudden visitor and Naruto had obviously been expecting her to drop by. Not very long ago, she'd have been insanely jealous of the massive chest that the other Sekirei was sporting, but having experienced the pains and rather dubious joys of large breasts, she found herself content with her more manageable and modest ones.

"I'm going to convince the Little Flower here that she should be happy about me blocking her winging ability." Naruto explained bluntly, grinning.

"Not much chance of that." Kazehana scoffed disbelievingly. "And don't you think that calling a nee-chan like me by such a nickname is a bit inappropriate?"

"Why would it be inappropriate? You're only eighteen years old."

Kazehana spat out her sake in shock and stared at him, before laughing nervously. "Good one Naruto-san, but I'm afraid that I don't look that young anymore."

"If you say so." He said back with much amusement, giving her a suggestive lift of an eyebrow with the clear insinuation that playing stupid wasn't going to work.

"Apparently you know more than I expected." She sighed in defeat.

"Clearly." He agreed.

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Benitsubasa asked irritably, getting the distinct impression that she was missing a lot of subtext.

"Ancient history Beni, ancient history." Naruto said soothingly and patted her thigh.

"Right, well, how about we get on with those questions of yours so that I can get my winging ability back?" Kazehana hurried to say before the pinkette could try to dig any deeper. She was not at all eager to be dredging up the circumstances and details of her early life.

"Yes, lets!" Naruto contributed with severely overdone cheer. "First question: hypothetically, is it better to get to know someone and learn to love them or instantly fall in love with them?"

Kazehana frowned in thought. Clearly the question referred to the Sekirei reaction and she suspected that there was some kind of verbal trap in it, but she couldn't see it for the life of her. "I would think that it does not matter in the end as long as there is love."

"But doesn't love take two people?" Naruto pressed.

"Ideally yes, two people would love each other."

"But doesn't the Sekirei winging ability almost encourage the creation of harems, with multiple Sekirei being bound to a single Ashikabi?"

"Well yes, but that doesn't mean that the Ashikabi is incapable of loving them all."

"Uh huh, but only the Sekirei will feel instant love, the Ashikabi has no such mechanic and might not even _like_ all of the Sekirei bound to him." Naruto argued back.

Kazehana laughed lightly, thinking that argument to be silly. "That's impossible, as long as the Sekirei reacted to him, an Ashikabi would eventually learn to love his Sekirei."

Naruto grinned widely. "And what if I told you that any Sekirei can react to _any_ Ashikabi, given sufficient time spent in their presence."

Kazehana froze and asked her next question very deliberately. "What are you talking about?"

"The Sekirei reaction has nothing to do with finding a 'destined one'. The reason that it is called a reaction in the first place is because once a Sekirei and Ashikabi spend enough time in close proximity, the Sekirei core will begin to resonate with the chakra remnant possessed by all Ashikabi and 'react', overheating your body, starting to form a bond and compelling you to finalize it."

While Kazehana dealt with her shock and tried to deny it, Naruto pressed onward. "Certain elemental type Sekirei have a wider area in which they react because of their connection to their element. In your particular case however, the rejected bond by Minaka was acting like a shield and preventing you from forming another until it completely subsided. If you had by chance decided to live at Miya's inn for a while, you would have no doubt found yourself reacting to one of her current tenants that happens to be an Ashikabi within a week or two, regardless of any kind of compatibility with him."

Kazehana finally regained her faculties and crossed her arms mulishly."I don't believe you."

"Why do you think Minaka stopped interacting with the Sekirei in person after you reacted to him? Why do you think he specifically sought out employees that had no Ashikabi potential? He wanted his ridiculous Sekirei Plan to go forward and that would have been problematic if all the Sekirei ended up getting bonded to their adjustors or to him. How do you think self centered assholes like Higa got their first Sekirei? It certainly wasn't because he made for a good match with them." Naruto pointed out.

"But..."She tried to argue further, truly distressed now.

"I'm sorry Little Flower, but reality isn't romantic, it's heartless and cruel." He said sympathetically and rubbed her back.

"Then what is the winging if the reaction doesn't mean that a Sekirei has found their destined one?" She asked, this time with a distinct note of bitterness in her tone.

"It's hard to be sure with all the secrets going around, but my money is on it being a method of enslavement that Minaka devised before any of you even woke up. Minaka certainly thinks that's what it is, though even he's not quite sure how he managed it since his understanding of the Jinki is very basic."

"Great, just beautiful. You really know how to ruin someone's day Naruto-san." The bitterness was more pronounced in Kazehana's tone this time this time.

"It's a gift," He agreed. "but look on the bright side, at least you're free of all that now that I've blocked your winging ability and I'm doing the same for the other Sekirei. You are now perfectly capable of finding some real love." Naruto pointed out.

"There is that." She conceded, managing a slight smile.

"And now that all this heavy conversation is over with, we can go to a bar and get smashed, my treat."

"Now you're speaking my language Naruto-san." The Wind Sekirei said, perking up at the thought of drinking at someone else's expense. "I know just the place." It was a very expensive kind of place.

"Nice. Come on Beni, we're getting drunk."

"Wait, what? I didn't agree to this!"

"I know, there's always that one person in the group that didn't agree to it but gets drunk anyway. Besides, I want to see if you're an angry drunk."

"But you said you were a god, how can you even _get_ drunk?"

"Fuck you, that's how."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, knee jerk reaction."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"When I said that I wanted to see Beni drunk, this wasn't quite what I had in mind." Naruto commented amusedly, looking at the passed out Benitsubasa that was now drooling on the table.

"Looks like Beni-chan can't hold her liqueur." Kazehana agreed, knocking back another mouthful of the very expensive booze that Naruto was paying for.

Well, Benitsubasa couldn't hold her liqueur in comparison to Naruto and Kazehana, but it still would have been enough to give an ordinary human alcohol poisoning. The proprietor of the bar had been more than eager to keep them supplied since Naruto's bottomless pockets were paying for it all and they didn't look like they were about to die any time soon. Though, he had looked ever more incredulous as bottle after bottle was emptied without any great effect.

"Where are you even getting all this money? I don't see any pockets on your clothes, what little of them you wear anyway." The Wind Sekirei asked suspiciously and a bit tipsily, her cheeks flushed red.

"Oh, places." Naruto answered with a vague gesture. He was a bit tipsy himself, though he had to constantly keep suppressing his liver to keep it from instantly metabolising the alcohol. It meant that he couldn't actually get drunk since his control would slip once it got that far, but he couldn't get hungover either, so at least he had that going for him.

Kazehana shrugged and abandoned that line of inquiry, as long as he way paying it didn't really matter anyway. "I couldn't help overhearing that you're married Naruto-san, could you tell me how you and your wife met? Was it romantic?"

Naruto snorted in amusement, thinking of how their first 'meeting' was enabled by the misguided sacrificial death of his parents. "Oh yeah, real romantic."

"Oh, you must tell me about it!" Kazehana bounced in her seat excitedly, completely missing the sarcastic undertone in her slightly intoxicated state.

He gave her giant boobs an amused look, rather reminded of Tsunade by their jiggling and her drinking. "You remind me so much of an old friend right now, all you need is a green outfit, a gambling addiction and a violent predisposition."

"Stop trying to distract me Naruto-kun, I want to hear about how you met your wife." Kazehana persisted.

Naruto gave her another amused look at the sudden switch to a more familiar honorific, but shrugged and told her a shortened version of his and Xanna's romance. That's what bars were for anyway, right?

It still took almost an hour to get through it, by the end of which Kazehana was dabbing at her eyes and sniffling. "That was so beautiful, you loved her so much that you became a god because of your determination to stay with her forever, thawing out her heart in the process. Surely it was a destined love!"

He grinned at the ever more tipsy woman, rather amused by her obsession with love and romance. He was also amused because she seemed to be under the impression that Xanna was now a warm and affectionate woman.

Clearly, Kazehana had filtered out all the more unsavoury things he'd mentioned doing, such as lots of killing, inhumane human experimentation, enslaving an enemy, literally sucking the life out of people to extend his own life, stealing peoples memories for power and various other things. He wondered if that was normal for her or if it was because she was well on her way to getting sloshed. Or maybe she thought it was romantic despite that.

"I wish someone loved me like that." Kazehana bemoaned, leaning forward on the table and causing her breasts to spill outward.

"I'm sure you'll find someone that will appreciate your bountiful assets Little Flower." Naruto reassured.

Kazehana giggled. "Did you just make a pun about my boobs Naruto-kun?"

"Still not drunk enough to miss the bad puns huh?" He asked amusedly.

"Nope!" She giggled again and then continued huskily(and rather drunkenly). "How about you Naruto-kun, do you appreciate my assets? "She punctuated her question by grabbing her breasts and shifting the massive rolls of fat around in a way that set a large portion of the bar to staring.

"They are nice assets." He answered noncommittally.

"Maybe you'd like to appreciate them in private?"

"Why Kazehana, are you attempting to seduce a married man?"

"I would never do such a thing, but I hear that you give large breasted women backrubs to relieve pain and I'm in a lot of pain."

"Well we can't have that now can we?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

No more than a few minutes later, Benitsubasa was put to bed, now wearing a T-shirt that said 'LIGHTWEIGHT' in bold capital letters.

In another room back at the hotel (one of those that Naruto was paying for that were actually still empty), Kazehana was laying naked on her stomach while Naruto brought out the massage oil.

"You know that the backrub request was actually an invitation to have sex with me, right?" She slurred.

"Nooooo, really?" Naruto retorted with much sarcasm and spilled a trickle of oil on her back.

Kazehana twitched when the cold oil hit her skin, but quickly relaxed as it was warmed by her body heat. Then she groaned in pleasure as his fingers started kneading, shifting and generally doing very pleasant things to her back.

"Where did you learn how to do this?" She asked through another groan, feeling herself getting wet just because the massage was _that_ good.

"A brothel."

Kazahana giggled at the blunt answer. It suddenly made sense why she was getting so turned on because of a massage.

"Your wife is a lucky woman." She mumbled. "What are the chances that she'd let me join in?"

"Lets just say that I wouldn't bet on those odds and I tend to gamble on some very long odds." Not to mention that he didn't feel anything for the Wind Sekirei himself. " I'm actually surprised she's let Akitsu as close as she has."

Naruto figured that Xanna must like the Ice Sekire's submissive personality. Either that or she was having trouble pushing the affection starved girl away. He knew that Xanna wasn't a stone cold bitch no matter how much she might give that impression.

Not to everyone anyway...well, not to people that she took a liking to...which was enormously hard to do. It was actually kind of amazing that Akitsu had managed to evoke some fondness from Xanna that quickly.

"Nut bunnies." Kazehana 'cursed' in a mumble. "At least she doesn't mind if you sleep around."

"I'm not having sex with you until you stop pretending to be drunk Little Flower." Naruto stated, his voice full of amusement.

Kazehana froze and then relaxed with a chuckle. "How did you know I was pretending?"

"You have no idea how tempted I am to say 'Fuck you, that's how.'"

"Well since I'm not pretending anymore, I suppose you could just fuck me instead of saying it." She replied cheekily.

"I don't know, mortal women tend to get tired so quickly." Naruto drawled with a smirk.

"Are you saying that I couldn't satisfy you?" She asked back challengingly.

"You're damn right you couldn't, I'd still be ready to go by the time you were unconscious."

"I won't believe that until you prove it."

"You sure you want that? I've been told that I've ruined women for other men before."

"Now you're just being cocky." She huffed.

"If you say so." Was his response to that, sounding far too amused. She might think he was being cocky, but it was a fact that he could cheat and cause her pleasure in ways and intensities that just wasn't available to regular people.

The massage continued in silence for a while longer, with Kazehana getting progressively more aroused, especially when his hands dipped lower and fondled her buttocks in a way that she really couldn't bring herself to object about.

"Enough teasing, just do it." She finally moaned out, wiggling her hips and deliberately spreading her legs.

"As long as you understand that this is just going to be casual sex with no strings attached." He replied with infuriating calm, not even stopping the massage.

"Do you always delay like this when women offer to have sex with you?" She growled at him in frustration. At this rate she was going to have an orgasm just from the massage.

"Not usually, but you romantic types are dangerous. It would be unfortunate if you started feeling resentful later because I don't want a relationship with you."

Kazehana took a deep breath and exhaled gustily, trying to ignore her raging arousal for a moment.

Alright, she could appreciate his immovable stance on that. Clearly he held his wife in the highest esteem and wouldn't even consider going outside of the limits she set for him, few though they were. That much she had gotten from their conversation in the bar and if there was one thing that Kazehana could appreciate, it was a powerful love.

It was really too bad that there was no room for her to join in, because she was sure that she could very easily learn to love Naruto even if it was nothing more than attraction at the moment.

And it was one hell of a powerful attraction. He definitely knew how to charm a woman out of her clothes, even if you wouldn't think it to look at him.

It was certainly shaping up to be a better sexual experience than her first one, that was for sure. Getting drunk off her ass after Minaka's rejection and going home with a random one night stand had _not_ been her best idea. The man had been selfish in the extreme and she'd been left feeling cheap and used afterwards, the only silver lining to that experience had been that the man hadn't had the potential to be an Ashikabi or else she'd have gotten stuck with him.

She'd taken to getting drunk on top of tall buildings after that, where she couldn't get the same idiotic idea again.

Naruto and her had been flirting for the entire time of their drinking and she actually felt a desire to go through with it for a change. She flirted a lot, but mostly just for fun, this time she was genuinely aroused though. Meh, she'd decided that she wanted it a short time after hearing that his wife didn't mind him sleeping around, so it was a bit late to be getting cold feet now.

"I understand, now back up your earlier talk." She finally purred. If nothing else, she was sure that it would serve to show her what sex was _really_ supposed to be like. The big blond seemed quite experienced.

"Oh I will." He purred back and lifted her hips so that she was on her knees.

Kazehana had only a moment to feel disappointed at the thought that he intended to dive right in before he dove right in, just not in the way she'd thought he would.

Instead of the thicnk and hard member she'd been feeling pressed against her earlier, an absurdly long prehensile tongue snaked around her entrance and lapped up all the fluids she'd already released with her arousal and then rubbed sensuously over her nether lips before slithering inside her.

Kazehana gasped and stifled her moans by burying her head in the pillow, helplessly gripping the mattress under it until she heard it rip while her insides were plundered. There was a distant incredulity in her mind at the impossibly long tongue and what it was doing to her, but it was all pushed aside as the pleasure remained foremost in her mind.

Her breathing sped up and became frantic as she felt herself approaching climax, but one far more powerful than anything she had ever given herself. When it felt that she was mere moments away, something surged into her nerves and caused her body to arch stiffly and her vision to go white.

When she came down from the high of what she suspected had been multiple orgasms, she discovered that she'd ripped the mattress apart where she'd been gripping it, her throat was sore from screaming into the pillow and her legs were shaking uncontrollably because of her overloaded nervous system.

She was given no time to rest though, as a large hand grabbed hold of her hair and the other grasped a breast and she was lifted into a kneeling position with Naruto behind her, obviously prepared to enter her.

"Give...me a minute...need...a break." She managed to say through her panting. With the way that her legs were still shaking, she really couldn't do anything to resist, not when she'd collapse if he let her go.

"I did warn you, but you wouldn't listen." He purred into her ear and gave it a long lick, slowly pushing himself into her.

Kazehana stifled her cries as much as she could when her already abused nerves were rubbed and stretched by the fleshy rod sliding into her. Her hands flailed for something to grab on to and eventually found the conveniently placed horns on top of his head, causing her breasts to jut forward as she pulled on them with all of her strength in an attempt to regain some self control.

"Why don't you scream for me again?" He growled into her ear, using his hands to play with her nipples, sending tiny burst of electricity to shock the nerves in them.

"N-Noo-ugh." Was about the limit of her coherence as he slid fully into her, or at least as much as the awkward position would allow.

She managed to restrain herself to groans when he started to slowly thrust into her, though the random spikes of pleasure from her nipples sometimes surprised her and allowed a sharper cry to escape.

The sensitivity from her earlier climax had faded somewhat and she regained enough control to rock her hips back to meet his thrusts, making her delight in the grunts and growls of pleasure that rumbled from his chest.

After a couple of minutes of this, Naruto decided that it was time to shake her up again and moved one of his hands down to her clitoris. Her self control eroded rapidly as he stimulated it every which way with both fingers and chakra, once again reducing her to reactive spasming and gasping for air.

She tried to hold it back, wanting him to climax first, but it was to no avail when he intensified the stimulation. Very quickly, the same tension as before rose up in her, and she knew that another massive climax was approaching and this time there wouldn't be any pillow to muffle her screaming if she ended up doing so.

When the tension boiled over and triggered her orgasm, her vision whited out again. When she returned to her senses, she was once again lying face down in the mattress with his heavy body on top of her and there was a flood of warmth spilling into her, enhancing the orgasmic aftershocks.

The thought that she might get pregnant did occur to her, but she felt so exhausted that she couldn't be bothered to do anything but lay there and let him discharge into her as much as he pleased.

By the time he was done, she felt rather bloated and the warmth had long since started moving from her vaginal tunnel and into her uterus.

"For someone that doesn't want to form any more attachments, you aren't very careful about where you blow your load." She teased tiredly.

"That's because I can control whether I get a woman pregnant or not." He replied, the smirk clearly audible in his tone, making no move to get off her.

"I see." Kazehana said, fighting to keep her eyes open for just a little longer. " So, are you satisfied?"

He pushed his hips forward to draw attention to the fact that he was still rock hard inside her. "I'm more than ready to go again."

Kazehana groaned at the motion, her nether regions feeling so overstimulated that it felt unpleasant more than anything. "I surrender, you win. Now let me sleep."

She might have liked to take a bath first, as the combination of oil and sweat did not make for the most pleasant of sensations, but she'd probably drown in the tub with the way she was feeling right now.

Naruto chuckled and carefully pulled out of her, getting another groan from the Wind Sekirei. When he pulled the covers over her, repaired the mattress and put her head on a pillow, she was already fast asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto was just about to go see if Xanna was in the mood for some sex too or if he would need to teleport to the Artic circle for a short swim. Usually she was always up for it, but lately she'd been reading a lot, which meant that she occasionally refused.

The hypothetical situation never came to pass as information from one of his spy clones zinged through his head. More specifically, the one he had on Tsukiumi.

Looks like the blonde tsundere had managed to get herself into a bit of a pickle and Musubi was in on it for some reason. Looks like he was mounting a rescue. Fun.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**OMAKE by popular request.**

"They are coming." An elderly priest said grimly.

"It is over then, we have failed." A similarly old cardinal dressed in red robes said, equally grim.

"Who could have imagined that something so seemingly inane could hold such power? We did not take it seriously and now all is lost." A third priest said.

"We would have lost even if we had taken it seriously from the start, this Devil was clever and waited until mankind had created a society for itself that allowed him to so easily gain followers." The Pope said, his voice creaking with age and exhaustion.

"But Your Holiness," The first priest protested in shock. "surely we could have halted the spread of this evil if we had known to act immediately?"

"Did you not see how he subverted the populations of whole nations with his blasphemous gifts? Did you not see how he entered the nunneries with impunity, defiling and corrupting the young and impressionable sisters?" The old Pope asked with the despair of someone who had seen the collapse of all he knew. "No, I fear that we were defeated long ago and have only now become aware of it."

After the inital news had exploded from Japan, women of all ages had stormed the island nation in droves, seeking the newly titled "Breast God" to gain his favor. Then had come the worst part, as speculation had run rampant over whether the strange horned man could do other things, such as burn off fat and switch people's genders.

Brazenly, this Devil who identified himself as Uzumaki Naruto(clearly a fake name designed to make him seem like a Japanese native and trick the masses into believing he was not Satan.) appeared on television and confirmed that he could do it all and even demonstrated.

The world erupted into chaos as many sought him out. Women seeking larger breasts, women seeking to lose weight, women seeking to be more beautiful, men seeking to be women, women seeking to be men, weirdoes seeking to be both at once and many more.

The Church had tried to caution people and warn them away from this obvious trick, but to no avail. What was eternity in the embrace of the Lord in comparison to the instant rewards offered by this Devil?

Christianity itself was collapsing as people abandoned the religion in favor of a new one with a visible deity. The Jews and Muslims had somewhat more success keeping things together, but they too were being eroded, it was just slower.

"Blaming others for you own failures again, how quaint." A female voice suddenly spoke, her voice enchantingly beautiful.

The senior priesthood of the Catholic church who had gathered for this meeting in the Vatican whirled around to stare at the intruder and gaped in shock.

She was a woman of immense beauty, with a dusky complexion and glowing blue eyes. From her back extended two magnificent wings that were as white as her hair.

"What a gaudy place you've chosen to set yourselves up in, surrounded by wealth and luxury and proclaiming yourselves holy men. What a joke." She continued saying while the old men gaped.

"Who...who are you?" One of the priests asked hesitantly.

"Idiots, even when I specifically choose this form to make recognition easier they still fail to grasp the obvious." The winged woman said to herself in exasperation.

One of the other priests had come to a conclusion by now. "My lady? Are you...God?"

"No, I'm the tooth fairy." She said back sarcastically.

The old men were clearly too stunned already to be shocked by the sarcasm and one of them blurted out. "But I thought that...well..."

"That God was a male? That's what I get for tasking a group of men with writing a book. I still resent having my gender changed to suit your male egos by the way."

"Enough." The Pope said, looking at the poleaxed priests, having gotten more of his faculties in check than the others. "Though your presence honors us my lady, I cannot help but fear that it is an ill omen."

"You got that right Big Daddy Pope." A growly male voice interjected as Naruto appeared in a flash of fire.

The priests jumped like startled chickens at his appearance, which was a stark contrast to his winged counterpart, all horns and fangs.

"What are you doing here demon?! This is a house of God!" One of the priests exclaimed.

"Not for long it isn't. When my cute followers smash down the doors, this is going to be my crib yo!" Naruto finished his sentence in a ridiculous rap style just for kicks and took an exaggerated look around. "This place is so stupidly gaudy that a pimp would fit right in. I think I'll turn it into a whorehouse."

"What do you think sweetheart? Come to the Vatican and get a _religious_ experience." He asked the winged woman with a leer.

"I think a flood might not be drastic enough this time, I should just throw the entire planet into the Sun." She replied boredly while buffing her nails.

"You're such a sore loser sweetie. The first time I win it's a flood, now your talking about tossing a whole planet into a star. What's next, Universal collapse?" Naruto complained. "Just come over to my place and I'll help you loosen right up."

"You see what I have to deal with now because of you? He's going to be making crass propositions to me for the rest of eternity because of your failure." Well, he was going to be making crass propositions for the rest of eternity, but not because of them.

While the mortals were too stunned to reply once again, Naruto continued the conversation with a snicker. "Yeah, you guys are like my best friends. I'll even let you pick out the size of your horns when you kick the bucket since you've done so much to help me over the centuries."

"We will not join you demon." The Pope creaked out .

"Honestly, there you go, assuming I'm a demon just because I have horns." Naruto said in exasperation. "You know what else has horns? A moose! What if I'm a moose you racist bastard?"

"Must you mock us? You've already won." A red robed cardinal said, internally wondering if he could maneuver himself to come out on top somehow.

"But that's the best part." Naruto responded, confused as to how they didn't get it. "As for you not joining me, you don't have a choice since the winged hottie isn't letting you into Heaven. She's not very big on forgiveness."

"But it is said that God forgives all our trespasses if we forgive others their trespasses." Another priest protested weakly.

"No I don't." She said flatly. "Another one of you idiot mortals put that into the Bible to make himself feel better. Honestly, do you not see how stupid that policy would be? If I forgave everything as long as people repented and forgave others, I would be basically condoning any atrocity imaginable."

Naruto cackled menacingly, flames reaching up to consume him. "I'll see you in Hell...and I need to sue Hollywood for using that line in their movies so often."

The winged woman sighed and vanished as well, leaving behind a group of old men staring blankly at the walls. They didn't even hear when the horde started smashing down the doors with their ridiculous battle cry.

"BOOBS FOR THE BOOB GOD!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Do you think we went a bit too far just now?" Naruto asked of his wife.

"Who cares, they'll figure it out when they're dead and that would have been soon enough either way." She replied uncaringly, rolling her neck around , glad to have the wings gone and her horns back, not to mention her natural eye color. Blue simply did not work for her. "Besides, you were the one who plunged the world into chaos with a magical boob job."

"I didn't really expect that things would get _this_ bad." Naruto said defensively.

"And since you couldn't easily fix it you decided to make it worse instead?" Xanna asked archly.

"Well if you're gonna mess up, you might as well do it spectacularly." He answered with a sheepish grin.

"And that right there husband, is one of the reasons I love you. You are incapable of doing something in a boring way."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**There we go, chapter the Ninth.**

**As was stated earlier, the OMAKE was made by popular request and was not meant to offend anyone.**

**If you ****_have_**** been offended by it...well I can't in all honesty say that I care if I've added to the general offensiveness of the internet, but I didn't do it with the express purpose of offending anyone, so there you go.**

**Now feel the burning stare of my hamster and review my chapter!**


	10. Chapter 10

**There were reviews things that I was sure I had to answer here, but at the moment I'm in a huge hurry to get to work and have no time to do so.**

**Similarly, any spelling or grammatical errors will have to wait for correction until after I get home, so keep that in mind in case there are too many of them xD. I've been writing for the past 6 hours in the hope of finishing this before I had to leave for work today.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

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Naruto could only facepalm at the general stupidity of the situation.

The first stupid thing to facepalm about was the fact that losing Kakizaki and subsequently Kochō had apparently made Higa both scared and stupid. Oh he'd no doubt deny being scared, but the spoiled corporate heir had no real idea what the fuck he was doing and that was _before_ his and Xanna's arrival.

Hur hur, I'm going to destroy MBI by playing their game by their rules and without knowing the extent of MBI's capabilities, look at how clever I am. Retard.

But getting back to the point, Higa had seemingly come to the conclusion that his problems could be solved by getting more Sekirei for some unspecified future purpose. He planned to do this by apparently forcibly winging Tsukiumi, clearly unaware that this was no longer possible. Musubi seemed to have just gotten caught up in it by virtue of being present at the time, having been engaged in a friendly spar with the Water Sekirei in an warehouse that was unfortunately close to the eastern territory. They probably planned to either abduct or deactivate her.

Normally, those two together would have no great trouble defending themselves, as they numbered among the stronger Sekirei, which brings us to the second point of stupidity. Both of them had already been somewhat tired from their spar, yet they had decided to stick around because one was too proud to run and the other too much of a combat nut.

The third point of stupidity was the fact that staying to fight when there were eigth of them and two of you was generally a bad idea unless you knew for sure that you were stronger than them by a comfortable margin, which was not the case here. For sure, Musubi and Tsukiumi were stronger than each of them individually, but not all of them at once.

It was slightly surprising that half of those Sekirei were Higa's, but Naruto figured that was because of his meddling. Those four being Katsuragi, Shi, Sai and Kaiha.

Katsuragi and Shi were two that he had noted previously as ones that would definitely need someone to look after them for a while, allowing them a security blanket until they were comfortable.

Katsuragi was prone to frequent fits of melancholy, probably worsened by Higa's attitude towards Sekirei and could definitely do with some fun in her life.

Shi had been deeply insecure and shy even before she was released from the labs and her forced winging to Higa had only made that more pronounced. She was one of those Sekirei that was in serious need of a big brother, a position that Naruto was more than happy to fill.

Both of them were close combat types and it was nice to see that not all of them were just a few steps away from killing random people on the street.

On the other end of the spectrum, Sai was volatile and easily angered. Naruto had at first thought that she might be another one of those that he would have to kill, but it was fortunately not the case. She was just foul tempered.

And way off the deep end of the spectrum was Kaiha, who was at this very moment making her best crazy axe murderer face as she tried to skewer Musubi with her twin curved swords that made her look as if she was dual wielding two giant scythe blades. Clearly, she had no interest in keeping Musubi alive.

The other four were with Ashikabi that Higa had payed off. Naruto made a note to himself to make a more in depth check on those pairings. If those four were willing to be payed to attack two women at four on one odds, then there was a good chance that they had no business having Sekirei winged to them.

"Cowards! Cease this dishonorable attack and face us in single combat!" Tsukiumi was howling, using her water to fend off her attackers.

"Yeah! This isn't fair!" Musubi agreed, weaving around Kaiha's furious attack. She was actually less pressed than Tsukiumi because Kaiha's flailing could easily harm one of her 'allies' as well as the fist fighter.

Naruto sighed to himself in both amusement and exasperation. Single combat was nice and all, but it was a bit late to be insisting on it _after_ you've already been attacked.

"I'm sorry!" Shi squeaked but continued attacking.

_Okay, now that was just cute._ He thought to himself and decided to interfere before somebody got hurt that shouldn't be getting hurt.

Many startled exclamations and a few curses later, the eight attacking Sekirei were being held aloft by chains. A clone had done the same to the four Ashikabi standing nearby.

"Naruto-sama!" Musubi exclaimed enthusiastically, looking entirely too happy for someone that had been on the verge of getting killed, though Naruto figured that she probably didn't understand the concept of dying too well in the first place. "There are two of you!"

"Hello there Musubi-chan." Naruto greeted the girl. He didn't normally bother with honorifics, but Musubi was definitely a '-chan'. He also made another clone and had it carry off Kaiha, no need to kill the murderous Sekirei in front of someone as naive as Musubi.

Musubi made another noise of awe at the feat and bounced around like a hyper energetic puppy. "Now there are three Naruto-sama's, so cool!"

"How did thou know to aid us?" Tsukiumi asked suspiciously, finding his timing to be a bit too convenient.

"I've been spying on you just in case you got yourself in trouble." He answered honestly.

"Perverted fiend, thou has been leering at me from the shadows have thee not?" The Water Sekirei demanded hotly.

"I resent that Sprinkles, whenever I leer at a woman, I make sure she knows it. Peeping on women from the shadows is just sad." Naruto rebuffed.

Tsukiumi was brought up short by the unexpected reply and fell silent, giving him time to focus on his captives.

First, he set down the four that were not winged to Higa and made a clone for each. "You four, go with my clones and we'll have a little conversation with your Ashikabi."

Bewildered and more than slightly frightened, the four women did so, disappearing out of sight along with their nervous Ashikabi.

Next he set down the three remaning Sekirei. "Alright you three, hold still for a second."

"Why? What are you going to do?!" Sai demanded to know.

"I'm going to unwing you." He answered and did so before they even stopped blinking in surprise.

"Naruto-sama that's horrible! Unwinging a Sekirei is a terrible thing to do!" Musubi protested.

"Don't be silly Musubi-chan, these girls were all winged by force. Go ahead and ask them if they'd like to go back to Higa."

Confused, Musubi proceeded to do so, asking them if that was what they wanted with unusual seriousness.

Katsuragi and Sai exchanged a look and shook their heads, looking rather lost now that they were free. They had no money and no way to support themselves, but they didn't want to go back to Higa.

Sai on the other hand..." Hell no! That bastard had his bloodhounds drag me over to him and winged me by force, I'm gonna kill him!"

"Don't worry about that, I'll be taking care of Higa shortly, but you're welcome to join if you want to." Naruto interjected and continued with something else. "Also, all three of you can come live with me if you want. I'm already looking after many Sekirei that I've unwinged and there's always room for a few more."

"What about Kaiha?" Katsuragi asked hesitantly. The dual wielder had always frightened her.

"Kaiha won't be coming with us, she's too dangerous." Naruto answered, getting looks of understanding from everyone bar Musubi.

"Where will you take her then?" The fist fighter asked cluelessly.

"Don't worry about that Musubi-chan." He told her soothingly and patted her on the head.

"Okay! Hey Naruto-sama, can you spar with me?" She asked excitedly, rapidly putting the fate of the other Sekirei out of her mind.

Naruto felt an absurd trickle of guilt at her blind trust. He knew there was nothing else to do for Kaiha except kill her, but Musubi's naive trust and excitement made him feel like he was lying to a puppy. An adorable, large breasted puppy. And he hadn't even actually lied to her!

"I'm a bit busy right now, but I'll make some time to spar with you soon." He assured.

"Yay!" Musubi cheered, pumping a fist into the air.

"I too would like a spar." Tsukiumi added, standing with her legs at shoulder height and pointing a finger at him in a very tsundere pose. "I will show you that I am the strongest!"

"Are you going to get wet for me again?" Naruto leered.

Tsukiumi blushed and sputtered, the innuendo not lost on her, which made him chuckle in amusement at how easily she was flustered.

"Hey! We've decided to accept your offer, under certain conditions." Sai interrupted.

Abandoning the byplay with Tsukiumi, the horned blond focused back on the three newly freed Sekirei. "Sure sure, lets talk while we walk. I think you'll find the arrangement to be very favorable to you."

"Bye Tsukiumi, bye Musubi-chan." He said back to the two Sekirei, getting an enthusiastic goodbye and wave from Musubi and a 'hmph' from Tsukiumi.

The last thing that the two of them heard was a question from Naruto.

"Have any of you ever wanted a big brother?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Izumi Higa liked to consider himself a man of control, control of himself, of his company and of the things around him. With his money, cunning and ruthlessness, he had managed to get his way in just about every way imaginable for his whole life.

He did not feel particularly in control at this moment. That was understandable however, as it was hard to feel in control when you were hanging upside down, suspended over the ground only due to the fact that there was a hand holding you by the ankle.

The horned man had moved through the building with the inevitability of the Grim Reaper, cutting down three of his most violent Sekirei, four if you counted Kaiha, his favorites Toyotama and Ichiya included. Though it was a bit of a misnomer calling them favorites since he hated all Sekirei, he just happened to find those two the most useful.

The others he had simply unwinged and then created a copy of himself to speak with them. _That_ had been a nasty shock to see on the cameras. With that kind of ability Uzumaki could be everywhere at once.

"You know Higa, I really don't get you. Hot women that love you pretty much instantly and don't mind sharing and your best plan is to treat them like slaves and use them to get more money? Were you dropped as a baby?" Naruto asked, peering down at the rapidly reddening face of the corporate heir.

"That's all that the freaks are good for anyway." Higa spat angrily, his usual self control eroded.

"Oh so that's how it is." Naruto said as if in realisation. "Well then, I'm sure you won't mind if I use _you_ for the only thing you're good for."

Higa felt a block of ice drop into his stomach at the ominous words, which was quite impressive considering his inverted position.

"Have a nice flight." The horned menace said cheerfully and tossed him out of the window.

Higa's terrified scream was abruptly cut off as he was suddenly deposited into the Interdimensional Storage Locker.

Naruto chuckled to himself. As if the douche would get to die that easily, not when there were still plenty of Sekirei pissed off at him for what he did to them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kazehana was no stranger to unpleasant mornings, what with her drinking habit and all, but this morning was a different kind of unpleasant.

She was not hungover, having not drunk enough to get to that point and the multiple powerful orgasms had the side effect of burning off much of the booze that she did drink. Speaking of orgasms, she would have been perfectly content to lay there for at least another hour or two and enjoy the delicious soreness in her nether regions, if not for one thing.

Laying in a bed that was thoroughly soiled with stale oil and sweat was rather disgusting.

And so, she made her way to the bathroom with a put upon sigh, at least she could soak in the super sized bath for a long while.

"Damn, even the bathroom smells like sex." She muttered to herself and started filling the tub with hot water, deciding to quickly shower off the worst of the oil and sweat so that she could enjoy the bath.

Living in the lap of luxury at someone else's expense sure was nice. She was in fact rapidly rethinking her idea to stay with Miya for a while. For all the kindness that Miya had adopted from Takehito, she was still kind of a meanie and wouldn't support the kind of self indulgence that Naruto provided so freely. She really had to figure out what he was planning, because despite her generally flighty behavior, she was cynical enough to know that this wasn't likely to last forever.

Though she'd been cynical about his claims on sexual prowess too and that had turned out much different than expected.

"I wonder if he'll ever sleep with me again?" She murmured to herself, now submerged in the hot water. It had been amazing and she would be more than willing, but she wouldn't be surprised if it had been just a one time thing.

"I'll go visit...later." She decided, her sentence interrupted by a yawn. The damn bathtub was way more comfortable than something made of porcelain had any right to be and the very convenient spot designed to rest one's head and neck weren't helping.

Considering that the tub had a system that allowed one to continuously keep the water heated to a certain temperature, even the water cooling that would have eventually forced her to get up didn't happen, so she fell asleep again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Hours later._

"I'm telling you guys, Naruto _has_ to be doing something weird with those women." Naoki insisted.

"And you're basing this conclusion on what exactly?" Yuno asked scathingly.

Naoki looked like he really wanted to say something but was holding himself back.

"You know something." Shou accused with certainty.

"I'm not really supposed to talk about it." Naoki defended awkwardly.

"You've already blurted out this much, you might as well tell us the whole thing." Shou reasoned.

"Don't worry, " Yuno hastened to assure him. "we won't tell anyone else."

Looking distinctly uncomfortable under the expectant gazes of his friends, Naoki eventually caved and started talking. "One of the maids was cleaning the bathroom in one of those empty apartments that Naruto is paying for when she suddenly heard people talking in the bedroom."

Yuno and Shou nodded in understanding, knowing that the bedroom and bathroom were connected.

"Well, she was about to apologize and leave when she recognized Naruto's voice saying something about getting naked. She was too afraid and embarrassed to open the door after that and just hid in the bathroom."

Once again, the two listeners nodded, knowing all too well that most of the maids were a mixture of curious, afraid and sometimes aroused around Naruto, the latter mostly because of his exotic appearance.

"Apparently they started going at it soon after that and Mi...the maid heard the woman pleading for him to slow down a bit, but he wouldn't listen. She got worried and opened the door a little bit. She swore that she could see a blue-ish glow around Naruto's fingers and that his tongue extended."

"His tongue extended?" Yuno asked sceptically.

"I know!" Naoki asserted." I didn't believe it either, but she swore up and down that he licked the woman's nipples from like...half a meter away!"

"And the blue glow around his fingers?" Shou asked, wanting to get the conversation away from Naruto's anatomically impossible length tongue.

"No idea, but Mi...the maid said that it looked like it was driving the woman crazy."

"It was Midori wasn't it?" Yuno asked flatly.

"What makes you think that it would be her?" Naoki evaded nervously.

"Because she's the only maid that's enough of a shy pervert to stay in the bathroom and peep instead of revealing herself right away and I know that she's been daydreaming of getting 'ravaged' by Naruto more than once." Yuno explained, making quotation marks in the air when she said ravaged. "The little pervert was probably creaming herself the whole time."

Naoki shifted uncomfortably, distinctly remembering that Midori had indeed looked more than a little hot and bothered when she recounted the whole thing to him earlier, as if the mere memory of it had gotten her aroused.

"And you almost said her name twice now." Yuno added as a finishing touch.

"You really suck at keeping secrets man." Shou chimed in.

"Please don't tell Midori that I told you guys." Naoki pleaded. "I promised her that I wouldn't tell anyone."

The other two agreed easily enough, though not without some teasing.

"So...was this woman that he was sleeping with one of those that are around him all the time now or was she new?" Shou asked curiously.

"Midori said that she was new, but very recognizable. Tall, dark hair and the most massive chest she'd ever seen." Naoki explained.

Yuno rolled her eyes, as the last part of that description had applied to most of the women that Naruto was bringing up there at one point until another woman came along with a chest that was slightly bigger.

"We'll probably see her when we deliver breakfast today in any case." Yuno asserted, bringing the conversation to a close.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I never really understood the point of these mini bars before, but I think I get it now." Kazehana said in a tone of realisation after chugging a small bottle of whiskey. "It's strangely satisfying to empty these tiny bottles."

"You most definitely do _not_ get it." Xanna told her bluntly without even looking up from her book.

"I'm with Xanna on this one, you're missing the point of the mini bar entirely." Naruto chimed in.

The Wind Sekirei looked back at them, chugging another bottle as she did so.

Meeting Naruto's wife had been a bit of a tense affair, as she had almost instinctively expected the woman to be hostile to her for sleeping with her husband. The expected hostility had not materialised though.

Xanna had been...well it would be a lie to say that she had been pleasant, because she hadn't been and still wasn't, but she hadn't been outright hostile either. The Wind Sekirei didn't often find herself intimidated by another woman's physical beauty, but this had definitely been one such occassion. Kazehana was one of those Sekirei whose preferences leaned much more heavily towards men than was normal for Sekirei, but even she found herself being attracted to the horned woman. It hadn't been hard to see why it was so damnably hard to get Naruto flustered if this woman had been his primary source of female companionship for pretty much his whole life.

The attraction was entirely physical though, as Xanna's attitude was highly off putting to the Wind Sekirei. That constant sense of aloof superiority and arrogance that permeated damn near every word and gesture tended to leave most people feeling quite sour if they had to put up with it for too long.

She even spoke that way to Naruto, which had left Kazehana quite incredulous when she'd seen it the first time. How could he possibly put up with that for an extended length of time, much less love her so much?

It had taken her a few minutes to figure out that Xanna looked more amused than condescending when she spoke to him that way and Naruto clearly saw some sort of humor in it. After that it became obvious that it was a running inside joke between them from which she was excluded.

The only one that seemed to be exempt from that attitude was Akitsu, which was ironic, because the Ice Sekirei was likely among the only people that wouldn't mind it. The Sekirei in question currently had her head in Xanna's lap and seemed quite content to stay there and doze for as long as possible.

Kazehana might have found herself feeling intensely jealous of Akitsu if Xanna had been a more pleasant woman. As things stood, she was happy that the Ice Sekirei whose life had been full of misery seemed to have found some happiness. For someone like her, it was incredibly obvious that Akitsu was just as attached to them as if she had been winged. She wondered if they knew it or not.

"What is the point of a mini bar then?" She finally asked, shaking off her reminiscing.

"It is obviously a transparent ploy to get more money by putting alcohol in miniature bottles and charging exorbitant prices for it. An excellent display of human greed by hotel management and human stupidity by anyone fool enough to actually make use of it." Xanna explained idly.

"Way to take all the fun out of it." Kazehana muttered, feeling oddly insulted, but she perked up and continued quickly enough. "But I suppose it doesn't matter since I'm not the one paying for it."

"Neither are we." Naruto snickered, clearly amused.

"What do you mean?" Kazehana asked curiously. "Last I heard, you were paying for everything."

"Our power is capable of affecting technology, but it requires great delicacy and does us no good in any case as we do not have an in depth knowledge of the banking system that is used to pay for most things here. Instead of bothering to learn it, my devious husband decided to track down a few wealthy criminal organizations and threaten them into paying for everything." Xanna explained, giving an amused smirk towards a grinning Naruto. "They are probably frothing at the mouth at the expenses we are accumulating:"

"Wait, so you basically bullied them out of their lunch money?" Kazehana asked incredulously.

"Basically." Naruto admitted.

"I thought you were just using your godlike powers to conjure money out of thin air or something." She said with a shake of her head.

"I tried." He admitted again. "We both did, but at the moment we still haven't quite figured out how to manipulate computer data without frying the computer."

"That's...kind of reassuring." Kazehana admitted, having been somewhat intimidated by the idea that they really could do anything.

"Don't get too comfortable, we'll figure it out eventually." Naruto advised.

"Indeed, the nature of our powers merely makes it simpler to manipulate things with few parts, such as solid matter, space-time and other such things as opposed to technology, which has many components working together to create virtual information." Xanna added.

"But what about actual paper money? I've seen you pulling it out of nowhere." Kazehana continued with her questioning.

"Yeah, we can make the bills easily enough, but the damn things have so many small traps to detect counterfeiting that we couldn't be bothered, so anytime we need paper money, we just summon it right out of a bank vault." Naruto admitted wryly.

Before Kazehana could comment on their methods, the conversation was interrupted by the repeated 'schink' sound of a sword being half drawn and slammed back into its sheath, accompanied by a frustrated growl from the pacing Karasuba.

"Why are we just sitting around here, having this stupid conversation? You said that we'd get to kill those damn MBi adjustors already, and that asshole Higa."

"And we will Little Crow, we're just waiting for Uzume to show up. I did promise her that I'd call her once Higa's turn came up." Naruto assured calmly, not at all intimidated by her antics. Everyone else bar Kazehana, Akitsu and Xanna _were_ intimidated by her almost rabid prowling though and had evacuated to another room.

"She better show up soon." The Black Sekirei muttered.

The words proved prophetic, as Uzume walked through the door no more than a couple of minutes later and then blinked owlishly at the Wind Sekirei. She wasn't surprised by Karasuba since Naruto had warned her that the Black Sekirei would be present and she trusted him when he said that it was safe, but Kazehana was unexpected.

"Kazehana? What are you doing here?" She asked quizzically.

"Drinking." Kazehana answered cheerfully, raising another tiny booze bottle in salute.

Uzume stared oddly at her fellow Sekirei for a few seconds, clearly puzzling something out and then a grin bloomed on her face as she turned to Naruto. "You boinked her didn't you big bro?"

"Mounted her like a mule." Naruto agreed.

"Did the no pants dance." Uzume countered.

"Fed the kitty."

"Swept the chimney."

"Checked the oil."

"Tested the suspension."

"Filled the cream donut."

"Made the beast with two backs."

"Stuffed the beaver."

"Did the horizontal hula."

"Attacked the pink fortress."

"Lusted and thrusted."

"Gave her a hot beef injection."

Uzume opened her mouth to continue but couldn't come up with anymore euphemisms. "Okay, you win."

"That's what she said."

Uzume snickered at the final joke, as well as Kazehana's red face. You didn't get to see the playful Wind Sekirei embarrassed often and that made it all the more funny.

"Meanies." Kazehana pouted.

Karasuba rolled her eyes and decided to butt in or else Naruto might stay there cracking bad sex jokes for the next few hours. "Lets go already."

"It's just going to be us, Beni, Haihane and Sai, since the others don't really want to see people die horribly and Akitsu seems to have fallen asleep on us." He said.

"I won't be joining you either, these days I prefer to avoid bloodshed if I can avoid it." Kazehana said, emptying another bottle.

"Suit yourself." Naruto shrugged. "Feel free to stick around if you want and empty the rest of the mini bar."

Their plans were disrupted by a knock on the door and a cheerful call of 'room service'.

"Come in!" Naruto called rather loudly, unintentionally waking up Akitsu.

While the three bellhops rolled in breakfast, the Ice Sekirei rubbed at her eyes and groaned quietly. "Ah...sleepy."

"Sorry Akitsu, I didn't mean to wake you." Naruto apologized. He knew that Akitsu didn't get enough sleep at night, so it was no wonder that she was so tired now.

She mumbled something to the effect of it being okay and was well on her way back to unconsciousness by the time the next person spoke.

"Damn bro, what have you been doing to her?" Uzume asked, actually rather impressed.

"Well, I was teasing her a bit and asking how many orgasms in a row she can take, and she said that she can take as many as we were willing to give her."

"And how many was that?" Kazehana asked, morbidly curious. She had been too tired to keep going after two...though each of those two might have actually been multiple simultaneous ones considering their strength.

"I think it was twenty six." Naruto admitted.

"Twety seven." Xanna corrected.

"Twenty seven?!" Came the incredulous exclamation from Uzume, Kazehana and even the bellhops who still hadn't left. Karasuba simply huffed impatiently at the fact that they _still _hadn't gotten to watching people die. She didn't really believe that it would be all that much fun, but Naruto had promised her a fight after it was over, which was what she was _really _after.

"How the hell did you manage that many?" Uzume squawked, having vague and very dirty ideas about talking Chiho into a threesome or even a foursome.

Instead of answering, Naruto simply extended his tongue and waggled it at her in a wavy manner before snapping it back into his mouth with a cartoonishly audible 'snap'. "My favorite technique, it's amazing what you can do to a woman with a prehensile, extra long tongue. Especially if there are _two _tongues at work."

The sentence was finished with a leer at Xanna, who gave a slight grin and shot her own tongue out to give Uzume's face a quick lick from a distance, knowing exactly what was going through her head. There wasn't even any mind reading required, as both she and Naruto could quite easily smell her arousal.

"She was most insistent that she could keep going even when she was barely clinging to consciousness." Xanna added while petting Akitsu's head in her lap.

Uzume bit her lip and pressed her thighs together in a vain effort to calm down the fire between her legs even as she wiped her cheek. She loved Chiho completely, but damn did she want to experience that. She promised herself that she was going to be having that conversation with her sweetheart as soon as possible. It would probably involve a lot of wheedling and cajoling, but Chiho shouldn't be too dead set against it. Naruto _had_ saved her life and gave them the opportunity to be together after all. Even if Chiho was firmly on the all girls team, she probably wouldn't object _too_ much,right? Right.

At least, that's what she hoped.

"Why do you keep seducing the women that I was intending to take as little sisters? I'm starting to think that you've got a thing for incestuous relationships my dear." Naruto teased his wife, seeing Uzume's extremely obvious arousal.

"You have no ground to stand on with that statement husband." She rebuffed with a smirk. "Was it not you who groped your own mother's ass the first time you saw her?"

The statement snapped Uzume back to her senses and she looked at the horned blond very oddly, along with everyone else.

"I am surprised at you Naruto-kun." Kazehana finally said, very much unsure of what to think.

"Bro..." Uzume simply trailed off, at a loss to find the words for a proper resonse.

"No way..." The bellhops chorused. "How did you even..."

Even Karasuba was interested in seeing how this would play out, which said a lot considering that she usually didn't give a damn about anything other than a good fight.

"Well, she was a zombie at the time..." He trailed off, realising that that wouldn't help.

"And that somehow makes it better?" Xanna asked archly, eyebrow raised.

"You set me up." Naruto accused. "You've just been waiting for me to say something about incest so that you could use that."

"Who says that I am finished?" She retorted with a predatory smirk.

Naruto wracked his mind for any other incident in the past that could be construed as incest which she could use as ammunition right now, but came up blank. He _had_ teased Sakura about sleeping with her, but that was the furthest it had ever gotten and therefore didn't count, not to mention that they weren't even related.

"You're bluffing." He asserted after a few seconds of silence.

"Am I?" She countered, smirk widening.

Naruto narrowed his eyes at her in an attempt to figure out what she was playing at, but could discover nothing. Her face showed only the certainty of a predator going in for the kill and her mind was an impenetrable wall.

"Yes." He said firmly, calling her bluff.

The heads of the spectators was at this point jumping from one to the other as if they were watching a tennis match, eagerly waiting to see how it would unfold.

"Well then, I am sure that it will not surprise you to know that you called _me_ mother long before you called me wife."

Naruto's jaw dropped and he stared at her for a long few seconds, trying to process this and remember when that might have happened.

Without warning several of her memories slammed into his head, memories of playing with her tails as a child and knowing with absolute certainty that she was his mother.

"You were quite persistent about calling me that, even when I told you not to." She said, with the accompanying memories reinforcing the words.

Xanna hadn't originally intended to ever tell him about that time, but had since changed her mind. It was a long time ago after all, and it wasn't as if it would change anything.

After the initial shock had passed, a small grin formed on his face. They were happy memories and he was glad to have them. Additionally, he had to admit that Xanna had gotten him good this time, but he wasn't going to ler her victory be absolute. He would definitely not be placed into speechlessness over something like that.

The spectators watched Naruto tensely as he lowered his head, not knowing how he would react to such an earth shaking revelation.

They all face planted when he surged to his feet, planted one foot on the coffee table and made the sign of the horns with one hand raised in the air, along with a victorious exclamation. "YES! I'm an even bigger pervert than I thought!"

Xanna had expected something loud and prevented Akitsu from hearing it, but the other Sekirei in the penthouse heard it loud and clear.

"Onii-chan, what's a pervert?" Kusano asked inquisitively, drawn by the loud noise.

"I'm a pervert Kuu-chan." He answered instantly. "The biggest pervert you'll ever see."

"Can I be a pervert too?" The little girl asked excitedly, having no idea what a pervert actually was, only knowing that it _had_ to be fun if her Onii-chan was this animated about it.

"Of course you can sweetie, but you'll have to wait a while."

"Muuu, but I want to be a pervert now!" The little girl said insistently, much to the instinctive horror of every adult that was at least vaguely normal.

"Sorry Kuu-chan, but this is one of those adult things. Same as why you can't just rush into mine and Xanna's room without knocking and stuff like that, okay?."

"'Kay." Kusano said sulkily, feeling left out of the fun, but she had promised to listen when he said that something was only for adults.

"Don't be sad cutie, how about we watch a cartoon together while we have breakfast?" He offered.

"Okay!"

"I thought we were going to go see a bunch of people die fighting against monsters?" Karasuba growled angrily. There was only so much of this cutesy crap that she could tolerate in a day and she was most definitely not in the mood to wait much longer, even if the little incest bomb had been funny.

"Keep your panties on Little Crow, it's not like I can't do both at the same time." Naruto chided and made a few clones to handle things, such as putting Akitsu to bed and cuddling her, watching cartoons with Kusano and anything else that the others might need. "Or you know...don't, you can give them to me if you want to."

The Black Sekirei simply rolled her eyes, more than used to his off handed perversions by now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

No more than a few minutes later, the three bellhops found themselves standing in the hallway in a state of immense confusion. They had pretty much been background decoration during that 'conversation', but they had heard a lot of weird stuff.

There was only one particular thought going through their minds at that moment.

_What the fuck?_

"His tongue extended." Yuno stated flatly, deliberately focusing on what had not long ago seemed so incredibly weird and yet now ended up being positively mundane in comparison to the rest.

"Yeah..." Her compatriots said absently, clearly not sure what to think.

"I...have no idea what the hell is going on." Shou finally admitted.

"And he can clone himself at will, without the use of any kind of machinery." Yuno continued in the same flat tone.

"Better not tell that to Midori." Naoki muttered. "Or that he and his wife gave that Akitsu woman twenty seven orgasms in a row."

Shou snickered at that, slowly getting over his shock and taking a philosophical approach. "Ah well, it's not like we didn't know that they weren't normal."

The other two nodded slowly, also overcoming their shock.

"But seriously...groping his zombified mother? There are so many things wrong with that that I don't even know where to start." Yuno said.

"You're not the only one." Naoki muttered, mostly to himself.

"And didn't that scary woman with the sword also say something about watching people die fighting monsters?" Yuno asked with a frown.

"Yeah, but it's weird." Shou commented. "He's so nice to that kid and then he pulls something like that."

"You think we should call the cops?" Naoki asked, clearly dubious about that course of action.

"I get the feeling that it won't do any good." Shou said with Yuno nodding along.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Those three are so cute." Naruto chuckled. "Always trying to figure out what's going on."

"They disappoint me." Xanna said with a frown. "I thought they would do something."

"They're just ordinary people, so you can hardly blame them." He responded with a shrug.

"I suppose." She agreed with a sigh. "Well, time to get on with the fun then."

A large number of people made noises of 'oof', some screaming and similar vocalization as they fell on the stone floor. Following those noises was confused conversation as people tried to ascertain what the hell had just happened.

A clapping sound drew their attention and shut them up. They looked up and saw that the clapping originated from a balcony on which a horned man that all of them were at least aware of if they hadn't already encountered him was sitting. Also sitting with him were a similarly horned woman and several Sekirei, the entirety of the now disbanded Disciplinary Squad most notably.

"Ladies and gentlemen, you are here because you have been selected to participate in this exciting once in a lifetime adventure."

"But I didn't apply to anything." A nondescript looking man protested.

"I don't recall saying anything about anyone applying." Naruto said pointedly. "But to elaborate so that the uncertainty doesn't torment you too badly, you're here mostly because I _really_ don't like you."

He gestured towards the Sekirei sitting in a line to his left. "All of you have, in one way or another, contributed to making the lives of these and other girls miserable. Some of you because you eagerly exploited Minaka's lunacy or in the case of Akitsu, his approval, to perform painful, demeaning and dangerous experiments on them."

As he continued speaking, his gaze shifted away from the suddenly nervous group of scientists towards Higa and Kakizaki. "Some of you because you heartlessly exploited their need for help in order to force them to do your bidding or winged them forcibly."

The two men in question showed no reaction beyond a cool look that showed no remorse. The effect was somewhat ruined as they had both appeared screaming like little girls, but they were trying really hard to seem unruffled.

"Or in the case of your two female companions, because they were insecure, jealous bitches that couldn't resist the temptation of getting some revenge on them for daring to be more beautiful than they were, as well as the other reasons." The last was said with a gesture towards the two women, who, while not hideously ugly, were definitely not anywhere close to equaling the bodies and faces of pretty much any Sekirei, even the ones who were quite flat.

"But we didn't even work on any of those Sekirei." One of the women protested as she looked over the gathered Sekirei.

"That's besides the point." Naruto dismissed.

"And what exactly, do you intend to do with us?" Higa asked codly.

"You will be run through a gauntlet of life threatening challenges and released should you manage to survive." Xanna answered in Naruto's place, smirking. Not that the chances of actually surviving were anywhere close to realistic.

"Now I know what you're thinking;" Naruto picked up before anyone could get a word in. " 'They can't do this!', 'But they're just Sekirei!', 'That's barbaric!', 'The punishment is too harsh for the crime!', 'How is it possible for any man to be that sexy?', 'Who is that babe with the horns?'."

Everyone looked rather unsure of themselves, as that had indeed been many of their thoughts, except the last two, which Naruto had made up himself. But it did get him an amused smile from Xanna, which had been the whole point.

"To answer in order; yes we can, well fuck you too, yes it is barbaric but it's also fun, do we look like we care?, fuck you that's how and finally, she's my wife and she's better than you." He listed out, getting another smile from Xanna as she placed her hand in his.

She picked up the narrative as another man dropped into the room with an 'oof' sound of his own. "This fool will be your guide as he has already gone through it once and survived. He finds himself here once again because I found his previous insolence particularly offensive."

"I'm back here again?" Minaka said, his tone somewhere between horror and elation. Horror because the last time had been far from pleasant and elation because he might yet get Amaterasu-chan back. He certainly hadn't been having any luck rebuilding her in his lab.

"Be grateful that you are being allowed weapons right from the start this time." She added in a tone that stated that they should indeed be grateful. Weapon racks containing a variety of melee implements appeared on the walls as she finished speaking.

"We will not play your games and I will most certainly not listen to _him_." Higa hissed, staring at the recently appeared Minaka, who was already grabbing weapons.

"If you wish to experience a messy death right away, then feel free to stand still and die." She replied dismissively, punctuated by the clang of steel on steel.

Everyone spun around towards the source of the noise and were left staring wide eyed as they saw a walking skeleton banging on the bars of a heavy portcullis with a steel mace.

Several moments of stunned silence passed before one of the male scientists started speaking in a flat tone that indicated he was trying to deny reality. "That's impossible. A skeleton only acts as support for the body, it can't move without muscle."

"Normally you'd be right." Naruto agreed. "But this is our world and in this world, if we decide that the Sun is going to be triangular, then the Sun is going to be motherfucking triangular."

There were a few seconds of silence and then a sudden storm of protests as it finally penetrated their minds that they were being held captive by a madman.

"Enough!" Xanna's voice cut through the noise like a blade and silenced them. "You have committed actions that have earned you the anger of my husband, there will be no appeal. Your only hope of survival is beating the odds. The portcullis will open in fifteen minutes, I suggest you spend them wisely."

After a moment of stunned silence, they all scrambled towards the weapon racks, grabbing everything that looked fairly easy to use and wasn't too heavy. Somehow they knew just from the horned woman's tone of voice that arguing would be worse than pointless. Even Higa and Kakizaki were grudgingly forced to grab weapons as survival instinct forced their pride to bend.

There were also shields on the racks, which nearly everyone took. Of course, the process of arming themselves was anything but smooth and much of their fifteen minutes was wasted by squabbling.

"We can't all take spears!" Minaka was protesting. "Everyone knows that skeletons are almost immune to piercing damage!"

"This isn't a video game Minaka-sama, if we stab them in the head or pelvis it should be just as good as smashing it with a mace and it will be much safer." One of the adjustors protested.

"And you have so much skill with a spear that you think you can hit it just right?" Another one scoffed, trading his spear for a flanged mace and giving it a few test swings. He grimaced when he realised that it was much heavier than it looked and was certain to throw him off balance quite badly if he missed.

"Well no, but I've got even less skill with a mace and I get the feeling that a few walking skeletons will be the least of our worries in here." The first man admitted.

"Take a halberd, it has plenty of reach, needs minimal skill and does good impact damage as well being able to cut." Minaka advised.

"Keep your advice to yourself Minaka." Higa hissed. "I suspect we are all in this mess because of you in the first place."

Minaka shook his head and replied. "It matters little now Higa-kun, we will need to work together if we are to survive."

"I will _never_ work together with _you_!" The corporate heir hissed again, his hatred of Minaka plain for all to see.

"Suit yourself Higa-kun, but be warned that things will get more dangerous with time."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Meanwhile on the observation balcony._

"Already practicing for your coming position as Empress?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well it _has_ been a while and since I doubt that _you_ will act with the regality required of the position of Emperor, I will have to compensate."

"Hey, I can totally be regal." Naruto protested.

Xanna sighed and gave him a look. "Emperors do not say 'totally'."

"She's totally got you there bro." Uzume snickered.

"Oh har de har har." Naruto laughed sarcastically. "What kind of Emperor am I supposed to be if I can't even talk however I damn well please?"

"Rulers must project a certain image if they wish to lead effectively. An Emperor that is a joke to his people cannot lead." Xanna lectured.

She failed to mention that she suspected that the overly charismatic idiot she had married would somehow manage to project authority even when acting like a fool.

"Okay I get it, but can we please not ruin the fun with lessons on proper dictatorship?" He huffed. "I'm already dreading the next several centuries enough that I don't want to start them any earlier than necessary."

Xanna gave his hand a squeeze. " I think you will find that it isn't as bad as you think. It will be slow at first yes, but the years will pass quickly as our work continues."

"Easy for you to say." He muttered. "You're actually looking forward to it."

Xanna looked over him with an eyebrow arched. "Now you are just fishing for sympathy."

"Maybe." He admitted.

Xanna merged their separate thrones into a single large one and pulled his head into her breasts. "There there beloved, it will be alright." Her tone was very, very patronizing.

A grin pulled at Naruto's lips as he buried his nose into the most spectacular pair of breasts in existence. In short order, Xanna was sitting in his lap and he was feeling _much_ better about the idea of being Emperor. As long as they were together, how bad could it possibly be anyway?

"You really think it's not going to be boring?" He asked and nibbled on her ear.

"Not at all, building an Empire from the ground up is a lot of work and it will only get harder once we begin conquering the rest of the galaxy." She answered with a murmur and leaned her head to the side to expose her neck to him.

"When did we decide that we're going to conquer the rest of the galaxy?" He asked distractedly as he eagerly scraped his teeth over the sweet spot on her neck.

Xanna let out a rumbling purr and ground her backside over the erection that was already pressing up against it. "I decided on it a short while ago."

"Might as well, I guess." Naruto agreed in a tone that really should not be used when deciding on things such as planning your day, much less conquering a galaxy. Then again, his nose was currently flooded with the scent of her arousal and he was not inclined to care about too much else.

"Oi, can you two horndogs _please_ not go at it right here? The show's about to start." Haihane interrupted.

"Seconded!" Benitsubasa piped up.

"I suppose they have a point, there will be time for that later and I actually do want to see this." Xanna said, though not without some reluctance.

With much greater reluctance, Naruto navigated his hands away from where they had wandered beneath her clothing and situated them around her waist. He wasn't letting her get off his lap though.

"This still seems pretty stupid to me." Sai huffed, upset that she couldn't punch Higa's lights out herself. "We should've just killed them."

Karasuba agreed, but stayed silent. At the very least it was an interesting idea and she had to admit that there was a dark amusement in seeing them wander around like rats in a maze.

"That would be quite dull." Xanna pointed out.

"But you even gave them a chance to get away, what if they survive? Are you going to just let them go?" She argued.

"Yes." Xanna admitted without concern.

"But if they make it, they'll be getting away without paying for what they did!" Sai insisted.

"Well sweetie, anything is possible, " Naruto answered her with a grin. "but it is not very likely."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The group of scientists had by now managed to get a hold on themselves for the most part. The first few encounters with various undead enemies had badly rattled their composture and one of the two women had died from a trap that shot an arrow out of the wall, which had certainly not helped to calm them down.

But eventually, the need to survive had allowed them to push down their fear and continue. Aside from Minaka, only the other woman had any experience with weapons and that was with a bow, but they eventually managed to organise themselves so that the occasional enemy encounter was dealt with with a minimum of difficulty.

Minaka's prior experience did not end up being useful in the sense of giving direction, as the dungeon was clearly different. Whereas it had been a claustrophobic labyrinth before, now it was more along the lines of a castle and the path frequently took them outside as well as into its bowels.

"What did the exit look like when you were here last Minaka-sama?" The surviving woman asked in a hushed whisper.

"It was on top of a great cliff, but I had the good fortune of being randomly teleported on top of it." Minaka answered, keeping an eye out for a Die of Power. They had managed so far, but he had no doubt that Amaterasu-chan would be needed if they wanted to escape.

"And how exactly did you get teleported onto a cliff?" Higa hissed.

Predictably, his temper had been fraying constantly because Minaka had automatically assumed a leadership position. That it might have been because most of the people present were his employees did not really register to him.

Kakizaki was only barely managing to convince his boss that wandering off on their own could prove quite fatal.

"I rolled a ten." Minaka answered absently, walking carefully around a corner with his spear extended in front of him in case there were beasties lurking in ambush.

"What the hell does that mean?" Higa demanded, but Minaka did not hear him.

The reason for this was because he saw what he had been looking for. Sitting innocently on an ornate dais in a dead end was a twenty sided die.

Overcome with the compulsion to roll it and hope for eighteen, Minaka ignored all further questions, grabbed the Die of Power and tossed it without hesitation.

**6**

**Ogre!**

An angry bellow resounded, followed by the pounding footsteps of some heavy beast.

"What did you do?!" The surviving woman shrieked.

"I rolled poorly." Minaka answered and started snapping out orders. "Retreat back to the courtyard we passed earlier, we will need room to fight it."

Not even Higa protested, though he seethed quietly.

They made it just in time to see the lumbering creature crash into the courtyard from the other side and roar at them in challenge.

It was an ugly thing with greyish skin and a somewhat distended stomach that made it look fat. That initial impression was belied by its powerfully muscled limbs. Saliva poured from its sharp but blocky teeth in thick rivulets and there was nothing in its eyes except for bestial rage. It was rather intimidating to look at because it was at least twice as big as the biggest of them in all directions.

"Spread out and try to keep it in the middle, don't let yourselves be cornered and don't try to block its attacks with your shields." Minaka advised.

The scientists tried to obey, but several ended up getting in each other's way. The Ogre wasn't in a very patient mood and randomly charged at two of them who were trying to figure out how to position themselves.

Its roar warned them of its intent, but it was too late. The younger of the two scientists threw himself away desperately while the older froze in fear and ended up pulverized .

"Attack it now!" Minaka cried out and stabbed his spear towards the beast. He only managed one thrust before at its thigh before feeling that it was time to back off again.

Unfortunately, the panicking scientists were too frightened to notice this and did as he had commanded, but only after the opportunity was already lost, stabbing their own polearms at it. The creatures thick hide acted almost like armor and prevented their clumsy attack from doing any real damage, as well as giving the Ogre plenty of time to bring one of its arms around in a backhand that sent another man flying across the courtyard with a broken neck.

"Shoot it!" Higa yelled at the woman with the bow, trying to hide somewhere so that the Ogre wouldn't charge him next.

"I'm trying!" She snapped back, having extreme difficulty firing the bow with her shaking hands. The High School archery club had been a long time ago and there had been no monsters trying to kill her at the time.

Higa's plan to have the woman draw attention to herself by firing at it backfired when it was instead drawn to his shout and charged at him with another roar.

With a frightened yelp, the corporate heir sprinted towards another of the male scientists, brushing past him with enough speed that the older man was knocked down. He looked up from the ground just in time to let out a scream as he saw the Ogre stomping towards him before he was trampled.

Higa breathed a sigh of relief when he managed to dodge and the Ogre crashed into another wall.

This time around, Minaka was not alone in attacking the creature's back. While the MBI president stabbed his spear at the back of its knee, the largest and by default the strongest man there swung the axe he'd taken at the other knee.

While Minaka's spear thrust did little against its thick skin, the axe blow was a lot more effective. Even though the man had been aiming at the back of its knee the same as Minaka, he missed and accidentally struck lower, hamstringing it.

They both quickly retreated before it could retaliate and claim another victim.

The now much slower Ogre turned out to be much less of a threat as well since it could no longer charge effectively. It still tried of course, but it was slow, predictable and easily dodged.

They finished it off by baiting it into another charge while two men swung their halberds at its exposed belly, causing a pile of steaming, stinking intestines to spill out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Okay, I'll admit that that was kind of fun to watch." Sai commented.

"What a bunch of bumbling morons, three of them dying because of that stupid thing." Karasuba snorted.

"Yeah, it was pretty one dimensional with its attacks." Haihane agreed.

"We figured that they'd all die if we made it any smarter than that." Naruto admitted.

"We appear to have been correct in that assessment." Xanna added.

They lapsed into silence as they watched the shaken group get their wits about them after their victory and step away from the stinking carcass.

"What are they doing now?" Benitsubasa asked bemusedly, not really expecting an answer since it was pretty obvious.

"What humans seem to do best, attempting to place blame." Xanna answered anyway.

Nothing further was said as they observed the argument. It was basically everyone blaming everyone else for getting their three compatriots killed.

Higa was blaming Minaka for rolling the Die of Power, with Kakizaki backing him up.

The others were blaming Higa for getting the third man killed.

Several people were also blaming Minaka for ordering them to attack and getting the second man killed, but this was tempered by the fact that he'd given actual good advice during the fight and had contributed to finishing it.

There was also some minor blame going around for everyone else for their poor performance during the battle. Some of the men felt guilty for being useless and the woman outright burst into hysterics from the stress, though she did manage to get herself together fairly quickly.

"Looks like they might be at it for a while." Haihane commented with a sigh, slumping in her chair boredly.

"Lets help them get a move on then." Naruto said and waved his hand towards the Sekirei, causing a holographic screen to pop up in front of them.

"What's this?" Uzume asked curiously, inspecting the array of icons on the screen.

"Think of it as a limited ability to affect this world." He explained. "Push one of those buttons to draw on my power and make a change."

The Sekirei looked at each other with grins and inspected the buttons eagerly, trying to decide what to do.

**Skeletons spawned due to group inactivity!**

Everyone looked towards Haihane at the announcement, who had apparently already decided to push a button.

"What?" She asked defensively. "I wanted to get them moving."

**Deadline activated!**

**In fifteen tolls of the bell, the Minotaur will come to slay you.**

The second announcement had everyone looking towards Uzume, who raised her hands away from her screen and gave a weak defense. "I thought it looked interesting."

"Oh it is, but the Minotaur will be both stronger and faster than the Ogre, as well as armed with a massive two handed battle axe. They will stand no chance against it with their current weapons." Xanna explained.

"I wonder if any of them will clue on to the fact that they can block the summoning if they prevent the bell from ringing." Naruto snickered.

"Hey, I can't push any of the buttons." Sai complained, echoed by Benitsubasa.

"Well, we can't have you swamping them with too many enemies right away." Naruto explained with a grin.

The two girls huffed in disappointment and decided to keep careful watch to make sure that they got to pick next.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"We have to find the bell and stop it from ringing." Minaka stated with authority.

"That's stupid! Why would stopping the bell stop the Minotaur from coming after us." Higa scoffed disdainfully.

"Simple logic." Minaka insisted.

"I am _not_ climbing all the way up to that bell tower on some wild goose chase that will end with us trapped when that thing shows up! Stopping the bell doesn't even make sense, it just lets us tell how much time we have."

"It is possible that he is correct Higa-sama." Kakizaki inserted. "This entire place doesn't make any sense to begin with."

"Shut up Kakizaki." Higa snapped, angry that even his secretary was agreeing with Minaka and his composture badly frayed due to stress.

Kakizaki looked back at his boss for a moment before backing down, unwilling to argue the point any further. Minaka might be right, but he could also be wrong and both were irrelevant. He and Higa would be better served if they stuck with the group and the group was more likely to follow Minaka than them.

In any case, they were still together for now and had been able to fight their way out of the attack by the skeletons without incurring any further casualties.

It did not take long for more argument to erupt from the group as they came upon another Die of Power, which Minaka once again hastened to grab and roll.

**9**

**Zombies!**

The attack by the slow, lumbering and not particularly threatening undead was intersped with much cursing and yelling.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You didn't _really_ put Minaka in there as a guide did you?" Uzume asked suspiciously. "You put him in there because you knew he'd keep rolling that Die at every opportunity until he got what he wanted."

"Maybe." Naruto said noncommittaly, though his grin betrayed him.

"We also put him in there because we knew it would cause tension between him and Higa." Xanna elaborated.

"Looks like they're going to split up." Benitsubasa commented.

"People that go off alone _always_ get slaughtered first in every game or movie." Haihane snickered.

"Clearly, Higa doesn't watch a lot of movies or play enough games." Naruto said in agreement.

**Giant spider spawn, beware of ambush!**

All eyes turned towards a smug looking Karasuba, who had been paying attention to when another monster spawn would become available instead of talking.

"No fair, I thought you didn't even care about this." Benitsubasa pouted, upset that she didn't get to do it.

"I don't, but that one looked fun."

Sai and Benitsubasa huffed at being beaten to it, but turned their attention back to what was happening.

Higa and Kakizaki had indeed gone off on their own, not wanting to deal with Minaka's compulsive rolling anymore, especially as the MBI founder refused to explain why it was so imperative that he continue rolling.

Much to their dismay however, none of the others wanted to go with them despite that. They were still quite sour and distrustful of him for the way that he had gotten one of them killed, along with his obvious hostility towards all things MBI.

Higa and Kakizaki's independece ended up being quite short lived, as they blundered into the previously spawned spider ambush no more than fifteen minutes later. Their deaths were particularly grisly as the oversized arachnids surrounded them and tore them apart, the two men unable to effectively defend themselves due to lack of manpower and proper weaponry.

Despite hating them the most out of all those present, Uzume and Sai blanched and paled at the sight, being unused to that kind of ugly death.

The other three Sekirei had no such problems, having been inured to it before their final inclusion into the Disciplinary squad, or in the case of Karasuba, having long since lost any sense of squeamishness.

"You girls alright?" Naruto asked with some concern, wondering if he'd made a mistake bringing them in on this.

"Uh...yeah, sure." Sai answered faintly, swallowing down her discomfort.

"You want to get out of here?" He offered.

Uzume and Sai exchanged glances before nodding. At first it had seemed like poetic justice to have Higa, Kakizaki and those scientists blundering around in some sick survival game just like they'd been forced to do, but now it just seemed cruel.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Sorry Naruto, I didn't think it would bother us that much." Uzume spoke for both herself and Sai.

"No big deal, I hear it's actually pretty normal to be bothered by something like that." He brushed off with a grin. "You wanna go watch cartoons with me and Kuu-chan?"

"Maybe for a while, then I really should be getting back to Chiho." Uzume agreed and then frowned. "But aren't you going back to finish watching their dungeon run?"

"But I never stopped watching it." Naruto answered in amusement.

Sai and Uzume frowned in confusion for a moment before figuring it out. "Right, clones."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Meanwhile..._

"You _have_ to let me roll it!" Minaka insisted fervently, trying get to the Die of Power they had just found. Unfortunately for him, the other scientists were pointing their weapons at him suspiciously, not wanting another repeat of the Ogre incident.

"Why?!" One of them demanded impatiently. Minaka might be the most capable of keeping a cool head and he had led well so far, but his scattered and pointlessly enigmatic behavior did not exactly inspire trust. "We only have six tolls of the bell left before the Minotaur shows up and we don't have time to deal with any extra monsters. The ones we run into on the way are bad enough as it is."

Minaka huffed and decided that he would need to explain himself for a change. "The Die has helpful effects if a roll higher than ten is made, we've simply been unlucky with the rolls thus far. I don't believe that we can fight the Minotaur with our current weapons, so it is imperative that we get something better before it shows up."

He neglected to mention that his _real _reason for wanting to roll so desperately was his desire to get Amaterasu-chan back.

The others exchanged looks and decided that in light of this new information, rolling the Die of Power was an acceptable risk. Especially considering the fact that they'd heard the obviously painful deaths of Higa and Kakizaki at the many legs of the giant spiders. They had all very pointedly gone the other way after hearing that.

**13**

**Guns!**

Everyone except Minaka cheered at the appearance of all sorts of firearms, while the MBI president simply looked disappointed that he hadn't rolled eighteen.

"What should we take?" One of them asked quizzically, not really knowing anything about modern weaponry except for what he'd seen in the movies.

"Shotguns and high calibre pistols, automatic weapons will go through their ammunition too quickly." Minaka answered, his tone ever so slightly sad. "Someone should still take an assault rifle though, just in case."

The others didn't really notice his tone in their haste to equip themselves with guns and figure out how exactly they worked.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"That lunatic has luck almost as good as yours husband." Xanna sighed.

"I know, it's uncanny." Naruto agreed.

"What'd you mean?" Haihane asked curiously.

"Now that they are armed with guns, they have a good chance to defeat the Minotaur without casualties, if they position themselves wisely." Xanna explained.

"Which they look like they're going to do, since Minaka is being pretty smart about it. They even took a good selection of weapons." Naruto added.

"What's so good about what they took?" Benitsubasa asked in confusion. All guns seemed similarly useless to her.

"The shotguns aren't going to be too much use agains the Minotaur, since they'd need to be almost in range of its axe for them to do any damage, the others will be more useful though. Both the pistols and the assault rifle have enough range and stopping power to do some serious damage to it." Naruto explained.

"You seem to know a lot about guns." Haihane commented idly.

"What can I say? Even I'm not immune to the allure of a weapon that makes loud banging noises." Naruto shrugged. "Even if they are kind of underwhelming in comparison to all the other stuff I can do."

"It is times like this that I am reminded that despite everything, you are still young and childish." Xanna jibed.

"You know you like it." Naruto countered and nibbled on her neck again.

"I never said I didn't." She retorted and deliberately rubbed her posterior against his crotch.

Haihane rolled her eyes as the two of them were clearly going towards sex again. Seeking a way to interrupt it, her eyes gleamed when she saw that the monster spawn option was available again.

**Zombie wolf pack spawn!**

Naruto and Xanna looked over when they heard the announcement and looked on with interest to see what would happen, their thoughts derailed away from sex for the moment.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The reason that the horny pair of gods had gotten distracted by their libidos was due to the goings on in the dungeon. Namely, they had forted down on a corner of the castle wall that could only be accessed from two sides and both sides had a long staircase leading up to it. Their intention was to wait for the Minotaur to come(which would happen at the next bell toll), shoot everything they had at it and hope for the best.

"I still think it would have been wiser to make for the bell tower before our time runs out." Minaka said somewhat sulkily, having been outvoted on a course of action.

"I know Minaka-sama, but our time is almost out and there was no guarantee that it would even work to stop the Minotaur from being spawned. You said yourself that this was the most defensible position we've been able to find so far, so we might as well wait for it to arrive and get rid of it." One of the others argued.

Minaka had to concede that all of that was true, but it didn't change the fact that he still thought it was a bad idea. Thus far, every time that they had stopped in an area for an extended length of time, trouble had soon followed.

**Zombie wolf pack spawn!**

Before so much as a curse word could spew from anyone there, the bell rung for the fifteenth time, followed immediately by a loud roar in the distance.

"I knew this was a bad idea." Minaka said in resignation.

Left with nothing else to do except fight, the group readied their guns and prepared for the attack.

"They're coming from this side!" The only woman in the group called frantically, hoping to get some backup. There were only eight of them left and she'd feel much better if there were eight guns being pointed at the approaching pack of zombie wolves instead of four.

"They're over here too!" Another man yelled from the other side.

For a short time there was nothing to be heard except the sound of shotguns firing as they struggled to keep the undead wolf pack away from them. To their credit, their choice of location for making a stand was actually quite good. The narrow walkways made it very hard to miss with the shotguns and the wolves were far from sturdy. Added to that, the staircases gave them the high ground advantage.

Of course, their luck ran out when the Minotaur arrived, thundering across the walkways and up the stairs in a furious charge, interposing the flat of its huge battle axe to use as a makeshift shield. To make the situation worse, their shotguns had run out of ammunition and would need reloading.

The few remaning wolves turned out to not be much of a problem as the Minotaur either flattened them or smacked them over the wall as it charged at the petrified scientists.

Not being trained soldiers, they frantically kept pulling the triggers of their empty weapons instead of switching to the pistols they'd taken. Only two of them still had shells in their shotguns and most of the buckshot ended up being deflected by the axe.

Consequently, they accomplished very little by the time the Minotaur reached them and swung its own weapon in a wide arc, instantly killing two of them and sending the other two plummeting off the wall.

The other group had by now taken care of their own wolves and were able to turn around just to see this happen.

"Switch weapons!" Minaka ordered hastily and grabbed his own pistol, knowing full well that they had no time to reload the shotguns.

The other three snapped out of their horrified staring at the monstrosity and obeyed on autopilot, two of them pulling their high caliber pistols while the other grabbed for the assault rifle.

The Minotaur once again charged towards them with its axe held as a makeshift shield, but ran into considerably more resistance this time as three rounds from the powerful handguns struck it and forced it to stop. The scientists didn't exactly have great aim and the handguns kicked like mules with every shot, but aim didn't really matter at that distance and they had enough stopping power that even something as strong as the Minotaur couldn't ignore it.

Three more shots rang out, only one being blocked by the axe while the other two stuck it in the leg and abdomen respectively, causing massive tissue damage.

It was at this point that the man with the assault rifle had finally gotten himself ready to fire and let loose with his automatic weapon. He'd expected the recoil and had aimed deliberately low, but it still took him by surprise and forced his aim upwards a lot more forcefully than expected.

By some stroke of dumb luck, he stitched a line of bullet wounds upwards across the beast's chest and even took out one of its eyes.

The weight of fire caused the Minotaur to stagger back and clutch at its damaged face, its charge interrupted.

"Keep firing!" Minaka called, seeing their chance to kill it.

They others did so, emptying their clips and making short work of it now that it was a sitting duck.

All of them were breathing heavily and staring at the bullet riddled corpse of the Minotaur as if it would get up at any second and breathed a sigh of relief when it vanished. Though dread replaced relief when a Die of Power appeared in place of its corpse.

Minaka moved to roll it, but was stopped by the other before he could take more than a step.

"Don't do it Minaka-sama, our weapons are empty and there are only four of us left."

"Alright, lets reload first, then I will roll it." Minaka agreed.

"That's not what we mean." The other man said, sweatdropping. "I think it would be best to leave it be and continue towards the exit, we can see it now." He finished, pointing over the wall where they could now see a massive valley with an arrow formed of small rocks pointing at the other end. The valley had been hidden in fog that had liften with the death of the Minotaur.

"And what if we run into something that these weapons will not be enough to handle?" Minaka argued. He hadn't even gotten Amaterasu-chan back!

After several minutes of heated argument, Minaka finally convinced them of the need to rool the Die.

**1**

**All enemies despawned**

**?**

They all felt a block of ice drop into their gut at the number, though confusion followed at the mysterious and strangely helpful effect of the worst possible roll.

"Strange, I had not expected to still be alive if we rolled so poorly. I wonder what that hidden effect is?" Minaka said to himself.

"Uhhh...Minaka-sama." One of the scientists said faintly.

Minaka was too deep in his self muttering to hear him though. "Perhaps some kind of trap that will only become visible when it is too late?"

"Minaka-sama..." Another said, staring in the same direction as his collegue.

"Perhaps a boss monster of some sort and all others had been despawned to make sure we reach it." The MBI founder continued to mutter.

The third scientist had by now lost patience with the whole thing and forcefully turned Minaka around and pointed his eyes towards the bottom of the valley.

"Oh...well, that's bad." Minaka said in consternation after staring at it for nearly a full minute.

Now occupying the previously empty valley was a gigantic dragon.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Isn't that the same dragon that I already killed once?" Karasuba asked in amusement.

"Yes, but smarter and deadlier now." Naruto confirmed. "And a different color."

"What does it matter what color it is?" Benitsubasa asked huffily. She was upset because she hadn't gotten to use the monster spawn thingy. It had vanished when the dragon had been summoned and she'd been acting sulky ever since.

"Trust me, it matters." Naruto assured, getting a contemplative look from Haihane.

"That thing almost killed me because I got careless, there's no way that they're getting past that." The Black Sekirei said with certainty.

"It can certainly be done, if they find another Die of Power and roll high enough, along with one other way." Xanna said with a smirk.

"What other way?" Haihane asked curiously, already having suspicions on what that other way might be.

"A secret way." Naruto teased.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meanwhile, the group of dungeon crawlers had made their way through the castle and finally reached the valley where the dragon waited.

They had needed to backtrack and go the same way as Higa and Kakizaki. That had been quite the nerve wracking experience, walking through a spider web infested room that held the mangled corpses of the corporate heir and his secretary.

Fortunately, the spiders had been despawned along with everything else and their way was unimpeded.

Now that they were on the same level as the dragon though, it only sunk in just how massive it was. It completely blocked the exit and lit up the otherwise dark valley with the sheen of its silver scales. Fortunately it seemed to be sleeping

"There's another Die over there." One of them men whispered in a barely audible voice, fearing that they would wake it up by speaking too loud.

His words were indeed true though, tucked into a corner just before the exit from the castle and into the valley was another dais with a Die of Power on it.

"Might as well roll it, not like it could make things any worse." Another man said fatalistically.

With a shrug, the roll was made.

**16**

**Plasma rifles!**

Minaka sighed despondently as Warhammer 40,000 style plasma rifles appeared, one for each of them. Powerful weapons to be sure, but they weren't Amaterasu-chan.

After a short discussion on tactics, they came up with something very simple. They were going to tip toe right up to the sleeping dragon and shoot it in the face, hopefully melting its brain before it could wipe them out.

Sweating profusely from nervous tension, they approached it ever so slowly until they were close enough that they could aim their shiny new guns at its head with reasonable accuracy.

Just as they were preparing to fire, its eyes opened and it fixed them with a reptillian gaze that froze them where they stood.

The standoff lasted for a full five seconds before one of the scientists' nerve inevitably broke and he pulled the trigger.

The superheated plasma bolt missed its head and struck it on one of its horns instead, visibly heating up the silver colored protrusion.

The dragon growled threateningly and opened its mouth with the clear intention of releasing its breath weapon, causing the others to fire at it as well. These shots hit it in the face, but also did little more than heat the metallic scales.

Minaka was the only one who hadn't fired yet, as he had frozen in remembrance of a little fact on D&D dragons. It didn't help him much right now though, as they were all about to die.

Making a last second decision, Minaka turned tail and ran like the win back towards the entrance to the valley, leaving his petrified employees to die as a blast of freezing cold issued from the dragons mouth and flash froze them, only missing Minaka because the angle of the attack had been aimed at the others more than at him.

Trying to catch his breath, Minaka gazed back at the dragon, seeing that it was apparently returning to its nap, contemptuously batting aside the frozen statues and shattering them.

Gnawing on his lower lip in contemplation, he sighed and threw down his plasma rifle. Next, he approached the dragon again, but this time without any attempt at sneaking, hoping that the two gods that had created this place weren't _completely_ ignoring D&D conventions. The fact that the dragon had been spawned by a roll of one on the Die of Power worried him, but he didn't see himself having any other choices but to risk it.

"I apologize for our earlier attack on you, please allow me passage." He said with a bow, keeping his voice steady despite the nervous sweat beading on his face.

The dragon continued to look at him for a few pregnant seconds and then let out a snort that nearly blasted him off his feet. Still, it shifted aside slightly and moved its tail to open the way out.

"Thank you." He said with another bow and walked out, forcing down the impulse to burst into a sprint. He had to keep telling himself that he wasn't in any actual danger.

After all, metallic dragons were of Good alignment.

He was still sad about not being reunited with his beloved Amatersu-chan though.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"That is BULLSHIT!" Benitsubasa roared. "It moved because he ASKED NICELY?!"

Naruto and Xanna snickered in amusement, having expected that Minaka would be enough of a nerd to know that D&D detail and crazy enough to try it.

Haihane snickered too, but mostly at Benitsubasa's expression of red faced rage. Clearly the Red Sekirei felt that she'd been cheated out of something by Minaka's easy escape.

"Well, it saves me the effort of having to get him out of there myself. I do still want him alive after all." Naruto said, still snickering.

"What for?" Haihane asked in confusion.

"Something ironic, don't worry yourself over it." He answered.

"Are we finally going to have our fight now?" Karasuba asked impatiently. Sure, this had been somewhat amusing, but she wanted that fight.

"No, first he is going to be joining me in the bedroom since he saw fit to arouse me." Xanna cut off any further plans.

"Can't he just do that with a clone?" The Black Sekirei huffed, failing to see what was so great about sex anyway. Sure, she got riled up when she had a good fight, but that didn't mean that she understood what the big deal about sex was.

"Do not be obtuse girl, he is my husband and thus will always place me first and I will not be pawned off to a copy." The horned woman said challengingly, almost daring Karasuba to argue further.

Karasuba wanted that fight, she really did, but knew an unhealthy course of action when she saw one.

"Don't worry Little Crow, you'll get your fight soon." Naruto assured and teleported them all out. He had a wife to satisfy first though, and it would take a while before he was done.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**OMAKE, the continuation.**

Takami sat with her head in her hands at what had once been Minaka's desk. Technically it was still his desk, but the man hadn't sat behind it in quite a while already, preferring to stay in the labs and work on remaking Amatersu-chan.

She was not here to do work though. No, she was in the office to hide from everything and enjoy the quiet so that her poor head would stop hurting.

Everything was going to hell(literally according to most people these days) and she was the one who had to bear the brunt of the shitstorm because of it.

Every single day since that stupid asshole Uzumaki had started a new religion by demonstrating his boob enhacing abilities, there had been people yelling at her about it.

Every world leader that was able to actually _do_ anything on an international scale had been demanding explanations and blaming her for the chaos that the world was descending into. You'd think that a member of a pharmaceutical corporation wouldn't be getting blamed for this kind of thing, but thanks to Minaka and his usurping of the Japanese government, they were _technically_ responsible to at least some degree.

Oh sure, she'd told them that Uzumaki was basically uncontrollable and couldn't be stopped, but then they just badgered her because they didn't know what else to do. They'd done everything from demanding that the Sekirei be released to their custody as a possible means of stopping the lunatic to trying to manipulate the horned man somehow.

All of it was useless of course, since Uzumaki had taken over protecting the Sekirei and had become increasingly vicious with every attack against them. As for manipulating him...well, you'd probably have more luck manipulating a thunderstorm. Both would just ignore you and do whatever they wanted.

Naturally, things had gotten even worse once the various religious leaders of the world had somehow caught on to the fact that MBI had some remote connection to this whole mess. She'd had to deal with their stupidity too when that had happened.

Being a scientist, Takami had a rather dim view of religion as a general rule, but the sheer levels of religion inspired idiocy that people were descending to lately were astonishing.

While Naruto's ever larger horde of perverted followers raised hell around the world with their demands that he be recognised as an official deity, everyone else was naturally resisting it as if all of existence depended on it.

Takami would have found the whole thing darkly amusing if she wasn't the one that everyone complained too. To her, the whole thing was retarded since Naruto didn't really strike her as the type that would care whether anyone acknowledged him as a god or not, but humanity was all too eager to sink back into Dark Age level mentality on the issue.

Honestly, with how things were going, she wouldn't be surprised if some trigger happy idiot with access to nuclear weapons pushed the big red button while aiming at Japan.

At the very least, it would take care of her migraine in a storm of nuclear fire.

"You look stressed." Naruto said sympathetically, having just appeared behind her.

Takami didn't even jump this time, having become sort of used to his random appearances, nor did she react when he put his hand on her head and her migraine suddenly vanished.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked without lifting her head.

"Well, I seem to have made one hell of an oopsie by giving Beni bigger boobs, so I figure that I might as well have fun with it." He explained without any shame in his voice whatsoever.

"Did you know I had the Pope on the line earlier?" She asked idly.

"Oh really?" He asked with interest. "What did the chief replacement have to say to you?"

"He was most upset over the fact that your followers organized an orgy in the Vatican and sent him the DVD." Takami said, still perfectly calm.

"Oh that, yeah those guys were a bunch of horndogs, but they're not bad people. Papa Smurf is still alive and unharmed after all, though he might be under the impression that he's going to Hell when he dies." Naruto said with a snicker. "But I don't understand why he went whining to you about it."

"Because you don't own a phone Uzumaki." She answered, once again with the same calm.

Naruto shrugged again. What the hell would he need a phone for?...other than calling room service that was.

"He was also upset that you apparently visited another nunnery, replaced Jesus on the cross with your naked and fully erect self and then asked the nuns if they wanted to 'wield the Lance of Longinus'." The silver haired woman said, spinning around in her chair to finally look at him, making air quotes on the last part.

"I'm not apologizing." Naruto said, grinning. "Besides, you can't tell me that 'Lance of Longinus' doesn't sound ridiculously phallic."

"DAMNIT UZUMAKI!" Takami suddenly roared. "YOU CAN'T JUST MOCK PEOPLES BELIEFS LIKE THAT, EVEN IF THEY _ARE_ STUPID!"

Naruto was unphased by her outburst, knowing full well that she was just pissed because of all the chaos and the headache it was causing her, not the mocking itself. He didn't even need to hear the last part to know that she thought religion to be the height of stupidity.

"Does that mean that Xanna can?" He asked with another grin.

Takami took a deep breath to calm down, knowing perfectly well that she was just being baited. "She shouldn't, but just like you, I don't see how anyone could stop her from pretending that she was God."

Naruto wanted to make another jibe, but Takami spoke first. "Why are you picking on Christianity so much anyway?"

"We're not, but we drew lots on which religions each of us gets to mock and Christianity was the odd one out, so we decided to share." He explained.

"You drew...lots?" Takami asked in disbelief.

"Yep, I got Buddhism and Hinduism, while she got Jews and Muslims. We did Christianity first since we had to share." The horned blond explained further.

"And now you're going after the Buddhists and Hindus?"

"I'm already done actually." He admitted.

"What?" She frowned in confusion. "But I didn't hear anything about that."

"Well, it turns out that Hindus and Buddhists are a lot more chilled out than Christians, so I didn't really get to do a whole lot."

"Explain." She demanded.

"Well I tried the Hindus first, but it only took a few demonstrations before they declared me the Tenth Avatar of Vishnu. Things got kind of awkward after that since they started taking everything I said way too seriously." Naruto elaborated, scratching at his face as he remembered _that_ little incident. "Mind you, I have only the most basic idea of who Vishnu is supposed to be and I have _no_ idea why he'd need ten avatars, so I figured it might be a good idea to move on."

Takami looked at him sceptically, finding it hard to believe that he would just _leave _without causing _some_ kind of incident.

"As for the Buddhists...well, I did show up right in front of the Dalai Lama and started giving him tips on proper meditation."

Takami rubbed at her forehead in consternation.

"I also transformed into a sexy naked blonde woman and gave the monks a little show."

Takami's head firmly hit the desk.

"They didn't really react much aside from some surprise, which was pretty boring all in all. The old guy just thanked me for the meditation tips and asked if I could not transform into a woman any more. Very politely even."

Takami was actually rather relieved. Buddhism was likely the most peaceful religion on the planet and the one that least deserved Naruto's unique brand of humor being inflicted on it. At the very least, the Dalai Lama wasn't likely to be badgering her over it.

"He did call me an Outer Path heretic though, which was funny because it's true." Naruto snickered and then frowned. "Well, sort of anyway."

Takami looked at him oddly and was about to ask for more clarification about that, when he continued.

"Xanna's been having a much more...eventful time though."

"What did she do?" Takami asked, her blood turning to ice.

"Well the Jews are similar enough to Christians that she did her 'I am God, I'm pissed at you for thinking I was a man' shtick again, but they didn't really buy it. Not much happened there except for some spontaneus beard combustion and other minor tricks."

"I note that you left the Muslims for last." Takami said, resignation in her tone.

"Yeah...about that..."

"What did she do?" Naruto's words all but confirmed her suspicions.

"Apparently she picked those Muslims that were, shall we say, a bit more extreme in their beliefs and are thus a bunch of humorless bastards that couldn't take a joke to save their lives."

"Over a billion Muslims in the world, so naturally, she would end up mocking the ones that wouldn't take it well." Takami spoke, feeling her migraine returning already.

"No kidding, telling them that Allah is a woman and that the only thing waiting in the afterlife were seventy two sweaty men did _not_ go over well." Naruto said, as if in agreement.

"What happened?"

"Well...one of them called her an infidel whore, pulled a gun and declared that she would 'be shown her proper place' when the holy war began in earnest."

Takami sighed and closed her eyes. "And what did she do in return?"

"Take a look." He said and formed a viewing screen.

Almost immediately, Takami saw the horned goddess in question cutting down scores of Islamic extremists that kept popping up no matter how much anyone tried to get rid of them. Naturally, since this was Xanna she had to be ostentatious about it and was doing it with a sword made of bright white fire, with a shroud of black fire roiling around her.

"Don't you feel at all obligated to try and stop her from burning people alive?" The scientist asked, blanching at the obviously painful demise of dozens of people.

"Hey, they were the ones that declared war on her, they're just getting what they wanted." Naruto shrugged uncaringly. "I feel more pity for the grass when I see someone mowing their lawn."

"This isn't war, this is a slaughter." Takami said, unsuccessfully trying to rub away her shiny new migraine.

"War is always a slaughter." Naruto dismissed.

"Couldn't you just go back in time and make it so that all of this never happened?" She asked.

"Never tried going back in time before..." He said contemplatively.

At that moment, another Naruto appeared in a strange whirlpool.

"Hey dumbass." The new one greeted.

"You're not a clone." The original accused.

"Duh, I'm you from the future."

"Cool, how did you do that?" The original asked, impressed.

"You're too stupid to understand it." The newcomer said dismissively.

"I'll show you too stupid." The original growled and focused intensely. Suddenly he vanished in a strange whirlpool.

"Ha, I knew that would work." The now solitary Naruto crowed victoriously.

"Did you just...manipulate yourself into figuring out time travel?" Takami asked incredulously.

"What can I say, I'm amazing." Naruto shrugged.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Obviously, that Omake was not meant to insult anyone specific, but I figured that I might as well do some other religions besides Christianity.**

**Also, the Hinduism idea came from reviewer Gremlin Jack, I hope you don't mind me using what you said in your last review :P.**


	11. Chapter 11

**So, I have semi-predictably received a couple of negative reviews over my cracking jokes on the topic of religion in my last two omakes. I wasn't sure if I should even bother responding, but then I decided that I might as well.**

**Let me just take a moment to point out that I kept that kind of thing out of my actual plot and included it only in omakes, which are known by one and all as silly jokes and nothing more. It was not meant as an attack on anyone or even on religion in general, it was just a friggin joke. I've certainly got no interest in using this website as a platform to insult religious people, nor would I really bother putting in that much effort to deliberately insult a bunch of people I don't know and whose personal beliefs don't matter to me in the slightest.**

**Furthermore, this is a story of ****_fiction_**** posted on the ****_internet_****. If you manage to get upset over an off color joke that some guy you don't even know wrote on a story of ****_fiction_**** posted on the ****_internet_****, then I pity you and anyone that has to deal with you for an extended period of time. Do note my stressing of the fact that ****_this is the INTERNET_****. Do you honestly believe that your religion is going to be spared from mockery just because you personally find it important? Feel free to poke fun at atheism if you have enough imagination for it, I'd love to read it. Hell, I'll do it myself the second I get an idea for doing it, but sadly, atheism provides less ready made ammunition than religion.**

**Thirdly, I have absolutely ****_NO_**** intention on walking on eggshells because of anyone's delicate sensibilities. If you can't take a joke, then you may go fuck yourself very much. No doubt there are people out there that don't like the violence in my writing or the lemons or the (admittedly) tasteless rape joke that has occasionally found its way into one of my stories.**

**In short, your bitching over the fact that I cracked some jokes on the topic of religion are no more important than someone elses' dislike for lemons or violence, and considerably less important than anyone's dislike for the aforementioned tasteless rape jokes(that's why there are so few of them).**

**Well, this turned into a bit of a rant and it's possible that the butthurt people it was meant for are not going to even read it, but what the hell. I was due for a for a good rant anyway.**

**XXXXXX**

**Now for the review responses:**

**NoOneThere: You are right on most counts, but I do have a few comments. Firstly; it was mentioned specifically that these sequels were more about silly humor than any actual plot, as I am well aware of the fact that you can't have much in the way of plot with an absurdly overpowered protagonist.**

**Secondly; it ****_does_**** help with my writing since I still need to keep up a level of proper character interaction, as well as other things that have nothing to do with plot and thinking up all these amusing situations does still require some level of thinking.**

**Thirdly; I have no kids, no girlfriend, no life goals, a job that consists of a great deal of doing nothing and no friends with which I have regular contact. I am in short, the definition of 'no lifer', but that's exactly how I like it since I am an anti-social recluse with no interest in any of that and writing this gives me something to do until I figure out a new story or something else to do. Now if only I could afford to ditch my job so that I didn't have to leave my house at all...**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sanada Nishi stared at Naruto and the bodies of three of his Sekirei in a state of shock, grief and rage.

Chiyo, Yūna, and Hatae had been near impossible to control lately, constantly looking for an excuse to kill someone and they'd finally snapped just a short while ago. Back when he'd first winged them, he would have usually gone to find them a Sekirei to fight so that they could work off the rage, but that wasn't an option anymore.

Ever since Uzumaki had taken over, fights between Sekirei tended to get interrupted and the instigating Ashikabi often ended up separated from his Sekirei. People had learned to keep their heads down fairly quick, especially after an e-mail from MBI had gone out, informing people that the Sekirei Plan was officially canceled.

Of course, the more combative Sekirei hadn't liked it and the ones like Chiyo, Yūna and Hatae outright hated it, so there was the occasional problem from that direction.

He had tried everything he could think off to get them to calm down, but nothing had worked. Talking to them had been useless, they would obey his orders but otherwise had no interest in conversation. Attempting to take them on a date had been a disaster, they just kept looking for threats so they'd have an excuse to kill someone. He'd even been desperate enough to try having a tak about _feelings_ and telling them that he loved them, but all he'd gotten was an uncomprehending stare.

It made him want to pull his hair out. Everything that he knew about Sekirei told him that those things should've gotten them all giggly with happiness, but those three apparently cared only for fighting and killing. With no fighting and no killing happening, they'd been pacing liked caged tigers, glaring at everyone and everything all the damn time, even each other.

Then, mere moments ago they'd apparently convinced themselves that some random old man that had given their whole group the stink eye for their mode of dress was a threat and lunged at him with intent to kill. His shouted command to stop had gone unheard and he'd been convinced that the geezer was done for.

Sanada could not in all honesty say that he was caught completely by surprise when the horned blond had appeared and killed them. He hadn't seemed like the type for half measures on their first meeting either.

What surprised him was the speed of his response. He'd only just barely lost control of them and now they were dead. Obviously Naruto had been expecting it to happen and had been watching for it.

"Hey there Sanada." Naruto greeted as if he hadn't just killed three of his Sekirei.

"You killed them." The biker responded numbly, still reeling from feeling the bonds break.

"Had to be done I'm afraid, they were beyond saving." The horned blond said unrepentantly.

"Did you even try?!" Sanada raged.

"I did." Naruto confirmed. "I failed. They've had this problem their entire lives and it was being fueled by their Sekirei core. The only way to fix it would be to completely wipe their minds and start over and even then it would probably happen again eventually. Better to just kill them than to try fixing them while turning them into blank slates over and over again."

Sanada deflated at the explanation, clearly seeing that he _had_ tried. Turning them into mindless drones was no better than killing them, possibly even worse and he knew that they would have hated having that done to them.

His other three Sekirei came to stand beside him, which he knew was both a show of support and so that they could protect him in case things turned hostile. Not that he had any hope of them being able to win a confrontation with this particular threat.

"I have a proposition for you." Naruto said after a few moments of silence.

"Yeah?" Sanada asked disinterestedly. Chiyo, Yūna and Hatae might have been batshit crazy but they had been _his_ and it hurt to lose them. He wasn't in the mood to listen to any offers.

"I intend to create an empire in another dimension where the Sekirei will be safe from people who want to use them. Since you're their Ashikabi and you genuinely care for them, you're welcome to tag along."

"What?" The biker asked dumbly, wondering if he'd heard right just now.

"You heard me."

"You're crazy." Sanada finally said after a full minute of silently staring at the horned man.

"No, I'm a god." Naruto answered with a grin.

"A god?" The biker asked sceptically.

Rolling his eyes at the predictable response, Naruto teleported the five of them to the Moon, making sure to keep a bubble of air and warmth around them.

Sanada and his Sekirei yelped in surprise and stared around wildly

"Where are we?" Kuzuri asked curiously, staring at the barren surroundings with fascination.

"The Moon." Naruto answered blandly. "Congratulations on being people thirteen through sixteen who have walked on the Moon and the first ones to do it without space suits."

Sanada had looked around wildly for a good bit longer than his Sekirei, being the only one that really understood the impossibility of the situation, but now his gaze was fixed on the sight of Earth, hanging in the void of space.

The next moment they were back on Earth and both Ashikabi and Sekirei fell to their knees at the sudden pressure of gravity. They had of course noticed their own lightness while on the Moon, but suddenly being heavy again was a lot more disturbing.

"You have some time to think about my offer, but don't dally too long." Naruto said, bringing the conversation back on point.

"Right, okay, I'll do that." Sanada muttered, feeling very shaken up by his brief trip to the Moon. "Not too sure about having you as Emperor, but I'll think about it."

"Do keep in mind what will happen once I'm gone." Naruto warned.

"What would that be?" Sanada asked warily.

"There will be nobody left to protect the Sekirei, even MBI isn't likely to keep doing it. They will be hunted, captured, experimented on and probably forcefully impregnated. Once they discover that the offspring of the Sekirei don't share the power of their mothers, they will eventually be killed to tie up loose ends."

Sanada's hands balled into fists in anger at the mental imagery conjured by that diatribe. He would like to claim that he would be able to protect them, but he knew that he couldn't and no matter how strong his girls were, they couldn't defend themselves from everything.

"And you know this for a fact?" He asked tensely.

"I know people and I know how paranoid governments operate." That was exactly what most Kage in the Elemental Nations would have done and it the world leaders on Earth were much the same. In this case even worse as they had no personal power of their own, making them all the more greedy.

"You're not really giving me much of a choice here." The biker muttered.

"Only the illusion of it." Naruto agreed, amused. "I'm hardly going to abandon even a single Sekirei to that fate when it is so easily within my power to stop it."

"Well aren't you just a stand up guy." Sanada muttered again, this time with more sarcasm.

Without any warning, Naruto suddenly blurred with speed and all three Sekirei cried out in shock as they felt their bonds break.

"What the hell?!" Sanada shouted in anger at the perceived attack.

"They should have the ability to make their own choices too and they can't do it as long as the bond is influencing their decisions. Don't worry yourself over it, I'm doing this to every Ashikabi to see if they are really a good match for their Sekirei or not. I'll restore the bonding later if they still want it, except for Shijime, who is too young for it and should grow up first."

"Give us back our wings!" Kujika yelled angrily, echoed by Kuzuri and then they both attacked him.

Naruto didn't bother defending himself and let their attacks hit, only to fail to do any damage at all.

"I'm not stopping you from staying together you know." Naruto pointed out, completely unruffled. "Just give it a try and get to know each other without this silly bond forcing you to love him. You might find out that he annoys you, or you might find that there is more depth to it."

With that he vanished, leaving two very put out Sekirei, one Ashikabi who was both angry and contemplative and another Sekirei that was sniffling and crying at the loss of the bond.

Sighing in an effort to expel most of his irritation, Sanada went about the business of calming down the twelve year old Sekirei and convincing her that everything was alright. He couldn't even blame the horned bastard for severing their bonds in light of his reasons. Especially not Shijime's, he'd thought that having a twelve year old girl 'love' him was more than a bit creepy himself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So, when are you finally going to pay Miya a visit?" Karasuba asked as she deflected one of Naruto's attacks. "Not that I'm complaining about all the sparring we've been doing lately, but I'd like to see this empire of yours."

"Our plan is to leave right after we have that talk with her, so I can't actually do that until Takami decides to come along." Naruto answered, blocking a combination of attacks while he spoke. It was a more relaxed spar than normal, so having a conversation while fighting was no hardship.

"What if she decides not to go?" Karasuba asked.

"She's not going to do that, but I don't want her to feel like I forced the decision on her. I want her to be happy with her choice, not bitter and resentful." Naruto explained. "But I'll go talk to her anyway.

The Black Sekirei snorted, thinking that he was overcomplicating things. What did it matter what mood the scientist was in as long as she did what she was supposed to?

Karasuba was not much of a people person.

"Just screw her brains out then, that seems to be your solution to most things." She finally suggested.

Naruto grunted in amusement, smashing his blade against Karasuba's hard enough to make the Black Sekirei slide back from the force of it. "Same problem, though I'd like to do that for its own sake either way, Takami is pretty hot."

"You're such a horndog." She responded with a smirk, shaking her head in amusement.

"You didn't seem to mind yesterday." He leered.

If ever accussed of blushing, Karasuba would deny it vehemently and then kill whoever had suggested it, but she did in fact blush just then. Just a little bit.

"Shut the hell up." She scowled and attacked him much more viciously than before.

"Make me." He deliberately mocked, batting aside her attacks and venturing a few of his own in return.

Karasuba growled and increased the pace of her attacks even further.

They didn't talk any further fore the next twenty minutes, instead focusing purely on swordplay. There was nothing special about the area that Naruto had created this time, it was just a perfectly flat, featureless, grassy meadow.

Naruto preferred the battleground to have more character, but Karasuba liked flat ones that allowed her to focus completely on her opponent.

The Black Sekirei knew that he'd provoked her like that on purpose. The whole point of taking it easy was so that she didn't get all hot and bothered by their fight. Which was now already happening because of the fast paced combat.

With no distractions and no environmental hazards, Karasuba had already sunk into a state of hyperfocus where she was at her most dangerous. She had very nearly defeated Yume in this state and that particular Sekirei had won their battle only because she had a truly incredible power. Being able to call on the 'element' of Light as well as somehow simultaneously being a Fist Type had made the Sekirei of Fate far more powerful than she should have been.

The side effect of this state was that she was getting incredibly wet without even noticing it.

Naruto did notice though, as indicated by the grin on his face. This was the entire reason that he'd provoked her in the first place after all. Karasuba was an odd woman as far as arousal went. Absolutely zero interest in anything sexual most of the time. No matter what you anyone tried, she would stay dry as a desert, but give her a good fight and she would gush like a firehose. Freud would have just loved her.

Naturally this meant that the only time she had ever _really_ experienced arousal had been during her one and only serious battle against Yume. Miya had refused to spar with her seriously even when they had been on good terms and everyone else was too weak.

So when Naruto had come along and started giving her the challenge she craved, her body had been going into overdrive every time they fought past a certain level.

He had no idea how she could function even halfway normally with the way she was, but it ceased to be strange why she always seemed so tense. Either her body worked very oddly or she was subconsciously suppressing anything sex related, either way it meant that she only unwound during a challenging battle.

That was actually why she had orgasmed so hard that she'd knocked herself out during their second fight, she had a lot of backlogged tension to work out.

They'd gone all the way after their fight the previous day and Karasuba had remained hypersensitive then too, screaming herself hoarse from the pleasure she'd felt and then falling asleep with a silly grin. That was the cause of her embarrassment over the matter, she found it hard to believe how easily she lost control of herself.

Well, Naruto hadn't really expected that he would be giving Karasuba stress relief by giving her a good fight, getting her horny as hell and then screwing her into unconsciousness, but it was certainly a better way to do it than trying to play psychiatrist. Karasuba had a myriad of problems, but her constant sexual repression and the resulting tenseness accounted for many of them. She was always quite mellow and relaxed for a day or two after these fights of theirs and even managed to get along with people without too much issue.

By the time that their battle had hit the forty minute mark, Karasuba was greedily gulping down air and her legs were slick with her own juices.

At this point, Naruto had decided that it was time to move on to a different kind of battle and smashed the sword out of her hands.

Before Karasuba could react he'd already tackled her to the ground and was busily ripping her clothes off.

The Black Sekirei continued trying fight him off despite suddenly becoming aware of the inferno burning between her legs, but was met with no success when he pushed himself between her thighs and quickly ripped off her hopelessly soaked panties.

His own pants were disposed of far more easily, as he could simply will them out of existence and he was slowly sliding into her the very next moment. She started screaming in pleasure as soon as she felt him pushing into her and dug her fingers into his back and her teeth into his chest reflexively. She was already shuddering from her first orgasm by the time he was fully inside her.

Giving her only a short moment of rest, he started slowly thrusting into her, once more making her screaming restart, while her legs locked around his hips and clenched as hard as they could.

Ten minutes later, Karasuba was worn out from multiple orgasms and was just giving out weak moans every time he filled her. A drawn out sigh of pleasure escaped her when she felt a flood of warmth filling her and her legs finally unclenched. She felt completely spent and it was glorious.

"I wonder if you'll ever stop being so hypersensitive." Naruto mused, still staying inside her for the moment.

Karasuba merely hummed and enjoyed the sense of boneless exhaustion. Truth be told she would prefer things to stay the way they were. They would fight, then he would tackle her to the ground and fuck her while she tried to fight him off until she was too tired to resist anymore. Some people would probably consider it rape since she wasn't exactly willing at the time, but that was just because her combat mindset didn't dissipate immediately. She would be pissed if he _didn't_ do it, like he'd done a time or two before.

There was nothing more to it than rage and lust and power and that was how she liked it. She cared nothing for love or children or anything like that, she just wanted to be challenged and to feel the sense of peace that came after being fucked like this.

Before he'd come around, she hadn't slept well most of the time, habitually only getting four or five hours of sleep per night, sometimes even less. She'd run away from him when she realised that she'd slept for a solid ten hours after their second battle and the orgasm that had knocked her out. The familiar restless tension had returned swiftly after that and she hadn't been able to understand why that was.

Naruto had explained his theories to her, but she didn't really care. She just knew that she didn't have to worry about him suddenly vanishing on her the way that Yume had done and he was a far better sparring partner than the Sekirei of Fate in any case. On top of that, he never judged and wasn't afraid to screw her to bonelessness during the short window of opportunity when she could enjoy it. After that she got to have a nice, long, restful sleep and woke up feeling better than she could ever remember feeling. Of course, the tension would return soon and she'd be back to her irritable self, but that just meant that they got to do the whole thing all over again.

The world wasn't such a bad place after all, and she didn't want to see it burn anymore.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Takaaaami-chan~."

Takami sighed in irritation at the sing-song greeting from the blond menace that was currently squatting on her ceiling in clear violation of the law of gravity. The only thing that was actually obeying gravity was his stupidly long, shiny, tangle free and luxurious looking hair, which hung nearly to the floor.

And no, she was _not_ jealous of that hair, even if her one attempt to grow out her own had been a disaster of tangles and irritation.

"What?" She asked monotonously, barely bothering to pay attention to him. Getting angry at him had so far done nothing but amuse him, so she'd resolved to treat him like the pest that he was.

"Have you decided to become my favorite mad scientist yet?"

"No."

"But why not? It'll be fun, I promise. I'll give you evil aliens to experiment on and you'll be able to participate in the conquest of the galaxy~." He sing-songed again.

She looked at him in exasperation and just stared at him for a while before answering." You know that you're _really_ not making me feel better about the idea of going along with this insanity of yours?"

"I'm just being honest and it's really not as bad as it sounds. Think Alexander the Great and his idea of spreading the advanced culture of the Greeks around the world by conquering it, just less doomed to failure." Naruto counter argued.

Well alright, Takami had to give him points for not trying to sugar coat his intentions, make excuses or justify anything. It was one of the few things she liked about him. "And how exactly is your idea of conquering the galaxy less doomed to failure than Alexander the Great's idea of conquering the world? Do you have _any_ idea how big the galaxy is?"

"For one thing, Alexander wasn't a god" He pointed out, grinning. "and he had no idea how big the world was, while I have a very good idea of the size of the galaxy, better than you even. For another, I've got all the time in the Universe to do it. Lastly and most importantly, I am too damned awesome to fail."

"How humble of you." Takami replied snidely, though inwardly she had to condede the point that he apparently _did_ have all the time in the Universe. He was certainly not afraid to waste it in any way he could find, including annoying her.

"To quote my wife, 'humility serves well those who wield it well.'."

"I don't think your wife has a very good grasp on the meaning of humility." She deadpanned.

"You can say that again." He agreed with a snicker. "Her ego probably outmasses the Solar System."

Takami looked at him oddly at that blunt declaration. "You know, most people wouldn't be dumb enough to talk about their wife like that behind her back, especially if she's a goddess."

Naruto blinked at her in confusion and responded most eloquently. "Eh?"

She rolled her eyes and used a more simple sentence so that he wouldn't get confused. How someone this dense got to be so powerful was actually a rather scary thought that didn't bear consideration. "Isn't it a bad idea to be insulting your wife behind her back?"

"But I wasn't insulting her." He said back, puzzled.

"You said that her ego outmasses the Solar System." She said incredulously. "How is that not an insult?"

"It's not an insult because it's the truth and she likes having a gigantic ego. If she didn't like it, then she wouldn't be so arrogant." He tried to explain. "I mean, is it an insult to call a fat person fat? Or to call a prostitue a whore?"

That kind of logic sounded very warped to Takami, but then again, the horned duo were a couple of very warped individuals.

"In polite society, yes, it would be insulting to call a fat person fat or to call a prostitute a whore. It's rude to point out the obvious or to call a woman a word that has been used as an insult for as long as anyone can remember, even if that is what she does for a living." She told him dryly. "Is it so hard to use a more polite term?"

"Hey, don't give me that political correctness crap." He retorted with an eye roll. "A fat person has no reason to be insulted if someone calls them fat, because that's what they are and prostitute is just another word for whore so it really doesn't matter which one you use. That's like saying that calling a stone a rock is impolite."

Takami sighed and rubbed her forehead. He might have a point, but that really wasn't how things worked.

"Besides, I'm rather fond of whores. In fact, some of my best friends growing up were whores." He continued, fondly remembering his sexcapades through Konoha's brothels.

"That explains a lot." Takami muttered to herself. "But we're getting off topic. Why are you even here? Weren't you going to give me time to think about your offer without badgering me to accept?

"Well you see, I'm sort of done with almost everything. Mikogami is hiding under his bed in mortal terror of my wife, most of the really violent Sekirei have been killed and I've already killed Higa and the MBI adjustors that I had a grudge against for what they did to Akitsu and a few others. The only important thing left to do is have that talk with Miya and leave this world, everything else is just playing around."

"You, you were the reason that ten of my scientists suddenly vanished?!" Takami burst out angrily, having wasted a good bit of time investigating those disapperances.

"Yup." He answered cheerfully.

"And you just killed them?"

"Well it was a bit more involved than that, but they did all end up dead in the end, yeah."

"You are _really_ not making me feel better about the idea of working for you." She repeated, getting off her chair and pacing around the office. "Is that how you intend to rule this empire of yours? Anyone that annoys you suddenly disappears? Is the police force going to be your personal goon squad that shuts up anyone you don't like?"

"Don't be so dramatic." He answered amusedly. "I may be a hypocrite on more than one count, but I wouldn't do that. Xanna is a lot quicker to take offense than me and even she wouldn't do something like that. We both know that supressing the people you rule is not the right way to go about it and both of us want this venture to succeed."

It may not be for the same reasons, but that wasn't the point.

"I find that kind of hard to believe." She muttered. True enough, he was extremely laid back and any insults thrown at him were taken with a grin and often returned with gusto but no more than that, but she was still uneasy. Totalitarian regimes didn't exactly have a great track record.

Not that democracy was doing what you might call a spectacular job as a form of government either, but at least all the power wasn't held in the hands of a single person. Or two in this case, since Xanna and Naruto would rule together.

"Empire doesn't _have_ to mean tyranny you know." He rumbled into her ear, making her jump since she hadn't even heard him get off the ceiling and creep up behind her.

She tried to step away but he grapped her by the waist and kept her still, while he continued speaking into her ear. "A hereditary seat of power quickly becomes corrupt because people born into power are often the worst possible choice as leaders, but this won't be a problem for us."

Takami wanted to protest the compromising position, but he held her firmly, hushed her protest and continued speaking. "Consider this, immortal rulers who didn't need to leave things to possibly inept children and who had no reason to abuse the power of their position because they had so much personal power that the position of rule worked more to constrain than empower."

Takami could almost see the grin that had to be on his face because of the little shiver that went up her spine just now due to his breath tickling her ear and neck. Annoying, perverted lech with far too good of an idea of how to push a woman's buttons.

And damn him for having an undeniably excellent point. Most empires and kingdoms of note had not truly fallen because of outside forces, but because their leadership was left to lesser men who had driven them into the ground. An empire ruled by immortals who couldn't be tempted by the power for the simple reason of already having too much of it and who were impervious to any attempt of assassination or other means of unseating them could accomplish a lot.

It all came down to whether or not she could trust them to put an honest effort into it. Though she supposed that it would make minimal difference in the end. If she accepted then she'd be there and if she didn't she wouldn't be, but that was all.

There was always the chance that the both of them were severely overestimating their ability to raise a great nation from the ground up of course, but she had a feeling that they weren't. From what she understood, Xanna was very old, which would count for a lot. As for Naruto...well, he'd proven to be frighteningly charismatic and capable.

"I'll go with my children." She finally decided, trying to ignore to very solid chest she could feel brushing her back.

"You're going with me then." He purred so close to her ear that she could feel the vibrations of his voice, the grin on his face practically audible.

"You don't know that." She argued. Her children were both adults that could make their own decisions, so she was strongly resisting the urge to talk to them about this. At least for the moment.

Not that she'd had loads of free time to do it anyway, what with having to take over Minaka's job as well as her own.

"Yukari can hardly wait and has been nagging me to hurry up already. She's excited about the idea of living on another planet and possibly experiencing space travel."

Takami resisted another shiver and admitted to herself that she wasn't surprised by what he said. Her daughter was by far the more adventurous of the two and would naturally be excited by what he was proposing.

"As for Minato...well, I can be very persuasive and your son has no real ties to this world as well as being laughably easy to influence."

Once again, an unfortunately good point.

"Why are you so hellbent on bringing me on board anyway?" She asked instead of commenting on what he'd said about her children. Privately she'd already resigned herself to going with him.

Naruto started placing light kisses on her ear and neck even as he answered her question. He'd also long since started using his thumbs to work two pressure points on her back that doubled as low strength erogenous zones.

"Because I like you Takami-chan, you're smart, sensible and your focus isn't as narrow as most scientists I've met so far. Your talents are wasted trying to pull MBI out of the hole that Minaka has driven it into or doing damage control on his stupidity. It doesn't hurt that you're very easy on the eyes either."

Her eyes flew open at the last sentence and she jumped away. She hadn't even realised that her eyes had drifted shut or that she'd leaned her neck to the side to give him better access. She also became aware that her panties were uncomfortably damp and that her heavy breathing had less to do with surprise than arousal.

_He's been seducing me and I didn't even notice until it was almost too late._ She thought to herself, knowing that it was not entirely true even as she was thinking it. She had been perfectly aware of what he was doing, she'd just been certain that he couldn't get to her that way, that she wasn't that easy to seduce. Apparently she'd underestimated him.

That was the only thought she had time for though, as he rushed at her the very next moment, picking her up and pinning her to the desk with his body.

Takami gasped in fright and tried to push him off her to no avail, all too aware of the rock hard erection she could feel pressing against her core even through both of their clothes.

"Get off me." She whispered, chagrined at how little force there was behind her own words.

Naruto didn't listen and leaned down to give her neck another kiss, scraping his teeth gently over the skin while he was at it. "If you want me to stop, you just have to say 'Naruto, I want you to stop.' In a clear voice."

Takami steeled herself and spoke. "Naruto, I waaa..." What was intended to be a firm sentence ended up trailing off into a pleasured gasp when he hit the exact right spot on her neck and pressed his groin into hers more firmly. She did manage to finish her sentence with a groan after a second. "...stoooop."

"That didn't sound very convincing." He murmured wickedly, trailing a claw down her blouse with deliberate slowness and rather enjoying the sound of it ripping.

"Stop." She said again, this time much more firmly, still pushing her palms up into his chest in an ineffectual attempt to push him away.

"Better, " He complimented. "but you'll have to say the full sentence if you wan't me to take you seriously."

"Naruto, I hnngh-" She was once more interrupted by a push against her throbbing-with-arousal nether regions, with another claw being trailed down her blouse which served to reduce it nearly to ribbons. He went back to her neck right after, further rattling her.

"Your neck is pretty tasty." He rumbled to her and used his teeth to rip off the tie she habitually wore. Annoying things, he'd never understood what the point of a tie was.

"Stop...it!" She gasped out, struggling to force down the rampaging arousal he was inciting in her.

"You know how to stop me, but if you really wanted me to then you'd have no problem saying it." He told her and ripped her blouse off outright, leaving her in just her bra.

"You're not...letting me...speak!" She grunted out while trying to push him off and cover her chest at the same time.

"Lies, "He rebuffed, easily grabbing both of her hands in one of his and pulling them away so that he was able to slice the bra off. "_you're_ not letting you speak. The smell of your arousal is getting stronger by the second."

Takami was somewhat ashamed to admit that yes, she was getting more and more aroused. His obvious attraction to her and forceful approach was making it hard not to be aroused despite her mixed feelings about the horned menace. He was a supremely annoying pest, but he definitely knew know his way around a woman.

"I'm forty one years old." She finally said, though not exactly sure why she'd picked that of all things. Maybe as some kind of repellant, despite being intellectually aware that he probably already knew that bit of information.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." He chuckled and leaned down to grab a nipple with his lips.

Takami gasped and automatically arched her back at the touch, coincidentally also pushing her nipple even more firmly into his mouth. Then she groaned when she felt him doing _something_ very pleasant to it and barely noticed when her lab got also got shredded.

She definitely _did_ notice when he started cutting away her pants though.

"This isn't right." She whispered, grabbing the hand to prevent it from completing the pants shredding.

"You think too much." Naruto declared with authority and ripped her pants off.

Takami yelped at suddenly finding herself in nothing but her panties, socks, shoes and what remained of her pants and lab coat. It did shock her enough that she got her wits about her though.

"Naruto, I want you to stop." She was inordinately proud of how steady her voice was, even if it _was_ still more than a bit breathy.

The horned blond froze and then looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes, really." She confirmed.

"_Really?_" He asked again with a faint note of incredulity, still pinning her to the table.

"Yes, _really!_" She insisted, a bit more snappishly this time.

"Wow, I think this is the first time I've been rejected at this late stage of a seduction." He said to himself in a tone of wonder. "I don't think I like it much, but damn if I don't respect your determination to not have a good time."

"Are you going to get off me sometime today?" She ground out, starting to get a bit irritated.

"Just a second, let me give you a little something." He said and pressed himself against her more firmly, to the point where she had no wiggle room whatsoever.

"What the hell are you- OH!" She started to ask with a flushed face at how traitorously good it felt to have his solid body pushing into her like that, but was once again interrupted by something that felt very good, though this time it wasn't a sexual good.

She could feel some kind of energy flooding through her, an energy that made her feel fantastic.

"There we go." Naruto proclaimed once he was done and rose to give her a bit of space.

"What did you do?" She asked in a tone of wonder, still feeling a bit dazed from whatever he'd just done.

"Healed your lungs from all the damage you've done to them over the years and washed out all the other poisons, so try not to start smoking again. Oh, and I also reversed your age back to eighteen because I feel so sad for you and all the fun you're missing. I figure that I might need the extra time to seduce you fully and that it would help if you had teenaged hormones."

Takami growled, feeling pissed off at the fact that he was _still _intending to seduce her and grabbed for something to hit him with. This happened to be her phone, which had somehow managed to stay on the desk all this time. As soon as she had it in hand, she hurled it at him with all her strength.

Naruto had clearly read her intentions, as he grinned and threw himself out of the window in a move that would have been suicidal for anyone else considering that they were on the top floor. He also made a strange 'wubwubwubwubwub' sound that Takami found terribly familiar for some reason that she couldn't quite place just then.

Takami found herself lying on her desk, in the highest room of the tallest building in the city, with a broken window and wearing only what amounted to a sopping wet pair of panties.

Naturally, a cold breeze drifted inside and rapidly caused goose flesh to pop up everywhere and made her nipples harden even further.

Shivering, she sat up and wrapped her arms around her in a feeble attempt to conserve some warmth when she heard the rustling of paper. Looking up, she found a piece of paper floating in the air in a clear violation of common sense.

With a sigh, she took it, knowing exactly who had left it there.

_I didn't actually make you younger so that I'd have more time to seduce you(I'm sure I'd have managed soon enough either way), I did it so that you could do science for me longer. _

Takami grabbed a lock of her hair and stared in shock at the rich black color of it. It hadn't quite hit her earlier when he'd said that he'd made her eighteen again, but seeing that her hair was back to its original color instead of being silver really brought it home.

She did a few jumps and stretches next and was astonished at how much more energetic she felt.

Takami knew that she had aged remarkably well aside from her hair going prematurely silver, probably from dealing with Minaka's crap all the time, but no matter how well someone aged, they still aged and aging had side effects. A hundred little irritations that she hadn't even registered were suddenly gone, making her feel as if she could run a marathon.

Next, she inspected her body visualy, finding much to her delight that her skin once again had the characteristic elasticity and smoothness of youth. Even her breasts and butt were visibly firmer. She guessed that she must look like Yukari, which brought up the odd realisation that she was physically the same age as her daughter now.

Self inspection done, she continued reading the note.

_I was going to make a fountain of youth joke after I gave you a thick creamy filling, but now you ruined it. That actually kind of hurts. Why you gotta be mean like that?_

Takami sighed and rubbed her head in irritation. She wasn't really surprised that he'd had a crass joke prepared, but why did she get the feeling that he was more upset over not getting to use it than over the fact that she'd resisted his advances?

Unconsciously, her mind conjured the image of him thrusting into her hard, her own gasps sounding harsh and breathless. Then a cry from her and a growl from him as he discharged into her, filling her to overflowing with his thick, hot, sticky-

Shaking her head forcefully to clear the erotic image, Takami scowled as she realised that she now had the hormones of a mature teenager, coupled with the sex drive of a middle aged woman that had been on a dry spell for over a decade.

"You sneaky bastard." She muttered angrily and returned her attention to the note.

_P.S. Have fun sneaking around in your soaked panties and trying not to get seen._

"Son of a bitch!" The de-aged scientist swore, but then remembered that this used to be Minaka's office and the loon always kept several of those ridiculous white cloaks around.

Unfortunately, opening the closet revealed only an empty space, with a cheeky looking smiley face sticking its tongue out at her.

"Feels like I'm back in college." Takami muttered, resigning herself to the fact that she was going to have to somehow sneak her way to some new clothes, but until then she'd have to improvise some cover with the rags that used to be her old clothes.

She'd have called someone for help, but she had unfortunately hurled her phone out the window in her effort to hit Naruto. There was supposed to be another office phone here of course, but she had a feeling that Naruto had disabled that easy solution too.

Then it suddenly also hit her that none of the employees were going to recognise her anymore.

"Definitely just like college. Shit."

Sighing, she read the last line of the note, becoming much confused at the nonsensical question.

_P.P.S. Why not Zoidberg?_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minaka was dreaming.

_The corridors all looked the same, he could hear the zombies catching up to him._

_He desperately needed to find it, but it eluded him at ever turn, always out of reach._

_After an age of running that could have just as easily been a minute, he finally found his prize. It was the Die of Power, but this one was special. Though twenty sided just like all others, all twenty sides had 18 written on it._

_Greedily he grabbed it and rolled, waiting tensely as it bounced around on the dais._

_"Come on, come on!" He urged it._

_After an eternity of bouncing it finally stopped, proudly displaying the number that he had been waiting for so desperately._

**_18_**

**_Amaterasu-chan!_**

_"YES!" Minaka cheered in victory._

**_ERROR 404: Amaterasu-chan not found!_**

_"NOOOOooooooo...!" Minaka wailed in despair._

Back in the real world, Minaka jolted awake and felt his eyes tear up. After a minute, he mastered himself and forced down his despair, returning to his worktable where he was attempting to rebuild Amaterasu-chan.

"The fates are cruel to have separated us so and now they taunt me even in my dreams, but I will not give up. We will be reunited Amaterasu-chan!" He proclaimed, trying to make himself believe it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elsewhere, Naruto chuckled at the distress he'd caused the nutcase with the fake dream.

"I know I'm being a dick and kicking a man when he's down, but somehow, I still don't feel bad about doing it."

He was just about to leave when he sensed an approaching presence. He rolled his eyes when he discerned that it was Homura and judging by the amount of malice that the Fire Sekirei was putting out, he was intending to make a barbeque out of Minaka.

Contemplatively rubbing his chin, Naruto decided that Homura would be just as good for giving Miya a message as Uzume. He'd been intending to ask the chesty Veiled Sekirei to tell Miya that it was time for that dinner conversation, but it didn't really matter in the end.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Homura was going to do it, he was finally going to do it. After years of impotent rage directed at Minaka, he was finally going to burn the bastard alive and he planned to enjoy every second of it.

There was absolutely no reason to hold back anymore. Minaka didn't even run his own company anymore and the protection that he'd once provided to the Sekirei had been taken over by Naruto. There wasn't even anyone that could stop him anymore now that the Disciplinary Squad had gone AWOL.

Oh, how he was looking forward to it. He could almost imagine the madman's screams as the fire consumed him.

"Damn bro, those are some nasty thoughts you've got there."

Startled, Homura instinctively hurled a fireball in the direction of the voice, only realising that it was Naruto speaking after it was already underway.

It hit him right in the chest and exploded, leaving a few tiny fires burning on his skin and hair. Oddly enough, they weren't doing any damage, just burning.

"Cute." The horned blond deadpanned and extinguished the small fires.

"What do you want?" Homura demanded without apologizing. "I'm kind of in the middle of something."

"Yeah I know, you were about to give Minaka a tan, but I'm afraid I can't let you do that."

"You're protecting _him_ now?!" Homura asked in outrage. "Do you have any idea what he's done?"

"I know more than you." Naruto pointed out.

Homura was about to give another scathing reply but was cut off when they suddenly found themselves in what looked like a Buddhist shrine, with Naruto already sitting cross legged in the middle of the otherwise empty room and gesturing him to do the same.

Warily, Homura sat down. "Where are we?"

"We are nowhere." Was the serene reply.

"O...kay, why are we nowhere?" The Fire Sekirei asked, confused.

"Why is anyone anywhere?" Naruto asked back with the same serene tone.

"Is this another one of your games Uzumaki?"

"What is life but a great game?"

"Why did you bring me here?" Homura asked irritably, getting annoyed by the serene tone and pointlessly enigmatic manner. He really wished that Naruto would be his usual blunt self, but he seemed to be in the mood to play around and be cryptic. He had a feeling that it would be over faster if he just played along.

"You have questions and I have answers, give me your questions to my answers."

"Right, why did you stop me from killing Minaka?"

"He has one final purpose."

"The only purpose he has left is to die." Homura muttered angrily.

"Such is the final purpose of all mortal beings." Naruto agreed serenely.

"Then why stop me from killing him?" The silver haired Sekirei asked in surprise, having not expected that Naruto would agree with him.

"It was not I who prevented it, but the most powerful force in the universe."

"And what would that be?" Homura asked sarcastically, being of the opinion that it had in fact been Naruto who had done the stopping.

"Irony." Naruto's face finally cracked into a grin when he said this, though he quickly suppressed it. He didn't want to ruin the mysterious vibe he'd been building up. Granted, there was no need for it, but he felt like messing with the Fire Sekirei.

"You've got something planned for him already." Homura accused suspiciously in a moment of insight.

"You have more questions." Naruto stated in a blatant deflection.

Sighing in irritation, Homura nevertheless went along with it. "Uzume told me that Karasuba was actually being...a lot less scary than usual when she saw her. How did you do it?"

"How did I do what?" Naruto asked, directly for a change.

"Save her I guess." Homura awkwardly elaborated. "I thought she was a hopeless psycho."

"What the eyes see, the mind believes." The horned blond said, switching back to enigmatic serenity.

"So you're telling me that appearances can be deceiving, is that it?"

"Some things cannot be seen with the ken of the eyes, only known with the kan of the mind."

Homura sighed again at all the pointless mystery. "Alright, I think I got this one. It took some thinking to figure her out right? To find out what's been eating at her?"

"A snowflake cannot survive in a storm of fire." Naruto said unhelpfully, but in a tone of serene agreement.

"A snowflake isn't exactly what I'd call Karasuba." Homura muttered and decided to just leave that alone. He had no idea what it was supposed to mean and Naruto was liable to just keep throwing metaphor at him if he asked again. "So, how did you save her?"

"Is a pool of tainted blood cleaned by pouring into it a cup of clear water?"

Homura's face creased in confusion as he tried to decipher that one. It seemed to imply that Karasuba hadn't been saved, and yet Uzume had clearly told him that the Black Sekirei had been no more threatening than Miya on a bad day. Mind you, that was still very threatening, but it wasn't the same type of I-want-to-see-you-bleed type of threatening that Karasuba was so well known for.

"So you're still working on it?" He ventured cautiously.

"If the path is walked with purpose, then the destination matters not."

Homura sighed yet again. This was getting really old, really fast. "Can you just stop that and talk normally."

"Yeah, sure. Why not?" Naruto said with a shrug and stood up.

Homura faceplanted heavily at the sudden reversal.

"Just like that?! First you drown me in metaphor and then you just drop it because I ask?! What the hell?!"

Naruto was unruffled by the Fire Sekire's irritation and merely shrugged again as he gave his answer. "Actually, I ran out of metaphors."

Homura faceplanted again.

"Why...did you even do all this?" He ground out once he picked himself up, struggling to keep his temper down.

"I remembered how fun it was to be cryptic during our first meeting and decided to do it again. Though I was planning to use it some other time once I had more metaphors built up, but oh well." Naruto explained.

A few deep breaths later, Homura was feeling something aproximating calm and could speak without grinding his teeth together. "Okay, fine. You've got something planned for Minaka that is probably going to be ironic, Karasuba is a work in progress and you're just as annoying and crazy as ever. Anything else?"

The last part was said sarcastically, so Naruto's affirmative nod surprised him.

"I actually wanted to ask if you could tell Miya that Xanna and I are done with our work and that we would be honored to accept her dinner invitation if she would still have us."

The Fire Sekirei looked at the sincere looking horned man with vast amounts of incredulity and suspicion. This sudden respectful attitude practically _reeked_ of falsehood after the way that Naruto had baited Miya. It would have been less suspicious if he'd done just about anything else.

Still, it wasn't as if he could actually _do_ anything except deliver the message to Miya and perhaps warn her of this new weirdness that Naruto was concocting.

Looks like the long awaited and dreaded meeting would finally take place.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**OMAKE, yet again.**

"I thought you said that you left India without doing anything?" Takami asked dryly.

"How did you know I was in India? I could have gone to Nepal for the Hinduism." Naruto pointed out.

Instead of answering, Takami called up a news article on her computer.

_Man in India beaten to death in broad daylight for attempted rape. Police unwilling to arrest perpetrators as the action was done at the command of newly emerged deity._

"Ohhh, that." Naruto said in a tone of realisation. "Yeah, I did say that all women and girls should be treated well and protected and that rapists are the scum of the Earth. I guess they took it pretty seriously."

"No shit, what would possess you to tell them to do something like that anyway?" Takami asked irritably.

"Well, I came across a bit of news about on the TV about a rape happening somewhere in India and it just sort of came out." Naruto shrugged.

"Do you have _any_ idea what you've just done?" The silver haired scientist asked in disbelief at his devil may care attitude.

"Accidentaly prevented a rape and made sure that decent people aren't unjustly punished?" He ventured in a questioning tone, wondering if that was what she meant.

"No you moron, you just gave people carte blanche to execute any rapists, suspected rapists and maybe even people mistreating women on the spot without needing to fear the consequences. All they have to do is is say 'my god told me to do it!'" She snapped. And that wasn't even going into the inevitable abuse of that particular excuse.

Naruto scratched at his face, looking confused. "I don't understand the problem."

"The problem, "Takami ground out, irritated by his denseness. "is that you've completely invalidated the system of law in every state that practises Hinduism WITH ONE SENTENCE!"

The last part was said in a roar.

He stared at her in contemplation for a while and finally just _shrugged_ as if it was no big deal. "Meh, the system of law on this world is way too limp wristed anyway."

Takami made a strangled noise of rage that sounded kind of like a drowning dog and extended her hands towards him as if to murder him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**OMAKE the second.**

"Really, Uzumaki? Really?" Takami asked in exasperation. "What, did you get bored of poking fun at religion and decided to move on to national stereotypes instead?"

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about." Naruto assured.

"Then I suppose it wasn't you that left a giant, black stone dildo aimed at the White House that squirts out oil every so often?" She asked pointedly.

"Why would you think it was me?"

"It might have something to do with the fact that you left a note on it that said, and I quote 'Enjoy the oil 'Murica, from Naruto.'".

"Those are slanderous claims of a slanderous nature." He asserted.

"There is a picture of you posing on top of said dildo." She stated flatly.

"Clearly someone is trying to frame me."

"Clearly, because you're so easy to impersonate." Takami said with immense sarcasm. "Moving on, I see that you've also changed Japan's weather pattern the other day so that it was raining octopi."

"Even the weather bows to the power of hentai." He said sagely.

"Finland also experienced some very odd weather phenomena when it started raining vodka all over the country."

"You can't prove a thing, maybe they just had so much booze that enough of it evaporated and fell down as rain."

Takami didn't bother telling him that this wasn't how rain worked and instead moved on to the other evidence that pointed towards him being the culprit. "I suppose you'll also argue that the fact that the vodka rain never crossed the border could occur naturally?"

"You suppose correctly." He confirmed with a grin.

"Then how do you explain that the entire country was hearing the song 'Vodka' by the Finnish folk metal band Korpiklaani for the entire time, all of it without any visible source?"

"Magnets?" He offered helpfully.

Takami sighed and moved on.

"And you also seem to have randomly decided to murder an imprisoned rapist that was convicted for multiple counts of rape and was about to be released, and then doing a piss poor job of making it look like suicide."

"That wasn't me, that was murder by suicide with malicious intent. That shit happens in prison."

"_Then_ you decided that the Netherlands were a bit too flat and raised a bunch of hills that look like breasts, complete with nipples."

"Good times." Naruto reminisced fondly, not even bothering to give painfully thin excuses anymore.

"You also created a lot of vagina shaped land formations all over the country."

"Well they _are_ called the Netherlands, I figured they needed some nether regions."

Takami put down all of the reports on her desk and looked at him with a sort of resigned irritation. "Why are you doing this to me? You _do_ know that I'm the one that has to listen to people whining when you do these things?"

"Why do you even still give a shit?" Naruto asked, perplexed. "I already told you that I was going to go back in time and tell Beni to keep her new boobs quiet, so nothing that anyone does is going to matter soon anyway."

Takami opened her mouth to reply but could come up with no compelling argument against that. She had already decided not to think of the fact that if he _had_ or did actually go back in time, then the current situation would not be happening. Temporal mechanics gave her a headache.

Without warning, Naruto appeared behind her and started massaging her shoulders while whispering in her ear with a deliberately overdone sinister tone. "Just relax Takami-chan and let loose. Haven't you ever wanted to mock the hell out of some religious idiot and then cackle madly at their impotent rage?"

He knew she did, because he'd read her mind. Just like it was nearly impossible to avoid running into an intolerant atheist at least once in your life if you were religious, the reverse also applied. Takami had indeed run into a religious i diot, several of them even. It had happened way back, in the United States when the still fairly new MBI had been presenting some of its innovations at a convention. Being Minaka's secretary, Natsuo had also been there with his at the time still alive boyfriend. The Westboro Babtist Church had apparently decided to cause a scene over it and made the whole thing uncomfortable and irritating.

"That's just childish." Takami said, trying to sound angry and shake him off, but enjoying the very relaxing shoulder rub far too much to put any real heat into it.

"There's no need to be so uptight Takami-chan, nobody will ever know that you gave in to your baser urges, not even you." Naruto continued.

Takami bit her lip. She really shouldn't stoop to that level, but it was so damn tempting to blow everything off and goof around until the horned menace decided to finally fix the world.

Naruto was persisten though and eventually her resistance crumbled under the mellow feeling the massage had given her and the desire to get back at all the people whining to her without any good reason.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Where are we?" Takami asked in confusion at their sudden change of location.

"Topeka, Kansas in the United States, the titular HQ of the Westboro Baptist Church if you want to be precise." Naruto answered.

"How did you know that I've got a grudge against these people?" Takami asked warningly.

"It wasn't that hard to look up that little incident you've had with them." Naruto lied. He didn't want her getting all huffy over a little mind reading when there was fun to be had.

She was mollified, but still gave him a few suspicious looks.

Paying no heed to the looks, Naruto started monologuing. "The Westboro Baptist Church, a place where narrow minded morons gather to use religion as an excuse to legitimize their groundless hatred of homosexuals. They are tolerated because the USA, just like most of the world, has a policy of religious freedom, a much too lenient one in cases like this. Attempts have been made to make them see the error of their ways, but this predictably failed because arguing with an idiot is pointless, you just get dragged down to their level and then defeated because they have more experience at being an idiot. Fortunately, this same quality of bullheaded stupidity also makes them exceptionally good targets because they are almost guaranteed to react explosively."

Takami snorted out a laugh at the last part, as well as the documentary style narrative that the entire short speech was delivered in. "So what are you intending to do?"

"_We_ are going to provoke them and then possibly make them shit their pants."

"Wait a minute here, I just agreed to come watch while you did your thing, I never agreed to help you do it." Takami verbally backpedaled.

"Don't be such a scientist Takami-chan." Naruto scolded. "Do something instead of just observing, it's fun."

"But I _am_ a scientist and I'm telling you that I don't want to do this!" She insisted.

"Do you also grunt about the scientific method when you have an orgasm?" He asked with a leer.

That comment earned him a look of flat irritation that completely failed to make him feel repentant for saying it.

"Anyway, right now you are not a scientist." Naruto continued. "Right now, you are the Chief High Priestess of the Church of Yaoi and Yuri and you are going to spread your message of boy on boy and girl on girl love to these filthy heathens."

"You _cannot_ be serious!" She said incredulously.

"Don't worry," He assured. "I'll be here in case they bring out the pitchforks."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Takami wasn't exactly sure how he had managed to convince her to do it, but he had in the end managed it. She suspected that he had somehow drugged her since she'd felt a bit lightheaded during one of his arguments.

Either way, Naruto had provided everything that she could possibly need for her 'presentation', including yaoi and yuri hentai and a movie theater sized split screen to display both at once on. Though the yuri scenes also had a good amount of shemale action, but you could hardly avoid that in a hentai. The obnoxiously loud volume at which it had started playing, right outside their building no less, had predictably gotten their attention very fast.

Much to Takami's hidden relief, she hadn't actually gotten the opportunity to do any talking, which had always been something that Minaka had taken care of in the past. She'd always disliked public speaking and that was when she wasn't deliberately provoking people to violence. Or talking about such an inane subject for that matter.

On the down side, she was now being chased by people with a variety of melee implements and even a few guns.

Under normal circumstances, the WBC wouldn't resort to violence because they were afraid of the repercussions, but these were not normal circumstances. With the world going to hell in a handbasket, they were being a lot bolder with their actions.

Fortunately, Naruto was true to his word and was nearby. She wasted no time in rushing next to him, while the group chasing her came to a screeching halt at the sight of his horned self.

Naruto cut through their fearful whispers by speaking in a thundering voice that made even Takami jump, having not expected it. "**Who dares refuse the message of my High Priestess and attempts to do her harm?**"

The impromptu lynch mob flinched and suddenly looked like a herd of deer in front of a truck. They didn't quite manage to get a word out before Naruto continued speaking.

"**You will know the price of this insult!**" He roared at them and raised his hands in the air portentously. "**The skies will rain fire and the seas will become as blood! All creation shall tremble before the burning standards of Hell and your wretched, stagnant souls will finally be MINE!**"

Naruto's overly dramatic posturing was punctuated by a fireball coming from the sky and crashing into the house and a bunch of sinister looking black wraiths appearing from burning portals, moving slowly towards the mob. The wraiths were harmless actually, but they didn't know that.

Very quickly, the area was completely empty of human life and both of them were snickering at their panicked escape.

"Alright, I'll admit that was fun." Takami admitted.

"Told you it would be." Naruto teased.

"One thing bothers me though..." She trailed off.

"What?" He asked.

"Did you practice that speech or something?" She finally asked.

"Nah, stole it from two different old video games and combined it together." He waved off dismissively but continued cheekily. "I'll give you cookies if you know which ones."

"How do you even have time to play video games with all the crap you get up to?" She asked in disbelief.

"I'm a god woman." He said back in exasperation. "Time is one of those things I have an infinite amount of."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**OMAKE** **the third.**

Xanna stared contemplatively at the field of scorched corpses and destroyed vehicles, wondering what to do next.

Once her initial fury at being insulted by that little pest that considered himself a 'Warrior of Allah' had subsided, she had concluded that these so called 'Islamic extremists' were rather one dimensional and dull. But still, they _had_ declared a holy war on her after the first two dozen or so people she'd killed and she did pride herself on finishing things that she started.

If anyone were to ask her, this was just another group of power hungry twits that were using religion as a cloak for their evil, but that was neither here nor there.

Right now, the issue was _what to do next?_

She knew of Naruto's intention to go back in time and prevent any of this from happening, so she didn't really need to bother with restraint like she'd been doing so far. A bit of a pity that he hadn't thought of it sooner really, as she would have transformed into the Ten Tails just to see their reactions.

Ah well, another time maybe. She had actually been considering just destroying the entire planet as a way of cleaning up the mess that Naruto had started, but she supposed that time travel worked too, even if it was a bit silly.

Xanna was actually rather perplexed by the three major monotheistic religions of this world. At first glance it would seem that all of them were nearly identical, with only the outer trappings and rituals being different, so it confused her as to why there was so much tension between them. Shouldn't they be able to relate more to each other than to the various atheists of the world?

Then again, the idea of slavishly worshipping some invisible entity in the sky because that's what someone wrote in a book was also quite confusing to her.

In the end she just put it down to regular human stupidity. If shinobi could make war on each other for centuries without even a good idea as to _why_ they were doing it, then the people of this world were certainly capable of much worse by dint of being more populous. Human intelligence was after all, inversely proportional to the size of the human population in any given area.

She was actually rather disappointed with the two religions that she'd gotten. At least Naruto had gotten himself declared a god in one of his, but what did she get?

She got sceptical bearded people who refused to believe her when she said she was a goddess and violent bearded people who insulted her and declared war on her when she did the same. What was the deal with those silly beards anyway?

_Humans._ She snorted derisively.

Granted, she hadn't bothered with the angelic image when she'd declared her godhood this time, so maybe it had been too much to hope for that they'd see past her horns.

All this bias against horns was another oddity that made no sense to her. They were a sign of her divine majesty and she'd received them when she'd ascended past her demonic status! It was completely backwards of them to think she was a demon _because_ she had horns.

An idea occured to her then. An idea that perhaps she had been emulating her husband and his crude methods a bit too much. After all, if these people were so hellbent on believing in an invisible god, then she might as well give them one.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The city of Jerusalem, a place that had been fought over so many times that it was actually rather funny if your sense of humor was twisted enough. It was one of the oldest cities in the world with a history spanning millenia. Due to its location and status as being considered holy by Christianity, Judaism and Islam it was a natural hotspot for controversy.

None of this was of any importance to Xanna whatsoever, aside from the fact that it was a prime location for stirring up trouble.

The inhabitants of the ancient city stared in mind boggling confusion as a bush somewhere close to the city center suddenly started burning with a flame that shifted color from red, to yellow, to blue, to green, to purple and back to red.

There was much stupefied staring before someone finally did something. Naturally, since this was the modern age, that something ended up being to pull out a phone and recording it, but it was something!

Xanna waited for about an hour so that a sufficiently large crowd had formed before proceeding with her plans. By this point, 'experts' had arrived to determine what was actually going on, though how anyone could call himself an expert on bushes that burned with multicolored fire without actually burning was beyond her. It wasn't as if this sort of thing occured regularly.

Either way, once the crowd had grown in sufficient numbers, she spoke in a thundering male voice. She'd have used her normal voice, but everyone seemed to be expecting a thundering male voice to issue forth from the bush and they were more likely to believe it was their god speaking if their own thoughts were confirmed. Basic human nature.

"**Hear my words my children and learn my wisdom! I have seen the rampages of the horned ones and come to give warning of how they may be stopped.**"

Everyone went silent as the voice issued forth and leaned forward with a bright fervor in their eyes, eager to hear the words of what they thought was their god speaking. Even people who weren't jewish were getting in on it. By now, Xanna's rampaging was known worldwide and many feared that they were next.

"**To the land of Japan you must send a great tithe of ice cream! You must do this to appease their hunger, or else the Horned Lord will come for your wives, daughters and even your mothers! Or you if you happen to be female. Act now, or all is lost!**"

With that final urging, the bush fire died out, leaving a perfectly healthy bush behind, from which a line of greenery spread as if the fire created life instead of consumed it.

The watchers stared in stupefication at the divine command they had been given, not understanding the logic in stopping two demons by feeding them ice cream.

Meanwhile, Xanna chuckled to herself and wondered if there was a way to measure how gullible humans were by the amount of ice cream they sent to Japan. They should have known that something fishy was going on thanks to the somewhat odd phrasing she'd deliberately used, but she doubted they'd pick up on it. Of course, she had painted Naruto as an even bigger pervert, but he'd agree that it was funny. And he would also like it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**As you've probably noticed, I've written three times the omake this time for three times the offense, so lets get this next part out of the way.**

**I meant no offense to any Muslims, Jews, Christians, fat people(I'm a little chunky around the edges myself), bearded people(I'd be bearded myself if my job didn't require shaving), whores(s'cuse me*cough* prostitutes), the people of Jerusalem, the people of Japan, The people of 'Murica (I meant America, sorry), The people of the Netherlands, the King and Queen of Norway, my ex-girlfriend's cat or Commander Shepard's pet hamster.**

**You may have noted that this doesn't sound very apologetic, and I'm sorry for that.**

**Now with that very insincere declaration being over with, if there is anyone out there in the deep reaches of the internet who has a skin thick enough to weather my bad jokes and sarcasm without taking offense, please take the time to review.**


	12. Chapter 12

**No review responses this time, as I've either answered them in PM's or the question was something I didn't want to answer :P.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Miya was for a change not too irritated with Kazehana, as her visit was timed most fortuitously.

Usually, the Wind Sekirei annoyed her quite a bit with her constant drinking, immodest mode of dress and generally indecent behavior.

She sympathised with the wind user, she really did. Kazehana had not been fortunate in life, first because she had been one of those unlucky enough to be speed grown so that she could aid in the defense of Kamikura island so many years ago and then because her reaction had been rejected. The fact that she had reacted to a piece of slime like Minaka was irrelevant, the rejected reaction had damaged her either way. Though in that particular situation there had been no way for her to come out of it unscathed and being rejected had perhaps been the lesser of two evils.

Keeping all this in mind, Miya was pleased to see that Kazehana had somewhat shockingly reduced her drinking to levels that were actually tolerable. She was still dressed as immodestly as ever and seemed to take some kind of perverse delight over teasing poor Minato and even Homura with her gigantic chest, but she was willing to overlook that as long as it was kept within limits.

For a while anyway, then she would bring out the Hannya to restore order.

It had been instantly obvious that something had happened to get Kazehana in such a good mood and the Wind Sekirei had certainly not been shy about revealing it.

Apparently the very infuriating Uzumaki Naruto had gotten to her as well. How he managed to convince the extraordinarily romantic Kazehana that blocking her winging was a good thing and bedding her without engendering any resentment was a mystery to her. She well remembered how Kazehana had nearly killed the one other man she had slept with in a fit of fury, humiliation, confusion and half a dozen other feelings even if she herself was at least partly to blame for getting black out drunk in such a seedy area.

Kazehana's timing was fortuitous because Miya wanted to know more about the people she would be hosting in the near future.

Aside from knowing that Uzumaki was a shameless pervert, she knew only little. She knew that he was very powerful, highly perceptive and dangerously cunning. Miya was chagrined and rather disappointed with herself for not figuring out the last two of those sooner. Every single time that she received news of him, it had been accompanied by tales of how perverted he was and sometimes even a message from him that was clearly designed to provoke her.

And it had worked. She had been so busy being angry at him and plotting all the ways that she could get back at him during their inevitable meeting that she hadn't even properly considered that it might be exactly what he wanted. It had only been Homura's account of the horned man's sudden and extremely suspicious respectful attitude that had clued her in on the fact that he was playing games with her. She would be well on her guard when they met.

It disturbed her to think that this too might be exactly what he wanted.

Miya had found herself uncommonly impatient to speak to the Wind Sekirei in private. It had sorely tried her patience to simply wait and smile while her tenants were their usual lively selves and occupied Kazehana's time. It was an amusing sight, with Uzume ribbing the more mature Sekirei over the fact that she'd slept with Uzumaki, Musubi being her usual explosion of innocently curious enthusiasm, Matsu adding her own perversions into the mix and Homura's slight sulky demeanor because he hadn't gotten to kill Minaka.

Things finally calmed down after the evening meal as everyone slowly drifted off to their own rooms.

"What can you tell me about Uzumaki-san and his wife Kazehana?" Miya asked once they were alone.

"I can tell you that their relationship is very romantic, truly one of the greatest love stories I've ever heard!" The Wind Sekirei said enthusiastically.

"Yes, but what can you tell me about them as people?" Miya pressed, brushing aside the other woman's talk of romance with practiced ease.

"Well, he's a phenomenal lover that's for sure." Kazehana said indolently, accompanied with a sly smirk. "I think he might have ruined me for anyone else, but I can hardly complain since he warned me about it."

"I am not interested in your illicit relations with a married man, but what he is like as a person." Miya said pleasantly, but with a Hannya mask floating over her shoulder and glaring at the now disturbed Wind Sekirei.

"Okay, okay! I'll tell you, just put that thing away!" Kazehana said urgently.

"Ara? What thing are you talking about?" Miya asked quizzically with a slight tilt of her head.

Sighing at Miya's incredibly fake innocent act, Kazehana decided to just get to the point. "I probably can't tell you anything that you haven't heard already. He claims to be a god and that's a good a description as any, rarely misses an opportunity to be a pervert but still treats women well, if a touch bluntly. His stated goal is to create an empire under his rule in which the Sekirei will be able to live without being hunted."

"And has he told you how he intends to establish this empire?" Miya asked, somewhat suspicious. It sounded far too similar to what every government on this world wanted them for.

"I didn't ask." Kazehana said sheepishly.

It was Miya who sighed this time. Honestly, she knew that it had been a long time since Kazehana had done anything serious, but that really seemed like something that should be asked.

"But I don't think it's anything sinister if that's what you're worried about." The Wind Sekirei added quickly. "I was a bit suspicious too at first, but you just have to look at the cute way that he treats little Kuu-chan to see that he's not planning anything nefarious."

Miya knew of the child Sekirei, one of two that were currently out there. That she was being treated as a child should be treated was reassuring and spoke well for the horned menace, though she was leery of the idea of a child living with a known pervert.

"I doubt there's any use in trying to anticipate what he might get up too Miya, he tends to be a bit...unpredictable." Kazehana warned, breaking Miya out of her thoughts.

"We'll see." Was the only response. She fully expected that their meeting was going to be...difficult.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto made his way to the door upon hearing the impatient banging on it. He didn't even need to be a god to know that there was only one person that this could possibly be. He could practically hear the irritation in the knocking.

"Takami-chan, what brings you here?" He asked the de-aged woman and gestured for her to enter.

She marched in without answering, only giving him a nasty glare. She _was_ about to let him know _exactly_ how much _fun_ it had been to skulk around the MBI building in her panties and an improvised bra when another voice intruded.

"Mom's here?" The excited voice of Yukari came from another room, clearly having heard Naruto's greeting.

She ran into the room and was about to greet her mother, but then she caught sight of her and screeched to a halt. For a long few seconds, Yukari just stared at the familiar-but-unfamiliar woman without comprehension. Eventually, the sense of familiarity allowed her to place the features of her mother's face over the now much younger face. It helped that Takami had retained much of her good looks and body fitness as she'd aged, so it was not hugely difficult.

"Mom?! What the fuck?!"

"Watch your mouth young lady!" Takami snapped at her daughter.

"YOUNG LADY?! What the hell are you then?" Yukari screeched with just a touch of hysteria.

"Blame this idiot, he thought it'd be funny to make me eighteen again." Takami responded, gesturing at the grinning Naruto.

"Well...you're not wrong." He admitted.

"You made my mother the same age as me?" Yukari asked in disbelief, staring at the horned man.

"She wouldn't sleep with me." Naruto said petulantly, lips twitching as he struggled to push down a grin. Making bad impressions was so much fun.

"And you retaliated by making her young again?" Was the follow up question from Yukari, who was much confused by the logic.

"_That's_ what you're bothered about? You're not even upset or surprised that this pervert tried to seduce your mother?" Takami interjected disbelievingly, coming to the conclusion that Yukari had definitely been spending too much time around Naruto.

"He pretty much admitted that he was intending to seduce you when we met." Yukari explained, still staring at her mother and noting how similar they were. It would be almost like looking into a mirror if not for Takami's sharper features.

"And how else has he been corrupting you?" Takami asked dryly.

Naruto snorted at this. "As if the little pervert needed any corrupting. I wasn't kidding when I said that she groped me almost as soon as we met. Didn't know me for even five minutes and was already diving into my pants."

Takami took a deep breath to calm herself down. She had honestly thought that Naruto was exagerrating when he'd said that, but Yukari's burning red face said otherwise. "We will be having a talk later Yukari, but first I need to have a private conversation with Naruto."

Yukari nodded, dreading what that conversation was going to be about but also glad to see her mother again. Even if they were physically the same age now, Takami was no less formidable because of it.

"Naruto is it? So you've finally stopped calling me by my last name? And a private conversation? Come with me to the roof and I'll _conversation_ your brains out." The horned blond leered.

Instead of acknoledging his perverse implications, she just turned around and marched back down the hall to the roof access stairway.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Soooo..." Naruto started in a drawl. "What did you want to talk about?"

Turning to face him, Takami made sure to keep her gaze on his creepy slit-pupiled eyes instead of his bare chest. Funny how that bare chest had barely registered to her not very long ago, but now it seemed to be attempting to pull her eyes towards it. Stupid teenaged hormones.

"I'll agree to go with you to this empire you're planning to create, provided you answer some of my questions." She finally said.

Naruto grinned. He'd known that this was coming after their last encounter and had been waiting for it. That was why he'd told Homura to arrange for a dinner with Miya after all.

"Ask away."

"You told me that you're going to create this empire so that the Sekirei will be able to live in peace, without being hunted by greedy governments. From what I've seen you're plenty powerful enough to threaten them into backing off. I don't believe that you _need_ to create an empire to protect them, so why are you _really _doing it."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at her, surprised by her perception. He'd known she was smart, but he hadn't thought she'd figure that out. "True enough, I could do that. But Xanna wanted to build an empire either way and it's her turn to pick what we get to do."

"So you lied to me?" Takami said disapprovingly, her opinion of him plummeting. His blunt honesty had always been one of his better qualities.

"Not really." He rebuffed. "While the power hungry schemes of this world's politicians aren't an insurmountable problem, threatening them into compliance is far from being an optimal solution. The other option is to simply subjugate the entire planet, but then Xanna and I would have to deal with endless attempts at rebellion. The people here are far too used to taking their many freedoms for granted."

This time it was Takami's eyebrow that rose, though hers was a lot more cynical. "So you're going to subjugate a planet with a primitive people because they'll just accept your rule instead of causing problems?"

"I'm certain that I could do a better job of ruling the world than what the corrupt fools currently leading it are doing. I find it hard to imagine how I could do worse, but people tend to resist changes to their way of life quite stubbornly, even if they are good changes. All of that aside, if it wasn't for the Sekirei, Xanna would likely have suggested we take over Earth, either this one or another, specifically because of the challenge it would be. But with the Sekirei being in the picture, this planet simply has too many problems that I'm not willing to keep them exposed to."

"Such as?"

Naruto sighed and turned to look over the Shinto Teito skyline. "Why don't you tell me what you see when you look over the city?"

Frowning at the non-sequitur, she nonetheless did so. She figured that there was a point to this somewhere.

"It's a city." Takami shrugged. "I see, buildings, cars, people, that kind of thing."

"And that is exactly what it is." Naruto agreed, much to Takami's surprise. She'd expected that he would make some philosophical argument.

"And your point is...?" She prompted.

"What kind of city is it?" He continued without answering.

Forehead creasing in confusion, she tried to figure out what exactly he was getting at, but could come up with nothing in particular. "...a metropolis?"

"What kind of metropolis?"

Becoming ever more puzzled, she ventured another guess. "...a Japanese one?"

"What kind of people live in it?"

"Japanese people, obviously." Was her dry answer, needing no thinking to answer that one.

"As opposed to Chinese, Norwegian, Egyptian, Iranian or American people I suppose?"

Blinking in confusion at the seemingly random list of nationalities, Takami was annoyed to note that she _still_ had no idea what he was driving at. "Well there are minorities living in certain parts of it, but other than that yes, it's mostly populated by Japanese people."

Naruto gave her a small smile that was very unlike one of his usual feral grins. It made him seem a lot more attractive. Stupid hormones.

"I like this world Takami, there are a lot of interesting things about it and every corner of it has something unique to show, not to mention the endless number of ways that its people find to amuse themselves, I like that too."

"Is there some point to this discussion?" She asked tiredly, starting to get fed up with his constant digressing.

"But this world is rotten and I don't want that rot spreading to the Sekirei any more than it has already."

Her head snapped over to him at the sudden flat disapproval in his tone.

"Its people divide themselves from each other in a thousand ways. By religion, By the color of their skin, the country they were born in, the city they live in and a number of other ways. I thought this was a problem where I came from, but here it's a thousand times worse. Having the Sekirei stay here would make them a target for every bit of petty, narrow minded racism you can imagine. I can protect their bodies, but many of them are so very innocent. They deserve better than to be hated because they aren't from this planet or envied because of their powers."

"I know that's a problem, but is it really so bad that you'd call the world rotten?" She asked, feeling oddly intimidated. For all his antics and displays of power, she'd never been afraid of him before now.

"Do you have any idea how easy it would be to destroy the tenuous peace that most of the world currently enjoys? All it would take is openly declaring myself a god, showing a few magic tricks to prove it and then doing something that even remotely threatened to upset the status quo."

"I'm actually impressed that a blowhard like you managed to refrain from announcing your godhood on an international news network." Takami said cynically.

Naruto gave her a mysterious smirk.

"What?" She demanded.

His smirk only widened further at her confused suspicion. "Oh, nothing."

"Right." She said suspiciously, having the distinct feeling that she was missing something but unable to come up with any solid idea as to what that might be. "Well then just don't declare yourself a god."

"I wasn't planning on it, but there are plenty of other reasons why I'm taking them somewhere else." He explained, though his lips twitched into another smirk. "The system of law is flawed, giving the truly innocent nothing but a false sense of security at best while it coddles criminals and protects the rich and powerful. I never expected it to be perfect since people are learning as they go, but I most certainly did expect it to get better instead of worse."

"I know, but if the laws were harsher, it would strip away civil liberties and cause more harm than good. That's why they've become more lenient over time." She defended half-heartedly, knowing perfectly well that the system didn't work as well as it should. Minaka alone had committed more than enough crimes to earn himself the death penalty, but he got away with it because he was too rich and powerful.

"I know you don't really believe that, but nevermind. How about this insane system of loaning money and charging interest for it then? Pretty much every nation on the planet is heading towards economic collapse if it isn't there already, while a relatively small handful of people are looking forwards to it because it'll make them even richer."

"isn't that one of those conspiracy theories about the world being controlled by private bankers?" Takami asked sceptically.

"Yes..._theories_." He drawled, eyes shining with dark amusement.

"Are you saying it's true?" She asked in shock.

"I'm not saying it's false."

She looked at him suspiciously at the vague phrasing. "Are you messing with me on this?"

"I'm always messing with everyone Takami." He told her cheekily. "Besides, the truth doesn't matter since you're coming with me."

"You never seemed to have a problem killing people as a solution before, so if it _is_ true, you might as well do it to them too before we leave."

"How ruthless of you!" He exclaimed in delight. "But pointless I'm afraid. The nature of the system would only serve to corrupt whoever replaces these people who may or may not control the world from the shadows."

Rolling her eyes, Takami just huffed and let it go. In all likelihood it wasn't even true and he really was just messing with her. Probably. Maybe. Damnit.

"Conspiracies aside, I also don't want all these cute Sekirei living on a planet that is slowly becoming uninhabitable."

"Couldn't you undo that, being a god and all?" Takami asked sarcastically.

"I could." He admitted. "But that would just give everyone an excuse to continue doing it, because obviously, if a magical solution to their problem happened once, they'll think it's going to happen the next time too."

Takami had to concede that this was true. It would even give confirmation to all the wilfully ignorant people claiming that global warming didn't exist. At best it would just postpone the problem and make it ten times worse the next time it happened.

This was actually a problem that MBI might have been able to help with, since one of the technologies recovered from the Sekirei space ship were some extremely efficient solar panels and capacitors. Using those would have made a large dent into the need to continue burning fossil fuels. It had been a sobering experience to see just how little use was actually made of that technology worldwide despite having bought it from them at great expense.

"Another huge problem on this planet is-"

"Okay, I get it, things are bad and you could do better." Takami interrupted. "I'll agree to come with you, just stop explaining to me how screwed up Earth is. I don't want to brood over it the whole time until we leave."

"...fine." He said sulkily. He'd been looking forward to pointing out the flaws of democracy. The many, many flaws of democracy.

"Why are you upset?!"

"Once I bring you out of temporal stasis, you're going to need to learn that the mad scientist _always_ has to let the dictator they work for monologue." He told her.

"I've never let Minaka monologue to me and I'm certainly not going to let you do it." Takami said firmly.

"But I'm better than him!" Naruto insisted.

"I'm sure you are." She replied dryly, smothering a smile. The annoying blond was clearly just continuing this argument for fun at this point.

Silence reigned for a few minutes while they looked over the city, the wind making their respective lab coat and haori flap dramatically. And then Naruto broke it by speaking up.

"You want to celebrate our joining forces by having steamy hot sex?"

Takami's hormones screamed an enthusiastic yes, sparking erotic images in her mind of their near sex the other day as well as imagined scenes of what going all the way might be like.

"No." She said firmly, ignoring the slight dampening of her panties. It didn't help that this conversation had given her a new insight into what kind of man he was. His methods might be extreme and even brutal, but his heart was in the right place and he somehow managed to make those methods work without causing too much collateral damage.

He was also far too good at pleasing a woman, a fact which Takami was remembering with unfortunate vividness.

"One of these days, you are going to listen to your poor, lonely vagina and realise all the fun you've been missing out on."

By force of sheer gut reaction, Takami brought her leg around in a what was a rather impressive kick for a scientist and booted him off the roof.

Naruto fell towards the ground with a scream, causing Takami an instant of instictive horror that she had just killed a man before remembering what he was.

"Annoying, oversized, perverted ox." She muttered to herself and made her way back, intending to talk to her daughter now that she had time. It was simply unfair that he could always tell when a woman was turned on around him and unlike Minaka, her kicks did nothing but amuse him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_A few days later._

It was finally time for the long delayed dinner with Miya and Naruto found himself grinning in anticipation.

The purple haired landlady hadn't said anything about it being just him and Xanna, so he was bringing some extras. Granted, she had probably assumed that it would be just them, but Miya should have been wily enough to know what happens when you assume.

The extras in question were Karasuba, Takami and Akitsu.

The Black Sekirei wanted to come because she was sure that it was going to be amusing. They'd had one of their fights mere hours ago, so she was quite mellow right now and wouldn't try to provoke Miya to violence like she might have usually done. Her presence would also add tension between her and Miya to the tension between Miya and him...and the tension that Xanna caused everyone that didn't know her.

Takami had wanted to see her erstwhile son. Naruto was more than happy to bring her because she would add to the tension because of her history with Kazehana, who he knew was also going to be there. It was also another opportunity to seduce her.

Akitsu...well she had given them that pleading 'please let me come with you' look that told them she would be upset if they left her behind but wouldn't even consider complaining. It was remarkably hard to say 'no' when she did that.

Some others had wanted to come too, such as Kusano, Yukari and Yashima. Kusano had been convinced to stay at the hotel when he told her that there might be some fighting, as the little girl had a serious aversion to combat of any sort. Naturally, this meant that Shiina needed to stay with her and that also meant Yukari. The perverted teen Ashikabi had huffed and puffed over it for a while before capitulating, she had seen her brother not that long ago after all.

Yashima had wanted to go because she was curious about the enigmatic #01, as well as wanting to see Musubi again. The two of them had known each other in the labs too and had met again not long ago when Naruto had brought Musubi and Tsukiumi over for lunch after the spar he'd promised them.

Both of them had insisted on further spars, determined to eventually defeat him. Naruto was reminded strongly of Lee by that incident.

The hammer wielding Sekirei had elected to also stay at the hotel when she learned that Naruto was intending provoke the powerful Sekirei. She could meet or at least get a look at the mysterious Miya later, when there was less chance of dismemberment.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was finally time and Miya found herself uncommonly nervous. She hadn't had a meeting with equals since leaving the homeworld.

She may have adopted the customs of Earth and treated its people with respect, but they were not _equals_ and neither were any of her feathers. Respect as a fellow sentient was all well and good, but power was power. Since she was the only Pillar left, she had never expected to converse with an equal ever again and had accepted this fact, but by all accounts this Uzumaki Naruto and Xanna were plenty powerful enough to match her.

Takehito had been the only one to have impressed her enough that she had considered him anything close to equal. His vast intelligence and kind heart had made enough of an impression that she had even fallen in love with him and decided to adopt his culture. Miya would admit to herself that she had not been a very pleasant individual to be around before falling in love with him.

Her slight case of nerves was not helped by the fact that she knew that Uzumaki at least was playing some kind of game with her. First he was vulgar in the extreme and then he was suddenly respectful, it made no sense and was thus suspicious.

Nobody else seemed to share her nervousness though, which kind of irritated her if she were honest. It was unseemly for the strongest person at the inn to be the most nervous.

Musubi was nearly bouncing off the walls because of Naruto's pending visit and was in serious danger of making herself sick through sheer excitement. She'd been gushing about how strong 'Naruto-sama' was and how great of a teacher he was, since she had learned a lot of new combat tricks from her spar with him and the short instruction he'd given her.

Miya knew that the naive fist fighter didn't mean anything by it, but she couldn't help feel an irrational surge of irritation that Musubi had apparently learned more from Naruto than from her. It wasn't as if Miya herself was a hand to hand specialist, while Naruto clearly knew his stuff if what she'd heard of him was true, but it still annoyed her to see Musubi so happy because of that shameless pervert. Who knows what he could have been teaching her.

Kazehana was also clearly looking forward to his arrival, though she was not nearly as excitable about it as Musubi. The Wind Sekirei was simply lounging around and occasionally drinking some sake while glancing at the clock.

Uzume and Chiho were also looking forward to seeing their savior again, though Chiho looked a bit upset at her Sekirei and Uzume looked a bit mopey. She knew exactly why that was thanks to her many rubber duckies filled with listening devices scattered around the inn.

Uzume had tried to cajole the innocent Chiho into agreeing to an orgy with the horned duo and was now in the doghouse for it. Miya approved. Chiho was such a good girl.

Homura was just sitting there, looking as if he was resigned to the fact that the world would end soon.

Matsu had been chuckling to herself perversely at random intervals, clearly looking forward to Uzumaki's arrival. That one always did get her kicks from watching people argue.

The last person in the inn, one Sahashi Minato, seemed to be the only one sharing her nervousness, though unlike her he was completely inept at hiding it.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. The guests had arrived and Miya firmly crushed her nerves with an iron self-discipline. There was no room for weakness when talking to people as dangerous as they were, even if they were going to be pretending that they weren't all killers(for a while at least).

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**OMAKE**

"I hope you're happy now Naruto." Takami said sarcastically, reclining in her chair with her feet on the desk. She really wished she could smoke too, but the annoying bastard of a god that she was talking to wouldn't let the tobacco ignite because it irritated his nose.

"Well I'm pretty happy on a regular basis, but you seem to think I should be happy about something in particular." Naruto commented back, deciding to disregard the obvious sarcasm.

"Most of Europe has declared you a legitimate deity, America is still arguing about it but is probably going to do it too, Russia has already done it but is politely asking you to stay away, Canada is doing the same but even _more_ politely, Australia doesn't give a shit, portions of Africa would like you to take over the continent, while the remaining portions want you to stay out and you already know the reactions of Asia." Takami elaborated.

"Really? Why would portions of Africa want me to take over?" He asked, puzzled.

"It may have something to do with the fact that you've turned every bit of desert on the continent into stupidly fertile grassland and forest." Takami sarcasmed again and then continued even _more_ sarcastically. "Nice job on that by the way, obviously people will appreciate it instead of going to war over it in an attempt to grab as much as possible for themselves."

"It's not my fault that people are dicks." Naruto shrugged.

Takami had to concede that this much was true at least. "But why would you do that anyway? You had to know that it wouldn't end well."

"Two reasons. One, I dont like deserts and two, I saw hungry looking people."

Silence descended for a short while as both occupants gazed out the window in contemplation. Eventually the silence was broken.

"You really should consider stopping your wife sometime soon." Takami commented idly, not really caring anymore.

"Why?" Naruto asked curiously.

"Israel keeps trying to send us dozens of tons of ice cream every day and I suspect she had something to do with it."

"What makes you say that?" He asked, knowing perfectly well that it was indeed his wife that was to blame for it.

"Because this started happening right after a Youtube video about God speaking to the masses in Jerusalem went viral."

"That hardly seems like a reason to stop her."

"Then how about the fact that most of Islam is now considering her to be the End of Days?"

"Then I guess they'll be pulling a lot of..." Here Naruto made a dramatic pause for effect, pulled on a pair of sunglasses and then finished in a sly voice."...all nighters."

"YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH"

Takami looked around for the source of that 'YEEEAAAAHH' but predictably found nothing. Finally, she sighed and looked at Naruto in exasperation.

"One of these days, I really hope I can find whoever introduced you to the internet and murder them."

Though she had to admit the pun was sort of funny. Still terrible, but funny.

"It was a catgirl in the previous dimension whom I accidentaly threatened to rape and then gave her a diamond pussy as an apology."

Takami facepalmed and muttered almost indistinctly through her hands. "There are just so many things wrong with that sentence."

Silence descended once more, but this time it was much shorter and it was Naruto that broke it.

"Where is everyone by the way? The whole building is empty except for you and Minaka."

"I gave the entire company a paid vacation of indefinite length."

"Ah, I see you're finally finally taking advantage of the fact that everything will be undone...eventually." Naruto stated in realisation.

Takami nodded but didn't speak.

"Well since you've embraced the dark side, how about you help me pick my next target for mockery?" He proposed.

Takami gave it a few moments of thought before picking another one of those weird religions at random.

"Scientology."

"What the fuck is Scientology?" Naruto asked quizzically. It sounded weird.

"You've never heard of them?" Takami asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Nope, can't say that I have." He confirmed.

"Well I suppose that's not too surprising, they're mostly based in America after all." She said pensively.

"America again, what is it with that country?" Naruto muttered.

"It's like you said about the Westboro Baptist Church, too much religious tolerance." Takami pointed out. "Every nutjob with a half baked idea can write a book, dupe a few people to believe him and then demand that it be treated as a religion and the government just rolls over and goes with it."

"That's retarded." He frowned.

"Tell me about it and the best part is that the so-called 'church' of Scientology doesn't even have to pay taxes despite the fact that everyone with half a brain can see that it's just a marketing scam wrapped in religious hocus pocus." She added sardonically. "Though that one is a fact of life in more than just America, but there are at least a few countries that classify them as a cult or commercial enterprise."

"But why would religious organisations be exempt from paying taxes?" He asked, very much puzzled. He'd never bothered doing any actual research on religion.

_Note to self, prevent the formation of organized religion in the coming empire._ He said to himself mentally. That he and Xanna were going to end up worshipped was damn near inevitable and he didn't actually have too much of a problem with that, but he drew the line at building churches and making elaborate rituals. Useless waste of time and resources in his opinion and that was putting it mildly.

Pragmatism was one of the few things about being a ninja that he was actually good at.

"In theory so that the state can't interfere with religion and that religious organisations can't endorse political candidates, but in practice they do it anyway, they're just more sneaky about it." She explained with a fair dose of cynicism.

"And you wonder why I think democracy is a crap system?" The horned man asked dryly. "People in power make laws and then sidestep them when they become inconvenient, to say nothing of how corrupt it is. No wonder that only about half of the population actually bothers voting."

Takami shrugged, having nothing to say in defense of the system, particularly in light of the rather poignant fact that Minaka had been able to practically _buy_ the Japanese government. Especially since she was one of those people that had never bothered voting. Whoever was in charge of the country had always been a non-issue to her, she just did her science and left politics to other people. In retrospect, perhaps she should have paid more attention to what Minaka was doing.

"But getting back to the point, what the hell is Scientology?" Naruto prompted.

"Read this." She told him and brought up a website that explained the basics of the rather hokey 'religion'.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Later._

A group of like minded Scientologists had just finished up one of their meetings. Ironically enough, the main topic of conversation had been the horned duo and whether or not they were what Scientology classified as _Thetans_, omniscient, intristically good, non-material entities capable of unlimited creativity.

In the end they were leaning towards no, because Naruto and Xanna did not give the impression of being particularly good.

"So, you guys basically charge people money in exchange for making them relive traumatic events in a doomed effort to 'unlock' supernatural abilities that you couldn't possibly have, because you think that everyone is some kind of all powerful godlike thing that got trapped in a physical body after they created the universe." A voice drolled as if reading from a script.

Everyone turned to the voice and was shocked to see the very man that had been the object of their recent discussion. He was holding a pile of papers and examining them with intense scrutiny.

What they didn't know was that the papers were just a prop and the only thing written on it was a recipe for noodle soup.

Next to him sat a silver haired woman of Asian descent, dressed as a scientist and looking on with slight amusement.

"Well, are you going to actually _do_ anything?" Naruto finally asked in exasperation, having gotten bored of their shocked staring. He'd deliberately cast aspersions on their beliefs in the hopes of provoking them and it was annoying that they were too stunned at his appearance to take offense.

"Why are you here?" The group leader asked warily. He'd seen what this...creature...was capable of on the news.

"I came to tell you that all of your mothers suck in bed." Was the mocking response, which could be taken in two equally offensive ways. Sometimes, Naruto simply loved the beautiful ambiguity of the spoken language.

More than one face reddened with anger, but there were several people that didn't react to the rather juvenile insult.

"What are you?" One of the younger and more curious members asked.

"Horny." Was Naruto's standard, knee jerk reply to that question.

"What do you want?" The group leader asked, this time irritably.

"I'd like to show you something." The horned man said and held up a finger to indicate that they should give him a second. These guys were just too lame and he had decided to do something rather extreme

The group went silent in curiousity, wondering what this strange being intended to show them. They'd had a lot of trouble classifying him, so this whole thing was a very interesting experience for them despite the fact that he was irritating as hell.

Their curiousity was replaced by shock and horror when he grabbed his neck with clawed digits and ripped his own head off with a spray of gore that had them all covered in blood within moments.

Their shock was enhanced further when the now decapitated head shouted at them. "RUN MOTHERFUCKERS, MY BODY IS OUT OF CONTROL AND IT'LL RIP YOUR HEADS OFF NEXT! RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!"

The frantic screaming and stampeding out the door that followed was expedited by the madly cackling head that was thrown after them and the clumsy, zombie-like lumbering of the headless body.

Meanwhile Takami was staring in incredulous shock at what the crazy horned idiot had just done. She'd expected that he'd mock the Scientologists, not traumatize them for life. It didn't take her too long to calm down though, after which she brushed this off as another one of the things that Naruto did just because he could.

"Are you going to put your head back on now?" She asked blandly. At least he'd directed the blood spray away from her so that she was spotless even if the rest of the room looked like a slaughterhouse.

"Nope." The still decapitated head spoke and then vanished in a burst of fire, a new one growing from his severed neck so fast that you could barely even see the regeneration. Then he proceeded to stretch his neck to both sides in a cacophony of sickening cracks.

"Do you _have_ to do that?" Takami asked irritably, cringing when another series of cracks that sounded as if someone had thrown a bone into a woodchipper came from his neck.

"New vertebrae always feel weird if I don't stretch them." Naruto explained.

"Maybe you shouldn't go about ripping your own head off then." She snarked, having been startled by the act just as badly as the Scientologists he'd just traumatized. The only difference was that she knew the horned nutcase and was made of much sterner stuff than those wimps. "How can you even do that without dying?"

She'd kind of expected that decapitation would kill even him, she just hadn't thought that there was anyone that could actually do it.

"My existence isn't bound to my body anymore, so I can do whatever I want with it." He explained again, giving his neck a final roll and grunting in satisfaction when it no longer felt weird.

"But if you don't need your body to exist anymore, then why do you still bother with one?" She asked curiously, scientific interest now overcoming irritation.

"Have you even _seen_ my wife?" He asked back incredulously. "No way am I ever going to stop tapping that ass."

"That's it?" She asked in disbelief. "You're keeping a physical form so that you can have sex?"

"Pretty much." He shrugged. "Besides, non-corporeality is overrated. Who the hell would want to float around as a formless spirit for all eternity?"

"Scientologists apparently." Takami said with snide amusement. "You do know that you _technically_ personify the ultimate goal of their religion and you reject it for sex?"

"Well if you're gonna reject a religion you might as well do it for a good reason." He said sagely.

It got him a flat look from the scientist, whose definition of 'good reason' was vastly different.

"Wait, does that mean that Xanna _does_ need a body?"

"Have you even _seen_ how sexy I am?" He asked incredulously.

"Ugh." Was the only response that Takami could muster to that. Really, she should have seen that coming.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**OMAKE, part 2.**

_Somewhere in Europe._

Having gotten bored of the Middle East, Xanna had abandoned it and relocated to Europe with the intention of starting a religion of her own, because there was just no way that Naruto's religion was going to be better than hers.

Much to her chagrin, it would appear that her earlier rampaging was attracting only particularly irritating people.

Such as various crazy Satanists that wanted to end the world and people who were of the opinion that Islam needed to be exterminated. She didn't actually _care_ about Islam, as it had just been a minor distraction to her but everyone else was obviously taking it too seriously. Honestly, you kill a few hundred people that insult you and declare war on you and suddenly everyone thinks that you intend to bring about the end of the world.

None of that was of any particular importance to her right now though. At the moment her attention had been grabbed by the utter refusal to believe in her godhood that a man with very funny hair was displaying.

Seriously, it was strange hair, sticking up all over the place and giving the middle aged man a rather crazed look when he got excited.

Neither herself nor Naruto had ever really considered poking fun at Atheists in the same way that they had done to the various religious groups. Granted, this was mostly because Atheism had no convenient central organisation where you could easily find groups of them to poke fun at, but one reason was as good as any other.

But this funny haired man was exactly the type of Atheist that could be fun to mock and he was ever so conveniently right in front of her.

He was not the type of Atheist that took a cursory look at various religious writings, decided that it was a load of nonsense and dismissed it, but was willing to keep an open mind and not be unduly hostile to people that were religious.

No, this was the type of Atheist who took the existence of religion as a personal insult and missed no chance to insult, harass or rage at anyone that so much as mentioned religion in his presence. This was the type of man who got angry if you told him 'God speed' before he went on a trip or said 'God bless you' when he sneezed.

Basically, while he was quite correct in his assertions that religion was a load of bull(in this particular Universe at any rate), he was also a massively irritating asshole about it.

Xanna decided that she liked Europe. It had all the best food, sweets and there was always something going on that was at least passably interesting. Such as the idiot currently trying to prove that she was some kind advanced alien life form that had come to Earth in an attempt to subjugate Humanity.

Yes, he also considered himself an amateur scientist because he could use a few complex sounding words and understood that the Universe was very big but made of things that were very small.

"Just admit it! You must be the vanguard of an alien invasion, advanced scouts to soften up our planet before the main force arrives. That's why you're spreading this religious bullshit, to dumb down our civilization." He insisted.

"Why would the world need softening up if such was the case?" She asked pointedly. "Any race that has mastered space travel could subjugate you from orbit without needing to send a single foot soldier on the ground."

"Because you need the planet in one piece! You can't just bomb it from orbit." The man declared triumphantly.

"Furthermore, why would this pitiful world need softening up if I were a typical representative of this alien species you insist I am part of. I am easily capable of subjugating this world by myself." She argued further instead of bothering to refute the point. Orbital bombardment would still keep the planet relatively whole.

"I don't believe you!" He insisted.

"Oh? Then explain my powers." Xanna asked archly, pointing a clawed finger and levitating him.

"P-Psychokinesis!" He stuttered, shocked and afraid, but unwilling to concede the argument. "It is theorised that an advanced enough organism should be capable of moving things with their mind."

Dropping him painfully on his ass, she conjured a ball of fire.

"Pyrokinesis!"

A ball of water.

"Hydrokinesis!"

A ball of lightning.

"Umm..err..." The man stuttered, clearly looking for the right word. "Fulmokinesis?"

Next she created a pyramid made of rock, which in retrospect may or may not have been a good idea. It was funny seeing him nearly pass out though.

"_You_! You were the one who created the pyramids. It was all just a big conspiracy! For thousands of years you've been meddling with human development! That's why demons are always depicted with horns isn't it?!"

At this point, Xanna came to understand that aside from being rabidly opposed to anything even vaguely religious, that the man was also an alien conspiracy nut. Fun.

"Yes, I created the pyramids, but do you know why?" She said with a sigh, deciding that arguing with this one was simply pointless. Mind you, a reality probably existed somewhere in the infinite multiverse where he was correct, but that had no bearing on the here and now.

Why did Naruto have all the luck with such things? It couldn't possibly be a problem with her, because she was perfect and anyone who failed to recognise this fact was a fool.

Alright, even she knew that she was overdoing it with the arrogance that time, but her idiot husband really did have too much luck. It was a supernatural power completely separated from his godhood.

Meanwhile, the sceptical alien conspiracy nut with funny hair was warily staring at the now floating miniature pyramid and thinking of her question. Now that she had finally admitted to her role in the creation of the original pyramids in Egypt, he couldn't wait to ask her some questions that would help him prove that religion was just a massive hoax designed to keep humanity stupid.

"I would assume that they were meant to serve as examples of power to the primitive humans of the time." He ventured.

"Wrong, they were used to squash groups of idiots who annoyed me." She said flatly and propelled the mini pyramid towards his head at terminal velocity, breaking his neck as a consequence. Usually she wouldn't have killed someone over such a thing(seeing as she had been the one to start it), but the man had been _really_ annoying and time travel would undo the act anyway, so the only effect was that it made her feel better.

"Note to self, institute a no tolerance policy for this type of defective idiot in the coming empire."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**OMAKE, part 3.**

"So I've been going over the list of minor religions that I haven't mocked yet when I came across something very interesting." Naruto was saying to Takami.

"How have you not gotten bored of doing this yet?" She asked back in disbelief.

"Because people still get upset over it." He admitted.

Rolling her eyes, she decided that sarcasm was merited. "So what is it this time? Are you going to mock the Church of Google?"

"Don't you dare make jokes about Google and most especially not his sister Booble." He snapped, but was unable to keep from grinning, which ruined the joke.

"What the hell is Booble?" Takami asked in confusion.

"It's like Google, but for porn." He explained wryly.

Takami gave him a very odd look and continued speaking in a wary tone that might have been used when a caveman saw fire for the first time. "You're surrounded by beautiful women day in and day out, but you still watch porn and presumably masturbate to it?"

"First of all, real men don't masturbate, THEY FUCK THEIR FIST!"

While the scientist was blinking in shock at suddenly having that yelled in her face at ear splitting volume, Naruto continued.

"And secondly, no I don't watch porn, but I _was_ curious when I first started using the internet." He explained in a much more normal tone of voice. "Some people on this planet are fucking sick by the way and that means a lot coming from me."

About ten seconds passed in silence, before Takami finally shook her head and decided that it would be best to just pretend that the last two minutes had never happened. "So which religion did you pick this time?"

"Pastafarianism. I knew that I had to do something with that as soon as I saw it."

"Isn't that the parody religion that worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster?" She asked with an amused smile.

"Oh yes, but I'm not going to mock them. Those guys have a sense of humor, which means there's no way that I could possibly upset them by poking fun at their religion."

"Then what _are_ you going to do?"

Naruto grinned widely.

"No, just no." She said firmly.

"Do you even know what I'm planning?" He asked, amused.

"I don't need to know what you're planning, that stupid grin of yours is telling me everything."

The stupid grin in question widened even further.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Italy was known the world over as the land of pasta, which was the main reason that Naruto was there.

Standing invisibly on a building that overlooked a large urban square in the city of Rome(whose name he hadn't bothered to look up), Naruto prepared for his latest stunt. He'd needed to wait a little so that it was actually daytime in this part of the world, but now it was finally time.

At least the delay had given him time to learn how to speak Italian.

The customary crowds that customarily walked around the square looked around in confusion as a deep note sounded, as if some great horn had been blown. Then someone screamed in fright while looking at the sky, naturally getting everyone's attention. More screaming followed as they beheld the descent of His Divine Noodliness the Flying Spaghetti Monster, dripping meatball juice and waving His undulating noodly appendages while His googly eyes surveyed those beneath Him.

Naruto spoke before full fledged panic could ensue, infusing his voice with a calming compulsion while he was at it. There was no way that anyone was going to _actually_ calm down without the compulsion. "**Be not afraid, the Flying Spaghetti Monster does not seek to do harm. Rather, He is here to spread the joy of Noodles and has as such chosen this land, knowing that it is the people of Italy who most well know the joys of Pasta.**"

The crowd calmed and looked towards the horned man standing under the Flying Spaghetti Monster with more curiousity than fear, in no small part due to the compulsion Naruto had used.

At this point, Naruto felt that he should lay off the compulsion and spoke without it, but still kept his voice boomingly loud to make sure he was heard. "**To understand the Divine Spaghetti Monster, one must eat the Divine Spaghetti Monster.**"

Upon saying this, large cups full of spaghetti and meatballs descended into the hands of those below, filled with steaming, delicious smelling pasta and meatballs. There was even a fork provided.

The people were more than a bit dubious of this, despite the mouth watering aroma wafting from the cups. Fortunately, there was always that one brave(or reckless) soul that was willing to give it a try.

"This is amazing!" The young man in his early twenties exclaimed as he shoveled some of the pasta and meatballs into his mouth. He'd missed lunch. "The best pasta I've ever had!"

"**Let me tell you the tale of how I came to know the joy of noodles.**" Naruto continued once he saw that more and more people were giving it a try and discovering it to be among the best things they'd ever eaten.

"**I was but a boy of seven at the time, orphaned and alone, having not eaten in days and having nowhere to take shelter from the rain. I came upon a food stand then and wished only to rest my feet for a few minutes somewhere dry. There I met the prophetess Ayame and her father, who gave me food despite having nothing to pay them with and that food was noodles.**"

The crowd was firmly attentive by then, occasionally slurping up a stray noodle. Most everyone had a soft spot for stories of orphans in need and the kindness of strangers.

"**Over time I came to know Ayame and she became as dear to me as a sister, for her heart was golden and she wished only to see people smile when they ate her noodles. The name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was not known there, but His purpose was and Ayame knew it without needing to be told. That purpose was to feed the hungry without heed of who they were.**"

"What happened to her?" One curious soul shouted out.

"**Alas, she was murdered along with her husband and infant child, by a man who cared nothing for her kindness and sought only power. But her legacy lives on, while he is reviled and will soon be forgotten by all who knew of him. Join me if you will, in a moment of prayer for her departed soul.**"

The crowd did so, because no matter how ridiculous it was to say that someone was the prophetess of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, it was disrespectful in the extreme to point that out when you were asked to pay your respects to what sounded like near saintly young woman.

"**Flying Spaghetti Monster who art in Heaven,**

**hallowed be thy name.**

**Thy meatballs come,**

**thy noodles be done,**

**in cups as they are on plates.**

**Give us this day our daily sauce**

**And forgive us our cheese,**

**As we forgive the cheese for its unhealthy nature.**

**And lead us not into obesity,**

**But deliver us from hunger.**

**RAAAAmen."**

There were many titters of laughter from people who found the 'prayer' hilarious but weren't sure if it would be wise to laugh or not.

"**It is blasphemy in the eyes of the Noodle God to force down laughter.**" Naruto declared, grinning when people laughed more openly.

Ayame would be pissed at him if she knew that he'd just turned her into a religious figure, but she would also laugh and hug him...after she brained him over the head with a frying pan.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Meanwhile, somewhere else._

Xanna looked into the distance with a frown.

"My husband is doing something ridiculous again."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The phenomenon that would later become known as 'The Noodle-ing' continued uninterrupted for some time yet, with ever more people coming to see the Flying Spaghetti Monster and partake of His bounty. Included in this number were a great many homeless looking for a free meal.

Eventually though, it was interrupted by a sinister shadow obscuring the sky.

The titanic form of the Ten Tails hovered across the city and towards the Flying Spaghetti Monster, it's many tails undulating in a manner similar to the noodles of its prey, but spreading across vast tracts of the city.

Xanna would have preferred to stomp towards it, but that would end up destroying all of Rome, which might have been just a bit excessive. And it would also turn a joke into the slaughter of millions.

Predictably, people freaked out, forcing Naruto to once more use a calming compulsion in his voice to prevent a panic.

"**Hold, you are in no danger!**" He had to quickly wrack his mind for an explanation to this event. He knew that Xanna was trying to ruin his little bit of fun for her own amusement and he intended to spin it in such a way that she failed. "**This creature is called the..umm...Omnomnivore and has been lured here by the delicious smells of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.**"

The people watched in shock and horror as the Flying Spaghetti Monster was devoured whole by the immense one eyed creature, disappearing down its gigantic, fanged maw. Even the calming compulsion was not enough and the crowd scattered in panic.

When everyone had fled, Xanna shrunk back into her usual humanoid form.

"Husband, did you just refer to me as a 'creature'?" She asked pointedly, not bothering with the booming voice as they were now alone in the square.

"You ruined my religious noodle experience." He said accusingly, not responding to her question.

"Yes." She said unrepentantly and without offering any explanation.

"You know you're lucky that you're a goddess, or else your ass would qualify as a celestial body from eating that much spaghetti and meatballs." He said wryly, conceding that she had one upped him this time.

"Have you learned nothing my foolish beloved? My ass has always been celestial, as it is part of my celestial body."

Naruto blinked, grinned and snickered. "Oh, I see what you did there."

"As well you should." Xanna said haughtily, turning away slightly in an obvious snub.

Naruto wasn't going to let it happen that way though, so he grabbed the aforementioned celestial ass and rotated her back towards himself for a kiss.

She didn't fight him too hard and instead returned the kiss. When the kiss ended, Naruto sprayed a gout of water in her face.

"You splashed me." She said disbelievingly, as if she didn't quite believe that he'd dared do such a thing. Sure, he'd done it plenty of times before, but she honestly hadn't expected it this time.

"Vengeance is mine!" He cackled and chakra skated away at a ludicrous speed.

Growling at his retreat, she dried herself and shot after him, intending to retaliate with ten times the force. Splash her and then flee by using the very trick that _she_ had taught him will he? He would rue the day that he decided to poke holes into her ego!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**I know, I know. I am a terrible, awful, abomination of a human being.**

**I just saw that cliffhanger with Miya and suddenly found myself unable to continue writing xD, I just ****_had_**** to leave it there. There is also the fact that I'd have serious trouble dividing the chapter anywhere else without having it turn into some kind of 20k word monster(probably, it's just a guess since I haven't written that part yet). I know that it was also a fairly short and uneventful chapter because of this, but the next one is guaranteed to be quite long...probably. My predictions are pretty dodgy.**

**On the bright side, the next one will probably be the final chapter, providing that no new plot bunnies show up and I already know how I'm going to write it. It might take me a while before I can type it up though, since my work hours will be somewhat annoying for the next few days, I'll try to put it up as soon as possible though.**

**EDIT: I forgot to give credit to LoveLifeForever for that Atheism joke, he gave me the idea for it :P.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Here we go, another chapter posted, this time longer.**

**For those of you who have guessed that the 'funny haired Atheist' in the previous chapter omake was a crack a Giorgio Tsoukalos, congratulations! Though I don't know if the man is actually an Atheist and he's ****_probably_**** not as annoying and/or dense as my little caricature suggested.**

**I've actually watched quite a few of those 'Ancient Aliens' documentary things that he stars in. It was sort of interesting...for the first few episodes, before they started repeatedly showing the same 'evidence' over and over again as an explanation for how aliens did it, then I started falling asleep.**

**Review responses:**

**that guy:...I guess you didn't read my AN in chapter 11, or else somehow feel that it doesn't apply to you.**

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Miya had certain preconceptions about what she would see when she opened the door. These preconceptions consisted of a tall, horned blond with his chest exposed indecently and a tall, horned woman with white hair and dark skin.

These preconceptions were shattered when she opened the door and saw not just the expected duo, but also Karasuba, Akitsu and a teenaged girl that looked incredibly familiar. That was not all though, as Naruto was actually wearing a pale red shirt under his haori, which was something that defied all logic from what everyone told her.

Of course, their mode of dress was entirely secondary to the fact that _Karasuba_ was there. It had been years since the last time they'd crossed paths, but that meeting had been as distasteful to Miya as ever.

"What is _she_ doing here?" Miya hissed dangerously, hand already going for her sword. She only peripherally registered that the Black Sekirei was unarmed and appeared both unsurprised and unbothered by the hostile greeting. In fact, she was looking downright relaxed, which was quite odd for her to say the least.

"Greetings Asama-san." Naruto said with perfect manners, addressing Miya by her last name, using proper honorifics and even giving a proper traditional bow.

Miya blinked at the incongruous sight of the man which she had expected to be deliberately unbearable using such formalities. Still, the greeting did serve to highlight the fact that she had just committed something of a faux pas by adopting a threatening posture on first sight, even if there was bad blood between her and Karasuba, while the supposedly near barbaric pervert was the very height of politeness.

She had a suspicion that this had been done on purpose.

"Greetings Uzumaki-san." She said back at last, exercising a great deal of self control as she returned the bow. "May I ask why Karasuba is with you?"

"I was certain that either Homura or Kazehana had informed you that Karasuba was in my company and you had not specified how many of us may come." Naruto explained.

Miya's eye twitched imperceptibly. Yes, she had known that Karasuba had abandoned MBI in favor of Uzumaki, but this was obviously done to provoke her and it had worked. Well no matter, she could control herself for one evening and Karasuba was not being her usual self in any case. She could hardly tell them to leave now that they were here, at her invitation no less.

"Very well then." She said, eye ticking again when Karasuba gave her a lazy smirk.

Naruto moved the conversation forward before Karasuba could get any ideas about saying anything to provoke Miya. He didn't want the whole setup going to waste. "May I introduce my wife, Xanna."

He gestured to the horned woman, who gave Miya a look but did not otherwise react. They had decided that it would be better to let Naruto handle all the talking at first, as Xanna's pride would push her to immediately establish dominance over Miya.

Xanna had never truly understood how Naruto managed to discard his pride in a heartbeat if it suited his purposes, even if those purposes were sheer amusement. Anytime that she attempted to do the same, she was left with a seething desire to demonstrate superiority, which was oftentimes the reason behind the violence of her and Naruto's lovemaking. That, and it was also fun.

Either way, he was the one who wanted to go for elaborate plots this time instead of brute force, so she would oblige him. She knew the value of a good plot after all, and wouldn't go ruining it for him.

"I am not sure if you already know Akitsu." Naruto was saying, now gesturing to the Ice Sekirei.

Akitsu gave Miya a slight nod but no more than that. First and most powerful Sekirei Miya might be, but that meant nothing to Akitsu.

Miya had seen Akitsu only a few times and that had been as a child, but she was aware that the Ice Sekirei had had a miserable life. But she was clearly much better off now. She was wearing a silk kimono of exceptional quality and looked content, though it was hard to see on her perpetually sleepy expression. Her hair was parted to proudly display the Sekirei crest on her forehead, very much contradictory to her previous shame of it.

"And you've definitely met Sahashi Takami, though you may not recognise her right away." Naruto finished.

Miya blinked again and took a closer look at the teenaged girl. Now that she knew where the familiarity came from, it was easy to place the sharp features of MBI's lead adjuster.

"She's had a youthful experience recently and is physically eighteen years old again." He explained, seeing Miya's confusion.

Takami grumbled something under her breath, but too quietly for anyone else to hear.

"I...see." Miya did not actually see, but that would have to wait. "Please come in."

"Forgive the intrusion." Naruto gave the proper answer as the group of five walked in, taking off their shoes as they passed the entrance and laying them to the side.

Except of course for Naruto and Xanna, who remained barefoot.

"Not to worry Asama-san, our feet are quite clean." Naruto assured, seeing her staring at their feet and showing her his sole.

Miya saw that it did indeed look as if he'd just stepped out of a bath and not as if he'd been walking on asphalt and dirt. Useful trick that.

"You are a bit early, so dinner is not quite finished yet, but I can bring out some tea if you would like." The landlady suggested.

"That would be wonderful, thank you." Was his reply.

She led them into the dining/living room of the inn, which happened to be already occupied by Minato, Musubi, Homura, Kazehana, Chiho and Uzume. In short, everyone bar Matsu, who was lurking upstairs in her lair.

"Make yourselves comfortable while I go make the tea." Miya said and went into the kitchen, where she intended to eavesdrop on the conversation shamelessly. There was simply far too much that was suspicious about the situation and she intended to figure it out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There was a short moment of intense awkwardness as everyone except for Naruto, Xanna, Akitsu, Musubi and Karasuba uncertainly looked at each other, unsure of what to do. The fact that most of these people found or had recently found the Black Sekirei extremely intimidating was definitely a factor in this.

And then the moment was broken by Musubi's joyous exclamation.

"Naruto-sama, you're finally here! And you brought Karasuba-sama too! This is great!"

"Nice to see you again too Musubi-chan." Naruto returned her greeting with a restrained grin. Musubi was really something else, it was like looking a clueless, super energetic puppy. With breasts, really big ones.

while Karasuba simply nodded and sat down next to the fist fighter, since she was one of the few people that she was on good terms with. Her presence seemed to be seriously creeping out the wimpy looking Ashikabi that Musubi had gotten herself, which was also a plus.

In short order, everyone had settled themselves around the table. The head of the table was naturally empty, as it was reserved for Miya. Homura was seated closest to her spot on one side. Naruto ended up sitting next to Homura, with Xanna on his other side and Akitsu on Xanna's other side.

After Akitsu came Chiho, who was still giving Uzume a bit of a cold shoulder for suggesting an orgy, and then a single empty chair where Matsu would inevitably sit.

On the other side was Kazehana, a sulky looking Uzume, Takami, Minato, Musubi and finally Karasuba.

This meant that Naruto was sitting across from Uzume.

Just As Planned.

Takami deigned not to speak to her son yet, wondering how long it would take him to figure out she was his mother. Judging by the coltish 'how did a sheep like me get surrounded by wolves?' look he was throwing around the room, it might be a while. Clearly Naruto had made a scary first impression on Minato, not that it was a very hard thing to do.

Still she was sort of impressed when he mustered up the courage to speak when the greetings were finished, and to Naruto no less.

"U-Um, Naruto-san, I would like to thank you for saving Musubi from Higa's Sekirei." He nervously said, but managed to speak with minimum quaver.

Naruto gave the boy a toothy grin, making him visibly shiver. "No problem, I do like Musubi after all and we've had a talk about the proper course of action when you get attacked by overwhelming numbers."

"I'm supposed to run away." Musubi announced with a fist pump, apparently pleased that she remembered. Then she deflated sulkily upon realising what she'd just said. "But I don't like running away, I want to fight!"

Karasuba chuckled, drawing many perturbed looks at the genuine humor in the sound.

"You can fight me anytime you want," Naruto offered amusedly. "that way you can fight with no chance of dying."

"Yay!" The enthusiastic Sekirei cheered. "You're the best Naruto-sama."

"I suppose I am." He agreed, drawing much eyerolling from Homura, Takami, Karasuba Uzume and Kazehana.

"By the way big bro, what's the deal with the shirt?" Uzume asked, shaking off her slight funk at having Chiho mad at her. "I was starting to think you had a phobia of having your chest covered or something."

Naruto looked down at the shirt he was wearing, privately forcing down his irritation at the article of clothing. He _really_ didn't like wearing it, but it was for the sake of the plan so he would bear with it.

"Well, I know how Asama-san feels about these things, so I figured it would be polite to accomodate her." He explained, lying through his teeth the whole time.

There was much disbelief being directed at him due to that statement(both the words and how polite it was) from people who didn't believe him in the slightest, which Naruto promptly ignored.

"What the hell are you up to?" Homura hissed to the horned man quietly from the side of his mouth.

"Nothing." Naruto said back, also from the side of his mouth.

"Whatever it is, just stop it!" The Fire Sekirei insisted. He knew that it couldn't possibly bode well if the oafish plan wrecker was actually doing some plotting of his own.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Naruto lied like a champion.

Meanwhile, Kazehana had been giving Takami an odd look, clearly trying to find out why she was so familiar but not quite managing to succeed. Finally she decided to just ask.

"Excuse me, but have we met? You look very familiar."

Takami sighed imperceptibly, already knowing what was going to follow. Being young again was nice and all, but the constant shock was more than a little irritating. Not to mention the hostility she would likely get from the Wind Sekirei for it. "Yes Kazehana, we have. It's me, Takami."

Kazehana froze in surprise. "Takami?"

Minato's head snapped to the strange teenaged girl at his side so fast that he nearly broke his own neck. "Mom?!"

He was rather horrified at himself for thinking that she was cute earlier, sort of like Yukari but with sharper features.

A small torrent of similar exclamations followed from those who hadn't known, such as Uzume and Homura. There was even a thump from the ceiling that clearly indicated that Matsu was also shocked. Musubi also made an exclamation, but she did it because it looked fun, rather than any actual shock.

"Yes Minato, it's me and I'm eighteen again thanks to that blond ox over there." The scientist confirmed for her son, gesturing towards the grinning Naruto.

"You're younger than me?" Minato spluttered, simply because he didn't know what else to say.

"Huh, I guess I am." Takami said absently, having not really considered that angle before. It certainly was a strange situation to be younger than her own offspring.

"But that's..." Minato started, not really knowing what he wanted to say.

"Just get over it already Minato, it's not that big a deal." Takami said irritably, wanting to just get past this already.

Minato ducked his head meekly and obeyed. Eighteen or not, his mother hadn't lost any of her scariness.

"I guess it'll be easier for you to suck Minaka's dick now." Kazehana snipped.

"I'm disappointed in you Kazehana." Naruto said with a frown before Takami could say anything in return.

"What? Why?" The Wind Sekirei demanded, feeling perfectly justified in her anger at Takami.

"Neither one of you wants anything to do with Minaka anymore, there's no reason to get angry over him now. Besides, she might have saved you from being bonded to that nutcase." He explained.

"She didn't have to be such a bitch about it." Kazehana muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Sorry." Takami muttered back at the same volume, gaining a look of surprise from the Wind Sekirei.

Takami knew that she really _had_ been a bitch about that perceived victory over Kazehana. She'd been just a geeky twenty something scientist back then and had a certain amount of social insecurity, so having the charismatic Minaka choose her over the gorgeous Wind Sekirei had been a great personal victory and it had somewhat gone to her head. Her character had only hardened later on, after she'd needed to start fixing Minaka's messes and eccentric outbursts.

In retrospect, acting so smug in front of a scorned woman who had the power to command the wind had not been a particularly wise decision. Years later, when she'd become thoroughly disillusioned by Minaka, she had suddenly realised that it was a small miracle that she was still alive. That had been a day when she'd just stared at the wall for two hours, going over every smug little look she'd given Kazehana and wondering why she hadn't been turned into paste a long time ago.

There was a moment of awkward silence as everyone was unsure of how to continue from then on.

Minato was especially poleaxed as he had no idea that his mom used to be involved with that crazy MBI president.

"What's a bitch?" Musubi asked innocently.

"A female dog." Naruto explained. Explaining things to Musubi while people were around was always fun. "It's also an word that you call another woman when you want to insult her."

"But why would calling a woman a female dog be insulting?" Musubi asked, perplexed. "Dogs are great!"

"That...is an excellent question." Naruto replied pensively. Come to think of it, why _was_ that even a slur? Sure, it sounded bad, but if you think about it, most dogs had a better personality than your average human, so it should really be a compliment rather than an insult.

_Hey baby, you're so hot you must be a bitch in heat._ He almost snorted at the ridiculous, newly made pick up line. That probably wasn't going to catch on.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Miya had of course been eavesdropping on everything(except for the whispering between Homura and Naruto, which had been too quiet to catch), but it had been less informative than she'd hoped, just small talk really. There had been no clues about what Uzumaki was planning and he'd been the very model of politeness. His wife had said nothing at all and seemed content to simply sit there silently.

The only real surprise had been Karasuba's laid back manner. Karasuba didn't _do_ laid back. Despite still being irritated by the Black Sekirei's presence, she was also intrigued.

Either way, it was time to bring out the tea. There was only so long you could delay the act of boiling water and adding tea leaves before it started being very odd.

And she really didn't want the naive Musubi learning any more questionable things.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The awkward silence that followed was broken by the arrival of Miya, who brought in a tea set with enough cups for everyone.

Being the hostess, she grabbed the large teapot after everyone had a cup and went to pour the tea.

She hadn't quite been able to help herself from enacting a little petty revenge for Naruto's previous rudeness and had made sure to keep the tea boiling hot, while using her thinnest cups.

For the others, she poured the tea in such a way that they didn't need to actually hold the cup while she poured, but she used his large size as an excuse to enact her plan.

"I cannot quite reach around you Uzumaki-san, could you please lift your cup?" She asked pleasantly.

"Of course Asama-san." Naruto agreed easily and carefully lifted the cup. Damn thing was so fragile that he would probably destroy it if he dragged a claw over it gently. "And please just call me Naruto."

Miya began pouring the boiling hot tea into the incredibly thin porcelain cup, hiding a smirk at his expected burned reaction. "As you wish Naruto-san, please call me Miya then. That is an interesting name if I may add, I assume it means 'maelstrom'?"

Naruto also hid a smirk at her rather transparent attempt to burn his fingers. It was going to take a lot more than that to make him even slightly uncomfortable. "Actually, I was named for the ramen topping."

Hiding her irritation that he hadn't spilled any of it or even twitched, she sat back down and continued the painfully forced small talk. "How surprising, I would not have thought that a man such as yourself would be named after something so inane."

"Well I suppose I didn't look very impressive as a fetus." Naruto commented dryly and then continued pensively. "Either that, or my parents were intending to eat me after I was born. Good tea."

Before anyone had time to do anything that look deeply disturbed by the idea, Xanna spoke up.

"Indeed." She agreed, also drinking the boiling hot tea. "Could be hotter though."

Her comment drew some baffled looks at that statement, since the tea would be steam if if was any hotter.

Akitsu made a small noise of appreciation, beads of frost on her cup betraying the use of her powers.

Everyone else simply had to deal with the too hot tea the normal way.

"What of yourself Xanna-san? I have never heard a name quite like yours before, does it mean anything?" Miya asked, shaking off the disturbing thought of an infant as a ramen topping and turning the conversation to the even more mysterious horned woman.

"It is the name I chose for myself, it needs no other meaning." Xanna replied mildly.

"So it is not the name given to you by your parents?" The landlady asked in honest curiousity.

"I had no mother and the closest analogue I had to a father gave me a name I disliked, so I abandoned it and chose another." The horned woman explained.

Everyone else had so far been just observing the conversation as if it was a tennis match, somehow expecting violence to break out at any moment. Seriously, there was more tension and promise of violence in the air than you'd find in a war. But this last comment was too much for Uzume to stay silent.

"But how can you not have a mother?" She interjected in bafflement.

Xanna smiled, showing just the points of her fanged teeth. "A story for another time perhaps."

Kazehana was the only one there who actually had a good idea of the truth, having convinced Naruto to tell her about his and Xanna's unorthodox romance during their night out. Miya _could_ have known about it, if she had been willing to listen to Kazehana's retelling of it.

Of course, Kazehana could have also just given her the cliff notes version that told all of the important facts without any of the drawn out storytelling, but doing that kind of thing was unthinkable to her. She loved that story and couldn't possibly bring herself to reduce it to a dry list of facts.

Not that it was a huge secret or anything, but Xanna did not intend to speak of it just because someone asked.

"I need to finish dinner anyway." Miya suddenly said, realising that she really should get back to that and not liking how much control the horned duo had on the conversation.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A cloud of unseen tension loosened when Miya left the room and more than one person breathed a sigh of relief.

Karasuba chuckled instead, finding the entire situation very amusing. "You were right Naruto, this is hilariously awkward."

"I know right?" Naruto snickered in agreement.

"Since when are you so relaxed Karasuba?" Kazehana asked, giving her old teammate an odd look.

"I'm always like this for a day or so after he fucks me." The Black Sekirei explained with an off hand wave towards Naruto.

The following pause as everyone digested that bit of information gave Musubi the perfect opening to ask one of her innocent but awkward questions.

"What's fucking?"

"It's another word for sex, usually meaning rough sex." Naruto explained before anyone could distract the naive fist fighter.

"But I thought sex was like common sense, how can common sense be rough?" Musubi continued her line of questioning, now confused. She completely missed Minato's frantic attempts to stop her.

"You didn't actually ask Matsu to show you what sex is, did you Musubi-chan?" He asked, amused.

"Minato-sama told me not to." She pouted.

"Well that's not very nice." The horned man said disapprovingly. "Keeping a girl ignorant for your own sick pleasure is not very nice at all."

"T-That's n-not why I did it!" Minato insisted, his face going very pale.

"Of course you didn't." Naruto said back snidely.

While Minato spluttered and tried to justify himself another sound came from the ceiling.

"Fuhuhuhuhuhuhu, it's a soap opera."

"You can come down now Matsu." Homura said irritably.

"But what if Karasuba tries to kill me Homura-tan?" The skulking pervert asked.

"If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead already." The Black Sekirei said off handedly.

"So scary." Matsu said in a hushed tone but slithered down from the ceiling and into the only empty spot. "You'll protect me, right Mina-tan?"

Minato looked like he was about to say something, but caught sight of Karasuba's sinister smirk and just swallowed nervously.

Naruto sighed at the display of spinelessness, with Takami unknowingly echoing him. "He doesn't look like he could protect you from a butterfly."

Minato slumped even further at the harsh assessment.

"Fuhuhuhu, would you protect me then Naru-tan?" Matsu asked instead, even if the dig at her Ashikabi did kind of sting.

"From Karasuba?" He asked back in faux shock. "But the Little Crow is such a cute kitty cat, you've got nothing to be afraid of."

"I will cut you." The Black Sekirei said flatly.

"I'm sure you'll try really hard." Naruto said reassuringly, getting a growl from her.

"Your power over Sekirei is quite impressive." Matsu noted, glasses gleaming in a manner that might have been sinister if you didn't know her well enough.

"And what power do you think I have over the Sekirei that I don't have over anyone else?" He asked humorously.

"You can unwing us." She said.

"True enough." He agreed. "Would you like me to unwing you?"

"No!" She exclaimed, looking ready to bolt. "I'm quite happy with Mina-tan, thank you very much."

"I'm not going to force you." He assured her, once more amused. "And I can restore your wings as easily as I can take them away. Think of it as an experiment, just try it and I'll put everything back later if you want."

Well, Matsu always did like to experiment and it would certainly be interesting. Though Minato was proving to be disappointingly disinterested in doing any _experimenting_. Or perhaps disinterested was the wrong word, more like...too indecisive.

"Fuhuhuhu, I wonder how many Sekirei Naru-tan has _experimented_ on." She chuckled perversely, getting sidetracked by her own dirty thoughts for a moment.

"Not as many as you think." He answered, grinning. "Now, would you like to try the unwinging or not?"

"Don't do it Matsu!" Musubi interjected passionately. "We are Minato-sama's Sekirei!"

"Hush Musubi-chan, let Matsu make her own decision." Naruto chided.

Musubi puffed her cheeks out in offense at being shushed, but she did stay silent. Though her silence was replaced with a stare at her Ashikabi, who simply shrank into his seat. He really didn't want to gainsay the scary horned man and he certainly wasn't going to tell Matsu that she couldn't be unwinged if that was what she wanted.

"Well, if you promise to bring them right back, then I guess it would be okay." Matsu agreed with hesitant wariness.

"I promise." The horned blond assured and moved closer to her, pressing a single finger to her chest.

A moment later, Matsu was blinking and looking around as if everything was different, yet familiar. "So strange."

"What's strange?" Takami asked, her scientific curiousity roused.

"I feel...different." Matsu answered vaguely and then her eyes alighted on Minato, who also looked curious.

She stared at him searchingly for several long seconds, clearly working something out, before she finally spoke. "Mina-tan...you're really unattractive."

Naruto started laughing like a hyena at the blunt statement, while Xanna, Homura, Karasuba and Kazehana chuckled and Uzume and Chiho giggled.

Minato just slumped into further depression and Musubi looked confused.

When the laughter subsided a bit, Takami took the opportunity to voice her curiousity. "So removing your wings also removed your attraction to your Ashikabi?"

"Yes." Matsu confirmed. "While he was my Ashikabi, I thought that he was the greatest thing since high definition porn, but now that I've been unwinged it's like a curtain has been lifted, allowing me to see how unimpressive he really is."

There was more snickering at her explanation, though Takami was starting to get annoyed by the constant digs made at her son, even if they were true. Or to be more accurate, she was getting annoyed that he was just sitting there and taking it instead of saying something in his own defense or retaliating.

"Yeah, the winging does that. Rather insidious thing really." Naruto finally said after he was done being amused.

"So, how does it feel to get ditched by one of your Sekirei bro? " Uzume jibed at Minato.

"Well, if that's what she wants." Minato muttered, but was obviously upset.

Naruto sighed at the fact that the wimp wasn't even going to _try_ winning her back. "I can't believe you have the same name as my father."

"Your dad was named Minato too?" Uzume asked in interest.

"What was he like?" Kazehana seconded the interest.

Several similar inquiries followed until Naruto raised a hand to silence them and turned his stare on Minato, who also looked interested.

"Well, he looked pretty flaky, though not as bad as this guy." He gestured at Minato, making the boy slump. Again. "But he was still hardcore."

"How hardcore was he?" Uzume asked, very much interested.

"So hardcore that he once killed five hundred ninjas in four seconds." Naruto grinned. "He was known as the fastest man alive. Probably just in combat though, I doubt my mom would have tolerated him long if he was that fast at everything, she didn't seem like the type when I brought her back from the dead that one time."

"You are so full of it." Homura rolled his eyes.

"Actually, that is the truth, plus or minus a few dozen ninjas." Xanna seconded.

"And we've already heard about Naruto bringing his mother back from the dead as a zombie." Kazehana added her own two cents.

"Don't forget about him groping her." Uzume was quick to add.

Homura had heard that particular story and had been quite incredulous at how perverse the horned man was. "But seriously, ninjas?"

"Don't believe me?" Naruto asked challengingly.

"I might have if you hadn't brought ninjas into it." Homura snorted.

"What if I told you, that _I _was trained as a ninja?" The horned blond grinned.

"_You_ were a ninja?" The Fire Sekirei asked sceptically, taking note of the man's brutish physique and decidedly non-ninja behavior.

"Nobody expects a ninja to be the most obvious guy in the room." Naruto reasoned.

"That's actually a good point." Uzume conceded.

"You really shouldn't take his word at face value." Xanna commented. "He was terrible at being a ninja and ignored almost every rule about being one."

"I still kicked ass." Naruto defended.

"That's because you had accumulated enough brute force to shatter mountains and are probably the most tenacious man to have ever lived." The horned woman countered.

"You know you love it." He shot back, grinning cockily.

With an amused smile, Xanna inclined her head in agreement.

"Xanna-sama! Are you a ninja too? Can we spar?" Musubi asked excitedly, nearly bouncing in her seat while holding her fists under her chin.

"No child, I am not a ninja and I do not spar." Xanna replied, rather amused by Musubi's exuberance. She had to be the most happy go lucky person that Xanna had ever seen.

While Musubi pouted at being denied a spar with another strong person, Takami asked the question that was currently burning a hole through her mind. "What _are_ you then?"

"Something better than a ninja." Xanna answered unhelpfully, arching her back slightly and quite purposefully manifested ten pure white tails.

There was much ooh-ing and ahh-ing over the sudden appearance of the beautiful appendages. Akitsu especially was looking at them in wonder and Chiho looked as if she was having trouble restraining herself from grabbing one to pet.

On one side, they draped over Naruto's shoulder possesively, while on the other they slowly wrapped Akitsu in a cocoon of white fur. The Ice Sekirei had an ever deepening blush on her impassive face as she was wrapped in the warm and soft fur. Eventually, she was fully covered up to her nose and leaned forward to take a deep whiff of the tails, sighed contently and settled down to enjoy her new situation. It was like a super hug.

"Show off," Naruto muttered quietly and reached up to pet one of the tails on his shoulder. "But I did miss these."

"Can I...can I touch one? Please?" Chiho asked hopefully, looking hypnotized by the movements of one of the tails that was still 'free'.

Xanna looked at the near starry eyed girl archly, but did swing a single tail over to her. Chiho struggled against herself mightily and managed to grab hold of it gently and start petting it, instead of snatching it from the air greedily as had been her first impulse.

"I want one too!" Musubi exclaimed joyously and leaped towards one.

Xanna was about to smack the overexcited girl out of the air with the very tail she'd been aiming for when she sensed that the problem would be taken care off from another source.

A rock was hurled out of the kitched with unerring accuracy and handily smacked the fist fighter out of the air.

"Jumping is not allowed in Izumo Inn." This was accompanied by a fearsome Hannya mask as Miya stood in the doorway that connected to the kitchen.

She had been eavesdropping on the conversation while finishing dinner, though the food had actually been ready for some time already and she had been merely delaying in the hopes of learning anything new. And learned she had.

For one, Uzumaki clearly had no difficulty manipulating the Sekirei core like it was the simplest thing in the world and knew rather more about the core itself than she was comfortable with. His easy handling of Karasuba was another oddity. Though his handling of her was definitely unorthodox, she couldn't argue that the Black Sekirei was absurdly easygoing right now.

Xanna's display with her tails was rather shocking and had come out of nowhere, but in and of itself revealed little of use.

His little story about his father was interesting, but not really relevant. What really drew her interest was the reminder about him bringing his mother back from the dead. She wasn't sure if she could believe that, but she had to struggle hard to force down the hope that it might be a way to get Takehito back. She had no doubt that even if such a thing were possible, that it would have a huge price tag attached to it, but that was one thing that she would have paid nearly any price for.

She would have continued listening in if not for the fact that things had gotten a bit _too_ lively. She'd been willing to pretend that she hadn't heard the cursing because it wasn't worth sacrificing an eavesdropping opportunity, but things had started going out of hand. She had actually been surprised(and somewhat suspicious) that Uzumaki hadn't started with any of his reputed perversions yet. If he hadn't given her so much provocation in the time leading up to this dinner, she might have been willing to assume that he was truly being respectful for her sake and she also knew that he had no fear of her. For all that his respectful attitude might indicate some wariness of her, he was far too self assured and relaxed. It wasn't hard to see that the horned man was a warrior born and would relish a battle against a challenging opponent rather than fear it.

Now it was time to see how he and Xanna reacted to her Hannya mask. The psychic manifestation exuded a fearsome aura that had never failed to cow most people before, but she suspected it would not be so simple this time.

And she was right.

Karasuba remained unimpressed as ever. She had never been scared of it, so that was not surprising.

Xanna merely looked at it with disinterest, clearly unimpressed. Even Akitsu didn't look bothered, wrapped as she was in the tails and probably feeling rather safe in there. Chiho had squeezed the tail she'd been petting in instinctive fear and had had it pulled away.

Naruto on the other hand...

"Are we having a mask show?" He asked with blatantly fake excitement. "Does it do tricks?"

Unsure of how to respond, Miya intensified the menacing aura.

"Let me try that one too." He continued as if nothing had happened, comically sticking his tongue out of his mouth in a cartoonish parody of concentration.

A moment later, her dreaded Hannya mask was joined by another, though this one was somewhat...different. It was white instead of purple, its expression could only be described as 'stoned', it had a blush on its cheeks and a garishly sex-toy pink bow on the side of its forehead.

And then it spoke. In a ditzy, airheaded female voice.

"Duuude, wasaaaaap? You wanna come back to my place for a little head? Get it, head?"

The ridiculous situation made a mockery of her usually intimidating Hannya mask and dispelled the aura of dread it projected, making most everyone at the table collapse into a giggling fit.

Eye twitching imperceptibly, Miya stopped projecting before a further mockery could be made of it.

"Bro, how are you not scared of that thing?" Uzume asked in awe once she'd settled down from her giggles.

"I see something scarier every time I look in the mirror." He deadpanned.

"Your face is not that scary Naruto-kun." Kazehana demurred.

"Oh really?" He asked challengingly.

Next he extended his tongue from his mouth in a serpentine fashion, backlit his head with an ominous red-black miasma and made his eyes glow creepily. "**I will swallow your soul!**"

Before any overt reaction could be had from anyone at the sudden thundering voice and demonic aura that Naruto had been projecting, Miya threw one of her ubiquitous rocks at his head.

"Sticking your tongue out so lewdly is strictly forbidden in Izumo Inn!" She asserted firmly, though even she'd been rather creeped out by that display just now.

The rock was halted from actually hitting Naruto's head though, as he'd caught it with his tongue and then crushed it with the prehensile appendage.

"Dude, you crushed a rock with your tongue." Uzume said numbly.

Instead of answering verbally, Naruto waggled his eyebrows at her and Kazehana suggestively, making both women flush at the obvious implication.

"Fuhuhuhuhu." Though not in a good spot to see the eyebrow waggle, Matsu's imagination was more than up to the task of imagining other uses for a tongue like that.

"That was so cool! Can you teach me how to do that Naruto-sama?" Musubi exclaimed. Minato, being the supressed pervert that he was, developed a nose bleed at the imagery that the question conjured up.

"I'm not sure actually, probably not. Sorry, Musubi-chan."

Musubi pouted. It looked really cool too! There had to be all kinds of amazing combat techniques possible with a tongue like that.

"Settle down everyone. It's time to bring out the food." Miya interjected, feeling rather annoyed at how she'd been forgotten. "In the meanwhile, you can clean the pieces of rock you've left in my dining room Naruto-san."

"Sure thing Miya-san." Naruto chirped with far too much cheer.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few minutes later, all the food was settled on the table and the eating was just about to start.

Miya was glad that she had made more food than she had expected to need. She hadn't thought that anyone aside from Xanna and Naruto would be coming, so it worked out fairly well.

She still didn't like the fact that Karasuba was in her inn, relaxed as you please, and Miya had play the polite hostess to her. At the very least she was more tolerable than usual, but it still rankled to even have her there.

"Is that a fugu I see?" Naruto asked, spying the old Japanese delicacy on the table.

"Indeed it is." Miya said tightly. She'd been intending to serve it to him as a way of intimidating him with its poisonous nature and getting him to eat it out of politeness, but he was obviously eager to do it, making the whole point moot. "Would you like some?"

"Does anyone mind if I take all of it?" The horned blond asked, getting many shakes of the head since everyone knew that the damn things required rigorous preparation from highly trained chefs before they were safe to eat and no matter how good Miya's cooking was, she was not really qualified to be making fugu.

Except for Musubi of course, who had no concept of 'poison' much less that food might somehow be dangerous. "I want some too!"

"No Musubi-chan, that's dangerous!" Minato insisted, trying to convince his sole remaining Sekirei out of a possibly lethal decision. No matter how strong Musubi was, TTX probably wasn't good for her.

"But it's food." Musubi argued, confused as to how food could be dangerous.

"Hey Musubi, isn't that curry over there?" Naruto asked, pointing at the pot full of the aforementioned food.

"Ooh, curry!" And just like that, the potential crisis was averted.

"Uh, big bro? Isn't that...you know...toxic?" Uzume asked hesitantly.

"Yes, toxically good." He responded and was about to grab a bit of the fish with his chopsticks when it was swiped away by another set of chopsticks.

Giving his smug wife a narrow eyed look, Naruto slowly reached for the fish again, only to once again have that piece swiped away.

In an instant later, the situation devolved into an intense chopstick battle between the two deaities as they fought over the toxic fish that nobody else wanted.

Everyone else watched in blatant fascination as pieces of fish were swiped, knocked down, stolen and re-stolen, with the occasional piece actually making it to someone's mouth.

Naruto smacked aside Xanna's chopsticks, speared the liver and quickly shoved it into his mouth before she could recover.

Knowing that her husband had the advantage in the area of finger dexterity since she had never bothered to learn any kind of martial arts or anything similar, Xanna cheated and used a tail to pull him off balance. In the instant that it took him to recover, she snatched the ovaries and swallowed them whole without bothering to chew.

"That is enough!" Miya snapped. "Eating with such a deplorable lack of table manners is forbidden in Izumo Inn."

Naruto and Xanna froze, having gotten a little carried away and completely forgotten that they were in the middle of something.

There was now a terribly mutilated fish on the plate between them and Naruto had a strip of its skin hanging out of his mouth, which he slurped up like a noodle.

Xanna looked as if she was deciding whether it was worth keeping up the charade or if it would be more satisfying to show Miya where she ranked in the food chain, But Naruto acted faster.

"Our apologies Miya-san, it was a really good fish." He said, though he didn't sound like he meant it at all.

While his head was turned away, Xanna's tongue lashed out, wrapped the mutilated remains of the fish in it and then drew the whole thing into her mouth, whereupon she proceeded to chew once or twice and swallow.

"Now that's just cheating." Naruto complained sourly at her backhanded maneouver.

"There were still bones in there." Miya said with a pale face, though it was debatable whether she was pale out of mortification or anger.

"I know." Xanna answered, unperturbed. "It was quite crunchy."

Miya had the disturbing sensation of steadily losing control of the situation. Still, she truly did need to have a serious talk about the future of the Sekirei with these two and thus couldn't really kick them out.

"I do not care how you eat in your own home, but you will exercise manners in my inn." She finally said. Her pride would only bend so far as to not tell them to leave for that kind of behavior, but she still felt the need to say that much at least.

Xanna looked to be on the verge of doing something extreme, just for the sake of showing the uppity purple haired woman how foolish it was to be telling those greater than yourself that they couldn't do something. She would have done it too, if Naruto hadn't started rubbing her back soothingly to calm her down.

Everyone exhaled the breath they'd unknowingly been holding when the air stopped being so oppressively heavy and the ten tails behind Xanna ceased their agitated movements.

The meal proceeded with awkward silence for a short time, nobody being quite sure what to say after that.

Well, it was awkward for almost everyone. Musubi didn't understand the concept of awkward too well, so she was just happily eating her mountain of curry rice. Karasuba and Naruto were smirking at the whole thing and kept eating without a care in the world and Xanna was vindictively pleased that she had enforced this awkwardness on the room. Served them right.

The silence was eventually broken by the most unlikely person imaginable.

"Mistress..." Akitsu said quietly, giving an imploring stare towards the horned goddess. She had been quiet the entire time, just enjoying the feeling of being wrapped up in the tails and slowly eating her food after they had loosened enough to allow it.

It didn't take Xanna long to figure out what Akitsu wanted and re-wrapped the tails around her, having unwrapped them in her earlier agitation. The passive Ice Sekirei's small request served to get her mind away from the irritation she felt that someone dared tell her what to do and how to act.

Akitsu hadn't really intended to be heard by anyone other than Xanna, but in the oppressive silence even a whisper was clearly audible to everyone.

Minato flushed at the obvious implications.

Chiho also flushed, for similar but still very different reasons.

Kazehana and Uzume grinned, having seen this kind of thing before and thinking that it was rather cute.

Homura, Karasuba, Takami and Musubi didn't really react to it for a variety of reasons.

"Fuhuhuhu, looks like Akitsu has been doing a lot of experimenting." Matsu chuckled perversely.

As for Miya...well, her pride was still smarting over the sudden realisation that she was more than likely not in the presence of equals, but those who were much stronger than her. It hadn't been obvious until the moment when she had felt a monstrous menace saturating the air with the promise of death and violence. It had lasted only a moment before Naruto had calmed his wife down, but in that moment she had seen herself die.

A sobering experience to be sure, especially for someone who had always been assured of her own superiority, but her pride still wouldn't allow her to just let it go.

"Are you so depraved that you would demand that she refer to you so deferentialy?" Miya snipped.

Akitsu gave a slow blink of confusion as she looked at the purple haired landlady. She didn't recall her mistress or master demanding to be called anything. In fact, she couldn't recall anything at all being demanded of her since she had become theirs. Indeed, Naruto still occasionally tried to get her to call him by name. She sometimes did so just because it was funny to see him become exasperated when she went back to calling him 'master'. Both she and Xanna wondered how long it would take him to pick up on that.

Just because she didn't talk much didn't mean that she didn't have a sense of humor.

"Yes." Xanna answered honestly. She was indeed that depraved, nevermind that it had nothing at all to do with the situation. "And so is Naruto."

Miya was brought up short by the blunt and shameless answer, for a moment unsure of how to respond. Musubi butted in before she could come up with anything.

"What does 'depraved' mean?" She asked innocently.

"Morally corrupt." Miya answered snippily before Naruto could do it.

"Well, at least we're not deprived...of sex. Like everyone else in this inn." The horned man retorted cheekily, getting a few snorted laughs from people who then quickly shut up under Miya's glare. "Though I've never told Akitsu to call me 'master'. Don't trust that cute, innocent face of hers, underneath that she's as much of a pervert as me."

"Master makes me scream." Akitsu said in a forlorn tone that would make you think she didn't like it if you didn't know better. Well, she didn't like screaming because she was uncomfortable raising her voice, but the cause of the screaming was very much enjoyable.

"What does 'deprived' mean? And how can you be deprived of sex if sex is like common sense?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After it had been explained to Musubi what 'deprived' meant, she probably still didn't get it. She probably wouldn't until sex was very thoroughly explained to her and she stopped trying to equate it with common sense.

Naruto hadn't expected how successful he would be at confusing the girl when he'd told her that.

Miya had apparently decided to try steering the conversation back onto more normal topics and experienced much frustration as it kept backsliding into something perverse every so often.

Naruto took great pleasure in explaining his theory on critical perversion mass to her. Well, it wasn't much of a theory to be honest, just a scientific sounding hypothesis on how, when a certain number of known perverts were sitting at a table, conversation would inexorably gravitate towards sex.

Miya had not been amused, but unlike most situations, she was unable to intimidate anyone into obedience. Even her usual residents were showing progressively less fear of her at having so many people present who were completely immune to her displays.

She did not dare tell them to leave though, now certain that this whole conversation was not a requirement for them, but an amusement. If she told them to leave, they might very well do so, but that would mean that she would be completely cut out of the loop as they continued their plans with impunity.

She was not an obstruction to them like she had been to MBI. They would work around her without fear, or over her if she proved too troublesome. Being relegated to the position of 'novel curiosity' after being the most powerful being on the planet for years was not a situation that Miya enjoyed, but she would bear it so that she could retain some control over what happened to her feathers. She had failed them too many times already.

As the conversation progressed, Xanna kept teasing Chiho with one or two of her tails, fully intending to seduce both her and Uzume. It was made fairly easy by Chiho's obvious fetish for furry appendages and Uzume could have been considered 'seduced' for a while already.

Before, she had intended to do this just to mess with Naruto and his intention of gathering little sisters, now it was also to step on Miya's toes. Her irritation at the landlady was perhaps somewhat excessive considering the offense, but she had always had a short fuse when someone tried to tell her what to do or not do, especially when they had no power to back it up.

She knew that Naruto had his own plans to rile Miya up, which was fine with her. They were far from mutually exclusive after all.

It was as the dinner was winding to a close that Naruto finally made the move that he'd been planning on making by sitting across from Uzume.

The Veiled Sekirei had two characteristics that had made him want to sit where he was sitting. Namely, she was prone fits of explosive laughter when she heard something funny and she liked to eat by stuffing her mouth full of food.

Naruto waited until Uzume had so much food in her mouth that she had trouble chewing and then spoke.

"That was a really great dinner Miya-san." He complimented politely, though a grin was escaping his self control. "With the way you feed your tenants, I must ask if anyone has ever called you Mama Miya?"

As he had predicted, Uzume burst into laughter at the joke that was also a question that was also a pun and also a veiled insult. However, since she had her mouth full to bursting, she ended up spewing a torrent of half masticated food all over Naruto.

"Well, that was a new experience." The horned man said dryly, wiping curry off his face. The shirt he was wearing was a lost cause though.

Just As Planned.

"Bro, I am so sorry." Uzume croaked out in between her giggles.

"It's alright, serves me right for cracking my bad jokes at the dinner table." Naruto said with false contriteness.

"Damn right it does." Homura muttered, cleaning off himself as much as he could. He'd gotten a bit of splash damage since he was sitting next to Naruto. Curiously, Xanna was entirely spotless, as if the food had somehow managed to veer away from her...which it had.

"My apologies Miya-san." The horned man said to the landlady whose eyes was twitching in anger at how an otherwise civilised dinner had devolved into a series of disgusting displays of bad manners, perverse implications, bad jokes and other things. "You wouldn't happen to have a shirt I could borrow do you? I know how you feel about indecent displays and I wouldn't want to offend you by having my chest bare."

He _sounded_ sincere, but everyone knew that he really wasn't. Several people were already giving him suspicious looks, wondering if he'd planned that out. After all, there was simply no way that any shirt that anyone owned in the inn was going to fit him.

After Naruto, Minato was the tallest male there, but he was skinny as a stick. Naruto had to be twice as wide as him and a good deal taller. There were some old clothes of Takehito's still lying around, but he had been shorter than Minato and thus wouldn't be of any use.

"I do not believe so." Miya ground out. "You may use the bathroom to wash and I will allow you to stay shirtless provided you wear your haori and close it as much as possible." It annoyed her severely that she couldn't do a damn thing about it either way.

By this point she just wanted to get this farce of a dinner over with so that they could get to the point. Usually she enjoyed these things, but it was a lot less fun when she couldn't intimidate anyone when they inevitably broke her rules.

Within a few minutes, Naruto was back and sitting at the table, now in his usual mode of dress. He could have just cleaned himself through the use of his powers, but it was too much fun riling Miya up with this. Actually he could have made himself a new shirt too, but the same thing applied and nobody had seen him do that yet, so they wouldn't think that he was capable of it.

Miya was focusing on her plate and using her chopsticks with excessive force. It irritated her even more that everyone except for her seemed to find it _normal _for the horned pervert to be shirtless, as opposed to having his chest covered.

Uzume and Kazehana mouthed 'smooth' at Naruto in unison, having deduced that it had been done on purpose. He gave them a confirming wink in return.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You want me and Musubi to go to another dimension to live in an empire ruled by...by...them?!" Minato was whispering loudly and with surprised incredulity as his mother brought up the issue.

"I know it sounds crazy and the idea of that idiot " She gestured towards Naruto."ruling an empire is pretty scary, but he does have a point that the Sekirei won't be safe here and I doubt you want to be separated from her." Takami explained.

"But..." Minato said hesitantly.

"Just agree to it Minato, or else he'll keep nagging you until you do." Takami said tiredly. "Even if he is full of shit and obviously hasn't taken more than a cursory look at how this world works, he did make a few good points and this empire of his probably isn't going to be as bad as I'm afraid it might be."

"Hold on just a minute here." Naruto interjected. "I thought you agreed with me on all the problems that this world has?"

"I agreed with you on a few things, such as the pollution and the problems that the Sekirei would have if they lived here for an extended period of time, but a lot of what you said was a load of crap."

"You mean you were just humoring me?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes you lummox, I knew you wouldn't shut up so I let you think that I agreed with you." Takami smirked. "I more or less decided to accept your offer before that conversation ever happened."

"Well damn." Naruto frowned, wondering how he'd missed that. He hadn't been reading her mind or anything, but still. "Now I _really_ want to have sex with you."

Takami rolled her eyes at the semi-predictable response, while her son choked on air at the mental image.

"Truly husband, it is unseemly for someone so young and inexperienced to be making uninformed observations on politics." Xanna said with a sigh.

"_That's_ what you're bothered about?" Homura asked incredulously, but was ignored.

"You speak as if you have experience with politics Xanna-san." Miya commented, all too glad to shift the conversation away from anything sex related, even if she didn't usually like to talk about politics.

"I do." Xanna confirmed, showing no hint of the earlier tension between her and the landlady. Retaliation for that was already planned and there was no need to be angry over it anymore. "Twice before have I ruled."

"Really?" Takami asked in surprise. She'd known that the horned woman was old, but she hadn't considered that she might have already been a head of state before. "Which empires did you rule?"

"You would not know their names, they were not in this world." Xanna said dismissively.

"How long did your reign last then?" The scientist pressed, wanting to get some more details about what kind of Empress Xanna would end up being.

"Not long, ten years for the first one and twenty for the second."

"That seems a short time for an immortal." Takami mused, not noticing Miya's startled expression. The idea that the horned duo were immortal had never entered her mind, despite their claims of godhood.

"Yes well, I was quite the tyrant and I had...anger management issues at the time. " Xanna said dryly, making Naruto snort at the understatement. 'Anger management issues' was a rather poor description for the trouble she'd had at controlling the rage she'd inherited from the Juubi. "I destroyed both empires in fits of rage, it was not until a thousand years later that I finally calmed down some, but by then the desire to rule had left me and I have only recently regained it."

"What could have angered you enough that you would destroy your own empire?" Miya asked warily, having the suspicion that she wouldn't like the answer.

"The people did not like the way I was ruling and rebelled." Xanna explained as if there was nothing wrong with that.

"And you want my feathers to live in an empire under a rule where absolute obedience is required, under pain of death?" Miya asked with an edge to her voice.

"Have you not been listening?" Xanna asked archly, the implied 'idiot' clear in her tone. "That was long ago and I was much different then. Besides, the Sekirei are Naruto's little pet project and he intends to make certain they will be well cared for and happy."

"Why would you do this? What do you hope to gain from sheltering them so?" Miya asked challengingly, turning towards the horned man.

"A sense of satisfaction." Was his airy answer.

"And here I thought that you cared about us big bro." Uzume pouted, but both Naruto and Xanna could tell she was genuinely stung despite her joking tone.

"You needn't fret girl, he does care about you, he is merely not so foolish as to delude himself into thinking that his actions are not rooted in selfishness." Xanna explained dismissively.

"But how can caring for others be selfish?" Kazehana asked in bafflement.

"Everything is rooted in selfishness if you can manage to think about it with clarity of mind." Xanna asserted. "Take yourself for example, you seek love and are always happy to see people who are in love, but you are not happy for _them_, you are happy because it affirms your own views and gives you hope of finding such a thing for yourself."

Kazehana opened her mouth a few times to refute the words, but had trouble coming up with anything, since it was true to a certain point. Maybe if she had time to think of it she could eventually have come up with something, but as it was, she just grabbed at the most obvious example in an attempt to argue. "Well...what about a mother's love for her child?"

Xanna raised an eyebrow and turned towards Takami. "Do you love your children Takami?"

Takami looked annoyed at having been put on the spot, but answered anyway. "Of course I do."

"You urge them to be better because you love them?"

"Yes..." Takami answered again, starting to get wary of this conversation. Apparently Naruto had picked up his habit of leading a conversation like this from his wife.

"If you love them, why then do you not allow them to live their lives as they please instead of trying to mould them to your liking? Your forceful manner has reduced your son to a whimpering coward that allows every woman he meets to walk over him."

Takami was deeply disturbed by the words. Seeking to refute them, she turned to her son and made a harsh sounding demand. "I didn't do that, right Minato?"

"No mom!" He squeaked, suddenly terrified of the pissed off look she had on her face.

Takami went a bit pale as she realised that her son was indeed afraid of her. She had only wanted him to succeed in life, not give him a fear of women. It was severely disturbing that she had never considered that his timidness might have been caused by her.

"Do not worry yourself over it too much." Xanna continued dismissively before Takami could get another word in. "He was likely predisposed to that sort of timid behavior to begin with and leaving him alone would have meant neglecting your duties as a mother, which would have also been an act of selfishness. Even if every action has selfish roots, it need not be a bad thing. Selfish acts can benefit others just as easily as harm them."

While a somewhat troubled Takami thought it over, Miya decided to speak up. "That is an...interesting philosophy."

"Call it what you wish." Was the dismissive reply as Xanna turned away to look at a rather sleepy looking Akitsu and laid the Ice Sekirei's head in her lap. She did enjoy the occasional philosophical debate, but it was obvious to her that they weren't willing to see things from her point of view. Which was too bad for them, because her point of view was the right one.

Naruto snickered for no apparent reason, catching what his wife was thinking and finding it as terribly amusing as ever. While he did agree with her that more or less everything was rooted in selfishness, the whole thing was pretty abstract and not at all important.

Just like him, his wife sometimes enjoyed poking fun at humans and their morals.

Miya's eye twitched at the supremely arrogant dismissal. She was rapidly discovering a deep dislike of arrogant people who were indisputably more powerful than her.

"Well this was fun, but enough screwing around." Naruto said with a clap of his hands. "Miya, you ready for that talk?"

The purple haired landlady noted how he had stopped bothering with honorifics or politeness and felt oddly relieved. This somehow felt more natural, whereas seeing him doing his best polite act felt like seeing a wolf attempting to impersonate a sheep.

"Yes, I believe I am."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Aaaaand, cut!**

**Another cliffhanger perhaps, but I really didn't want to have a 20k+ word chapter. That would take me too long to post. Not to worry though, I've already started writing the next one and it will likely be finished rather soon. I might even manage to finish it before monday.**

**That would be of the good actually, as my next work week will be 60 hours long and will give me very little time to write.**

**I ran out of juice for omakes though Q.Q...for now.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Phaer my mad typing skillz, as I have managed to finish this chapter on saturday evening instead of on monday. I hope the chapter quality didn't suffer any because of my speed.**

**Without further delay, here it is and I hope you enjoy :P.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Once Naruto and Miya had disappeared around a corner, Uzume turned to Xanna and spoke in a tone bursting with curiousity. "What are they going to talk about?"

"And are they going to talk, or _talk_?" Matsu added, her implications quite clear.

"Do not concern yourselves with it." Was Xanna's dismissive answer.

"I find it odd that you are not joining them." Kazehana noted.

"I will hear everything that is said. In the meanwhile, I intend to take a bath." She said and started moving towards the bathroom. Akitsu shook off her earlier drowsiness and went to join her.

"But Miya didn't say you could do that." Homura protested instinctively.

"Irrelevant, I will still do it." The horned woman said offhandedly and turned to look back at the group, seeing that with the exception of Takami and Minato, who were quietly conversing off to the side, the others had nothing to do. After a moment's consideration, she pointed at Musubi, Matsu, Kazehana, Karasuba, Uzume and Chiho. "You, you, you, you, you and you may join me if you wish to brush my tails."

Upon saying that, Xanna willed her clothing to vanish and continued on naked, her hips and tails swaying hipnotically.

Homura spluttered and stared in uncomprehending shock at how much arrogance had just been packed into a single statement. It simply did not compute that someone would appropriate Miya's bathroom without permission and then invite a bunch of her tenants to join as massage girls.

"Pass." Karasuba and Kazehana said in unison, with Karasuba again receiving considerable shock at the easygoing reply.

"Yay!" Musubi cheered at being allowed to pet the tails. She had pouted earlier over being denied the opportunity.

"Fuhuhuhuhu, this could be interesting." Matsu was also eager to go, though her interests were far less innocent.

Uzume hmphed at the near drooling look that her Ashikabi was giving the horned woman's retreating backside. Though Uzume had to admit that it was a magnificent backside.

The hmph attracted Chiho's attention, who turned a pleading expression to her Sekirei. "Can we go Uzume-chan? Pleeease?"

"First you get mad at me for suggesting an orgy and now you're willing to go after the first piece of tail that shows up." Uzume sulked with her arms crossed.

Chiho giggled at the pun, but subsided when she noticed that Uzume was not looking amused for a change. "I'm sorry for getting mad at you Uzume-chan, but you know how I feel about men. I will always be grateful for what Naruto-san has done for me, but I don't want to sleep with him."

Uzume wavered a bit at the apology and explanation. Yes, she had been aware that Chiho was simply unable to see any attraction in males, but she had thought that her Ashikabi might feel differently about Naruto. Apparently his hulking size and physique was a huge turn off for the petite girl, much more than Uzume had thought it would be.

Clearly, she had no problem being attracted to Xanna though.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so eager to go off with another woman." Chiho apologised again, this time in a guilty murmur, taking the extended silence as being a sign that Uzume was still upset. It wasn't like Uzume had done anything more than _suggest_ an orgy and she knew that her Sekirei wouldn't cheat on her, while she had been just about to wander after the horned woman in a daze.

She should have known better, even if those unbearably sexy tails were attached to an already unbearably sexy woman.

"Well...if it's just brushing her tails, then I guess it's ok." Uzume finally muttered and took her Ashikabi's hand. Besides, she wanted to touch those tails too. "Come on, lets go."

Chiho's face instantly lit up and they hurried after the long since departed Xanna.

Takami and Minato had long since returned to their private conversation, while the remaining three Sekirei sat there and watched the two of them leave.

"I wonder why Homura wasn't invited." Kazehana mused.

"Oh that's easy." Karasuba said off handedly. "Naruto is a jealous bastard and would probably kill him if he touched his wife."

While Homura looked alarmed for a moment, Kazehana questioned her former teammate in a puzzled tone. "But he doesn't mind if women touch her?"

"Nope."

"And he doesn't think it's hypocritical of him to get upset over a man touching his wife when he sleeps around all the time?"

"He knows it's hypocritical, but he just doesn't care and neither does she."

"Huh...strange couple." Kazehana said musingly, trying to wrap her mind around how exactly that worked.

"I like it." Karasuba commented, moving away from the table and laying down on the floor with her eyes closed. "I get a good fight, followed by a good fuck, anytime I want and there's no drama to ruin it for me later."

"Well it certainly seems to have done you some good." The Wind Sekirei said, chuckling at how very relaxed Karasuba was being. Usually, the dinner would have gotten ruined within twenty minutes at the most because she would have provoked someone to a fight.

"Want a drink?" Kazehana offered, pulling a bottle of sake from...somewhere.

Karasuba gave the bottle a speculative look, having never really done any drinking before. "Sure, why not?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Miya and Naruto were now ensconced in one of the still empty rooms. Miya certainly had no intention of inviting this pervert into her bedroom.

There was no hint of the stilted air of forced politeness that had pervaded the entire dinner. Miya was now certain that both of the horned duo were much more powerful than her and she felt no need to pretend otherwise. She had felt the need during dinner, both due to the sudden hit to her pride from the revelation and because of the artificially imposed formality that a dinner implied.

With all of that out of the way, it was clear that she would need to play by their rules. She might be the Sekirei pillar, but as previously noted, power was power and they had more of it.

"Ever since you had begun collecting my feathers and removing their wings, I have wanted to know what your intentions were with them. Do you intend to use them as a tool of conquest like so many wish to do, or are your intentions truly as benign as you claim?" Miya began.

"Before we get to that, there are other things that I am interested in." Naruto diverted.

"Such as?" Miya asked curiosuly.

"You use some very flowery language to describe what is essentially a bond of emotional slavery that is imposed on the Sekirei when they 'gain' their wings." He commented idly.

"That is what is has always been called." Miya said cautiously, not very comfortable with the direction he was going in.

"Yes...Minaka has certainly perverted something that could have been beautiful." Naruto continued in the same idle tone.

Miya stayed silent for just a few moments too long and Naruto could easily smell the unease on her, as well as sense her deception.

"Oh..." He said in a tone of realisation and then continued in a menacing purr. "But that isn't right is it? Minaka only _thought_ that he had changed the bonding and you allowed him to believe it, in truth it functions exactly as it was always meant to function."

Miya sighed at having that ugly secret revealed, a secret that she had thought she would take to the grave with her. "Not exactly. Originally, I was to be the one in control of the reaction. It was meant to be my choice who my feathers reacted to, to ensure that the proper Ashikabi were chosen instead of the random selection that has been the case. Minaka's meddling damaged my connection to my Jinki and took away that ability."

"I am assuming that you were to have control because of those Sekirei who were maddened with bloodlust?" Naruto guessed.

Miya gave a little chuckle. "I see you have investigated quite thoroughly Naruto-san. Yes, a method of control was required for those Sekirei. They would have been bound to a suitable Ashikabi with their own emotions and hopefully, would eventually have calmed down."

"They would't." He said dismissively. "Their power was feeding the parts of their brains that enhance agression. If their power hadn't been as restricted as it is, even more of them would have gone crazy."

"Yes," Miya agreed, not even surprised that he knew of the power restrictions that all Sekirei had. "but the Ashikabi of today are not what they were supposed to be. They are descendants of the handful of Sekirei who survived our arrival to this world a thousand years ago. The Ashikabi were meant to be altered humans who were capable of regulating the power of the Sekirei bound to them. Those that showed improvement would gradually have more power unlocked, while those that deteriorated would have it blocked completely in the hopes that they could be saved."

"Ashikabi such as Seo." Naruto stated with certainty.

"Such as Seo." Miya confirmed. "The other Ashikabi are only capable of unlocking a short term power boost for their Sekirei by way of a kiss, while he is capable of completely locking down a Sekirei's power. Takehito was the only one who had ever managed to unravel the secrets of the Jinki to the point where he was capable of transforming an ordinary human into a true Ashikabi and the only one whom I trusted enough to allow to do it. Seo volunteered to have the procedure done to him as a test, though he wasn't told what the final purpose was. As it was, the procedure wasn't completely successful, but it was impressive for a first try. "

"Is there some reason that you can't do this yourself? You _are_ the one who is connected to the Jinki after all."

"A Pillar or Sekirei cannot affect the Jinki, this was done by design to prevent potential abuse. Ironically, it became our undoing as the scientists who _were_ capable of doing this were aboard the other ships. Mine was the last ship to leave the homeworld and had only one hundred and eight Sekirei aboard, instead of the full thousand carried by the other ships, so it was deemed unneeded to have one aboard."

"And when the eight ships came to this world, you were intending to conquer the primitive humans of the time and restart your culture on a new world." He said with a smirk.

Miya froze in surprise and almost reached for a weapon on sheer instict, but seeing that Naruto didn't look hostile or even upset, she slowly let the tension dissipate. Finally, she sighed in defeat and asked. "I must ask how you managed to figure out that part of the plan?"

"Your ship was stocked full of weaponry and pretty much every Sekirei is a combatant, it's not like it was hard to guess. Even if the others were just embryos or fetuses, it would have been a trifle to conquer the Earth a thousand years ago with eight warriors as powerful as you, nevermind that you could accelerate their growth." Naruto said in amusement. "No doubt it was the cause of Minaka and Takami's reluctance to let you out of stasis when they found you."

"That was indeed the plan, but when I woke up as the sole remaining Pillar, in a world where humans had already created an abundance of nuclear weaponry that could render the planet uninhabitable in a chain reaction if even one was fired, I abandoned that idea." Miya confirmed, seeing no point in hiding it anymore. "With everything having gone awry and all hope of our culture being saved gone, I had resigned myself to waiting out my days on this world and allowing my feathers to live in the belief that the winging is something wonderful instead of a chain that was meant to control them."

"Ah, I see how it is now. The Ashikabi were meant to be jailors to keep watch on their charges, the Pillar a warden to keep watch over the Ashikabi and the Jinki as the means by which true Ashikabi could be created, as well as its lesser known function of activating the power of the next generation of Sekirei children. With the Pillar controlling who the Sekirei reacted to, they would never have even realised that they were being kept chained by their own emotions, all of it further covered up by sugarcoating the whole situation with fancy words like 'winging' and 'destined love'.

Sighing again, Miya spoke in a wooden tone that betrayed just how much she wished that it had all stayed buried. "You have discovered far more than I expected anyone to ever manage. Everyone else was too distracted by the idea of a hundred beautiful women on a desperate search for love to notice that they were warriors."

"I always was pretty good at prying apart secrets." Naruto grinned, paying her tone no mind. It didn't matter to him what their original intentions had been and the circumstances were just a curiosity. The only thing that mattered was the here and now. "The one thing that Xanna and I haven't managed to figure out is, why did you even need to leave your homeworld in the first place? Sending eight ships full of unborn children, with no faster than light capability and with the crew in stasis, to a new planet reeks of desperation."

"It seems desperate because it was, we had destroyed our planet and needed to flee."

"How did you manage to do that?" He asked, rather amused at the idea that a people would destroy the very world that they lived on.

"It is something of a long story." Miya evaded, clearly reluctant to speak of it.

"We've got plenty of time." Naruto said and looked at the landlady pointedly.

"I would rather not speak of it." She said outright, seeing that it was pointless trying to be subtle.

"Talk and I might be convinced to resurrect Takehito." He said flatly. He wanted to know damnit and he was not going to be stonewalled now.

Miya froze again and asked in a whisper that failed to hide the desperate hope behind it. "You can do that?"

"As opposed to your false claim on divinity, I _can_ actually do nearly anything. I wouldn't be doing Takehito any favors by dragging his soul back to the world of the living, but I can do it."

"What do you mean, 'you wouldn't be doing him any favors'?" She asked worriedly.

"His life is was over already, even if it was cut short. People generally aren't supposed to come back, especially not after so long."

"But other than that, there would be no harm done?" Miya asked searchingly. "He could be brought back?"

Naruto had an amused look on his face at her hopeful expression. Considering her earlier dubiousness of Xanna's belief that all action was rooted in selfishness, she was being incredibly selfish at the moment. Not that it bothered him in particular, considering that he had done far worse than this in his effort to keep Xanna with him.

"There will be a price to pay for it, aside from just disclosing the reasons of your exodus from Kouten." He told her with a deliberately sinister grin.

"What price?" Miya wasked warily. She had expected that there would be and was willing to pay it, but caution was still warranted.

"It will be revealed to you when it is time to pay. Now, do we have a **bargain**?" The ominous tone and creepy reverb in the last word didn't make her feel any better about it, nor did the clawed hand that he had extended for her to shake. Considering his apperance and choice of words, you couldn't possibly make a more stereotypical 'deal with the Devil' situation if you tried.

Miya was well aware that if she took his hand now, he could demand practically anything of her later and rightfully claim that she had agreed to it. He didn't seem to have any intention of actually telling her what his price would be. Every piece of conventional wisdom warned that this was a terrible idea and that she should back out while she still had a chance, that she would lose far more than she would gain if she agreed to this. It was the height of stupidity to agree to pay some unspecified price even if you were dealing with a regular human, agreeing to pay it to a supernatural being was so stupid as to be unquantifiable.

On the other hand, she had gotten enough of a feel for the horned man that it made her doubt conventional wisdom. He was clearly fond of being unconventional just for the hell of it and thought it hilarious to make bad first impressions that were somewhat at odds with his behavior. While he had been slinging insults at provocation at her from afar, he had also been saving and protecting her feathers, sheltering them in his home and plotting to create an entire empire for them where they could live in peace. Certainly, he had done far more for them than she had been either able or willing to do after the death of Takehito.

Considering what she knew of him it would be easy to assume that he would demand sexual favors later on if she agreed now, but Miya somehow doubted that would be the case. She had no doubt that whatever he demanded would still be distasteful and onerous to her, but it probably wouldn't be degrading. Probably.

Of course, the entire thing could have been a setup to make her doubt conventional wisdom where she would need it most.

"How can I trust that you will keep your word?" She asked suspiciously.

"I always keep my word." Unless of course he was planning on breaking it from the very start, but that was not the case here.

"And what proof do I have that you can truly bring him back?"

Instead of answering, Naruto upturned his palm and a small bunny appeared in his hand. "I just created this little cutie out of nothing and that is a lot harder to do than bringing some dead dude back to life."

Miya bit her lip as the bunny vanished, oh so terribly tempted to just take his hand. Sure, she had nothing but his word and assurances to go on, but she had a feeling that those could be trusted. Every bit of wisdom screamed a protest against it, but her heart, lonely and in pain as it had been for so many years, urged her to do it.

Looking at him as he patiently kept his hand extended in the firm belief that she would take it, an amused twinkle in his eye the whole time, Miya admitted to herself that she was willing to risk it for the return of her husband. Hesitantly she reached over and placed her much smaller hand into his.

She was startled when his hand snapped closed over her own with the speed of a steel trap, but gently enough that it only felt constricting rather than painful. "**The deal is made. For the return of your husband, you will do all I ask until I determine that the favor is repaid in full.**"

Miya snatched her hand back as soon as he released it and asked a dry question to cover her deep unease over what exactly she had just agreed to. "Must you be so dramatic?"

"Verily, I must, for I am both easily bored and easily amused." He grinned at her. "Now, onwards with the bedtime story!"

Her lips thinning in displeasure over how he referred to the destruction of her homeworld and their desperate escape from it, she began speaking.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Few are aware of this, but the Sekirei are in fact genetically near identical to humans and we likely share common origins._

"Noooo."

"Your sarcasm is uncalled for Naruto-san."

"I vehemently disagree, but whatever. Please continue."

_I do not know how the Sekirei came to live on a different planet and it does not truly matter. We had no period such as the Dark Ages, in which scientific progress was outlawed, allowing us to outstrip Earth in technological progress._

_Another difference was that instead of hundreds of smaller nations sharing the world, Kouten was shared between only three large ones. Very much like Earth, we progressed, evolved and reproduced. Unfortunately, we also made many of the same mistakes, such as overpopulation and reliance on non-renewable energy sources._

_Over time, Kouten simply became too small to sustain us and measures were implemented to halt any further population growth and eventually lower it. Having even a single child required a permit and only one third of all couples were allowed even that much at one point._

"Sounds like your people had waaaaay too much unprotected sex."

"Quite, this was a direct result of another major difference. While there was a religion on Kouten, it portrayed intercourse as a beautiful thing instead of attempting to supress it."

"Sounds like my kind of religion."

"No doubt, now stop interrupting me."

"I'll interrupt if I feel like it, consider it part of your debt to me."

"Ugh."

_Moving on, as you might guess, these restrictions were poorly received by the general population and a rebellion occured within a few years of it being implemented. The government was successfully overthrown and the restriction on having children abolished. In the following celebration at defeating 'oppression', many new children were conceived._

_The pattern continued for some time in all three nations. Strict population control measures would be implemented only to be eventually abolished or outright ignored by outraged, but short sighted people._

_The nation to which I was born was the only one to have a modicum of success with it, likely due to the fact that it was a monarchy instead of a democracy like the other two._

"How did you manage to sustain a dictatorship?"

"It was not a true dictatorship, in truth closer to what the United Kingdom has, though the crown had much more power. It had its advantages and disadvantages just like any system, but in that situation, it payed to have the power more centralized."

"Ah, I see."

_While our own nation might have managed to slow down our downward spiral, it meant nothing as the other two continued as they always had._

_The years passed and we became desperate. War was on the verge of breaking out over what few resources remained and everyone knew that it would likely end with all of our deaths instead of solving anything._

_A solution came from a long ignored and eccentric scientist. He had created the first Jinki, a technological crystal designed to capture the spiritual energies of those who died near it. Energies which could then be used to transform an ordinary person into someone with incredible abilities, who we came to call a Sekirei. With an army of such warriors, we knew that it would be possible to defeat the other two nations before any weapons of mass destruction could be deployed,thus buying us the needed time to save our world._

"And nobody thought that this might somehow come back to bite them in the ass later?"

"As I said, we were desperate."

_As predicted, the newly created Sekirei easily overwhelmed all opposition and our world was united under a planet spanning empire._

"You sure showed those capitalist pigs what for, eh?"

"What?"

"Nevermind."

_In the following decades, tensions were high as the conquered populations seethed at their defeat, but were unable to act against the armies of Sekirei that were deployed in their former territories. Even harsher population control measures were implemented while desperate research was conducted to discover technologies which could save us._

"Wait wait, don't tell me what happens next! The newly crowned Emperor or his successor had himself a nice little power trip and fucked everything up?"

"Foul language is forbidden in Izumo Inn...but yes that is essentially what happened."

_It was in fact the first Emperor's grandson that brought about our ruin. Just like yourself he had a weakness for women and exploited his position in order to amass a harem of women both willing and some not so willing._

"I resent that comparison, I've never touched an unwilling maiden."

"The only 'maiden' that I can imagine would be willing to touch you is an iron maiden."

"And from then on she would be an iron woman."

_Getting back to the depressing tale of my people's destruction which are you forcing me to tell you-_

"Now that's harsh. I'm bribing you, not forcing you."

_-One of the women in his harem turned out to be a member of the persistent resistance movement, a resistance movement which had almost petered out when they saw that the severe measures implemented by the first Emperor were actually having a positive effect, but had been revived by the excesses and blundering of the third Emperor._

_She successfully stole the secrets of the Jinki and the resistance soon began creating their own Sekirei. In the apocalyptic battles that followed, most of the civilian, non-Sekirei population died in the crossfire as ever more powerful Sekirei were created._

_When it was over a few years later, we didn't have an overpopulation problem anymore and most of the industrial infrastructure was destroyed._

"Do I detect a trace of dark humor in there?"

"There is nothing funny about this!"

"My bad, I guess you're just as much of a killjoy as I thought."

_It would have taken us decades to rebuild, but we were not given that much time. Mere years after the last of the fighting died down, substantial numbers of both the surviving and newly created Sekirei began exhibiting signs of restlesness and unprovoked bursts of violence._

"Ah, I see where this is going. The survivors were probably suffering from some rather severe cases of Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder and the newly made ones were probably affected by all the death and violence that was no doubt tainting the spiritual energies captured by the Jinki."

"It disturbs me how easily you perceive the truth with so few clues."

"Well Xanna and I _have_ been examining seven of the eight Jinki for a while. It wasn't hard for us to see that there's something wrong with them."

"Yes, about those...what have you done with them?"

"Destroyed them."

"Those Jinki were the legacy of my people, our greatest accomplishment, you had no right!"

"I'll be taking and destroying the one you have too by the way."

"Did you not hear me?! I will not give you the last Jinki so that you can destroy it."

"Miya-chan will give the Jinki jink to Naruto for him to smashy smash, or else Takehito will continue his dirt nap uninterrupted."

"You are a snake!"

"Yeah, I'm a regular anaconda. I've even got all the right junk in all the right places."

"What?"

"Nevermind, the point is that you're still handing over the Jinki."

"I...you...but there will be no more Sekirei if you destroy it."

"The Jinki is a flawed design and as a consequence, so are the Sekirei. You would use it to grant power to the offspring of the current generation, but that power would turn at least a third of them into bloodthirsty killers. I will not have those children born only to be forced into locking them away, turning them into slaves or killing them."

"...*sigh*fine, I will surrender it to you."

"That's what she said."

"Abomination."

"Coincidentally, that is _also_ what she said."

"Ugh, where was I?"

"Your world was in ruins and the Sekirei were about to lose their shit again."

"Foul language is-"

"Shit, cunt, cock, ass. Now get on with the motherfucking story."

_...It was discovered-_

"With less gnashing of teeth if you please. Take a deep breath and then continue."

_...It was discovered as you said that many of the newly made Sekirei, especially those who had undergone the procedure in their youth, were developing uncontrollably violent tendencies. Males were particularly susceptible, as the Sekirei core stimulated testosterone production in addition to heightening aggression._

"And that would be the reason why there are so many women and Homura's little attempted gender switch."

"Yes, though it should never have activated at such a late age. More of Minaka's meddling in things he does not understand."

_More fighting broke out and the maddened ones knew no restraint. They used powers destructive enough to crack open the planet. After that, our only chance of salvation were the handful of space ships that we had managed to research and build during the decades of peace after the empire was formed._

_They were not ready, having no faster than light ability and no real crew. We Pillars had been created by then and bound to one Jinki each. I do not know by what method they ensured that the Pillar could not go mad-_

"Probably by continually discarding failures until there was a success. Either that, or you were grown in a tube for this exact purpose."

"I would prefer that you not offer anymore of your barbaric theories."

"Hey now, you were the one that said you were desperate. People do barbaric shit when they're desperate, I should know."

_ANYWAY,however it was done, it worked and each of us was to watch over a thousand Sekirei, though we ran out for me, so I had but 107._

_Space probes had been sent long ago and we knew that this planet was populated by humans, whom we were fairly certain we shared common origins with. Keeping in mind the series of events that led to our downfall, we intended to conquer it and use our second chance wisely. The unborn Sekirei were taken from their mothers in the early stages of development and fitted with winging mechanism that would allow them to be controlled if needed and the Ashikabi would be chosen from human males to ensure the continuation of our kind. The deactivation is a failsafe that was meant to place them in a temporary near death trance that would allow for an inappropriate Ashikabi to be replaced._

_When we embarked on the long journey, we did not expect that some unknown peril would cause seven of our ships to crash with only a handful of survivors, certainly not enough to execute the plan, while my ship fell into the ocean and remained there for a thousand years. _

"They must have gone native."

"Indeed, and decided to live out their lives in peace among the primitive humans, eventually resulting in the crude pseudo Ashikabi of today."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Miya exhaled as she finished her tale, feeling uncommonly exhausted. She had never liked remembering that story and being made to tell it had not been pleasant. The constant interruptions and callous comentary had certainly not made it any easier.

But if it would get Takehito returned to her...

"Well that was interesting." Naruto commented. "I guess you'll have no problem fitting in with mine and Xanna's empire if you already come from a similar system."

"What makes you think I have any interest in joining this empire of yours?" She asked tightly.

"I'm not really giving you a choice in the matter." He told her in no uncertain terms. "Takehito was obviously helping you and if Minaka hadn't killed him, you might have already subdued this planet. I'm guessing that you probably convinced him that the Earth was on the path to dooming itself and that it would be best to help you conquer it. I'm not leaving the two of you here after I've brought him back."

Miya winced, not even bothering to refute him. She had not expected that he would be so perceptive, though with his reputed ability to read minds, she supposed it was not too surprising. The reminder that Minaka was responsible for Takehito's death didn't grate on her as much as usual now that she had his resurrection to look forward to.

She still wanted to kill Minaka for it though and the only reason she hadn't done it long ago was because it would have ensured an even more terrible fate for her feathers. She had cast aside her sword upon the realisation that she wasn't able to avenge her husband's death without condemning her Sekirei to a life of being hunted, eventually caught and then experimented on in various laboratories scattered across the world.

"He did not require too much convincing." She reluctantly said, pushing aside her troubled thoughts.

"No need to sound so hesitant." He told her, amused. "I actually agree that this world would be better off if it got conquered, but that isn't important right now. Did you know that he was also trying to find ways to block the winging? That's where Minaka got his idea to use Akitsu as an experiment you know."

"I did." Miya admitted. "He convinced me to allow him to do it for those Sekirei who did not need to be controlled. I protested at first, thinking it too dangerous, but I was eventually persuaded that it was barbaric to do keep them all prisoner to their own emotions because of the bad seeds."

"That husband of yours is _definitely_ someone to keep an eye on. The both of you are going with me once he's alive again."

Miya said nothing, but looked frustrated by the ultimatum.

"You don't need to look so pissed, I don't expect either you or your boytoy to actually do anything in my empire if you don't want to, but I'm not bringing him back just so that you can start over and maybe even create another Jinki. That would almost make me feel responsible for leaving behind a mess...well, a bigger mess at any rate."

Miya sighed unhappily. She was not particularly looking forward to living under his rule, especially as he annoyed her to no end. "So our history is to be lost? Our culture swallowed by whatever empire you and your wife create? The offspring of our current Sekirei to be left powerless?"

Naruto was amused. "Aside from you and whatever can be salvaged from your ship's computer, your culture and history is already lost and it's better for them to be powerless and mentally stable than to be powerful and homicidal. I think you and your people have gotten a little too attached to the idea of being powerful, Ms. Goddess of Kouten."

Miya winced again at how very pretentious he made it sound. The title given to her as a Pillar had always been a source of pride to her, but when he said it like that, it truly did seem like they had gotten drunk on the power they'd achieved.

Still, she did feel the need to argue one final point. "But you claim to be a true god, can you not make certain that they would not go mad?"

"You don't actually have any idea how the Jinki works do you?" He asked with much amusement.

"I was always a warrior, not a scientist." She replied irritably, not at all pleased with his smugness.

"Well, let me enlighten you. It works by using the captured spiritual energies of the dead to artificially and permanently link the physical and spiritual energies of the target and enhance them. The resulting power is random, usually being a raw physical upgrade or an instictive weapon skill. In rarer cases, it is a control over a certain element. The younger the target, the greater the power, but also the more severe the consequences of it. All the physical type Sekirei are constantly having their bodies enhanced in preparation for combat, which includes the brain to lower empathy in the expectation that they will need to cause pain and take life. If their power wasn't blocked to the maximum possible degree, almost all of the non-elemental types currently alive would be bloodthirsty berserkers. The only reason that the elemental types are safe is because it leaves their brains alone for the most part."

"But...it was not that bad before. Yes, there were many, but not that many." Miya said with her face going pale.

"I'm guessing that none of the previous generations of Sekirei were empowered immediately after conception, nor were the Jinki that tainted."

"No." She conceded unhappily. "But you did not answer my question."

"When I said permanently, I meant it. I have no idea what that nutjob scientist did, but he shouldn't have done it. Any attempt at making a permanent solution would likely result in destroying the Sekirei's soul, _that_ is how closely the power is fused to them."

He wasn't going to mention that he could easily give them a far safer powerup in the same way as the Sage of Six Paths had given to his followers. That had ended up being a giant clusterfuck and he didn't have enough faith in humanity to think it would go any different a second time. Not to mention that Xanna would object to it most strenuously. They hadn't taken that kind of power away from the shinobi just to hand it out like candy later on.

"I see." Miya sighed in defeat. "I suppose that is it then."

Putting aside her dislike of the horned pervert, Miya forced herself to view the situation in an objective fashion. Their civilization had failed because the third Emperor had been a failure as a person and had ruined everything that the first Emperor, who had been a great man, had been striving to accomplish. For all of his distasteful personality traits, she could not deny that he had taken good care her feathers and did not appear to have any designs on using them as tools of conquest. Still, she wanted to make sure even if she knew that she couldn't realistically stop him from doing whatever he wanted.

"Will you answer my question now? Do you intend to use the Sekirei as tools of conquest?"

"I just love the delicious hypocrisy of that question." Naruto snickered. "But no, I wasn't even intending to bring them out of temporal stasis until the empire was well established and up to a tech level similar to the Earth of today. Then they would be given a proper education to allow them to function in their new surroundings and allowed to live as they wished."

Miya suspected that there was more to it than that, but he seemed sincere enough. If all went as he intended, then her feathers could have the life they wanted without needing any bonds placed on them or Minaka's insane schemes running their lives. As far as she knew, he had already slain all the mad ones and there would be no more with the Jinki destroyed. Truly, his wife was a bigger wild card and she had already said that the Sekirei did not interest her.

Keeping this in mind, Miya stood up from her seiza sitting position and looked at him searchingly for a long few seconds.

With a momentary hesitation, she gave him a bow and spoke in a formal tone of voice. "I, Asama Miya, the Eighth Sekirei Pillar, relinquish the guardianship and protection of my feathers and vessel to you in return for the resurrection of my husband, Asama Takehito, and agree to live under your rule without protest. May you have more success than we did... Tennō Heika."

The words were honestly just a formality considering the debt she had incurred by bartering for Takehito's revival. She still would have preferred to keep the Jinki intact, but it mattered less to her than her husband. In a way, it was a relief to let someone else take over and make the decisions. She had never been meant to rule or lead, that task had been intended for the First Pillar or the Second if something were to happen to the First. Miya had been just another sword when they set out from Kouten and the situation had been against her even when she woke. She had not known how to deal with suddenly being in charge and had performed poorly.

"Oi, oi, no need to go all ultra formal on me and I'm not even Emperor yet." Naruto protested, standing up as well.

Miya lips twitched into a smile at seeing him protest. Perhaps there were some upsides to this after all. If formality bothered him, then she would make sure to be as formal as possible at all times when around him. Insulting him had certainly only seemed to encourage him.

"But I must. His Majesty the Emperor is now my sovereign lord and it would be disrespectful of this humble landlady to refer to Him otherwise. I implore you Tennō Heika, to take good care myself and my little birds."

Naruto's eye twitched at the even _more_ formal speech, he could practically hear the capitalisation when she said 'Him'. So, Miya thought that she was going to sass him with formality did she? Well, Naruto never backed down from a challenge and he was the undisputed master of pissing people off. He would turn this around and make it blow up in her face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_What went on in the bathroom during Naruto's talk with Miya._

"I must remember to have a personal force of proffesional massage girls on standby once I am Empress." Xanna mused to herself, sitting on a wooden stool. Akitsu, Chiho, Uzume and Matsu were brushing a tail each, while a pouting Musubi poured hot water over Xanna's back every so often.

Musubi didn't have a very good idea of how to properly brush a tail.

"You'd need a lot of massage girls." Uzume snickered, gently running her brush over a tail. They were very nice tails, even if she didn't have Chiho's fetish for them. She was a lot more affected by being so close to a fully naked Xanna and remembering the things that she could do with her tongue. The free tails that wound their way around her and rubbed at certain parts of her body didn't help.

A look over at Chiho revealed that her Ashikabi was even further gone and looked as if she was about to have a tail induced orgasm at any second. Aside from the one she was brushing there was also another two winding their way up her legs, going perilously close to her groin and then upwards to brush past her nipples.

Uzume had a suspicion that she might be getting that orgy she'd suggested to Chiho after all, even if it wasn't going to include Naruto.

"Yes, fourteen I think." The horned woman agreed.

"But you only have ten tails." Musubi said in confusion.

"The extra four would massage my legs and back." She explained.

"Fuhuhuhu, Xanna-tan is quite the hedonist." Matsu chuckled perversely, 'accidentally' brushing her hand against the curve of the horned woman's rear end every time that she went for the beginning of the tail. Matsu was an equal opportunity pervert and Xanna's ass was so firm that she could no doubt bend steel with it.

Xanna frowned, wondering if she should take offense at the childish honorific and deciding not to in the end. It was just how the redhead spoke. "In the absence of any other purpose, it is only logical to seek pleasure and self-gratification. Indeed, it is logical even _with_ other purpose."

"Finally, someone who understands!" Matsu cheered.

"What's a hedonist?" Musubi asked curiously

"Someone who sees the meaning of life as the pursuit of pleasure." Xanna explained. "Though I would argue that everyone is a hedonist."

"How do you figure that?" Uzume asked, more curious than doubtful.

"All of you are certainly here because you derive some form of pleasure from touching my tails, or in the case of Matsu, from her poor pretense of 'accidentally' touching me." Xanna explained with a smirk.

Matsu froze, almost expecting to be hit over the head with a ladle or something, so deep was the conditioning by Miya. "Eheheh, sorry?"

"If I had minded, you would know it."

Matsu relaxed fractionally, but now continued brushing with instinctive caution, only rubbing against the flawless dark skin occasionally.

"But Musubi was just curious about the tails." The fist fighter protested. "My meaning is with my Ashikabi."

"You are here because you wished to satisfy your curiousity, thus you have sought pleasure of the mind."

Musubi looked adorably confused, the philosophical argument clearly going right over her head.

"But if you wish to seek pleasure with your Ashikabi, I can teach you." Xanna continued with a devious smirk.

"That would be amazing Xanna-sama! Please teach me!" Musubi exclaimed, her fists held under her chin in excitement and completely missing the alarmed looks that Uzume and Matsu exchanged.

"Very well." Xanna said and stood up to loom over Musubi, ignoring the small moans of disappointment made by Chiho and Akitsu. "Your Ashikabi is indecisive and has a fear of women, so you must take the lead."

"What do I do?" Musubi asked with determination, punching her fist into her palm and looking ready to do battle.

"Being stronger than him, you will find it quite simple." Xanna began lecturing.

"First, you grab his hands. Like so." She said and grabbed Musubi's wrists. "Then you force him to the ground, like so." Xanna proceeded to manhandle the fist fighter to the floor in time with her instruction.

"He will likely try to fight you and even tell you to stop, but you should ignore him, as he has no idea what is good for him."

"But don't I need to obey my Ashikabi?" Musubi asked innocently, not at all bothered to have the horned woman pinning her to the floor and sitting on her chest just underneath her breasts.

"Not really and especially not in this case, now pay attention. I will only show you this once." Xanna said sternly.

"Okay!"

"The next move would be to grab both of his arms with one of your own, and use your now free arm to rip off any clothing he may be wearing."

"But why would he wear clothes in the bath?" Musubi asked in confusion, now having both of her hands held in one of Xanna's above her head.

"Because you do not need to be in the bath to do this dimwitted one." Was the exasperated explanation. "It can be done anywhere, but since that human is so fragile, it would be best to do it on a bed. And make sure to divest yourself of clothing as well."

Musubi made a noise denoting understanding and Xanna continued. "Now that you have him pinned and naked, move yourself so that you are sitting on his face, like so."

"Ooh, Xanna-sama has one of those too!" Musubi said with a tone of recognition staring upwards into the exposed crotch above her face. "It makes Musubi feel good when she touches that, does yours feel good if you touch it?"

Xanna ignored the question and the not particularly surprising revelation that Musubi had been discovering masturbation. "Pay attention, this is the most important part."

"Okay." The fist fighter said with a look determination, resolved to master this technique that would allow her to experience pleasure with Minato-sama.

"At this point, you must pin his arms with your legs, like so. Once this is done, grab onto his hair with one hand, lower your pelvis and place the part that feels good over his mouth while saying 'lick it, slave!' in a firm, commanding voice."

Off to the side, a wide eyed and rather aroused Uzume leaned over to an equally wide eyed and aroused Matsu to whisper a question. "Did she just teach Musubi how to orally rape Minato, dominatrix style?"

"Fuhuhuhuhuhu, oh yes! Matsu will enjoy watching this on her hidden cameras." The pervert cackled quietly, not wanting to disrupt the 'lesson'.

"Whaths a swave?" Musubi asked, her voice muffled due to having a vagina covering her mouth.

"It is the pet name that you will use for that Ashikabi of yours when you do things like this." Xanna explained and stood up.

"What do I do next?" Musubi asked eagerly.

"If he is any kind of man, he will know what to do next." The horned woman said with a dismissive hand wave and then frowned in thought. "Matsu, take Musubi to your room an educate her on sex. Use videos but stick to the basics, several positons for oral and vaginal sex should do it. Avoid toys or anal sex, I doubt that fool boy has the durability to survive such a thing."

"Matsu will be more than happy to!" The Brain Type said gleefully and dragged an excited Musubi out of the bathroom after they collected their clothes.

"Miya is _so_ going to blow a gasket." Uzume said from where she was holding a flushed Chiho that was quite obviously in a state of extreme arousal.

"Good." Was Xanna's only response as she walked over to the bath and sank into the steaming water.

_Do not sit too close to me, I have plans for these two and I will need some room._ She sent directly to Akitsu's mind. _We will have time for our fun later._

Akitsu gave a miniscule nod of understanding and sat quite a distance away under the pretense of continuing her brushing of the tails. She was a bit upset about not being able to sit close, but it was alright.

Uzume and Chiho exchanged surprised looks when Xanna got herself comfortable in the large tub. Very much unlike how one would expect a woman to sit, she had placed her arms over the rim of the tub and leaned back against it, which coincidentally pushed her chest out. They each separately judged them to be the most perfect pair of breasts they had ever laid eyes on. Certainly not as big as that of many Sekirei, but they had a perfect shape, firmness, color, positioning and proportion in relation to the rest of her body.

In addition, she also had her legs spread lewdly and obviously intended to keep them that way.

"Well, are you two going to join us or do you intend to continue gawking?" She asked with her eyes closed.

Uzume and Chiho snapped out of their daze and made their way over, only then noticing that the horned woman was actually sitting _on_ her tails, using them as some kind of makeshit cushion. Curiously enough, they remained as fluffy as ever even though the water should have made them look like soggy rat tails.

As soon as they made it into the tub, the aforementioned tails started to pull them towards the horned woman. As soon as they were in range, Xanna's hands reached out and cupped each of the two women's cheeks. "That was quite enough teasing I should think. It is time we moved on to foreplay."

Uzume and Chiho shivered in arousal at the pure suggestion in her tone and easily allowed themselves to be guided forward. They ended up straddling a leg each, while Xanna's hands continued to guide their heads towards her nipples. "You know what to do."

Lost in a lust induced daze, they each clamped their lips over the dark pink nipples and started to suck on them.

Xanna returned her hands back over the rim of the rub and leaned back, pushing her breasts more firmly outwards.

Both Uzume and Chiho moaned in pleasure when something unexpectedly trickled into their mouths from the nipples they were sucking on. It was like nothing they'd ever tasted before, but it made the heat between their legs burn twice as hot and they instinctively rubbed their groins against the leg they were straddling in a desperate attempt to relieve the pressure.

Soon they were whimpering needily as the relief wouldn't come and the heat worsened further. Their movements became ever more desperate, they started to rub their groins against Xanna's legs almost violently, sucking on her nipples with force that would have even a Sekirei shrieking in pain and one hand from each had long since wandered to the horned woman's nether regions in an attempt to entice her into giving them some relief.

And then they were unceremoniously pulled away. "That will be enough for now, but I will be visiting you later. Come Akitsu, we are leaving. Naruto should be done with Miya soon and we might as well prepare if we are going to properly defile this place."

"Ah...yes." Akitsu somehow managed to pull off what could only be called a 'delighted monotone'.

Uzume and Chiho just sat in the tub where they had been left for a while, pressing their thighs together and trying to make sense of the world again. For a little while it had seemed as if the very Universe depended on the burning need to satisfy their lust and having it interrupted so abruptly was beyond jarring.

"Uzume-chan, I know that Miya-san doesn't approve of these things, but I need you so badly right now." Chiho whimpered, her hands cupped over her aching nether regions.

Uzume didn't even bother talking as she crashed her lips on those of her Ashikabi and they started desperately rubbing each other between the legs. They both reached a shuddering climax within seconds and never even noticed that the standard lightshow from when a Sekirei and Ashikabi kissed was conspicuously missing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Back with Miya and Naruto._

Thinking with a speed that only a god could manage, Naruto went over everything he knew of Miya and how it could possibly be used against her now that she had formally acknowledged him as Emperor.

It came to him fairly quickly in the end.

"Well, since you asked so nicely, I guess I'll have to take my new duties seriously and take good care of you." He said magnanimously.

Miya's smile faltered, wondering what the hell he was up to. She did not get too long to consider it, as a chair came into existence behind her and she was somehow pushed into it.

It was not a regular chair, but one of those strange wavy things that you were liable to see in every psychiatrist scene on television.

"It has come to my attention that you were never given counseling after the series of tragedies in your life and as you are technically my first official subject as Emperor, it behooves me to ascertain your mental health." Naruto spoke in his best psychiatrist voice from his own chair, legs crossed with a clipboard in hand and having a pair of glasses perched on his nose. Bizzarely enough, he also had a wispy golden goatee hanging down to his chest.

It would have been very Mephistopheles if it wasn't such a bright color.

Disturbed by the abrupt change in dynamics, Miya nonetheless managed to pull herself together in time to answer the question with as much formality as possible. "I assure you Heika, that my mental health is just fine."

"I believe I will be the judge of that." He waved off.

"I was not aware that your majesty was a psychiatrist." Miya commented serenely, determined to win this silly game.

"Karasuba accused me of being one, so it must be true." He replied. "Speaking of Karasuba, I understand you walked in on her attempting to rape your husband. How did that make you _feel?_"

Miya ground her teeth together at the reminder of that incident, the anger at her former subordinate still not quenched. "I do not see how that has anything to do with-"

"I can hear you grinding your teeth together Miya, clearly this is important to you. Answer the question please."

Miya took a deep breath to calm herself down, knowing perfectly well that he was just riling her up...and damn him for succeeding. Karasuba and what she'd tried to do was always a sore spot, but if she wanted to win, she couldn't let him get to her.

"It enraged me. If it pleases your majesty, I would be more than happy to remove that filth from the earth." She answered once she could speak without growling.

Naruto kept his face from twitching at the ultra formal address. He knew perfectly well that Miya was still a very proud woman, but the expected return of her husband was no doubt having an uplifting effect on her mood, making it harder to rile her than normal. The long conversation earlier had also given her plenty of time to adjust to the idea of not being the most powerful anymore, so that road was closed.

"Have you considered attempting to forgive her? Despite appearances, she was very young and didn't understand what she was doing." He said in a sympathetic tone that Karasuba would have tried to kill him for. The Black Sekirei didn't want or need anyone's sympathy.

"That is the only reason that she is still alive."

Naruto turned to his clipboard and started writing something down on it, muttering under his breath all the while. Phrases such as 'unhealthy attachment to anger', 'replacing grief with rage' and similar things drifted to Miya's ears.

"Are psychiatrists not supposed to be discreet your majesty?" Miya inquired, hiding her irritation at his amateurish psychoanalysis. She just knew he was talking out loud on purpose.

"I suppose it's a good thing that I'm not licensed then, otherwise I might have lost my license." Naruto commented airily. "To move on to what Freud and I suspect to be the root cause of your issues, how often have you been masturbating since Takehito's death?"

"What?" Miya asked woodenly, unable to believe that he'd just asked something so crass right to her face.

"You know, how often have you kneaded the love muffin?"

"I don-"

"Diddled the skittle?"

"I haven-"

"Flicked the bean?"

"I'm not-"

"Stroked the kitty?"

"I've neve-"

"Done some indoor fishing?"

"I-"

"Given yourself some lip service? Brushed the-"

"I DON'T MASTURBATE!"

Miya's face paled to the color of bone the very instant that the words left her mouth. She bore an expression that spoke volumes of shame, regret, embarassment and finally, defeat.

"Well, since you apparently feel the need to scream, perhaps you should consider starting?"

The purple haired landlady could not recall ever before feeling the need to scream in frustration. She did not enjoy the feeling.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_I DON'T MASTURBATE!_"

Heads turned back in the dining/living room of the inn as everyone exchanged wide eyed looks upon hearing something like that being shouted in Miya's inn.

"Didn't that sound like Miya?" Karasuba asked with an odd expression on her face, her cheeks a bit pink from Kazehana's booze.

More looks were exchanged before everyone shook their heads in dismissal of the wild idea.

"Nah, couldn't be."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Musubi was just getting her crash course in sex when the shout echoed through the building and put a temporary halt to the education.

"What does masturbation mean?" Musubi asked of Matsu while the most perverted of all Sekirei was shocked into silence.

"You remember when you told Xanna-tan that it feels good when you touch yourself down there?" Matsu asked, getting herself back together and saying a silent prayer for whatever brave soul dared utter such a thing in Miya's inn.

"Uh huh."

"That is called masturbation."

"Ohhh." Musubi said in pleased realisation that she knew what was going on. "Musubi likes masturbating."

"So does Matsu Musubi-tan, so does Matsu."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

In another room that had formerly been empty, Akitsu was chained to the ceiling by her wrists, naked except for the pair of manacles around them.

When the shout reached her and Xanna, both of their heads went up in curiosity before the horned woman commented on it. "Looks like that husband of mine is finished with the purple prude for the moment."

"Ah...will he be coming here soon mistress?" Akitsu asked hopefully.

"And inside us no doubt." Xanna answered wryly.

"Ah...please let me prepare you to receive him mistress." The Ice Sekirei asked pleadingly.

"Humm...tempting, but I think I will allow you to go first this time." The horned woman said and gently dragged the velvet wrapped paddle that she had previously been using to lightly spank Akitsu across the Ice Sekirei's already moist nether regions.

"Tha-aa-ank yo-u- mistre-sssss." Akitsu gasped as the familiar ecstasy of the heavily chakra infused paddle rubbing across her privates seared her body with unimaginable pleasure. The visible signs of her arousal had already started forming an ever enlarging puddle on the floor under her, but she knew that no relief would be forthcoming until Naruto came to fill her.

Akitsu found herself uncommonly impatient as she squirmed on the paddle.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**I bet ya'll must be hating me so hard by now with all these cliffhangers, but it's really not my fault. Originally, the past three chapters and the next one were all supposed to be just one chapter, but it keeps getting longer and longer.**

**I'm actually going to have some serious trouble putting something other than porn into the next one with the way that things turned out. I'm sure most of you will be terribly upset by this and I promise to keep the lemon content to the bare minimum.**


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